East of the Sun (10 page)

He remained standing in front of her, rubbing his hand over his face once, then reached out towards her as if he wanted to take her hand. When she didn’t move, he became flustered and dropped his hand.

‘I really thought that you just wanted to forget this place, you know. There was so little of substance in the new reports that I didn’t want you to get upset over nothing.’

‘Do you think
you
would simply be able to turn your back and move on with your life if something like that happened to Cathy or your children? Do you honestly think I stopped thinking about everything that happened when I was no longer in Russia?’ When she heard how dangerously high her voice sounded, she stopped abruptly, summoning all her inner resources to avoid crying again. Anger and misery burned in her chest.

‘I’m so sorry . . .’ Patrick looked distraught and moved as if to lay his hands on her arms, but Amelia turned away and took a step towards the window. Big snowflakes had started to fall outside.

‘Why didn’t you tell me, Patrick? How could you possibly keep any news from me?’ She turned around and watched his shoulders slump.

He sighed and sat down in the chair behind his desk. Suddenly she found his handsome features, his blue eyes unbearable. She turned away again, unable to face him for the moment.

‘Amelia, please, come sit down, let’s talk this through. I’ll explain again. Please.’

She didn’t want to relent, but a part of her wanted to believe that he was on her side, wanted to know the truth and was desperate to hear a good explanation that would put things right again. At length she returned to her chair and waited for him to give her that explanation.

He sighed. ‘It was all so horrible. Such a terrible shock.’ He shook his head, but didn’t meet her eye. ‘I felt sick. I felt guilty, as if I’d let you – and him – down that night. I felt that I should have looked out for him more. And afterwards I saw how devastated you were. It looked like you were barely functioning, like you were unable to process any information.’

Patrick rubbed his hand through his thick black hair and sighed again. He looked up at her. ‘I thought you were falling apart, and when nothing more could be done, you left. And I thought if I reminded you of that night and that time, if I gave you useless new information, you’d never heal, and that I’d be doubly responsible. I didn’t want to devastate you again.’

He waited for her reaction, but she simply stared at him.

‘I’m so sorry, Amelia. I acted without thinking it through. I should have told you, I realise now. I’m very, very sorry.’

Amelia felt her breathing slow down and eventually she was able to nod.

‘Half of my problem has been
not
knowing, Patrick,’ she said quietly. ‘You can’t sleep, you can’t move, all you can think about is your loved one and an unknown fate. Or worse, you imagine all the possible fates that could have befallen him – in a ditch somewhere; being tortured by gang members; with memory loss or a gunshot to his head . . .’ Patrick winced at her words. ‘It all plays out in front of your eyes. And each little scrap of information may help to dispel those images. Do you understand?’ she asked angrily, urgently.

He nodded. ‘I think I do. I’m terribly sorry, Amelia.’

She couldn’t say anything more and for minutes they sat in thick silence, unable to look at one another.

‘Will you pass on to me anything new that you receive?’

‘Of course. Immediately, I promise.’

Amelia picked up her belongings and without a further word left Patrick’s office. He had the good sense to let her go without fuss. She walked down the corridor and stopped only to glance briefly at Robert’s smiling face on the wall.
I miss you
, she told him wordlessly and left the warm embassy for the cold, snowy streets.

In the enclosed room at the very top of the National Hotel the smell of chlorine was strong in the heavy, humid air. Amelia’s shoulders ached, but the solitude and exertion that never failed to empty her mind of worry brought some relief and she turned to do another lap in the pool. She felt better, but just couldn’t rid herself of tension entirely and her thoughts returned stubbornly to the events of the day.

As if her conversation with Patrick hadn’t been enough, she felt generally uneasy about the day’s experiences. Something was bothering her. Was it Legault? Could he be trusted? He seemed so kind, but had he not been overly accommodating? Could it really be possible that he had only one thin file covering all the events around Robert’s disappearance?

Or was it simply a matter of her own sense of guilt about not reaching out to Ratna during the past year that was troubling her? She’d been so wrapped up in her own heartbreak that other people’s struggles hadn’t even entered her mind. She continued swimming, lap after lap, hoping the physical exhaustion would wipe out, if only temporarily, the confusion in her mind.

Finally, unable to go any further, she took the last stroke and reached for the pool’s side. At the moment she raised her head from the water and leaned her arms on the edge of the pool for a brief rest, she knew with absolute certainty that something had changed in the pool room since her last lap.

The air seemed different, altered.

Quickly she looked around, but there was no one else in the room. Nothing appeared out of place. Her towel was still lying at the other end of the pool. Could it be her imagination? She held her breath to see if she could hear anything. Nothing. Apart from the gentle lapping of the water, the room was still. But something didn’t feel right.

Her room key. It should be underneath her towel. Hurriedly she climbed out of the pool and ran over to where she’d left her things. The towel looked undisturbed, but when she lifted it to check if the room key was still there, she stopped dead. There, on top of her key, lay an envelope. It was identical to the one she’d received before.

She snatched up her towel and key and ran out of the room. The gym’s reception vestibule was empty and the counter deserted. She called out and after a few moments, a young woman appeared from a back room, her arms laden with fresh towels.

‘Was anyone here just now?’ she demanded. ‘Did anyone go in there?’ she asked again when the bewildered girl didn’t answer immediately. Amelia willed herself to slow down, realising the girl’s English was probably not good enough to understand.

‘Did you see anyone go in there?’ she asked more slowly. Only when she attempted the question in Russian did the girl react with a shake of her head.

‘In the last ten minutes? Are you sure?’

‘I see nobody,’ the girl answered in English. Amelia glanced at the back room she’d emerged from. If she’d been busy in there for a while, it would have been very easy for someone to slip in unnoticed.

‘Everything is okay?’ the girl asked, suddenly remembering her guest relations training. Anxiety was clear on her face, the dread that something might have gone wrong on her watch clearly causing significant distress.

Amelia hesitated, but knew she would gain nothing by pressing the girl further. ‘It’s okay, don’t worry.’

She pulled the towel closer around her wet body and went back into the pool area. She looked into the room that held the treadmills and other exercise equipment, both the washrooms and twice she circled the entire pool area, her heart pounding. Nothing was out of place. Finally she looked down at the wet envelope in her hands. Opening it, she could see that the note was written on a bright yellow square folded into one triangle and then another, exactly like the first. The printed message was as simple as the previous one.

You do not belong here anymore. Go
.

Moscow – 18:00

He was on his way out, relishing the thought of a rare early evening, but there was one more call he had to take before the day’s business could be finalised. The phone he carried with him at all times now was on his desk already. It started ringing on cue.

‘It’s me.’

‘Good. Anything?’

‘Nothing. Just a quiet life in London.’

‘London?’

‘Dual citizenship.’

‘Hmm. No contacts, no movements?’

‘Nothing from her side. Renovated an old place, kept to herself, rarely went anywhere.’

‘Any sign of her own people, or her husband’s?’

‘No, but both sides of the ocean must have kept an eye on her. Right now I’m told they’re all invisible over there.’

‘Okay, that’s good. Come see me tomorrow. I’m getting some pressure about her being here.’

‘From . . . ?’

‘Yes, you know. He’s on the verge of panicking.’

‘Want me to handle it?’

‘No, it’s a delicate situation. But there’s something else I’d like to discuss in person. Something I want you to do.’

‘I’ll be there.’

10

O
nly when she emerged from the bathroom did Amelia notice the blinking light on the room’s telephone. She dialled in to listen to the message. It was a surprise to hear Nick Sanford’s recorded voice.

Hi this is a message for Amelia Preston. It’s Nick, Nick Sanford, Amelia. My movements are a little uncertain for the next few hours, but I’ll try to stop by your hotel this evening. I shouldn’t be too late. There are some things we should talk about. And sooner would be better if it’s possible for you. All right, eh, see you later. Oh, it’s about five o’clock now. Bye.

Amelia glanced at her watch. It was almost eight. Although it was impressive that he was getting back to her so soon after their first meeting, she wasn’t sure she could handle any more surprises after the day she’d had. The pool episode had shaken her. That someone had been able to come so close to her to leave the note was an uncomfortable thought. Should she pay heed to the messages and go back home? Was she crazy to continue her pursuit of the truth? Probably.

And yet.
Things we should talk about
, he’d said.

She dried her hair and as she stood before the closet, considering the few garments to choose from, she found that, despite her frazzled nerves, she was glad that she’d be seeing Nick Sanford again. He offered her a neutral perspective and was the only person who had no involvement in her life or feelings about her or Robert. She needed that. He seemed calm and level-headed and she could use that kind of input right now.

She switched on the television simply to add sound to the otherwise silent room, lying back on the bed to contemplate her options. She’d spoken to detective Kiriyenko and the embassy staff and had indeed learnt a few more things, but there were still no real leads to pursue. Only that the driver had been found, but of what value was he if he had no memory of the night Robert disappeared? What was her next step? There were so few alternatives to choose from and she felt so unqualified to make the right choices.

The telephone shrilled next to her.

‘Nick?’

‘It’s Cathy.’

‘Cathy! How lovely to hear your voice!’

‘And yours. Patrick told me you were back.’

Judging by her tone, it was clear that Cathy wasn’t too happy about having learnt the news from anyone other than Amelia herself.

‘I’m sorry I haven’t called yet, Cathy. I was planning to. There’s been so much to do, mostly admin and sorting through our things. Nothing terribly exciting, but it still has to be done.’

‘I didn’t know you were planning on coming back.’ Again there was the slightest hint off accusation in Cathy’s voice.

‘I wasn’t really planning it for very long. And sorry again, the last few days have been hectic.’

At last Cathy’s relented. ‘I understand. I’m certainly happy that I’ll have a chance to see you again.

‘Me too.’

‘I didn’t realise you had so much to do here.’

‘Yes, not ideal, is it?’

‘Well, don’t think you can escape me forever. That’s why I’m calling. There’s a Canadian women’s meeting at the embassy on Wednesday and I thought it would give you a chance to see some old faces.’

Oh no. ‘I don’t know, Cathy . . .’ It was the last thing she wanted to do. All those women looking at her, wondering, asking questions.

‘Please say you’ll come. I really need to – want to – see you. There’s so much to talk about.’

Had she heard a quiver in Cathy’s voice?

‘Please, Amelia. It’s been so long.’

Amelia sighed. Why was she finding it so hard to say no to people? All these distractions were complicating her return to Moscow. She couldn’t afford to lose focus. But something in Cathy’s voice sounded off. And she already felt bad about being so uninvolved in Ratna’s life in the past year.

‘Is everything all right, Cathy?’

‘Yes, yes, of course. Everything is fine.’ The answer was too breezy. Something was up.

‘Well, I suppose it won’t take too much time. Okay, I’ll come.’

‘Brilliant! And I won’t let you back out.’

‘I won’t.’

‘Good. Well, listen, I’ve got to go, it’s late and I still have to get dinner ready. I just wanted to be sure I caught you.’ ‘All right, thanks for the call. Give the girls a hug from me.’

‘Will do. By the way, who’s Nick??