Edsel Grizzler (13 page)

‘Your Desire?' Richard still had a firm grip on Edsel's hand. ‘No, not yet. You mightn't really know for a while. That's one decision you definitely shouldn't rush. Take the full week to think about it. But as of this moment, you're Here. You are an integral part of Verdada, and we thank you. We're your family now.'

And it was only the knowledge that his parents were in some kind of unable-to-be-understood almost-infinitieth dimension limbo that made that statement sting with less guilt than Edsel might have expected it to.

Some time later, he was back in the turret at the top of the Hub, but this time it was Ben sitting opposite him, while Bob lay on the floor, with his fluffy head resting on Edsel's foot.

Ben had a notebook computer on his lap. Just above the keyboard was a row of small squares made up of dots, which rose and fell in different combinations to represent letters, over which Ben's chubby fingers scurried. It was incredible to watch, and once or twice Ben had needed to remind Edsel to concentrate on what he was meant to be learning rather than gawping at the way he used the Braille display.

They'd been there for over an hour, and Edsel was beginning to feel more comfortable with the process. Every minute or so the top of the chest between them would open and an object would rise up on the platform. The latest was a pair of sunglasses.

‘My dad lost some of these the other day,' Edsel said.

‘Your what?'

‘My dad. My father.'

‘Don't do that,' Ben said. ‘You've got to try not to link the objects you deal with back to your old life.'

‘Why?'

‘It'll just make you homesick.'

‘Or Heresick.'

‘What?'

‘Nothing,' Edsel said.

‘Has Jacq been talking to you?'

‘What do you mean?'

‘She has, hasn't she? Look, you shouldn't pay too much attention to her.'

‘Okay,' Edsel said, perhaps a little too quickly. ‘What's her story, anyway? And what's with the helmet? She never takes it off.'

‘Look, it's not up to me to tell you her story.'

‘Fair enough. So tell me yours instead,' Edsel said, leaning forward.

Ben frowned. ‘Why are you so interested in everyone's stories?'

‘I just am. I'm curious.'

‘You don't need to keep asking people about why they're here. It just makes you seem … I don't know … nosey. Come on, we need to keep moving. Tell me about these sunglasses.'

Edsel picked them up and turned them over in his hands. Then he swiped the reader he'd been given past the barcode and read the screen. These were just ordinary, moderately expensive sunglasses, lost by someone called Dale, and last seen in the glovebox of his sports car. There was nothing too complicated about …

‘I don't think there's anything too complicated about this one,' Ben said.

‘How come you know what I'm thinking?' Edsel asked.

Ben sat back and smiled. ‘I've done this so many times now that I can pretty much predict what you're going to say next. That's all. Plus, blind people often develop their other senses more than non-blind people. Some end up being better at hearing, others can smell better, and I suppose I just turned out to be good at reading people, and guessing what they're going to say next.'

‘So that was a guess?'

‘Pretty much,' Ben replied, nodding.

‘Is that what you chose?'

‘You want to know if my Desire was the ability to read people over my ability to read words?'

‘I suppose that's what I'm asking,' Edsel answered cautiously. ‘Did you?'

‘I told you yesterday, that's a long story.'

‘I don't think I'm going anywhere.'

‘Which means there'll be plenty of time to hear the story later.'

‘Or to do the training. Come on, tell me the short version.'

Ben shook his head. ‘What are you going to do with those sunglasses, Robert?'

E
dsel was in the Common Room with Ben and Jacq, and some of the other bigger kids. He'd just told them about his decision to stay in Verdada permanently, and they were congratulating him. And it felt strange. Best of all, they didn't seem to be pretending to be excited – they seemed genuinely happy that he'd decided to stay. It made him feel popular, and with the exception of the little kids back in West Malaise going all hyper about a pretend spaceship and a helmet covered with cooking foil, he'd never felt popular before.

‘I can remember when I decided to stay,' one boy was saying.

‘I can't,' a girl added.

‘Of course you do. Remember how you cried for that whole week, and on the last day you stopped, and said you were staying?'

‘I didn't cry!'

‘Yes, you did!'

‘You did,' said a second girl. ‘I remember it because I was sharing a room with you, and you kept me awake with your sniffing and stuff.'

‘I don't think I'll cry,' Edsel said. ‘I'm really happy. I'm not going to get homesick. In fact, I can hardly even remember what home was like.' As he finished the sentence, he saw Jacq watching him from the side of the room, with her arms folded.

‘So, Robert, when will you sort your first crate?' asked a boy with skin so black it almost appeared blue. Raised welts crossed both his cheeks, and ran down his arms from under his sleeves.

‘Tomorrow. I can't wait, to be honest. It should be fun.'

‘That's very good,' the boy said, in a lilting voice that seemed unusually deep for someone so young. ‘You will have a very enjoyable week, I am sure.'

‘Thanks. What's your name again? Sorry, I forget names—'

‘Kasep.'

‘Kasep. I'll try to remember it.'

‘And I'm Hashim,' said his friend, whose skin was dark, but nowhere near as black as Kasep's.

‘Hashim and Kasep,' Edsel repeated. ‘I'll learn your names, I promise.'

Gradually the kids began to drift away, until the only one left was Jacq, still sitting on the arm of a chair.

‘I might not be the brightest kid in the world – or in Verdada – but I don't think I'd have done that,' she said, shaking her head slowly.

‘Done what?'

‘Just come out and agreed to stay on your second day. I mean, you haven't even done a crate yet.'

Edsel shrugged. ‘It felt good to make a decision. Any way, everyone was telling me what a great place this is. So I trusted them.'

‘Why would you do something stupid like that?'

‘So what are you telling me, Jacq – that I shouldn't have agreed to stay?'

‘No, I'm glad you're staying. We've only known one another for a day or so, but I think I'd miss you if you went back. But to just jump in like that …' She shook her head again, smiling wryly. ‘I still can't believe it.'

‘Well, believe it. Do you want a game of table tennis? To celebrate?'

Jacq stood up. ‘Sure, if that's how you like to celebrate.'

The games room was empty, so they put some music on, then chose the table nearest the window, where the natural light was best. Edsel had never been terribly good at table tennis, but he found now that he was better than he'd expected to be. Except in a way, he
did
expect to be. And feeling like he could do something new and be good enough to enjoy it made him immediately glad of the decision he'd made, even if a nagging thought told him that Jacq might have been right.

‘I want to ask you something, Jacq,' he said as the little white ball lobbed back and forth between them.

‘Sure, what is it?'

‘The Mira.'

‘What about them?'

‘Who are they? The Charter doesn't say very much.'

Jacq caught the ball. ‘You don't need to know.'

‘Just because I don't need to know doesn't mean I can't
want
to know.'

‘I guess that's true.'

‘So who are they?'

Jacq served. ‘I don't know. I've never met them.'

‘How many of them are there?' Edsel asked, hitting the ball back.

‘I don't know.'

‘Does anyone?'

‘Sure, I guess. Richard probably knows.'

‘Yeah, and what's Richard's story?'

Jacq swung but missed the ball as Edsel's shot just caught the edge of the table. ‘I haven't got a clue, I doubt I'll ever find out, and in the end, what does it matter?'

‘It doesn't, I guess. But he seems nice.'

‘Richard? He
is
nice.'

‘But I find Man a bit weird, to be honest.'

‘Man's harmless. You see him around, but he's just there to deliver messages and that kind of thing.'

Edsel changed the subject slightly. ‘You know, Richard said I didn't need to choose my Desire just yet. Cool, huh?'

‘Sensible, I'd have said. Do you have any idea what it's going to be?' she asked, serving again.

‘Not really. I haven't really even thought about it. I mean, what kind of things do people choose?'

Jacq stopped and stared at him, as the ball bounced past her and landed on the floor. ‘You haven't even
thought
about it? But you've agreed to stay?'

‘Yes. Why? What's wrong with that?'

‘Because most people know what they want before they say they'll hang around!'

‘Well, what do they choose?' he asked again.

‘Let's ask these two,' she said as Kasep and Hashim wandered into the room with milkshakes in tall metal cups, and sat down at a low table to play checkers. ‘Kasep, what did you choose when you arrived?'

‘Should we be …'

‘It's okay,' she said.

‘What was my Desire? I chose to stay,' Kasep replied. ‘That was what I wished for, and by staying, that is what I got.'

‘Me too,' Hashim added. ‘My Desire was to remain here. I like it here very much.'

‘All right, and what did you want?' Edsel asked Jacq.

‘It's kind of personal, and I'd rather not say.'

‘Okay, but did you get it?'

‘It's hard to know. It's kind of complicated. But the thing is, I knew at the very beginning. So did Ben, and so did most of the others here. We all knew before we agreed to stay.'

Edsel placed the bat on the table and sank into one of the deep, soft armchairs. ‘The thing is, what I
think
I want seems … well, kind of lame.'

Jacq sat down opposite him. ‘What is it? I'll tell you if it's lame or not.'

‘I think I just want to be able to do stuff.'

Jacq waited. Then, when Edsel didn't say anything else for a while, she asked him, ‘Any particular stuff or just
stuff
?'

‘Normal things, I guess. You know, like other kids do. Go and stay at friends' places, stay outside after the sun's gone down, sleep with the window open without worrying about catching pneumonia, eat food made by someone other than my mother without worrying about it poisoning me. Is that weird?'

Jacq smiled. ‘The things you've just told me, or wanting to be free of those things?'

‘The second one.'

She shook her head. ‘I don't think it's weird. But I wouldn't put that down as your Heart's Greatest Desire. Not until you're totally sure, anyway. Another game?'

Edsel stood up. ‘Sure,' he said, picking up his bat. ‘I'm getting good at this table tennis business.'

Edsel awoke easily again the following day, and was showered and dressed even before Toby was out of bed. After a breakfast of banana pancakes and a chocolate milkshake, he and Jacq went to the noticeboard near the front door of the Domus to see where he'd be working for his first day sorting.

He started at the
Gs,
looking for Grizzler. He wasn't there.

‘It's alphabetical,' Jacq said.

‘I know that! And I'm telling you, there's no Grizzler!'

‘Isn't your last name Armandine?'

He smiled. She was right, and once he started looking under the As, he found his name. And beside it was written
E15 – Computer Games.

‘Have a great time,' Jacq said. ‘We can meet up afterwards and do something fun.'

‘Sounds good,' he replied, trying to sound confident, and failing.

‘Don't be nervous,' she said. ‘It's a piece of cake.'

It wasn't hard to find the cubicle with
E15
beside the door. He was the first one there, and he sat down in one of the three chairs and waited. And while he waited, he looked around. Bright morning light poured in through the glass roof of the hall, and he could hear kids chattering in the adjoining cubicles. He saw a boy he recognised in the space directly across the hall and waved. It felt good to interact with someone; it distracted him and took away some of the nerves. It hadn't been until he'd woken up that he'd properly realised what he'd done. And yet it was done, and it was time to get on with things.

Each of the three chairs in the cubicle had a barcode scanner attached to it, identical to the one he'd trained with. A conveyor ran along past the chairs, and three large plastic crates were on the floor, one beside each of the chairs. The crate with Robert Armandine's name on the lid was beside one of the other chairs, and not wanting to screw things up any more than he probably would on his first day, he switched seats, and waited some more.

A few minutes later two boys walked in. He'd seen them around, but he couldn't remember their names. ‘Hi,' he said. ‘I'm Robert.'

‘The new guy?' asked one of the boys.

‘That's me. It's my first day.'

‘I'm Kane, and this is Lincoln. And you've got a fun one to start with. Computer games are my favourite.'

‘Mine too,' said Lincoln, who was a little younger than Kane, and he swivelled back and forth in his chair. ‘Oo, here we go,' he said as a buzzer sounded overhead.

‘What do we do?'

‘Have you typed your code into your scanner?'

‘Not yet.'

‘Well, do that, then open your box and start,' Kane told him. ‘As soon as your crate is done, you can go.'

Lincoln already had his crate open, and had finished processing the game in the first box before Edsel had even remembered his code. Lincoln's scanner went
beep
as he entered his recommendation, then the lid went back on the box and the box went on the conveyor.

‘So I should start?' Edsel asked.

‘Unless you want to sit here for the rest of the day,' Kane replied.

Taking a deep, nervous breath, Edsel lifted the lid off his crate and took out his first box. He scanned the code on the lid with his scanner, and read the words on the screen.

Games: Space Predators II

Platform: Super Gaming Console (SGC)

Owner: David Farley

David recently updated his gaming console, and wishes to trade in some of his old SGC games so he can get a new game for his SGC2. He has three games available to trade
in, but needs to find this copy of Space Predators II to make up the four titles needed for the trade-in. He remembers seeing it in his brother's room.

Edsel smiled. An easy one to start, he thought, and he confidently pressed the
Return to place last seen, pending steps retraced
option. The scanner beeped, and he placed the box on the conveyor.

‘Don't forget to have a look inside the box,' Kane said. ‘I mean, it's usually okay, but sometimes there are surprises.' A smile crossed his face. ‘Once I recommended a book be returned to its owner, because he wanted to read it, and kids should read books, right?'

‘I guess so,' Edsel agreed.

Kane smiled and shook his head. ‘Not this book,' he said. ‘I mean, the title was on my screen and everything, but …'

‘There were two possible meanings for that title?'

‘That's right,' Kane said, nodding. ‘I'm sure it's fine, but just check inside the box. What something is supposed to be and what it actually turns out to be can be very different.'

‘I'll make sure I check,' Edsel promised. ‘And what happens if I can't decide?'

‘Don't worry about it. Just mark it to be re-evaluated later.'

‘Let someone else worry about it?'

Kane shrugged. ‘What else would you do?'

‘I suppose you're right.'

‘I am right. Get through your crate, and get out of here.'

The next item he picked up was a CD game for an older kind of computer. The person who'd lost it was a writer, who was putting off finishing a book he was working on. He wanted to reinstall the game so he wouldn't have to do any of his writing, and Edsel felt a small shiver of power when he pressed the
Retain and store for later reevaluation
. That writer was going to finish that book, and no outdated PC version of a Formula One driving game was going to get in the way.