âYou know something; I feel I could almost like you. You must have some balls, coming in here and talking to me like this.'
I ignored him.
âIs there anything else you can tell me? The smallest detail might be useful,' I said.
He pondered the papyrus and the black star.
âHere in Thebes we are at the end of a long process, a long journey, a chain of many connected businesses. This has never been efficient, but it was always necessary. But it seems to me somehow this gang must have solved that problem. I don't know how, but I believe they control the whole process from supply to delivery. Perhaps you should think about that. Think about where the chain begins, as well as where it ends.'
âAnd where is that?'
He smiled.
âNorth.'
âEveryone knows the opium crop is grown in the badlands between Egypt and the Hittite Empire. So perhaps Canaan? Amurru? Qadesh?' I said, thinking of the territories that Egypt had struggled to control during the long stalemate of the Hittite wars.
âI will repeat to you one word, which I hear, coming down to me from far, far away.'
He beckoned me closer.
â
Obsidian
. It isâ'
âI know what obsidian is. It is the material of looking glasses, and our sharpest knives.' I interrupted.
Then I remembered the masterful butchery of the decapitations. What if the killer had used an obsidian knife?
âObsidian is a
name
,' he said quietly. I looked at him, hoping for more.
The man stood up. Something in his gaunt face had suddenly changed. He was dangerous again.
âYou should go now. But I will be watching you. So don't think you can just walk away from this. Do your part. Or else I will show you what happened to our boys could happen to you, too.'
And with that, he screwed up the papyrus with the black star, grinned and swallowed it. And then swiftly he turned, and slashed his knife across the throat of Dedu, the waiting Nubian boy. Dedu gurgled on his own blood, and then his body collapsed at my feet.
The Nubian wiped his knife over my cheeks so that the hot blood trickled down.
âYou are already deep in blood. Remember that.'
I had never seen Nakht lost for speech. I had just finished recounting the facts of Khety's death. He embraced me lightly, and patted me on the shoulderâwhich surprised me, for he was not given to displays of emotion or intimacy, and he rarely tolerated physical contact. We stood like that, uncertainly, for a moment, and then moved apart, awkwardly. We were in the reception chamber on the first floor of the mansion. It gave on to the courtyard, where his caged birds trilled and water trickled along the crisscross of stone channels that fed the plants.
âAt the times when we most need language to express our feelings, it fails us,' he said.
âSilence is fine,' I replied, curtly. âWhat is there to say?'
He glanced at me, but I was in no mood to apologize or modify my behaviour. He went to a tray, and poured us wine into two handsome goblets. He offered me a place on the inlaid couch, and we sat.
âI suspect you are intent upon some sort of revenge, in response to this dreadful tragedy?'
âAnd?' I said.
âLet me counsel you. In moments such as this, we are inclined to allow the animal aspect of our natures to take control. It is a mistake.'
âWhy?' I demanded.
âBecause revenge can destroy a man as surely as the plague. It seems like a god, so pure and true, and full of its sense of justice and entitlement. But it is truly a monster. It feeds perpetually upon its own pain, and upon any pain it can find. And it can never be satisfied until everything has been destroyed utterly.'
âAnd how would you know?' I snapped.
There was a nasty moment of silence between us. His topaz eyes gazed at me, detached. Sometimes arguing with him was like trying to punch water. It made no difference. And he knew I wanted a fight, and he was not going to give it to me.
âDeath makes us strangers to ourselves,' he offered, by way of reconciliation.
He rose, and walked away, to look out of the doorway at the beautiful private world of his home.
âYou are right, of course; I know little of grief. I have been fortunate in that respect. Fate has been kind to me. One cannot trust it, of course. We are all vulnerable to misfortune,' he said.
âThis was not misfortune. It was murder. And I'm going to track them down and thenâ'
âYes, and then what?' Nakht interrupted, sitting down beside me again. âI suppose you thought I would support and encourage you in your righteous revenge? Now that tragedy has struck you personally, in an instant you forget all your values, and indulge yourself in the barbarity of blood,' he continued, gazing at me, unblinking, with his hawk's eyes.
I had had enough. I drained the wine, then rose and walked to the door, to leave. He followed me, and gently placed his hand on my shoulder to stop me.
âPlease sit down, my friend. I'm truly sorry for your loss. I understand. You are trying to make his death into something meaningful. That is right and proper. But you must focus your anger and grief better.'
âHow?' I said, desperately.
âDo not indulge yourself in a self-pitying, self-gratifying revenge. More than likely you would simply end up dead as well. And think, too, about the cost of your actions to those who love you dearly. I, for one, could not bear to lose you,' he said.
I remained standing, silent, baffled by the chaos of my feelings and the pain that found me everywhere.
Nakht calmly led me back to the couch, and I sat down again, like a child.
âThere is another way to think about this as well,' he added.
âAnd what's that?'
âYou are lucky indeed to have had such a friend, to mourn his loss so deeply. Would he want you to indulge yourself in this display of blame and revenge? I doubt it,' he said.
I didn't want to modify the intensity of my bitterness. I didn't want to listen to these philosophical arguments. He saw my frustration, and continued: âI hope that were I to die, you would do the same for me. You would make my death meaningful by remembering me. By taking me to the tomb in honour and love. That is what the dead ask of their friends,' he said.
As we sat together, in the sunlight that slanted into the room, I thought about his words. For a moment, it even seemed possible. I swore then that if I returned to Thebes alive, I would lay Khety to rest in his tomb with my own hands, with all the rites. But first I would have my revenge.
âWhen do we leave for the Hittite capital?' I asked.
Nakht glanced at me warily.
âUnder the circumstances, I doubt you are fully equipped to deal with the severe demands of the mission,' he said.
But I had to persuade him of my fitness to undertake the quest. It now offered me an exceptional chance to investigate the start of the opium trade in the north, and then to trace it back to Thebes, and perhaps to âObsidian' himself. Something told me I would never find him if I stayed in the city. I would have to track him in the sands of the wastelands beyond Egypt's borders. But I would find him.
âOnly yesterday the Queen commanded me to attend you as your bodyguard, and I will obey. You also gave me strong inducements and incentives. And you promised me my family would be safe in your house. Is it not better that I leave Thebes? If I stayed, I would have no peace until I found Khety's killer.'
His topaz eyes considered me.
âOur mission is of vital national importance. Nothing can be allowed to compromise the achievement of our goals,' he said. âI will not tolerate anything less than your complete commitment. If at any time I consider your emotional state to be a problem, I will send you home immediately. No one is irreplaceable. Not even you. Is that understood?'
âI understand,' I replied.
I felt a shadow pass between us. For a long moment I thought he was going to refuse me. But then he rose and embraced me formally, briefly, and without great warmth.
âThen you had better tell Tanefert and the children. We leave tomorrow.'
I walked up the lane to the gate of my house. I nodded respectfully to the little statuette of the household God in his niche, and for once asked for his blessing. Inside, the girls were sitting together on the floor, Sekhmet working on a papyrus roll, studying medicine, writing fluidly, the others trying to copy her with their own brushes. As soon as I walked in they ran over, and threw themselves around me, crying for Khety. Tanefert must have told them. I smoothed their hair, and dried their tears.
âI'm so sorry,' I said.
They nodded, and sniffed, and it was a relief to comfort them and share their sorrow.
âCome, let us eat dinner together,' I said.
I made an effort to talk, and not to fall into the silence of grief about Khety's death. While the girls cleaned the dishes in the yard, I beckoned Tanefert into our sleeping room. The girls looked at us curiously, knowing something was up, so I waved them away, and drew the curtain across to give us some privacy. Tanefert assumed I needed to talk to her about Khety.
âHow are you, my love?' she asked, putting her arms around me.
I kissed her. She gazed at my face. And then she pulled away slightly.
âSomething else has happened, hasn't it?' she asked.
I hesitated. I had to speak now.
âI have been dismissed from the Medjay.'
Her expression darkened with despair, and she put her face into her hands.
âOh noâ¦'
âBut I've had a new offer of work. It's a very good offer,' I began, placing the little bag of gold in her hands.
She fixed me with one of her famous stares.
âIf it were good news, you would not need to talk like this, nor would you bribe me with gold,' she countered. âWhere did you get this? And what have you done to earn it?'
âLet me finish,' I replied. She sighed, and nodded.
âNakht has offered me work. Not just as a bodyguard. Not only will I be handsomely rewarded with more gold, but he has also promised me something much more important. He will promote me. If we are successful, I will take over Nebamun's post. I would be Chief of the Medjay.'
Her eyes were taking everything in, every half-truth, every nuance, every uncertain justification and assertion in my voice.
âNakht is a very powerful man, but such a promise must carry with it a heavy price,' she said.
âYes.'
âSo tell me,' she urged. âI can't stand it when you don't tell me everything.'
âI must accompany him on a long journey. And I cannot tell you where I am going, or when I will be back.'
Her eyes were blazing. I thought she was going to slap me.
âYou promised me you would never leave us again. You promised!'
And then she threw the bag of gold down, walked out of the room, and disappeared into the yard.
I picked up the bag of gold and placed it carefully on the couch. My world had collapsed in a day. I went into the kitchen, where the girls and Amenmose were waiting, agog.
âWhat's wrong?' asked Sekhmet.
âStop asking questions,' I snapped, and sat down at the end of the table. Sekhmet was shocked into silence. Amenmose's lower lip was quivering, a prelude to a drama of tears and recriminations. I whisked him into my lap and kissed his face.
âCome here. Don't cry. I need you all to help me.'
My son considered his options, and then nodded, deciding curiosity was better than crying.
The others gathered closer.
âYour Uncle Nakht and I have to go away on a long journey, and while I'm away I need you to take great care of your mother.'
The two younger girls instantly set up a howl of grief, begging me not to leave them. Only Sekhmet reacted differently.
âWhere are you going, Father?' she asked.
âI can't tell you exactly. But we're going all the way to the northern sea, and then even further north.'
Her eyes widened.
âIf you are going with Uncle Nakht, then you must be going on very important official business,' she said. âIs it to do with the wars?'
âI can't tell you. But it's very important and secret. So you must not tell anyone. Do you promise?' She nodded, her eyes shining, excited to be a conspirator in the great adventure. I put my arm around her, held her close, and kissed her brow.
âClever girl. I need you to look after your sisters, and your brother, and your mother.'
She nodded. âI'm an adult now, Father. You can rely on me.'
âI know I can.' I stroked her hair. I adored her self-belief.
âNo wonder Mother didn't take this well,' she said. âYou did promise never to go away again.' And she glanced at me sideways.
âI did promise. And I wouldn't break that promise unless it was extremely important for me to do so. There is more at stake than I can explain. But I want the world to be safe for you. And that's why I'm going.'