“So, Ethan and Sadie offered to watch the kids tonight.”
That caught my attention. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.
Maybe we can do something.”
“I would love to see you, Elisa. Can I take you out to dinner then for drinks?”
She was quiet for a moment. “How about we stay at your place?”
I felt my heart accelerate.
“My place?”
“Yeah.
I’ve never seen your apartment.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. Maybe I was jumping to conclusions
, but when a chick wanted to see my apartment that usually meant she wanted me to fuck her. I shook my head. I couldn’t think like that. Elisa wasn’t like that. She seemed genuinely interested in just seeing where I lived. “Yeah. I’ll come get you when you’re ready.”
“I’m ready now.”
“Great. I’ll be there soon.”
“Okay.”
“Bye.”
“Bye.”
I hung up the phone then left the apartment. We were so close to kissing the other night and I wondered if she wanted that to happen today. I really, really wanted to kiss her. Her lips always looked wet and delicious. I had never been more attracted to a woman than I was to her. When I thought about seeing her naked, I had to force the thoughts back. The arousal would consume me. I was always hard when I was around her even if we were just sitting on opposite couches. I felt like an adolescent pervert.
When I reached the apartment, Elisa answered it with a smile on her face. She wore tight jeans and a black blouse. Her shiny hair fell across her shoulders. She looked amazing.
“You’re as beautiful as ever,” I blurted.
She smiled. “Thank you.” She closed the door behind her and locked it.
“Does Ethan know where you’re going?”
“Yes.”
I raised an eyebrow. “And he’s okay with that?”
“Don’t worry about him, Jared. He finally stopped being psycho,” she said with a laugh.
“Phew.”
She laughed again. “Sadie is almost settled in the apartment.”
“I’m glad I didn’t have to help her.”
We walked down the street in the darkness. When Elisa wrapped her arm through mine
, I almost stopped. Her affection was always welcome but it still surprised me. When she hugged me, I almost fainted. I liked feeling her small arm next to mine. She clung to me like I was her boyfriend. I really liked the idea of that. I pulled my hand out of my pocket and wrapped it around her waist, holding her close to me. When she smiled at me, warmth radiated through my body.
“Are you okay with Sadie moving in?” I asked.
“Yes, of course. She’s always welcome with us.”
“Really?”
“I just feel bad that she has to stay with us. Ethan has his own life. I want him to move out and be happy with her. Just because Tom died doesn’t mean he has to sacrifice everything for me. I do appreciate everything he’s done, but I want him to be happy.
“Does he know that?”
“I told him many times. I don’t want him to lose Sadie over it. He said she doesn’t mind waiting a year. They just couldn’t stand to be apart during that time. As soon as the kids start school, I’m getting a job and kicking them out. My brother pushed me to date you, knowing how hard it was for me. Now I need to push him, help him get over the guilt he has.
“A year isn’t that long.”
“No, it’s not.
“You aren’t afraid to be on your own?”
“No. I can handle it. I’ve had enough time to move past Tom’s death. I think I can handle a full time job and my two babies. Life goes on. And even if I couldn’t, I would never tell Ethan that. I need him to leave and make a life with Sadie. The children and I will figure it out.
“No matter what happens between us, I’ll always be here for you. If you ever need anything, let me know.”
“My children are lucky they have so many people to love them.”
“Well, it’s hard not to. They’re pretty adorable.”
She blushed. “Thanks.”
We arrived at my building then took the elevator to my floor. I caressed her knuckles with my thumb while I held her hand. Her skin was soft and smooth. I wondered what the rest of her
body felt like. I stopped those thoughts before they led elsewhere.
When we walked inside the apartment, I immediately felt the tension in the air. We had been alone together before but never in a setting like this. No one would walk in on us or hear us. A small child wouldn’t run down the hallway and see us.
Elisa looked around the room. “It’s nice.”
“Uh
, thanks.” My apartment was ordinary. Sadie added some decorations so it wouldn’t look so much like a man cave but it still didn’t feel like a home.
She removed her coat then hung it over the couch. Her blouse fit her tightly and highlighted the curve of her breasts. I looked away so I wouldn’t start drooling l
ike an idiot.
“What do you want to do?”
she asked.
“Uh,” I stuttered. There were a lot of things I w
anted to do. “Wanna watch a movie?”
“Sure.”
I opened the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of wine. I poured the glasses then carried them to the couch. She sat next to me, right next to me. I could feel her thigh against mine. She was a lot more intimate than she ever was before. I liked it but I was frightened at the same time. When I glanced down to her finger, I saw that she still wore her wedding ring. I didn’t like the sight.
We leaned back in our seats and started to watch the movie. She leaned close to me and placed her hand on my thigh. There was a bulge in my pants and I hoped she didn’t notice it.
I felt like a horny teenager that was too nervous to move. If she was any other girl, I would have slept with her already. But she wasn’t any other girl. She was the love of my life.
Elisa moved even closer to me. I could feel her breaths fall on my neck. I wanted to kiss her, rub her tongue against mine, but I held back. I told her that I wouldn’t physically pursue her and I intended to keep my word. She would have to initiate it if she wanted it to happen. I refused to pressure her.
“Jared?”
“Yeah?”
I said as I looked at her. Her eyes reflected the light from the television. They were blue and beautiful, and reminded me of the ocean. They were bright from their own innate light. I was hypnotized by her features. She was so beautiful, perfect. I wish I had met her a long time ago. I wished that I were her husband and the father of her kids. I swallowed the lump in my throat as I waited for her to speak. I didn’t know what she was going to say.
“Kiss me.”
I cupped her face and pressed my forehead against hers. I stared at her lips for a long time before I leaned in and pressed my mouth against hers. Her lips were soft and wet. When I caressed them, I felt the fire ignite within me. I never felt that way when I kissed someone. My heart physically hurt from the pleasure I was feeling. I could feel all my love for her explode.
I was gentle with every kiss, wanting to feel every curve of her lips with my own. She was an amazing kisser. When she inserted her tongue within me, I actually shivered. She tasted sweet like assorted fruit on a summer day. I ran my fingers through her hair and felt the softness with my fingertips. It felt like silk.
Elisa placed her hand on my shoulder then dragged it down my chest, feeling the muscles underneath my shirt. I flexed so she could feel my strength and size. I wanted her to know that I was strong, that I could protect her. Her hands touched my hard stomach then glided back to my hair. I hoped she liked what she felt. All the other girls seemed to enjoy it.
The sound of
our wet kisses landed on my ears. The quiet smacking and flickering of our tongues was arousing. A small moan would escape her lips every few seconds. I loved hearing the sound. I wanted to listen to it on a grander scale while I made love to her. I pushed the thought back. I couldn’t think like that—especially now.
She gently pulled me forward as she l
ay down. I climbed on top of her then leaned over her, kissing her the entire way. I felt her breasts press against my chest. They were soft and firm. She wrapped one of her legs around mine, holding me to her.
I cupped her face while I kissed her, feeling the softness of her cheeks with my fingers. She was so gorgeous and I couldn’t believe she was kissing me. I loved her so much. I didn’t understand why, but I understood that I did. She was a strong woman who had suffered so much, but she still sm
iled every day like she was happy. She was sweet and caring, a wonderful mother. I fell for her the moment I saw her. My love wasn’t just a physical desire for her. I loved being around her and just talking to her.
Her hands glided up my shirt and felt the skin underneath. She felt my powerful chest and moaned as
her fingertips trailed over the muscles. I flexed again so she could feel every curve. She moaned again and I felt triumphant.
She grabbed the rim of my shirt then pulled it over my head. This was something I didn’t expect to happen. Stunned, I let her pull
the material away. She broke our kiss and stared at my body for a moment. She must have liked what she saw because she started kissing me again, feeling my strong back with her fingers. I thought about removing her shirt but I refused to do it. I didn’t mind taking off my clothes but I wouldn’t be able to control myself if she removed hers. I wouldn’t be a gentleman anymore.
She grabbed the rim of my pants and unbuttoned them. I had no idea what was going on. When she started to pull them down, I steadied her hand. “Elisa.”
“What?” she asked as she kissed me.
“We can’t do this.” I couldn’t believe what I was saying. I really wanted this to happen. I w
as stronger than I thought.
“And why not?”
“Because I’m in love with you.”
She pulled away and stared at me. Her eyes were soft.
I met her look. “If we do this then everything will change. I won’t be the same man. I’ll be jealous, controlling, obsessive, and protective. I’ll need to be with you all the time. You won’t be able to get rid of me because I’ll never leave. If you make love to me, I will possess you completely. You will be mine and no one else’s. This is very serious. I would be giving myself completely to you, becoming vulnerable to you. I’m already lovestruck over you, but it would be a million times more intense. If you make love to me, you are committing to me, telling me that you love me. There’s nothing I want more but only if you’re ready.” I rubbed my nose against hers. “So, are you ready? This has happened really fast. If you need more time to get to know me before you let me possess you completely, I understand. It’s frightening. I’ve never felt this way for someone before.”
She ran her fingers through my hair while she looked at me. “I—I don’t know.”
I felt my heart fall. That isn’t the response I was hoping for. I kissed her forehead. “That’s okay. I don’t want you to rush into something you aren’t ready for.”
“But I feel like I’m ready.”
“If you have any doubt then you aren’t.”
“I’m just afraid that I’m going to get scared and run away.”
I nodded. “Then please don’t do this with me. I couldn’t recover from the pain. I’m already madly in love with you.”
She rubbed my cheek with her palm.
“Before we got together, I took a girl back to her apartment to have sex with her.” Her eyes widened as she listened to me. “I wanted to forget about you and move on, but I couldn’t sleep with her. All I thought about was you. I just walked away.”
“Jared.”
“I love you, Elisa. Please don’t hurt me.”
“Okay,” she whispered. “I won’t.”
I kissed her. “Thank you.”
“So we shouldn’t do this?”
“No.”
“But I still want to—fool around. Is that okay?”
I smiled. “That sounds okay to me.”
She grabbed my face and kissed me again. After a moment
, her hands returned to the rim of my pants and she pulled them down. Now that I knew we wouldn’t have sex, I wasn’t so nervous. She ran her hands down my body then placed them on my ass, squeezing gently.
I decided to move this into the bedroom. I cradled her in my arms then carried her into my bedroom while I kissed her the entire way. When I laid her down, she pulled me on top of her. My bedroom was dark and quiet. I could hear every breath and every caress of her tongue. I loved the sound.
She grabbed the rim of my boxer shorts and pulled them down. I wasn’t embarrassed to let her see me naked, but I wasn’t sure why she wanted to. When I was completely naked, she broke our kiss and stared at me. “Jared, you’re so fucking hot.” She stared at my cock while she felt the muscles of my chest and stomach. She moaned as she stared at me.
“Thank you,” I said with a smile. “I’m all yours.”
She kissed my neck then trailed her kisses to my chest. I watched her for a moment, loving the feel of her kisses. “Jared, I want you inside me.”
I felt my skin prickle. “I know. It will happen eventually.”