Eleanor stared at him. He sounded so deeply unhappy that her heart ached for him. She tried to think of something she could say that would make him feel better.
“A dragon is large and scary,” she agreed, shuddering as more flashes of her dream came back to her, “but essentially it’s still a living, breathing creature and everything dies. Besides, the people who hid the chalice wanted it found eventually, so maybe the dragon will just let us have it.” Conlan raised an eyebrow at this and Eleanor shrugged. “You gave us a choice in coming here, Conlan.” He snorted his derision, Eleanor ignored it. “I’m willing to do this because I think you’re right; the people of Mydren need help.” She stopped just short of adding that she would also quite happily skip into the dragon’s lair and offer herself for lunch, if it would please him. He smiled, a real smile, and she felt the world wobble on its axis. He stood, moving towards Rand, grabbing the battered brown saddle as he passed it.
“We have lost some time, but if we leave now we should be home by tomorrow night,” Conlan said, using Dwarfish to emphasise the word ‘home’ with a soft growl at the end. Eleanor knew this was a way of subtly expressing pleasure in something, and it made her smile because she was missing home too. While the weeks travelling with Conlan had been enjoyable, she missed Freddie and Will. She was even missing Amelia, but mostly she was looking forward to a hot bath and her bed.
“Do you think Amelia has chosen to be who she is?” Eleanor said, stumbling over the Dwarfish word for ‘chosen’.
“I imagine so, it was not really much of a choice… Amelia is a very practical person… I should never have let her attack you for as long as she did.”
“She had every right to attack me, I nearly killed the two people she loves most.”
“That was an accident, Eleanor, an accident you did your best to fix,” he offered. His voice came from behind Rand as he rubbed the animal’s neck – more a comfort for him than for Rand, Eleanor suspected.
“No, I would have killed you both if Freddie had not knocked me senseless. I can still hear your screams.” She cringed and then switched back to English, her Dwarfish vocabulary not covering what she wanted to say next. “I had no control at all. I unleashed something far more powerful than I could handle and I did it because I was too arrogant to consider the results.”
“You did it because you were trying to help me. What is my excuse?” Conlan said with growling Dwarfish subtext, but Eleanor did not understand what he was trying to imply.
Eleanor stared at him. “You are trying to save your world. Besides, if you had not made the choices you did, I would have died. I am grateful for what you have given me. However dangerous this life might be, it is still life and there is joy, love, beauty and friendship. The fact that there is also pain, fear and misery makes the good so much brighter. Truly, Conlan, there is nowhere else in the Universe I would rather be than right here, so stop beating yourself up about it!”
Conlan smiled at her. “Freddie is right, you are amazing when you are angry.” A growl emphasised the ‘amazing’, which Eleanor understood this time as a subtle compliment, indicating that it was not just in this regard he considered her amazing.
“You have never seen me angry,” Eleanor said, smiling sweetly, feeling relieved when Conlan laughed.
Eleanor was so tired by the time they reached the mountains’ foothills that it was several hours before she felt the throbbing in her wrist. She had been too afraid of ‘dragon’ nightmares to sleep the night before and she was now paying the price. She had spent the night re-reading the book and trying her best not to torment herself by studying Conlan’s sleeping face. When she did finally notice her wrist they were almost home. It had been a relatively easy journey, the snow had nearly all melted and more flowers and fresh tree growth were visible. The weather had been wet but mild and there was not a grey Protector uniform in sight, on the road or anywhere on the mountain.
“Conlan, my wrist is hurting…” she said slowly in Dwarfish.
“We are almost home, so if it has only just started to ache it means they have moved,” Conlan said.
“No, it has been aching for a while. My mind is a little slow today, I did not notice.”
Conlan turned in the saddle to look at her, concern furrowing a little knot between his eyes; she forced herself to smile at him.
“Are you alright?” he asked.
She nodded. “I am fine, I am just tired.”
“We will be home soon.”
She nodded again. Still looking worried he turned back in the saddle and pushed Rand to a slightly faster pace. Eleanor laid her head onto his back. She had lied, she knew it; she was not fine.
Normal exhaustion doesn’t make me feel like this, certainly not on one night’s missed sleep.
She was most definitely not fine. Out of habit she checked her energy level and realised with a shock that it was incredibly low. She had not used her energy since she had left the others. Fear squeezed her insides, her heart racing.
What’s wrong with me? Where did all my energy go?
She closed her eyes and tried to pull more energy from the earth, but the effort sent her hurtling down a tunnel into black nothing.
Warm, comfortable, wrapped in a soft cocoon, she cautiously opened her eyes. The flickering glow of a candle illuminated the rough stone above her. Home – she was home in her own bed. She looked round slowly and found that the other beds were empty. Images from her hideous dream still flashed through her throbbing brain, but as she took slow deep breaths they faded.
“Eleanor?”
His voice. He was leaning against the wall. He looked tired but his smile was genuine. She tried to say his name, but her lips were swollen and her jaw ached. The dry rasping of her tongue along the roof of her mouth made her wince. She felt broken. Conlan walked over, and picking up a cup of water from the floor next to her bed he held it for her to drink. The cool liquid ran down her throat, and it felt so good that she tried to drink too much and nearly choked.
“A little at a time, Eleanor, you’ve not drunk much recently, you’re dehydrated,” he admonished.
“How long?” she croaked.
“Two days.”
Eleanor noticed the concern in Conlan’s eyes.
Two days? I’ve been out of it for two days?
Afraid of what she might find, Eleanor checked her energy. It was still low, very low. Two days’ sleep had made no difference.
“What happened?” she asked, attempting to keep her fear from her face.
“You fell off Rand – you were trembling and whimpering. You bit your lip right through and were muttering about dragons and then nothing, for two days.”
Using the tip of her tongue, Eleanor gingerly felt the neat line of stitches on the inside of her swollen lower lip. No doubt there would be matching ones on the outside; more scars to add to her collection.
“What’s wrong?” Conlan asked.
“I don’t know,” Eleanor admitted fearfully. “My energy level is really low, but I’ve not used it and I keep dreaming about dragons killing me.”
The concern in Conlan’s eyes became full-blown worry.
“Maybe you’re ill,” he suggested doubtfully.
Eleanor felt tears spring to her eyes and fought them back.
I’m not crying in front of him.
“I don’t feel ill, just very tired.”
He reached to squeeze her hand. “I can’t help you, can I?”
Eleanor shook her head slowly. “No, I don’t think you can. Maybe I just need some more rest.”
Conlan frowned, but nodded. “Eleanor, Will and I need to head out to check the passes for Protectors. I don’t want to leave you if …”
“Go. I’m not dying, Conlan, I just feel crappy. I’m sure I’ll be fine.” She gave him a wide smile to hide her fear.
“Can I speak to her, please?” It was Amelia’s voice from the doorway.
Eleanor struggled to sit up, reluctantly allowing Conlan to help and feeling pathetic. He placed a pillow behind her back, running a light, comforting hand over her head as he did so. Amelia stood in the entrance; she looked uncertain. Conlan smiled encouragingly and then moved into the main cave, leaving them to stare at each other.
“Amelia, I’m…” Eleanor had been planning to apologise for forcing her to make a difficult decision, for being a dreadful friend, but Amelia held her hand up. Eleanor stuttered to a halt.
“I was so very angry,” Amelia whispered. “The thought of losing Will... The anger helped to drive away some of the fear, but then it felt like the anger, the rage, had control and I lashed out at the one person I knew wouldn’t fight back. I’m so sorry.”
Eleanor could see the tears running down her face, even though Amelia was looking at the floor, and she felt her own tears rise to join them. She opened her arms wide, offering a hug. Amelia almost ran to her and wrapped herself into Eleanor’s body as she pulled her close, her head resting on her shoulder.
“I’ll stand with you, Eleanor; please forgive me,” Amelia begged.
Eleanor smiled and whispered around thick lips. “I never stopped loving you, so there’s nothing to forgive.” Amelia hugged her tighter. Eleanor held her, stroking her hair. She gasped as she felt Amelia’s energy encompass her own – it felt like a cool breeze across sun-warmed skin.
Amelia pulled back, a frown on her tearstained face. “What have you been doing?”
Eleanor shook her head. “Nothing,” she wailed.
Amelia rubbed her thumb gently across Eleanor’s face, pulling the tears away. “Will and I have been practicing with our energy. I wanted to be able to help if… if… what happened before, happened again. I wanted to know that if Will ever needed energy again I could give it to him.”
Eleanor blushed, not wanting to be reminded of the incident, but Amelia held her gaze with earnest sincerity.
“Eleanor, you gave Will your energy to restore him, so maybe I can give you some of mine to help you now?”
Wondering what it would feel like, Eleanor nodded her head slowly. Amelia closed her eyes and Eleanor shivered as the light energy of air blew through her body. It made her own energy leap and pulse; Eleanor could imagine it glowing brighter, and it made her feel rather light-headed. Within moments Amelia had given her enough energy that she had the strength to pull her own. Delighted, Eleanor pushed a string deep into the earth. Strength returned to her limbs and the strange lethargy left her body and mind as the imagined glowing green ball of her energy was returned to its normal size.
Eleanor smiled. “Thank you.”
“Did it work? Do you feel better?” Amelia asked, grey eyes carefully observing her.
Eleanor nodded. “Much… I’m starving! Is there anything to eat?”
Eleanor insisted on getting out of bed to eat, so Amelia agreed reluctantly. Conlan and Will were out, watching for Protectors, she assumed. Freddie was affectionate in his welcome as she went to join him by the fire. Amelia handed her a bowl of what looked like stir-fry.
Makes a change from stew
, Eleanor thought, eating slowly.
“I take it Conlan has told you about our trip?” Eleanor asked, once her food was finished.
Freddie looked up from the sword he was polishing, catching Amelia’s eye, but Eleanor had no idea what was meant by the look they gave each other.
Amelia took the empty bowl from Eleanor’s hand and shook her head. “Not really, no. Since you got back he’s spent most of his time either watching over you or out watching the mountains for Protectors and Enforcers.”
“So what did you find out?” Freddie asked, putting down his equipment.
Eleanor spent several hours telling them about Conlan’s grandfather and Baydon. She read back parts of the book for them in her stilted Dwarfish, translating as she went and showing them the pictures of the Talismans. Freddie had been more impressed with her description of the wonderful meal Gregor had provided her with than his Talisman, but both of them had been stunned into silence when she had explained where they would have to go to get the wand and the chalice.
“Dragon? As in fire-breathing monster?” Freddie asked incredulously, once he had got over his shock enough to speak.
Eleanor nodded. “I’ve been dreaming about this dragon. I don’t remember it all, it’s a bit disjointed. I stand in front of the waterfall and he flies out to meet me and asks me questions. No matter what I say he grabs me and slowly forces his claws into my body, eventually ripping open my heart. It’s happened twice now.”
Amelia looked thoughtful. “Could the dream have something to do with your energy loss?”
“How?” Freddie asked.
“The dragon is draining my energy?” Eleanor murmured.
Is that possible? It would mean the dragon was able to reach me over a vast distance and pull energy from me without me noticing. Then again, if I was asleep…
“It would be simple to test,” Amelia said, bringing Eleanor back from her thoughts. “Your energy is normal now, so if you go to sleep, dream about dragons and then wake up the next day with no energy, I’d say it was the dragon.”
“And what if the next time he kills her for real?” Freddie asked. “Drains Eleanor’s energy, stops her heart, like she did to Will?”
Amelia looked frightened. “Maybe Will can give you one of his stronger sedatives, to stop you dreaming?”
Eleanor shook her head. “That’s no guarantee that the dragon will stop taking energy from me.”
“What’s no guarantee? And what are you doing out of bed?”
They turned to find Conlan wringing out his sodden jacket. Will stood next to him bone-dry, if a little windblown.
“Benefits of being the Avatar of Water,” Will said to assuage Eleanor’s confused look.
“You’re not well, Eleanor, you need sleep,” Conlan said softly as he moved to warm himself by the fire. Will sitting down with Amelia and watching with amusement as Conlan’s clothes steamed.