Elusive Hero: Invitation to Eden (Vampire Queen Series Book 12) (38 page)

My lady, do not do this. Goddamn it.

She realized she hadn’t shut her mind to him as securely as she’d thought. She was still so hungry for his voice, to have any part of him inside her. In a matter of hours, she’d never see or hear from him again. She forced herself to shut her mind to his protests. Even now, his wrath could make her knees weak. That was her weakness to manage, as it always had been.

We’re done, Garron. Fantasy over. I’m sorry. None of this is your fault.

Richard had accepted the situation tonight, but if Garron was at a vampire dinner? Vampires held grudges, and Richard would make it his mission to bring Garron to his knees in whatever way that indulged his whims.

Bridget had said Vardalos had a night time office in one of the castle towers. A staff member was waiting to give her access through either a small elevator or a winding staircase. She chose the staircase.

The lack of human scent along the endlessly spiraling steps said it was rare anyone came this way. That suited her purpose just fine. The courteous, slim young man who’d let her through might have thought twice about letting her come up here if he’d known she intended violence once she reached her destination.

As she reached the top, she stepped into an anteroom between the elevator and Vardalos’s office. The elevator had polished wooden doors, limned with brass. The heavy oak panel doors across from it were cracked open. Disappointing, because she really wanted to wrench them off their hinges. Pushing that aside, she stepped through them.

The room reminded her of a wizard’s study. The huge desk was scattered with opened old books, scrolls on the floor. Two walls were all shelves of more books, bisected by a window seat that had three tall windows. The center one, a colorful stained glass, was fully revealed by the drawn curtain. The only light in the room came from it, some type of spotlight outside or a trick of the moon.

He was sitting in the shadows of one of the flanking windows. The curtains closed over it were a relentless black. He had his profile to her, though shadows cloaked his features, much as they had Garron that first day on the dock. She could tell Vardalos was looking out a crack in the curtain, though. There was a bemused expression on his face, as if he wasn’t really thinking about a vampire exsanguinating him.

“Do you think you can play games with me, Mr. Vardalos?”

The more she’d exerted herself to get here, the more enraged she’d felt, and not just because of what she’d had to watch Richard do to Garron. It was the whole intrusive situation, how she’d needed and wanted this fantasy so much she’d taken leave of her common sense to embrace it. It was Garron himself, everything she’d ever wanted in a Master.

“Not at all.” He turned his head slightly. If she’d had mortal sight, she wouldn’t have caught it, but she got a very brief impression of a badly scarred face, one that would make Garron’s look like fresh snow. “What can I do for you, Lady Kaela?”

“You promised me discretion. The privacy to make my fantasy into a reality without danger. Two vampires suddenly having the same week on Eden? That’s no coincidence. You deliberately risked my life.
His
life.”

She wouldn’t forgive that. Her life was irrelevant. So many emotions were choking her, she was back to wondering if it was even going to be worth living after she left Eden.

“Garron accepted the risks when he told me he wanted you—and you know I gave him all the information I had about your world, enough that he fully understood those risks.” His voice stayed even, that authoritative timbre enough to send shivers up her spine. She quelled them with her anger.

“No one fully understands those kinds of risks until it’s too late.”

“No. I suppose that’s true. We, each of us, take a great deal on faith.” He tilted his head, and she realized he still had his eyes on that crack in the curtain. The opening dropped a shaft of light across his thigh, so she saw the crease of his slacks, his other hand resting on that braced leg.

“Why did you do this?” She couldn’t keep the pain from surfacing.
Why did I do this?

He turned that scarred visage to her for a full second, something she expected he didn’t do often. Then the shadows reclaimed him. “I bent one promise to deliver on a more important one, my lady. What I really do here is make you see how to turn your fantasy into your reality. I’ve given you your fantasy, not just for Eden, but for always. You had to believe it was possible for you to have a human Master who’s also your full servant. You’re angry, frightened and unbalanced, which makes me think I was successful. The rest is up to you. The choice is yours.”

She sincerely considered tossing him head first through the window. “Even gods aren’t that arrogant.”

“Believe me, they are. And then some. Here comes your reality now. He made excellent time.”

Lights from three lamps came on, flooding the office with a golden light. The sound of that switch being flipped turned her toward the doorway, where Garron stood. When she glanced over her shoulder, she saw only Vardalos’s back, clothed in a well-tailored black suit. He made his exit through a panel in the wall that seamlessly closed behind him.

Garron was winded, angry and dressed, all things she regretted. She pivoted away from him, facing that spot Vardalos had vacated. Staring out the multi-colored panes of glass, she didn’t think she could bear looking at her Master, at what she wanted so much. The anger was receding, leaving a weariness.

“I didn’t come here for some magical solution to all of this,” she said slowly. “Just a break, a temporary break from always being expected to be something I’m not. That’s it. It wasn’t supposed to get this complicated. You weren’t supposed to be…everything I hoped you’d be.”

“Sorry to disappoint.”

She would have laughed, except she was pretty sure any emotional response like that would crack her open entirely. “Garron, I can’t do it to you. I just can’t. In my world—”

“In your world, it’s different. Servants have the choice to be servants and every other choice belongs to the vampire. I get it. But nothing’s changed about what I told you earlier. There are worlds inside of worlds, and I’m talking about the only one that counts. The one we create between you and me.”

He’d closed the distance between them. She shuddered at his nearness. She wanted to tell him not to touch her, that she couldn’t bear it, but she didn’t have the strength to deny him anything. Except this one thing.

“What they did to you tonight, that was nothing,” she said, low. “Richard and Tara are actually quite decent, as vampires go. It can be so much worse. It’s not just a matter of you not being able to handle it, Garron. I don’t think I could stand by and let it happen. I would get us both killed, because I won’t bear seeing my Master be treated like less than he is. Like something he’s not. Once they figure it out, you would be killed in front of me. I'd be executed or put under an overlord’s direct supervision, someone who could beat me into the vampire they think I need to be.”

“I’ve actually found beating you brings out more of your true self.”

She shook her head, tried to move away, but he wouldn’t let her. He closed his hand over hers at her side, just held it. When he slid his other arm around her waist, trying to turn her, she resisted. He moved his large palm to her neck, curving his fingers around her nape. “Kaela, look at me. You haven’t met my gaze since I came into the room.”

Because it was too hard. Too hard to show him everything she wanted, because she couldn’t hide it, not when it was just the two of them. But she obeyed, and that muscle in his jaw flexed as he saw it. His fingers were gentle, strong. “Just breathe with me,” he murmured. “Let’s just take a minute and let the universe stop spinning.”

“And let you get your breath back,” she observed, laying a hand on his chest, rising and falling faster than usual. His heart was still racing.

“I tend to put on some speed when someone’s going to kill my boss. He is the island’s major employer.”

“I believe he’s the island’s only employer.” His wry humor, his touch was helping, even though she shouldn’t let it. Shouldn’t let her defenses down. “I wasn’t going to kill him. Probably.”

Garron gave her his crooked smile. Backing up a pace or two to Vardalos’s desk, he propped his hips on it and drew her with him so she was standing between his spread feet. She put her hand back on his chest, her fingers curling into the silken mat of hair because he’d only donned slacks and shoes, his shirt having been sacrificed to the used toy bin. It had looked like a nice shirt. She owed him another one.

“They’ll wash and return it to me. The laundry does miracles here.” He touched her face. “You like to hear stories, right? I want to tell you a story. Will you listen?”

She stared at the gleam of the dark hair curling over her knuckles. He smelled so good, that aftershave scent. He’d dressed up for her tonight. “That may be the first time you really asked me anything. Most of the time you just tell me the way it’s going to be.”

“Yeah. I’m having a lax moment. You freaked out on me.”

She gave a half snort at the understatement of that. “Tell me a story.” She wanted to get lost in it. Go to sleep in his arms, never wake up.

He touched her chin, but he didn’t make her lift her face. “You know why I went into the military?”

She shook her head.

“I was a foster kid, Kaela. No family to call my own. Ran away a few times until I settled down at a reasonably decent place, which meant they kept me fed and clothed, didn’t smack me around or try to do worse to me. But one of those times I ran away, I found a place to sleep in an alley, next to a garbage heap. Bad smells are part of that and you keep your ears sharp for rustlings, because that means rats. Usually you just move away when the smell’s too bad or the rustling is too loud.”

He paused. “Something made me look that night. I found a pair of newborn twins, still bloody from being born. Somebody had stuffed them into the garbage. Not on top, in the open, in the hopes someone would find them. They were under other trash bags, someone wanting them to die there. Ironically, though that didn’t give them a lot of air, it kept them warmer.”

Thinking of the infant he’d found in the explosion, her heart tightened.

“Yeah. It was another reason finding that arm affected me the way it did, not that something like that needs anything to make it worse. But when I was holding that little arm, it took me back to that night.”

He looped his arms loosely around her waist, drew her closer, his knuckles resting on the rise of her buttocks. “I didn’t even think. Just took off my shirt, wrapped them both up and ran. The nearest hospital was a couple miles away. I could have hailed any adult, a cab, whatever. It was a wretched part of town and I didn’t trust anyone, but it wasn’t that. All I could think of was getting them there. When I stumbled into the ER, peeled back my shirt and showed them to the on-duty nurse, I remember how the whole waiting area just burst into activity. Not just the nurses and doctors. It seemed even the people there for treatment, everyone from street trash to the middle class wife who’d cut herself with a knife, were suddenly invested in making sure these babies had a chance. You know, one of those rare scenarios where you wake up from your life and realize it’s all for one, and one for all.”

Her throat ached. “Vampires don’t have a lot of those moments.”

“No, I expect they don’t.” He released her to take her hand once more, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles as if lost in thought.

“What happened?” She made herself ask when the silence grew and added to that ache, to the point she couldn’t bear what wasn’t being said. All the things she wished could be.

“One of them was already dead.” He shook his head. “I remember this young doctor coming to tell me. He looked tired, overworked, probably doing his residency. Yet he still had heart enough to go look for the kid who brought them in, and tell me the twin had been dead for a few hours before I found them. If he hadn’t, I’d have always wondered if those twenty minutes I spent in the alley before I looked had been the tipping point for her. But he didn’t leave it there. He shook my hand and told me, ‘To that little girl who survived, for the rest of her life, no matter where you are, what you’re doing, even if you never see one another again, you’ll always be a hero.’”

He raised his gaze to her. “You know the very first thing that crossed my mind? ‘Well, that kinda depends on the life she has from here forward, doesn’t it, doc?’ I don’t know what kind of life she has. I hope it’s a good one. Sometimes when I can’t think of anything to pray for, I pray for that. When I woke up in the hospital after getting blown to bits, the first thing I thought was ‘I hope she had a good day today.’ Everything bad that happens in my life, I go back to thinking of her.”

Seeing how it mattered to him so much after all these years, reminded her of the girl she’d been, standing by Jared’s grave. Some things never healed.

“Garron—”

He shook his head. “I’m almost done. Let me finish. When I sat down with a recruiter on my eighteenth birthday, he told me the army could become my family. I’ve been lied to a lot in my life, and I knew some of that was propaganda. But he was one of the ones who believed in it, because he’d seen it work. It did for me. The point of all this is, I realized what things are meaningful, and what things you do to get by. We all put on masks, but my lady, over all these decades, you let that mask become part of your face, take over your soul. We took it back, you and me, in less than three days. You made me feel a connection that I know is real, true, and permanent. Meant to be. That has to mean something, something that translates beyond this island.”

Tears spilled out of her eyes and he reached up, brushed them off with gentle fingertips. When he closed a hand on her shoulder, she knew she was rigid. As if hardening herself to receive a blow that was going to hurt almost more than she could bear. He kept on pressing, though.

“I told you I started as a bell boy here, and when they’re short-handed, I still do it. When I bring bags to people's rooms, take care of what they need, I enjoy that, because though they might not get it or see it this way, they’re looking to me to watch out for them and their belongings. Caring for someone as a Dom is just a different form of what you feel as a submissive, and my understanding of that is what made every minute of what we were doing with those vampires possible. I know who I am, my lady, and what matters and what doesn’t. I want to be with you. That's one of the real things that matter. That's worth everything else.”