Electrified (32 page)

This wasn’t just sex or a one-night stand; they had moved way beyond that. She made a placeholder in her mind for each nuance of this moment. She had to go soon, but she wouldn’t shut out these memories like she did the ones of her marriage.

He removed the condom and collapsed next to her, draping his leg lightly over hers, and making circles on her stomach with his hand. She was exhausted after the events of the day, dancing at the Tunnel, and especially after Carson making love to her. She had no brain power left to give at the moment, yet she was completely unsure about what to do.

Should she let herself fall asleep with him right there next to her, or ask him to leave again? Leaving didn’t seem to agree with him the evening before.

“You must be so tired,” he said quietly, as if confirming her thoughts. “I’m wiped, too, but if you want me to go, I will. I really want to stay, though.”

Once again, she didn’t have to ask or say anything first, because Carson was so in sync with her.

“No, I think I’d like it if you stayed. Do you want me to get you anything? Extra pillows?” It came out as a whisper, barely audible, but this was about to be the first time she spent the night sleeping next to a man.

“Uh-uh, I’m good right here with you all wrapped up in me. I don’t want you to move an inch, even for a second,” Carson said as he tucked her underneath his arm, yawned, and drifted off to sleep.

She slid her leg even deeper next to his, entangling their feet and toes.

With that, it only took minutes for Sienna to fall asleep nestled against the side of a man. A first she never believed would be hers to have.

And she slept sounder than ever before.

Saturday

T
HE WEEKEND
went by in a blur as Sienna lost herself further in Carson. He made her breakfast in bed on Saturday after he spent the night. A completely mundane act to anyone else, but all new for Sienna, making it close to impossible to maintain any distance.

She liked it all.

After Carson cleared the tray from bed, he proceeded to make love to her again and again, keeping her captive in bed for the rest of the day until it was time for her to go to work. A day unlike any other she had ever had, topped off with Carson in his most recent preferred spot at the back bar while she danced at the Tunnel.

Mike, Asher, and Petey allowed Carson free rein in walking around the club, going in and out of backstage to visit with Sienna without an escort, making his way from the back toward the stage entrance without any hindrance.

In just a few days, Sienna’s life had been totally turned upside down, and she was quite afraid that she was getting used to it.

How am I going to leave?

Carson powwowed with Asher and Mike on Sam Charles. When Asher and Mike visited the cowboy-hat-wearing guy from Jersey, he admitted to wanting to cast Sienna in his latest porno films.

“We told him it was a firm ‘no’ in not so many words,” according to Mike. Sienna was afraid to know what that meant, but she let it go because she was so absolutely smitten with Carson, and everything fresh and new she was experiencing.

A few times on Saturday, Sienna found Asher and Natalie talking, almost fighting, and she caught one moment when Carson was giving Asher what sounded like a pep talk. She still hadn’t found the best time to ask Asher more about his situation, but he said he’d find her when the time was right for them to chat.

She felt bad because Asher had given her everything, and he was still busy with her problems. She should be dedicating time to him, but instead she was wrapped up in her own worries. And now Carson was involved with her troubles, and possibly Asher’s love life.

She needed to leave soon; she knew it somewhere deep in her gut.

Sienna didn’t know whether Sam was a big threat or not, but if not him, there would be someone else. She had to protect those around her, the people she’d come to love. They deserved that.

It didn’t mean it hurt any less. It pained her beyond belief to say good-bye to the crazy gang she had come to call family. The pull to stay in her little nest in Las Vegas was omnipresent, but she had to admit to herself, if she stayed she would only endanger her loved ones.

More so, she felt like an ungrateful bitch because she would be gone before she could talk to Asher about his happiness and see him make a life. Not just him, but everyone else. How would the girls do without her? Would they be smart and save money? Did Mike think his relationship was going to last forever? Why wasn’t he making a move to take it to the next level?

And Carson. Leaving Carson was going to break her. She’d been broken before, so she knew she’d be able to pull herself back together, but this time around it wouldn’t be as easy. She was already a shell of who she was. What could she expect after being forced to give up Carson?

There was one difference. This time around, she’d hold on to the memories of what happened before she came undone. Unlike her life with Elon, these memories were good ones, and she was going to suck up every last one of them, hide them deep in the recesses of her brain, and pull them out whenever she needed one.

Heading onto the stage, she put her heart and soul into dancing, as if it could be one of her last times. She was wearing too-tight bright-blue boy shorts and her Superwoman T-shirt from a couple of days ago; she knew Carson liked it. With her ass cheeks peeking out from her shorts and the T-shirt secured tightly in a knot under her breasts, baring her whole midriff, Sienna left her bra and nipples a mystery that night.

She knew Carson was wondering what was underneath the shirt, and she wanted to keep him guessing, along with everyone else in the crowd. But when she invited Carson back to her dressing room afterward, she could show him. Just him.

The crowd couldn’t have cared less if Sienna stayed covered up, her moves were tantalizing enough. She had the entire club buzzing with sexual heat. For the first time in her dancing career, Sienna felt like she knew the meaning behind all the lust and desire floating around the Tunnel as she ran her hands up and down her very own body.

Unlike every other night onstage, she didn’t have to fake her own passion and urges; they were right underneath the surface, dying to come out and tackle Carson.

Which was exactly what she did when Carson made his way into her dressing room after her performance. She could tell he was heady with lust, even though they’d indulged in each other all day.

He turned the lock on the door, walked toward her with one eyebrow cocked, and said with a wink, “So, were you waiting to take your shirt off just for me?”

With those words, Sienna was a dripping mess of desire. Yet another first to add to the very long list accumulated over the last twenty-four hours.

“Uh-huh,” was all she could make out.

“You were fantastic and, well, so absolutely gorgeous tonight. I was pretending I was the only man out there.” Carson lifted her shirt, exposing the cobalt-blue demi-bra she had on underneath, and his breathing hitched as he smoothed his hand along the satin.

Sienna’s breasts spilled out of the cups, urging Carson to touch them, do whatever he wanted to them. Which he did, much to her satisfaction.

With the two of them safely ensconced behind the locked door, he made quick work of removing her bra and boy shorts, taking in her whole body with his eyes. He stopped at her mouth and pulled her in for a long and luxurious kiss.

When he finally bent Sienna over the back of her chaise, there was nothing quick as he dipped his hand between her legs, making certain she was ready. She heard the telltale opening of the condom package, and at once he entered her.

Nowhere near the sharp entrance she remembered from her marriage, when Carson seated himself inside her in one fell swoop it felt magnificent, decadent, and her soul was complete.

His hands smoothed down her back, taking his time, treasuring, mapping, and learning her body all over again. He kissed a path down and back up her spine, finally coming to a halt behind her ear where he nipped, licked, and whispered how gorgeous she was, while sliding all the way in and out of her tightness. Sienna felt every nerve ending come alive as Carson’s length went deep and then torturously pulled out before doing it again.

Sienna’s back arched and her body shifted, lifting her butt, begging Carson to be one with her, to make her feel whole.

Fool, falling for him. Completely, totally, irrevocably.

There was nothing she could do to stop herself from grinding back on him, and when he finally pushed inside her, staying there as he pumped in and out at an urgent pace, blanketing her back with his body, bringing his arm around her middle, lifting her higher so he could go deeper, Sienna was certain there was nothing she could do to stop from falling into the abyss known as Carson.

Right before her orgasm exploded through her, he turned her head to the side so he could quiet her screams with his mouth. Together, the two of them came, and then he bundled her in his arms and sat her down on his lap on the couch, holding her tight, not allowing anything to spoil the moment.

He was still touching her, rubbing softly down her back, kissing her lips tenderly while looking right through her with a look that said he felt as overwhelmed as she did. That was how the two of them stayed until she had to get ready to dance again.

The second time onstage for the evening, bubbling over with sex and the peace from her own orgasm, Sienna did fully strip out of her nightie all the way down to her bra and thong, taking the crowd to unparalleled heights with her moves. She taunted the audience with slow gyrations of her hips as she worked the pole, but kept her eyes glued on Carson in anticipation of what they might do later.

As the fast-paced pop song blared through the club, she lost track of her fears and shook her shoulders with reckless abandon as the pressures of the last seven years slipped away. For a few minutes, she was only Sienna Flower, exactly as she had created her to be, but without a dark and hidden past.

She was a carefree stripper who was having fun tormenting all the men with hard-ons, watching with their tongues hanging out. She was a girl who liked a boy. She was a woman who was free to explore what the possibilities might be with a man. She was a lust-filled, hot-blooded, independent woman who couldn’t wait to get her man home. And that was what she did as soon as she finished on the stage.

Carson didn’t disappoint. When he brought her home, he relaxed her with a bath and coffee like the night before, growing the expectation for what was to come while he lathered each inch of her body with soap, and then he proceeded to keep her up all night, giving her pleasure she’d never even dreamed of. After what seemed like hours of positions she didn’t even know existed, Sienna relished in the way he made gentle love to her before they both drifted off to sleep.

Before sleep took them, Carson snuggled her into him like the night before, their legs entwined, a delicious soreness settling throughout her body as his hand wrapped in her long blonde locks.

He opened his mouth, then took in a breath before he said, “Sienna, honey, I need to go back to the East Coast again for three or four days tomorrow. I wish I could put it off, but I can’t.” He spoke softly, tenderly, as if the words were painful, even for a grown man.

Unable to open the dam of emotions she was feeling, Sienna only replied, “Shh, let’s not ruin this perfect moment.”

Sunday

T
HE NEXT
morning, over coffee standing on the edge of Sienna’s patio overlooking the garden, Carson brought all her mixed emotions back to the surface when he tried to talk about his trip. It was midmorning, and the sun made his black hair shine. She couldn’t help running her hands through it while she said, “It’s all right. You’ve got to do what you’ve got to do.”

As do I.

Standing face-to-face, she focused her thumb on the tiny spot of gray along his temple, thinking it only made him more handsome, rugged, and full of experience in life. All of which she wished he could share with her forever.