Edenbrooke (20 page)

I sagged with relief when Lady Caroline finally stood, signaling the end of dinner. For once I was grateful that the men always stayed behind in the dining room. I followed the other ladies into the hall. Cecily had her arm linked through Louisa’s and was whispering something in her ear. Lady Caroline stood to the side, letting everyone else pass, until I drew even with her. She rested her hand lightly on my shoulder and spoke quietly.

“You seem a little out of sorts tonight. Is there anything amiss?”

“I have had a headache. That is all.”

“Why did you not tell me? I would have taken care of you.” Lady Caroline turned me toward the stairs. “Come with me. You should be in your bed.”

In no time, she and Betsy had me changed into my nightgown, tucked me into bed, and sent for a cup of tea. Then Lady Caroline sat on my bed and bathed my forehead with lavender water. Her touch felt so motherly, and her eyes looked so kind and full of concern that I was overcome by a fierce longing for my own mother. I had told my heart to never cry over Philip, but I had given it no instructions about crying over my mother, my father, and the home and family I had lost. The tears spilled out so quickly I had no hope of calling them back. They ran down my temples, into my hair.

Lady Caroline handed me her handkerchief. “Do you want to talk about it?”

I shook my head. No, I absolutely did not want to talk about it.

“If you ever do—if you ever want to talk about anything, Marianne—I hope you will come to me.”

A knock sounded at the door. My traitorous heart, released a little from its bondage, dared to leap with hope. But when Betsy opened the door I saw that it was just a maid from the kitchen with the tea. After Lady Caroline and Betsy left, I chastised myself for loosening my hold on my heart at all. It did nonsensical things when it wasn’t tightly controlled, like hoping to see Philip standing outside my door. I sipped at the tea, but I had no taste for it. When I set the cup down on the tray, I noticed for the first time the book lying there.

It was the book of poetry I had started to read the day Philip had shown me the library. A piece of paper fell onto my lap when I opened the book.

I am sorry you are feeling unwell. I thought you might like something to help you pass the time.

He had not signed it, but he hadn’t needed to.

Tomorrow, I would be stronger, I told myself. Tomorrow, I would have better control over my heart. Tonight, I would indulge myself a little. I lay back against the pillows and turned to the first poem. My headache retreated and my heartache ebbed while I read the poetry Philip had sent me. I fell asleep with his note curled in my hand.

Chapter 17

Cecily came to my room early the next morning before breakfast. I sat at my writing desk, composing a letter to Grandmother. Betsy had not yet come up to help me with my hair, but I had to do something to stay busy so I would not think about Cecily and Philip and their morning ride together.

“I came to see how you’re feeling today,” Cecily said, sitting on my bed. “I’m sorry you were unwell last night! I would have come to see you myself, but I thought you would do better with some peace and quiet. And I know you don’t like to be the center of attention, so I want to set your mind at ease: we did not talk about you at all last night. We played whist, and Sir Philip was my partner, and he was so droll! I vow, I was laughing all night.”

I could easily believe that, considering how much she had laughed during dinner.

“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself,” I said, trying to make myself believe the words.

“I knew you would be happy for me. You always were an unselfish sister that way.” She lay back on my bed with a yawn. “That is why I didn’t bother inviting you to ride with us this morning. Of course, it did little good, since Sir Philip invited his brother to come with us. Still, any time with him is better than none.”

“Oh? You have already gone riding?” I tried to smile. “How did you like Meg?”

She frowned. “She was a bit spirited for my taste, but I was able to keep her in check. I think you must have given her too much freedom, though. When she belongs to me, I will make sure she is properly trained.”

I clenched the quill I was holding so hard it snapped in two. I dropped the pieces on the desk and stood to look out the window. I would accept Philip’s offer to trade my painting for Meg before I would let Cecily ruin that horse. She could find another horse—one that suited her better.

“I have wondered something,” Cecily said in a casual voice. “Why did you not write to me that Sir Philip was here, this whole time? If I had known, I would have come immediately.”

I turned from the window and looked at her in surprise. “What do you mean, you didn’t know?”

“I was told he was going on a trip.” She examined her fingernails. “It was rather sudden, from what I understood. That’s why I stayed in London, because there was nothing here to take me away from the amusement there. But if I had known he had cancelled his trip, I would have come to Edenbrooke immediately.”

I had no answers to give her. I realized how foolish I had been to never question Philip’s presence at the inn. Of course he must have been on his way to somewhere. It was one more mystery to add to his collection of secrets.

“I don’t know anything about his trip,” I said. “In fact, I must admit, Cecily, that I didn’t even know it was Sir Philip whom you referred to in your letters.”

She gave me a quizzical look. “How could you not know?”

I sat on the bed across from her, feeling nervous, and chose my words carefully. “It was the strangest thing, but I never heard him addressed by his title, and nobody told me that Sir Charles had died. I suppose everybody thought I knew. So I didn’t know that Sir Philip’s presence here would be significant at all to you.”

“Hmm.”

I did not like the speculative look she was giving me.

“What?” I asked, feeling defensive.

“I hope you will not have anything to regret,” she said.

I sat up straighter. “What do you mean?”

“You. And Sir Philip.”

I willed myself not to blush. “Nothing happened between Sir Philip and myself.”

She laughed. “No, I did not suppose anything had
happened.
But you would not be the first lady to fall for his charms.” She looked at me expectantly.

“He is, of course, very charming, but I knew all along he was a flirt, and so I was never in danger of taking him seriously. He has been a friend to me, and that is all.” I leaned forward and rested my hand on hers. “But, Cecily, even if I had been in danger, you should know that I am loyal to you, first and always.”

She smiled and squeezed my hand. “Of course, I know that. But I would hate to see you brokenhearted when Sir Philip offers for me.”

I looked down at the blanket and picked at a loose thread. “You seem very . . . optimistic. Has he . . . said something?”

“No, not yet, but I am certain it will not be long before he does. I know the signs of a man in love, and I have no doubt that Sir Philip is well on his way to falling in love with me, if he has not already.”

I bit the inside of my cheek as I struggled to keep my feelings in check. “Well, then,” I finally said, looking up with a weak smile, “I am sure it will be no time at all before you have won his heart and hand and everything else you want.”

“Do you really think so?”

“Yes.” It was the truth. Cecily had always gotten everything she wanted.

“Lady Cecily sounds so elegant, don’t you think?” She looked around the room with a sigh of pleasure. “And I have really chosen well, have I not? I doubt I have ever met a better combination of good looks and great wealth. Not to mention the estate. Of course, I will want to spend most of the year in London. I can’t imagine staying in the country after knowing the entertainment to be had in Town.” She glanced at me quickly. “And I am violently in love with him, you know.”

What could I possibly answer in return? I nodded and looked away from her happy face. My heart felt cold and heavy, and I wanted to sink onto my bed and stay there for at least a week.

“You seem very dull,” Cecily said, sitting up suddenly. “I think you need to get out of the house. Sir Philip said he has some business to attend to with his steward and he will likely be busy all morning, so Louisa and I are going to walk to Lamdon. You may come along. I am sure she won’t mind your company, and you will love her, I know.”

I hesitated, not sure if I wanted to spend the morning with Louisa, who had not been friendly at all to me last night. “If you’re sure . . .”

“Yes, of course.” She stood up and looked down at me. “You will do something about your hair, though, yes?”

I rolled my eyes. “No, I am going to walk to town looking like I just rolled out of bed.”

She laughed and ruffled my hair as if we were still children.

I could not help but smile in return. When she left, I sat at the writing desk to finish my letter with a new quill. The letter was to the point.

Dear Grandmother,

Here is what I have learned from Cecily so far: an elegant young lady should touch a man’s arm and laugh at everything he says. I suppose this is called flirting. I find it loud and annoying.

Sincerely,

Marianne

“Oh, look how charming your bonnet is,” Cecily said as I joined her and Louisa after breakfast. I carried my letter to Grandmother in my reticule, and I had allowed Betsy to fuss over my hair a little more than usual. I hoped to impress Louisa—or, at least, to not embarrass Cecily. “Isn’t it nice, Louisa?”

Louisa said nothing, but she didn’t look like she was about to go into raptures over my bonnet. Cecily linked one arm through Louisa’s, and the other through mine, and we set off in this manner for Lamdon, which was but a few miles away.

I looked past Cecily to ask Louisa, “Was this your first season as well?”

She nodded.

“How did you like it?”

“It was very diverting,” Louisa said. She looked at Cecily. “Do you remember the ball at Almack’s when Mr. Dalton—”

They burst out laughing. “And then Miss Hyde told him to—”

More laughing. I looked on and wished I knew what was so funny. “What happened?”

Cecily waved a hand. “Oh, I don’t think you would find it humorous. You would have to know the people involved.”

I nodded.

We walked on a few more steps, and then another laugh escaped from Cecily. “What was it that Lady Claremont said that night? Something about freckles—”

Louisa giggled. “Ruining a lady’s chances more than a tarnished reputation. And I quite agree. There is nothing so unattractive as a freckled face.”

I bit my lip as I thought of my own freckles, which had grown in number since I had been spending so much time out of doors. Hopefully Louisa would not notice them.

“I don’t know about that,” Cecily said. “I saw plenty of things more unattractive. Remember Mr. Baynes?”

Louisa shuddered. “How could I forget?”

They talked the entire way about the people they had met in London. It appeared my attempt to befriend Louisa had done no good at all. When we reached Lamdon, we stopped first at the post office, where I mailed my letter to Grandmother.

“You know you can just ask Philip to frank that for you next time,” Louisa said.

I knew that. But I liked having my own money to spend, and something to spend it on. I liked not being dependent on someone for everything. It satisfied the demands of my pride a little.

Cecily announced that she had to buy some new ribbon for a bonnet she was trimming, so we found the ribbon shop and started browsing. She picked three ribbons, all different shades of blue, and turned to me.

“Which do you think?” She held them up to her face, opening her eyes wide. “Which most closely matches my eyes?”

I looked at the three colors and secretly thought that it didn’t make a difference which shade of blue she chose. But knowing that wasn’t the answer she was looking for, I said, “That one. The darkest one.”

She looked at it, her brow wrinkled. “Really? Because I did not think my eyes were quite this dark. But this other color has a touch of green in it, which I don’t have in my eyes at all. Louisa, what do you think?”

“Definitely not that one,” she said, pointing to the one I had chosen.

Cecily put it down immediately. I tried not to care. It was just a ribbon, for heaven’s sake. But there was a time when my opinion would have been the only one that mattered to Cecily. I turned my attention from them and stood in the doorway, looking out into the street.

I was in this attitude of bored surveillance when I spied a familiar-looking figure across the street. He lifted his hat to me in recognition and I reeled back in surprise. I imagined I could see the smirk on the Nefarious Nephew’s face, even at this distance. I thought of backing up and shutting the door, but it was too late. He had seen me and was crossing the street, languidly swinging his walking cane as he did.

“Good morning, cousin,” Mr. Kellet said, bowing a little and looking very pleased with himself.

I frowned at him. “What are you doing here?”

He waved at the general surroundings. “Visiting this charming town. What are you doing here?”

I gestured just as nonchalantly at the ribbon shop. “Shopping for ribbon.”

“Alone?” he asked with a glint in his eye that worried me. It worried me that he was here at all, actually. I could not believe he had chosen, by coincidence, to come to Lamdon on a whim. Was it paranoid of me to suspect that I was the reason he was here? Had he followed me from Bath?

“No, I am not alone,” I said, nodding toward the inside of the shop.

Mr. Kellet stepped toward me, and I was forced to either retreat into the shop or come in closer contact with him than I wanted to. I stepped inside and he followed me, his eyes darting around the room. They rested on Cecily, who stood at the counter with her ribbons, her back to us. She turned just then with her purchase and walked toward us, Louisa trailing behind her. When her gaze landed on Mr. Kellet, Cecily’s eyes widened, and a self-satisfied smile turned up her lips before she pressed it down.