Authors: Amber L Johnson
“Stay with me tonight?” she asked against my mouth.
“And tomorrow night?” I grinned and pulled away, searching her eyes.
She squeezed her eyes shut. “Oh my God. My date.”
“You’re not going, are you?” I dropped my hands from her face and scowled.
She opened and closed her mouth, trying to spit out words but coming up with nothing but air.
“Are you fucking kidding me right now?”
“I . . .”
“Jesus. Good night, Gwen.”
Without another glance, I opened the door and left her where she stood.
Chapter 14
I Want To Tell You
I waited on the stairs, contemplating whether or not to go back and confront her. To make her explain exactly why she’d asked me to stay with her and in the same breath entertained the idea of going on a date with someone else.
It had to be done. She owed me an explanation. I pushed up off the stairs and slammed through the garage door with the force of my anger.
Gwen was crouched in front of the Hyundai, holding on to the bumper, her head pressed between her thighs as she gasped for air and wept.
Everything I’d wanted to say was forgotten. I ran to her and wrapped my arms around her before she went limp. Her eyes fell shut, and her arms hung at her sides. I stared at her, my eyes wide, then lifted her up.
I carried her downstairs and laid her on my bed. There was nothing sexy about pulling her dress from her unconscious body or slipping one of my T-shirts over her head and arms to tug it down over her thighs before tucking her in. Afterward, I changed out of my suit and waited on the couch, staring at the darkened bedroom.
It felt like time stood still.
When she made a sound, I crept to the bedroom doorway and waited while she came to. She sat up and looked around, and I cleared my throat, hiding my relief.
“I came back to talk to you,” I said softly, inching toward her. “I got there right when you hyperventilated.”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. She pressed her face to her hands and exhaled through her fingers. “I don’t know how to explain this to you. I haven’t had a panic attack in a long time. I forgot how scary they are.”
I took another step closer. “I’m listening.”
“I was thinking about you, and my date, and the kids. I was thinking that in a perfect world, you and I could be together and the only repercussions would be on us if it ended. But we’re not the only ones involved in this.” She closed her eyes and sniffed. “I’m messed up in my head. I’m really confused.”
I sat on the edge of the bed, my forehead creased. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“I don’t like talking about my feelings a lot. I find it difficult to get it out. My mom says it shows weakness.”
I took a deep breath and scooted closer to her, nudging her toward the middle so I could prop myself up against the headboard. “I have never been more confused by someone in my entire life,” I said, running my hands over my face.
The only sounds were our breathing and the ticking of my alarm clock while we sat, rigid and unmoving, staring off into the blackness. My mind was turning in circles, the good part of me asking to be patient, to give it time.
“I’m going on the date tomorrow because I like you,” she said.
I turned to look at her. “How does that make sense to you? Because it makes absolutely zero sense to me.”
“I don’t know how you feel about me or this situation, but I don’t want to screw up what you have going with the kids. If I had to make a choice, I’d rather you be here for
them
. But I won’t lie and say I’m not thinking about you naked.”
“And what if I think about you like that, too?”
She blushed. “Then we’re both sexually frustrated until we figure this thing out.” She patted my palm. “Do you know what
you
want?”
“If wanting you involves the kids getting hurt, I’m just as confused as you are, I think.”
“We shouldn’t stop our lives while we’re in this in-between. That’s why I have the date. Tess set me up with one of her friends because we were talking at lunch the other day and I told her that I think that I’m . . .”
“You think you’re what?”
She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. What matters is I’m in a really weird place right now, and I don’t want to do the wrong thing for the wrong reasons. You told me not to lie, and I’m being as honest as I can be right now.”
I nudged toward her again and wrapped my fingers around her hand. “So you have to go on dates. Does that mean you’re cool with me seeing other girls?”
“I guess I have to be. It wouldn’t be fair for me to date and leave you to sit on the sidelines.”
The ache in my heart grew tenfold.
“But it’s okay to do this?” I asked, nuzzling my nose into her neck and kissing the sensitive skin by her collarbone.
“I-I-I don’t know.”
“Hmm.” I ran my lips along her jaw.
She gasped as I placed my fingertips along her thigh.
“And what about your dates? Can they touch you like this?” I whispered, running my hand higher and tracing along the hem of the T-shirt I’d given her to wear.
“Touch my leg? I suppose so.”
“Such a tease.” I pushed the bottom of the shirt up and flattened my palm against her stomach to trace circles with my thumb. “And can I touch other girls like this?”
“No.”
“Can I kiss them?” I breathed into her ear.
She whimpered. “Do you
want
to kiss them?”
“Depends, I guess.” I ran my teeth along the sensitive skin of her earlobe. “Do they have big boobs?”
She slapped my arm and pulled away from me, laughing.
“You
are
confused,” I said. “And confusing.” With a shake of my head, I raised my eyebrows. “So now what?”
“I think we should decide what the best thing is for the kids. They love you so much.” She pleaded with her eyes, and I nodded, the smile fading from my face.
With a huff, she scooted toward the end of the bed and climbed off. Standing in front of the door, she gave a timid smile.
“So how do we know when this is figured out?” I asked.
“I think we’ll just know. Good night, Andrew.”
“G’night, Gwen.”
She turned and walked out the door, lifting a hand to wave as she called, “Stop staring at my ass like it’s something to eat, Dee.”
Chapter 15
Some Other Guy
I needed to pump myself up: play some
Rocky
theme music or something. This shit was going down and I needed to be ready like a champ.
I heard her upstairs, leaving and coming home throughout the day, but I didn’t bother her. I had to lay low so she didn’t know what I had planned.
I was pacing the floor, and I stilled when I heard her shower start. She was running late, because while she was gone, I’d moved some of her things around and then she’d shuffled around in a panic. I’d even felt ripples in the wall when she’d slammed her closet door, unable to find the pair of shoes she’d laid out for the evening. It was all I could do to not die laughing, picturing her moving furniture to find them, sliding her hands across the carpet under her ottoman, when they’d been right at the edge of her bed. She’d even checked the kitchen. In the pantry.
By playing my little game of “Hide Gwen’s Clothes,” I figured she’d spend at least fifteen minutes looking for them before she gave up. And that meant her date would be arriving sooner than she would be ready, if he was planning on being on time.
Ian had divulged the info, since Tess had been the one to set Gwen up with this guy.
Putting him off would have been much easier had the kids been home, but I was on my own on this mission.
I stripped down, wrapped a towel around my waist, and then turned on the water and shoved my head under the tap in the bathroom sink. Then I crept up the stairs, clutching the little blue dress she’d worn the previous night. I’d just made it up to the kitchen when the doorbell rang. Talk about luck.
After whipping my head back and forth to spread the water from my hair across my shoulders, I jogged to the door and opened it wide with a devious smile.
The broad, dark-haired guy standing on the front porch took a step back, and his mouth formed a surprised
O
.
“Hey,” I said, trying to sound breathless.
He peeked over my shoulder and then back at the number on the door. “Um, I might have the wrong house. Does Gwen Stone live here?”
I nodded emphatically and jerked my head toward the stairs. “She’s finishing up in the shower. Come on in and have a seat.”
He appraised me, his eyes falling on the large white towel and the beads of water falling cross my chest.
“I’m just going to take her the clothes she left in my room last night. You’re welcome to wait.” I gave him a full smile, and he took an unsure step toward the door. “Sorry, I’m Dee. What’s your name?”
He frowned. “Kyle.”
“I apologize,” I said with an exasperated laugh. “I can’t keep all your names straight.” I motioned for him to follow me and led him inside, letting the towel fall around my feet. I looked up like I was embarrassed, facing him straight on.
One. Two. Three.
He looked.
I snatched the towel off the floor and winced. “Sorry about that, man.” I pointed to the living room. “Make yourself comfortable.”
As I ascended the stairs two at a time, Kyle paused in the foyer, looking shell-shocked. I threw Gwen’s blue dress onto her chair, and by the time I made it back downstairs, the living room was empty.
I peeped out the front door curtains and saw an empty driveway. The smile that covered my face was so big I felt my cheeks would crack.
Gwen’s shower turned off, and I ran back down to my room to get dressed for the night, prepping myself to keep a straight face when I saw her. I threw on a plaid shirt over a T-shirt and messed a little with my hair instead of putting a hat on. After yanking on my shoes and taking one last look in the mirror, I climbed the stairs and walked into the kitchen.
Gwen was just inside the living room, staring at the clock.
“Hey,” I said.
“Hey.”
“What’s wrong? Where’s your guy?”
She crossed to the counter. “I think I got stood up.”
“Bummer.” I opened the fridge and grabbed a soda. “It’s too bad, because you look sexy in those shoes.”
Her face turned red. “I tore this house apart looking for these. And they were right under my bed.”
I almost choked on the Coke. “Weird.” After glancing at the clock on the stove, I shrugged. “I’m headed out. Sorry about your date.”
“Oh, yeah. It’s okay. Have fun.”
I made it almost to the door before I turned to face her again. “You can come with me if you want.”
Her head snapped up and her eyes widened. “You don’t have a date?”
I snorted and made a
pfft
sound. “I’m headed to Xander’s bar to see if he and Cece are there. I was going to talk to them.”
She smiled. “I’d like that.”
Chapter 16
Fixing a Hole
The ride over to the Black Hole was anything but quiet. Between changing the dials on the radio to find a song she liked and complaining about what an asshole Kyle was, Gwen was going nonstop.
She flipped to a channel, but a few bars into the song, she huffed, crossed her arms, and turned down the volume.
“I can’t believe he didn’t even bother to call or text me. I’m going to tell Tess what a jerk he is.”
I mentally kicked myself for not factoring that into the equation.
“You don’t want to hurt her feelings, you know?” I played it cool like I was giving her advice. “What if they’re closer friends than she said? That could make things awkward.” I winced and hit the blinker to take a left into the parking garage.
“I don’t care. He left me high and dry.”
“You do realize who you’re complaining to, right?” I pulled the car into a parking spot and looked at her.
She blinked, silent. Then she said, “Well, I may have gotten the better end of the deal after all.”
Giving her my best smile, I patted her knee and then moved my hand up her leg to unlatch the seat belt around her waist. She shivered and looked down, and I could see a blush creeping across her cheeks even in the limited lighting of the parking garage.
Don liked it.
We walked side by side into the bar, and then I let her lead with my hand on her lower back. She leaned back into my palm, and I smiled. Rounding the corner to the open bar space, I let go and scanned the room for Cece. Sure enough, she was sitting in the corner, leaning across the bar, talking to Xander, just like last time.