Edge of Time (Langston Brothers Series) (9 page)

Genie was biting her lip fighting obvious convulsions of laughter, a few of the patients snickered, and Craig, who’d finally emerged from hiding, cracked his first smile of the day.
God!
She would have to be more careful in the future. People in 1863
—
especially women
—
didn’t curse in polite society. “Oops,” she tried to smile sweetly as a rumble of laughter rolled through the room.

Her cheeks had never felt so hot. Damn! She’d blundered yet again. It was near impossible to successfully check her speech every time an improper word or phrase came to her lips. She’d only lived in this time for a matter of days! How long before people came to believe her mad, totally unfit for polite society, or both?

“Would you like me to look at your finger?” Craig’s blue eyes twinkled with good humor as he strolled casually over, reaching for her hand. Her flush deepened impossibly. “That sounded like it hurt.”

“It did hurt,” she snapped, tucking the sore finger beneath her apron, “and I’ll have you know I don’t always swear like that.”
Not true
, she swore quite a bit more than her mother would have liked. But she came from a time where the use of profanity was more publicly acceptable. “Dr. Langston,” she took a steadying breath. “Why did you have Charlie Tanner’s wound debrided?”

He shrugged.
“For three weeks the kid has done nothing but get worse. At this point I’m willing to try anything.”

She nodded, hoping the treatment she’d suggested would
have the desired effect.
“Craig,” she said a bit more timidly
.
“I wanted to apologize for everything I said yesterday about the hospital.”

His shoulder’s visibly sagged as he t
urned his back to her.
“Don’t worry about it, Marissa.”

Now she
really
felt like an ass.

The day seemed to last an eternity but eventually evening closed in around them and she dropped wearily onto the floor. The floors fairly gleamed, and every soldier had been supplied clean linens and a fresh washbasin. She couldn’t remember a time when she had felt so physically exhausted. Work in the Emergency Room had always been difficult and challenging but a great deal of that had been thinking work, mentally exhausting; what she had done today bordered on the realm of backbreaking. Her muscles would be screaming tomorrow.

A tingling at the nape of her neck signaled Dr. Langston’s approached.
Tingling?
That couldn’t be good.

The exhausted doctor sank to the floor beside her and leaned his head against the wall with a dull thump. Turning, Marissa took a moment to study the man who’d occupied her mind so much throughout
the day. Tension and sorrow
etched deep lines in his handsome features
,
but despite that, he looked so young… and completely defeated that Marissa could not help but open her heart to this man. She ached for him.

Without a word, she reached out and laced gentle, if soap-roughened
,
fingers through his.

As though pulled from a trance Craig locked soft, pained eyes with hers. A question seemed to skim the surface of those crisp sapphire gems and for the briefest instant
Marissa thought he would
speak. But it was in silence that he gazed at her so intently he must be able to read her most intimate thoughts and fears.
It’s as if he can
look directly into my soul
. The sensation was unsettling to say the least
,
but she could not tear her eyes away. This man seemed to
need
her. Could it be that it wasn’t only the injured in need of healing?

“What is it about you?” he asked quietly. “In one moment I think I could throttle you, and in the next I want... something else altogether.”

“Craig, I...”

He shook his head as if forbidding her to go on, then seemingly embarrassed he rose hastily to his feet and cleared his throat. “Thank you,” he said
briskly
, averting his gaze as he gestured about the hospital. “You’ve really whipped this place into shape. I’m impressed. I... I hope you’ll return. We could certainly use you around here on a regular basis.”

Marissa smiled warmly and accepted his hand as he assisted her to her feet. “Don’t worry. I’ll be back. It’s nice to feel like I’m doing some good.”

“Your aunt said you’d be staying at Carolyn Reed’s house tonight. May I walk you home?” The endearingly awkward, almost boyishly nervous quality of his voice made her lips curve
into a pleased smile.

S
he inclined her head
. “That would be very nice.”

T
he agony of the day seemed to melt away from his features.
“Shall we?”

As they exited the building, Craig took her hand and pulled it through the crook of his arm. Marissa couldn’t keep a warm blush from infusing her cheeks.

“How’s the finger?” he asked.

She shrugged and glanced toward her still throbbing finger. The wounded digit seemed to sum up the whole of her existence at the moment. “As well as can be expected.” She wond
ered if medical personnel in 186
3 used that particular phrase when they didn’t want to say anything more truthful.

“But what about you? Are you feeling better after this morning?”

The strong line of his jaw hardened and a chilling blankness blocked his feelings from her.

“I’m sorry, Craig. I shouldn’t have asked.” If she could have sucked the words b
ack from the air she would have.
“I didn’t mean to upset you, but you know it isn’t your fault Billy died.”

“What would you know about it? It is my fault. I couldn’t save him.” A muscle worked testily in his jaw and the anguish
in his voice ripped at her soul.
“He was my youngest brother’s best friend and when I brought him home I swore to his mother I wouldn’t let anything happen to him. I swore to her that I would keep him safe but
—
” His voice cracked and he looked away,
dropping
her hand from his elbow as he turned. “There must have been something else I could’ve done. Something I missed.” His hands raised in a futile gesture. “Now I have to go and face Mrs. Cole.”

“We
all have
patients die, Craig. I can’t count the number of times I’ve wondered what more could’ve been done, especially when working with children, but sometimes it just doesn’t matter. Sometimes bad things happen and there is no rhyme or reason for it.” They paused side by side on a street corner silently watching a wagon rattle down the cobbled street. Quietly she offered, “Would you like me to come with you to see Mrs. Cole, for moral support?”

Craig look
ed thoughtful for a long moment.
“How much medical experience did you say you have?”

“
A little o
ver four years, but that is beside the point.” She waved dismissively. “Do you want moral support when you see Mrs. Cole or not?”

He
shook his head.
“No. This is something I need to do myself. I just dread having to face her. I failed her.”

“I understand,” Marissa said softly, and she did. “Feel free to stop by later if you need to talk.”
What possessed me to say that?
I’m supposed to be avoiding exposure to this time
—
and to this man.
This certainly wasn’t helping her to get home.

“Thank you.”

Suddenly Marissa realized they were standing outside Carolyn’s house and Craig was gazing down at her, intensity radiating from his eyes. Gently he reached out and tipped her chin with his fingers. For a moment Marissa thought he was going to kiss her.
I want him to kiss me
!
But just as the
aught
in her throat he backed away. A strange mixture of relief and disappointment filled her as she stood watching his departing back.

What had gotten into her?