Elemental Hunger (15 page)

I charred the cement at my feet. Some of the leaves caught the fire. I let them burn, inhaling the smoke. Now I’d be able to find my way back, preferably with Adam and Hanai. They were probably wondering where I was, but as I turned to leave, something glinted in the corner. A doorknob.

I crossed the garage and examined the door. Material: Pine. Status: Stuck.

I twisted the knob and leaned my whole weight into the door. It swung open with a deafening screech. A damp, moldy smell emanated from the dark hallway.

I lit both hands and threw a ball of flames down the corridor. I may not have had formal training, but I knew enough to check for danger before entering an unknown area.

I saw crumbling walls, a low ceiling, and more debris on the floor. No bones, no bodies, no traps. I pulled the flames back to my body before they made friends with the walls and ignited into a lasting relationship.

I stepped into the hall, holding my hands out for light. Whoever had lived here had left in a hurry. Family pictures still hung on the walls. Some of them had a glass covering, the portraits obscured by decades of grime. White plaster littered the carpeted floor. This dwelling was ancient. See, carpet had been discontinued immediately following the Manifestation. Too flammable.

The hallway turned left before ending in a small room with a single bed, a cushy chair, and a sink in the corner. Another door led from the room, but when I opened it, I found the ceiling had collapsed, filling the space with soil and rocks.

I turned back to the bedroom. By the faint glow of my hands, I searched the three cupboards surrounding the sink. A few cans of food stood on the shelves. A couple boxes too. I pulled it all out and set it on the counter. We could come get it later.

Dirt disfigured the bedspread. The chair had once been blue. When I touched the crusty upholstery, dust filled the air. I coughed before I noticed another door behind the chair.

Several coats hung in the closet. When I pushed them aside, my hand brushed something silky. Sparkly things glittered on the navy blue fabric. But the top part of the dress was missing. Thin straps connected the front panel to the back, just like my camisole.

Next to the dress hung an assortment of T-shirts. Several pairs of boots lay scattered on the floor. I had the sudden thought that perhaps this place shouldn’t be disturbed, so I turned to leave empty handed.

I had just pulled down the garage door when I heard voices.

“Are you sure
she’s over here? Why would she come this way?” Adam’s words came out in annoyed bursts.

“Look, can
you
feel her spirit? She’s way less hyper than you. Shut up. I need to concentrate.”

“I am
not
hyper.”

“Whatever. Are you going to tell her, or should I?”

Their footsteps—Adam’s at least—came closer. I wondered what he needed to tell me.

“I’ll tell her. We can’t have any more secrets.” He stopped moving. “But you keep your big mouth shut about my soul…yearning for hers, got it?”

Hanai laughed. “You just said no secrets.”

“That doesn’t affect our Council. I’m working through it.” The leaves rustled again as he resumed walking.

“You keep saying that like you’re solving a problem. Gabby is
not
a problem. Did you see—?”

“Shut up.”

Silence. Neither one of them moved or spoke. I worked hard to keep breathing in and out. See, I wanted to let them in, both of them. Right into my life, to share my deepest, darkest secrets. But I’d been hurt too many times before.

I dug my fingertips into the frozen earth and rebuilt the wall around my heart. It flopped against the confining barrier, but I thought of Jarvis and then Patches. They’d both chosen other things over me. So had Cat and Isaiah, even if their something better was a Council.

I couldn’t bear it if Hanai and Adam did the same thing.

“Trust me. My,” Adam cleared his throat, “feelings for her are a problem.”

“Because why?”

“They just are.”

“If you say so. There she is. Told ya,” Hanai said, emerging from the trees right behind Adam.

“Gabby, are you okay?” Adam crossed the leaf-strewn cement and scrutinized me.

“Hyper,” Hanai whispered.

Concern and anger simultaneously burned through Adam’s eyes. I did my best to smile, but the action stretched my skin too tight. “I’m fine. Look, I found a building.” I pointed behind me. “There’s food, shoes, coats. Maybe we can come back before we leave for Gregorio.”

“You went in there alone?” Adam eyed the closed door like it had done me wrong.

“Yeah, why not? Are you scared of the dark, Airmaster? Or you think girls can’t—”

“Chill, Gabby,” he interrupted. “I was just worried about you when we made it back to the settlement and you weren’t there. Okay?”

I bent under the weight of his glare. “Yeah, okay.” He hadn’t denied being afraid of the dark. “You want to go see?”

“No, I’ve been there before.” Adam put his arm around my shoulders and turned me away from the garage. “Let’s get back. Hanai, lead the way.”

Hanai disappeared into the trees, leaving me alone with Adam. He didn’t remove his arm, and I actually liked how it felt across my shoulders.

“Listen, Gabby, don’t go off on your own again. I—we were really worried. You’re our Firemaker, our Councilman. We’re nothing without you.”

“We?” I asked. “Or just you?”

Adam pulled me into a hug. I inhaled his lemony, ashy scent as I closed my eyes.

“Me. I was worried. I…I like you Gabby, in case you haven’t figured that out.”

The wall shuddered. My heart battered it, desperate to be free. To be Adam’s.

“There you go, clamming up again,” he teased.

I studied the ground. Then I slid my hand into Adam’s. Hanai was either long gone or hidden, so I searched for the smoke to guide us back to the settlement.

Hanai acted weird all day. He kept glancing at me while raking his eyes over my body or muttering under his breath. I spent a long time in the hot spring by myself, and the rest of the time I stayed close to Adam.

As soon as Adam and Hanai got back from their bath, I headed toward the cabin. I shot Adam a knowing look along the way. He followed, catching the door before it closed.

I sat on Hanai’s cot while Adam stretched out on a blanket on the floor. “What’s up?”

“I need you to teach me to read.”

“Oh, that. Sure, let me get Hanai.” He got up and moved toward the door.

“Wait. I didn’t know it was going to be a group lesson.”

“He needs to learn too, Gabby. If I’m teaching you, he might as well join us.”

“Okay…but just a minute.” Yet I stood there, mute.

Adam moved closer. “What is it?” He smelled like hot water and spicy soap. And that heavenly smoke. I submerged my erratic feelings and tried to find the right words.

“I—I—” My thoughts blurred. How did I tell him how important he was to me without coming across as needy? Emotional?

Broken.

“Blazes,” I swore. “Thanks.”

His face remained unreadable. “Thanks? For what?”

“For…you know. Everything.” I leaned forward, trying to make him see that I’d let him in, just a little. That I appreciated him accepting me for what I was. That I accepted him for who he was.

He blinked, and something weird happened to his eyes. Was he crying?

“Adam?” I reached toward him, hesitating. I couldn’t initiate the contact.

He took my hand and placed it on his cheek. He was gorgeous and peaceful in the flickering firelight. I gingerly ran my fingers through his hair. Status: Silky and still a little damp.

“Things are so messed up,” he whispered. “It isn’t supposed to be this way.”

Confused, I couldn’t think of anything to say. Did he mean I was screwed up? Didn’t he like me? And I had no idea what wasn’t supposed to be what way.

“Please say something,” Adam said.

“What’s messed up?”

“Just everything.”

A non-answer. Typical. “Tell me.”

The cabin door creaked, and I spun around. Hanai stood there, a half-smile on his face. “I’m not interrupting anything, am I?”

“’Course not,” I said too fast. “Adam was just coming to get you for a reading lesson.” I turned around as Adam sat.

Tears: Gone—if they were ever there.

Honesty policy: Evaporated.

“Let’s do the alphabet first. Hanai, come sit by Gabby. Move over, girl.” Adam had disappeared behind his tough-guy mask. Even his voice sounded different. Lower. Sentry-trained.

As I slid over, I realized the real Adam was the scared guy. The one who allowed himself to like me enough to kiss me. To cry with me. Not the sentry who knew how to handle a knife or survive in the wilderness.

And, well, I wanted to carve a place for each of them inside my heart.

“You two are on one tonight,” Hanai said as he sat down. “Totally hyper.”

“Shut up,” Adam growled as I asked, “What does that mean?”

Hanai chuckled. “Could mean one thing for Adam and something totally different for you. All I feel is the pulsing energy coming from both of you.”

I took a couple of deep breaths and kept my gaze on the ground.

Adam leaned over to write in the dirt. “These are letters. There are twenty-six of them. They make words.”

Hanai and Adam sat too close, pressing in on either side of me. At least they’d taken baths. They smelled ashy, and I pushed down my fire as it leaped inside.

I smiled at Hanai, and he placed his hand on my thigh. We both looked at it. His warmth emanated through the leather, infusing my bloodstream with a steady heat. Time seemed to slow. My head felt too heavy when I glanced up. Hanai met my eye, a graceful smile dancing across his lips.

“Are you ready?” Adam’s voice accelerated time.

Hanai removed his hand, and the world turned cold again. I shivered with the loss, and Adam’s glare added to the chill.

“I’m ready,” Hanai said.

We listened to Adam, who had drawn a box around five of the letters and called them
vowels
. He taught us what sounds the letters made. Then he randomly pointed to one and made us repeat the sound. After a while, the lantern flickered.

“All right, that’s enough for tonight. I’m exhausted.” Adam started to get up.

“Wait.” I pulled on his arm. He cried out, sort of a strangled groan mixed with pain. A lot of pain. His eyes squeezed shut, and his jaw clenched. He fell back without catching himself, his head making a sickening
thump
on the packed dirt.

“What happened?” Hanai asked, jumping up to help Adam..

“I just…touched him.” My voice trailed into nothing with the realization.

Hanai felt his neck for a pulse, and then ran his fingers across his forehead. “I think he’s seizing.”

Helpless tears splashed my face. “No, he’ll be okay. He said he could do this. Adam, open your eyes.”

He didn’t. Now his shoulders shook, the tremor running down his back where a faint orange light flashed once.

“Take off his shirt,” I commanded.

Hanai’s eyes widened. “Gabby, come on. I know you guys like each other, but—”

“Just take it off, Hanai. I can’t touch him.”

“Do. It,” Adam growled through clenched teeth.

“Whatever you say.” Hanai lifted Adam’s T-shirt over his head.

The tattoo discolored his back, stained both shoulders. A few thin lines snaked over his collarbone and down his chest.

“The tattoo is growing, Adam. It’s covering your whole body.” The lines expanded, flowing under the waistband of his jeans—I jerked my eyes back to his face.

“Water,” Adam panted. “And you gotta leave, Gabby.”

I sprang up and handed Hanai the basin from the table by the door. “Get my father,” he said. Adam murmured instructions, but I left without waiting to see what happened next.

Full dark blanketed the camp. I wiped angrily at the tears flowing down my face. I couldn’t believe how blazing stupid I’d been.

I mean, really. I’d touched him.
Idiot.

I thought of Patches and how he’d said we couldn’t see each other anymore. While I’d nursed his tender flesh, he’d told me that he received a neurological message of the new target, and the lines of the tattoo held data and changed every time the sentry transmitted the information they’d gathered.