Authors: Rainbow Rowell
didn’t have time to die of ecstasy
or embarrassment.
She let her face fall for just a
few seconds against his shoulder,
against the sleeve of his black
trench coat. He squeezed her hand
tight.
‘I missed you,’ he whispered.
She felt tears in her eyes and
turned to the window.
They didn’t say anything more
all the way to school. Park walked
with Eleanor to her locker, and
they both stood there quietly,
leaning against the wall almost
until the bell rang. The hall was
practically empty.
Then Park reached up and
wrapped one of her red curls
around his honey finger.
‘Back to missing you,’ he said,
letting it go.
She was late to homeroom and
didn’t hear Mr Sarpy tell her that
she had an office pass. He
slammed it on her desk.
‘Eleanor, wake up! You’ve got
a pass from your counselor.’ God,
he was a jerk, she was glad she
didn’t have him for a real class.
As she walked to the office, she
trailed her fingertips along the
brick wall and hummed a song
Park had given her.
She was so blissed out, she
even smiled at Mrs Dunne when
she got to her office.
‘Eleanor,’ she said, hugging
her. Mrs Dunne was big on
hugging. She’d hugged Eleanor
the very first time they met. ‘How
are you?’
‘I’m good.’
‘You
look
good,’ Mrs Dunne
said.
Eleanor looked down at her
sweater (a very fat man had
probably bought it to wear golfing
in 1968) and at her holey jeans.
God, how bad did she usually
look? ‘Thanks, I guess.’
‘I’ve been talking to your
teachers,’ Mrs Dunne said. ‘Did
you know you’re getting As in
almost all your classes?’
Eleanor shrugged. She didn’t
have cable or a phone, and she felt
like she was living underground in
her own house … There was
plenty of time for homework.
‘Well, you are,’ Mrs Dunne
said. ‘And I’m so
proud
of you.’
Eleanor was glad there was a
desk between them now. Mrs
Dunne looked like she had
another hug coming on.
‘But that’s not why I called
you down here. The reason you’re
here is because I got a telephone
call for you this morning, before
school started. A man called – he
said that he was your dad – and
that he was calling here because
he didn’t have your home number
…’
‘I don’t actually have a home
number,’ Eleanor said.
‘Ah,’ Mrs Dunne said, ‘I see.
Would your dad know that?’
‘Probably not,’ Eleanor said.
She was surprised he even knew
what school she went to.
‘Would you like to call him?
You could use my office.’
Would she like to call him?
Why would he want to call her?
Maybe
something
horrible
(something
really
horrible) had
happened. Maybe her grandma
had died. God.
‘Sure …’ Eleanor said.
‘You know,’ Mrs Dunne said,
‘you can come use my phone
whenever you need to.’ She stood
up and sat on the edge of her
desk,
resting
her
hand
on
Eleanor’s knee. Eleanor was
this
close
to asking for a toothbrush,
but she thought that would lead to
a marathon of hugging and knee-
rubbing.
‘Thanks,’ Eleanor said instead.
‘Okay,’ Mrs Dunne said,
beaming. ‘I’ll be right back then.
I’ll just go freshen up my lipstick.’
When Mrs Dunne left, Eleanor
dialed
her
dad’s
number,
surprised that she still knew it by
heart. He answered after the third
ring.
‘Hey, Dad. It’s Eleanor.’
‘Hey, baby, how are you?’
She thought for a second
about telling him the truth. ‘Fine,’
she said.
‘How’s everybody?’
‘Fine.’
‘You guys never call.’
There was no use telling him
that they didn’t have a phone. Or
pointing out that he never called
them back when they did have a
phone. Or even saying that maybe
he
should find a way to talk to
them
, him being the one with a
phone and a car and a life of his
own.
There was no use telling her
dad anything. Eleanor had known
that for so long, she couldn’t even
remember figuring it out.
‘Hey, I’ve got a cool offer for
you,’ he said. ‘I thought maybe
you could come over on Friday
night.’ Her dad had a voice like
someone on TV, somebody who
would try to sell you record
compilations. Disco hits of the
’70s or the latest Time-Life
collection.
‘Donna wants me to go to
some wedding,’ he said, ‘and I
told her you would probably
watch Matt. Thought you might
like some babysitting money.’
‘Who’s Donna?’
‘You know, Donna – Donna
my fiancée. You guys met her the
last time you were here.’
That was almost a year ago.
‘Your neighbor?’ Eleanor asked.
‘Yeah, Donna. You can come
over and spend the night. Watch
Matt, eat pizza, talk on the phone
… It will be the easiest ten bucks
you ever made.’
And actually the first.
‘Okay,’ Eleanor said. ‘Are you
picking us up? Do you know
where we live now?’
‘I’ll pick you up at school –
just you this time. I don’t want to
give you a whole house full of
kids to watch. What time do they
let you out of there?’
‘Three.’
‘Cool. I’ll see you Friday at
three.’
‘All right.’
‘Well, all right. I love you,
baby, study hard.’
Mrs Dunne was waiting in the
doorway, with her arms open.
Fine, Eleanor thought as she
walked down the hall. Everything
is fine. Everyone is fine. She
kissed the back of her hand, just
to see how it felt on her lips.
Park
‘I’m not going to homecoming,’
Park said.
‘Of course you’re not going …
To the
dance
,’ Cal said. ‘I mean,
it’s way too late to rent a tux
anyways.’
They were early to English
class. Cal sat two seats behind
him, so Park kept having to look
back over his shoulder to see if
Eleanor had walked in yet.
‘You’re renting a tux?’ Park
asked.
‘Uh, yeah,’ Cal said.
‘Nobody rents a tux for
homecoming.’
‘So who’s going to look like
the classiest guy there? Besides,
what do you know – you’re not
even going – to the dance, that is.
The football game, however?
Different story.’
‘I don’t even like football,’
Park said, looking back at the
door.
‘Could you stop being the
worst friend in the world for, like,
five minutes?’
Park looked up at the clock.
‘Yes.’
‘Please,’ Cal said, ‘do me this
one favor. There’s a whole group
of cool people going, and if you
go, Kim will sit with us. You’re a
Kim magnet.’
‘Don’t you see what a problem
that is?’
‘No. It’s like I’ve found the
perfect bait for my Kim trap.’
‘Stop saying her name like
that.’
‘Why? She’s not here yet, is
she?’
Park
glanced
over
his
shoulder. ‘Can’t you just like a girl
who likes you back?’
‘None of them like me back,’
Cal said. ‘I may as well like the
one I really want. Come on,
please. Come to the game on
Friday – for me.’
‘I don’t know …’ Park said.
‘Wow, what’s up with her.
She looks like she just killed
somebody for fun.’
Park
whipped
his
head
around. Eleanor. Smiling at him.
She had the kind of smile you
see in toothpaste commercials,
where you can see practically all
of somebody’s teeth. She should
smile like that all the time, Park
thought; it made her face cross
over from weird to beautiful. He
wanted to make her smile like that
constantly.
Mr Stessman pretended to fall
against the chalkboard when he
walked in. ‘Good God, Eleanor,
stop. You’re blinding me. Is that
why you keep that smile locked
away, because it’s too powerful
for mortal man?’
She
looked
down
self-
consciously and flattened her
smile into a smirk.
‘Psst,’ Cal said. Kim was
sitting down between them. Cal
locked his fingers together like he
was begging. Park sighed and
nodded his head.
Eleanor
She waited for the phone call
from her dad to go sour on her.
(Conversations with her dad were
like whiplash; they didn’t always
hurt right away.) But it didn’t.
Nothing could bring Eleanor
down. Nothing could drive Park’s
words from her head.
He
missed
her …
Who knows what he missed.
Her fatness. Her weirdness. The
fact that she couldn’t talk to him
like a regular person. Whatever.
Whatever perversion caused him
to like her was his problem. But
he did like her, she was sure of it.
At least for now.
For today.
He
liked
her. He missed her.
She was so distracted in gym
class, she actually forgot not to
try. They were playing basketball,
and Eleanor caught the ball,
colliding with one of Tina’s
friends, a jumpy, wiry girl named
Annette. ‘Are you trying to start
something?’ Annette demanded,
pushing forward – pushing the
ball into Eleanor’s chest. ‘Are
you? Come on, then, let’s go.
Come on.’ Eleanor took a few
steps back, out of bounds, and
waited for Mrs Burt to blow the
whistle.
Annette stayed mad for the rest
of the game, but Eleanor didn’t let
it get to her.
That feeling she used to have
when she was sitting next to Park
on the bus – that feeling that she
was on base, that she was safe for
the moment – she could summon
it now. Like a force field. Like she
was the Invisible Girl.
That would make Park Mr
Fantastic.
CHAPTER 18
Eleanor
Her mom wasn’t going to let her
babysit.
‘He
has
four
children,’ her
mother said. She was rolling out
dough for tortillas. ‘Did he forget
that?
Eleanor had stupidly told her
mother about her dad’s phone call
in front of her brothers and sister
– they’d all gotten really excited.
And then Eleanor had to tell them
that they weren’t invited, that it
was just babysitting, anyway, and
that Dad wasn’t even going to be
there.
Mouse had started to cry, and
Maisie got mad and stormed out.
Ben asked Eleanor if she’d call
Dad back to see if he could come
along to help. ‘Tell him I babysit
all the time,’ Ben said.
‘Your father is a piece of
work,’ her mother said. ‘Every
time, he breaks your hearts. And
every time, he expects me to pick
up the pieces.’
Pick up, sweep aside – same
difference in her mom’s world.
Eleanor didn’t argue.
‘Please let me go,’ she said.
‘Why do you want to go?’ her
mom asked. ‘Why do you even
care about him? He’s never cared
about you.’
God. Even if it were true, it
still hurt to hear it that way.
‘I
don’t
care,’ Eleanor said. ‘I
just need to get out of here. I
haven’t been anywhere but school
in two months. Plus, he said he’d
pay me.’
‘If he has extra money sitting
around, maybe he should pay his
child support.’
‘Mom … it’s ten dollars.