Eastland (15 page)

Attendance at St. Mary’s Sunday morning had thinned
dramatically from Black Wednesday. Though there were still
more than the normal number of parishioners, we weren’t back
to anything approaching the overflow that had been forced to
stand out in the rain. With the spectacle of the funerals behind
us, Bishop Rhode had returned to his usual duties for the
Archdiocese of Chicago. Father Raczynski would serve Mass
today in the customary Polish.

I found a half-empty pew up near the altar, genuflected
on one knee and crossed myself, and then slid onto the
wooden bench. I eased down the padded kneeler and knelt
to pray. Mama did the same, with one slight difference.
She had her string of Rosary beads draped over the fingers
of her right hand. It always amazed me how she could say
the Rosary and do all sorts of other tasks at the same time.
Whenever I’d tried that, I would lose my place with the
beads and get the prayers all messed up. But not Mama. She
seemed utterly at ease with the beads, as if her Rosary was
an extension of her right hand.

I pressed my palms together and tried to concentrate. I had a
lot of praying to do today. Of course, I had my usual petitions for
Papa, but now I had to add something about Mae. Everyone who
had loved her had to pray for her soul in Purgatory. The more
offerings we made, the more we helped her gain forgiveness for
her earthly sins and pass through the Pearly Gates of Heaven.

Would Papa be at the gates to greet her? No, probably not.
He had died before ever meeting Mae. Maybe Grandpa Koznecki
would welcome her, or maybe Mae’s Uncle Stan, who’d passed
last year, would be there with open arms. Though with Uncle
Stan, there existed the very real possibility he was not yet in
heaven. According to the whispers I’d overheard at his funeral,
Uncle Stan had loved the whiskey and the women. If those
rumors had been true, poor Uncle Stan needn’t bother pitching
a tent in purgatory. He should build a home. He’d probably be
there a long, long time.

I scratched an itch beneath my chapel veil. My mind couldn’t
just wander all willy-nilly, not with Mae’s eternal soul at stake. I
let my hand rest on my watch. How long would it last? Could the
watch run for my entire lifetime? What if I lived to be ninety? I
quickly asked God to watch over my watch. I smiled to myself,
thinking about God watching my watch.

What was my problem today? I had to keep control of myself
and pray, or Mae would be forced to move in with Uncle Stan. I
closed my eyes. Mae’s beautiful face appeared. Lars would have
liked her smile. Mae would have loved his turquoise eyes. And
those big, muscular arms.

If Father Raczynski knew what I’d been thinking, he would
make me say ten Hail Marys in penance for my lustful thoughts.
Good thing he didn’t know.

I lowered my head onto my folded hands and tried to clear
my mind of all impure desires, but it was no use. Lars and
Karel seemed to be the only things on my brain today. And
though I’d loved Mae with all my heart, I knew she would
understand.

“I don’t mind hearing about your cute mariner,” she’d probably say. “But leave my brother out of this discussion.”
I would if I could, but I can’t. I cared about Karel too much.
But I also cared for Lars.
Over the past eight days, Karel had been transformed. He
was no longer the selfish dandy who’d been forced to chaperone
his little sister and her friend to their company picnic. Karel had
become a thoughtful, patient, dutiful son who had attended to
his two grieving parents. He’d made me laugh and tingle. With
him, I felt safe and happy and hopeful.
But Lars had made me all tingly as well. I never knew what to
expect with him. I liked that. Though I would worry about him
out there on the lake, life with Lars would never be dull.
But a life with Karel would never be boring, either. We would
travel. Mama might even be able to accompany us at times. She
got along well with the Kozneckis, plus with Karel, I’d always be
close to Mae. If she had lived, and Karel and I had married, Mae
and I would have been related. We would have been not only the
best of friends, but sisters.
The thought struck me like a thunderclap. A sob exploded
from my lips.
“Sit,” Mama whispered to me.
I got up from the kneeler and sank onto the pew, struggling to
keep control. When I looked up, I realized that half the people in
church were doing the exact same thing. Sobs and sighs rippled
up and down the pews. Cicero still mourned. The town would
probably carry this sadness for a very, long time. That was fine
with me. Grief meant the dead would not be forgotten.
When Mass was over, I shuffled along behind Mama out the
doors and into the fresh air. Sunshine blinded me. How long
had it been since I’d felt the sun? I stood for a moment letting
the hot, sticky rays soak over my skin, down through my pores,
and deep into my veins. I wanted to dry out every last remaining
tear.
Mama removed her long chapel veil, folded it, and dropped
it into her purse.
“What shall we do today,
chérie
?”
What were we going to do? What we always did on Sundays.
Finish the last of our sewing from the week and make a quiet
supper.
“Maybe go for ice cream? Or see a moving picture?”
Who was this woman? I took off my own chapel veil and
tucked it into the pocket of my skirt. Had I left with the wrong
mother? I glanced back at the large, wooden doors of the church.
Karel stood on the landing, waving at me. Had he been at
Mass this morning? Funny, I hadn’t seen him. He strode toward
us dressed in a cool, Palm Beach cloth suit with tan, cuffed
trousers, and brown-and-white spats on his feet.
“
Madame
.” Karel nodded to Mama and removed his Panama
hat. “So good to see you again.” She took one look at him and
broke into a huge smile.
“Karel! We did not see you in Mass.”
“I came late. Overslept. Long night.”
I held my breath, waiting to see if he would explain about
last night. Why he had really come to the ballet benefit? Was it
jealousy or charity?
“I sat in the back of church. I didn’t want to disturb either of
you during Mass.”
“Your mama? She is well?
Non?
”
“She’s coping. But I worry she will never be truly healthy
again.”
“The Mama can never get over the death of her child.” She
grabbed my hand and squeezed it hard. “I will pray for your
Mama and Mae every day.”
“Thank you.” He teared up but then quickly blinked those
tears away. “I wanted to see if you two lovely ladies would
care to join me for supper? I know this wonderful little Italian
place.”
“We were just talking about our plans for the day. I will let
Delia decide what we should do this afternoon.” Mama and
Karel looked at me, waiting for my response.
But I couldn’t answer. I could only stare. At Lars. Who was
strutting up the sidewalk.
He wore navy trousers and a collared shirt with a Kelly-green
bow tie. It was the first time I’d seen him out of uniform. He
looked great in everyday clothes, but I couldn’t help wondering
how he’d found a tie wide enough for his thick neck.
“What … what’re you doing here?” I was startled, excited,
and nervous all jumbled together.
“I came to tell you I had a wonderful time last night.”
Karel made an odd gurgling noise.
“Mrs. Pageau!” Lars exclaimed. “You look lovely this
morning.”
I was touched by Lars’s genuine tone. But obviously Karel
wasn’t, because he let out an even weirder sound.
“You look different today, Mr. Nee-el-son.” Mama’s manner
was hesitant. I wondered if she’d picked up on the tension in the
air. “But nice.”
“Thank you. But like we talked about last night, you have to
call me Lars.”
She smiled and then quickly covered her mouth. She glanced
at Karel.
His expression was twisted and sour, as though he’d tested a
bad batch of candy.
“I was hoping to find you and your mother on your way home
from church.” Lars appeared relaxed, as though an awkward
situation like this happened to him every day. Or maybe like
he’d planned it all along. “Are you ladies hungry? Because I
heard about this great—”
“I’ve invited them to eat with me today!” Karel broke in.
“Have they given you an answer yet?”
“No, but …” Karel looked back and forth between me and Mama.
“I see Father Raczynski.” Mama waved to the priest, who was
standing in the midst of a group of parishioners. “I must talk
with him.” And before I could stop her, Mama scampered off,
leaving me alone with the two of them.
I began to sweat. I was pretty sure it had nothing to do with
the August sun.
“Well?” they shot at me.
“Well, what?” My dread had turned to annoyance. “What do
you want from me?”
“I’d like to take you to a Cubs game next week.” Lars swung
a pretend bat, and then clucked his tongue as though he’d hit a
home run. “It may not be a benefit, but it should be fun.”
“I wanted to talk to you about that trip to Mackinac Island.
You remember, the trip to the Grand Hotel we’d talked about on
our date last Friday night?”
“You’re going away with him? To a hotel?” Lars spun on
Karel. “How dare you!”
“How dare I what?”
Lars stepped up to Karel’s face. Karel was a few inches taller,
but Lars was a few inches broader.
Neither seemed to notice the differences.
“Listen, sailor-boy. You can’t sweep into Dee’s life and think
she’s going to sail off into the sunset with you.”
“What? Me?” Lars thumped Karel in the chest with a thick
finger. “I’m not the one whisking her off to a hotel.”
Karel flicked Lars’s finger from his chest. Lars’s hands fisted.
Karel tossed his hat onto the grass and threw up his fists.
They swayed back and forth like two cobras ready to strike.
I screamed.

Karel and Lars turned and stared at me, their fists frozen in
midair.
“I’ll talk to you when you put down your hands.”
The two men growled and then slowly lowered their arms.
“That’s better. Now, Lars. For your information, I’m not
going to any hotel with Karel. Well, not alone. I’ll be with his
parents. His grief-stricken parents, who would like my company
and need my consolation. You do remember them, don’t you?”
Lars hung his head, nodding to the concrete.
“And you, Karel.” I whirled on him. “For your information,
I’m not sailing off into the sunset with Lars or anyone else. Not
right now when I have so much to figure out about myself and
my new life.” I expelled a tight breath. “This is hard for me to
say, but, well, I like you both.”
I tried to read their expressions, but they both appeared
stone-faced. Maybe they had already figured this out.
“Since you two can’t seem to agree on anything, I’d like to
offer a compromise.”
“I’m listening,” said Karel. But he didn’t look happy about it.
“Me too!” Lars added quickly.
“What I would really, really like … is to not have to choose. I
want to get to know each of you better. What I’m trying to say is
that I’d like to see both of you.”
Their stone faces looked surprised. So maybe they hadn’t
worked out every aspect of this relationship puzzle.
“It’s an unusual request, but these are extraordinary times.
And you are both such
extra
ordinary men.”
Lars gave a big, toothy grin. Karel offered a dimpled smile.
“I’ll take that as a ‘yes’ from each of you?” They both nodded.
“Good.”
“So how will this work, exactly?” Lars asked.
“Yeah, how?”
“I don’t know. I don’t have all the answers.”
They both laughed. “We thought you did,” said Karel.
“Afraid not, fellas. But I do know one thing. I thank you both
for the generous offers of lunch. But today is for Mama. I’d like
us to spend the whole day together. That okay with you two?”
“Sure!” they both said.
They looked relieved, as though they’d been expecting something else. Something worse.
Karel stepped forward. “Have fun today.” He pecked my
cheek.
“Thank you. I think we will. And you say hello to your parents
from me. You start back at Brach’s tomorrow?”
He nodded.
I laced my fingers through his. “Could be a tough day. Stop
by after work if you want to talk.”
“I just might do that.” Karel squeezed my hands.
I found myself drawn to that dimpled chin, those gorgeous
lips. I kissed him, fast and hard. We both stood for a moment,
stunned by the intensity of our emotions.
“Mae would be proud of you,” I whispered to him.
“She’d be delighted with the confident woman you’ve become. Think you’re ready for the suffragettes?”
“Maybe. I’ll let you know when I join the movement.”
“Please do. I’ll give you Mae’s sash.” He smiled, though kind
of sadly, and stepped back.
Lars came up to me. “I’m making the daily back and forth
between Chicago and Milwaukee on the
Chris Columbus
.
Means I’ll be back in town every night. So may I call on you on
Wednesday? Maybe go for some ice cream?”
Karel cleared his throat.
“I have a better idea, Lars. Why don’t we go bowling at the
new lanes at Western Electric? I’ve never been, but I hear bowling is fun.” I glanced back at Karel and winked.
“I’d love to try bowling! So, I’ll pick you up at say, seven?”
Lars shifted from foot to foot. I was pretty sure he wanted to kiss
me, but with Karel still hanging around, the situation felt more
than a little strange.
“See you tomorrow, Dee. Take care of yourself.” Karel
scooped up his Panama from the lawn and strolled down the
street toward home.
I moseyed up to Lars. He put his arms around my waist and
then kissed me quickly, as though he’d been waiting for this all
day. I know I’d been thinking about moments like this with him
and with Karel all morning. Lars must have remembered that we
were standing in front of a church because he dropped his arms
and scooted back from me.
I laughed and thumped him on the chest. “See you
Wednesday. Be careful on that new ship.”
“Don’t fret your pretty little head over me.” Lars waved as he
strode away. “I’ll be fine.”
I adjusted my skirt, ran my hands over my bobbed hair, and
rushed back to Mama. She said her good-byes to her friends and
Father Raczynski as I approached and met me halfway across
the sidewalk.
“Everything is good?
Oui
?”
“Better than that. It’s wonderful!”
She clapped. “Then we can go?”
“I just want to be sure. There’s no mending to be done at
home?”
“I finished everything last night.” Mama flung her arms into
the air. “Do you not love this sunshine? We should stay out the
doors all day.”
Maybe I
had
left Mass with the wrong mother. “What’s with
you today, Mama?”
“All the time I sew and more sew.
Paaa!
It is too much!” She
dropped her raised arms. “We must stop work and play some time.
That is why you disobeyed me. Why you ran off. That and Karel.”
“What? How did you know?”
“I saw you two together that morning. Only for a moment,
but a Mama knows these things. I also know now that I could
lose you.” She crossed herself. “God has spared me that pain.
I will not forget.” She looped her arm through mine. “So? Ice
cream or a moving picture?”
Gruber’s Olde World Creamery would be for me and Karel.
And Fritz and Mae.
“The movies. You and me together all day.”