Authors: Anne Gabriels
Allan was seated comfortably on a faded blanket that was spread out on the warm white sand in front of the lake, with Jules at his side. He thought of his mom for the first time in years. As he recalled the most painful experience of his childhood, he felt the need to be understood at a deeper level and decided to share it with her
. After all, she was his closest friend, and he knew that she was also grieving for his lost brother.
“I never told you about my
mother,” he started softly and stopped, lost in thought. “She went to Happy Endings when I was ten.”
“Was she sick
?”
“She was always sad, for as long as I could remember,” Allan gave her a long look, and then he continued. “I told you I was born in vitro. My
father said that from the moment they met she started to change and eventually lost interest in life. He loved her very much and wanted to have children with her, so she agreed to give it a try. She knew about women having post-partum depression and she told him she was depressed enough as it was. So they planned me and had me placed in a lab until I was born, so to speak.
“Even with all their precautions, she got even more depressed after I was born. For ten years she struggled to stay in the moment with us; trying to enjoy us, to enjoy herself, but nothing was strong enough to keep her grounded. She just wanted her life over and, in her words, on to other planes of existence.
“One day she explained to me that she envied me for always having fun and that she wanted to be happy too. She asked if I would help her. Of course I said yes, what kid doesn’t want to help make their mother happy? And then she told me that she would like to invite me and my father to accompany her to Happy Endings, so I could see her smile, laugh, and be happy at last.
“I asked her if, after that, she would be happy to play with me and read me stories. But she said that, no, she would be gone for good, somewhere else, somewhere where she would always remember me with
love and where she would live forever at peace, waiting for me to join her one day. And
then
we would be happy together forever. Me, my father, and her.”
Allan remembered how he started to cry, knowing it was wrong to do so, because men don’t cry, but she was his
mother and he didn’t want to lose her and he kept wondering why she didn’t love him enough to stay and be happy with him.
She wouldn’t change her mind. He remembered finding his
father crying one night, when he thought Allan was asleep. He was talking to Mother downstairs and asking her what was wrong with her, why couldn’t she just live with them? He asked her if she wanted time away from them and offered to let her be by herself, if this is what she truly wanted.
She kept saying no, she did not want to be free; she just couldn’t stand life any longer. There was nothing to look forward to. She just wanted out, to explore the unknown; that there was life after death and that our life here on Earth was just a pale shadow of the beauty of the next life. She couldn’t wait any longer to live in it.
“One day we all went to the Happy Endings complex,” Allan continued his recollection. “We entered the building and it was truly beautiful inside. All the walls were 3D screens and we could see projections of heavenly realms with whirling colors creating all kinds of abstract shapes and hypnotic images of wormholes drawing you in. On other screens, ethereal creatures were flying through rainbows, winged people with happy faces were chasing each other in and out of pastel clouds, while music as I’d never heard before was coming from harps and flutes and violins, enveloping us.”
Allan remembered how he felt such a desire to be part of that world, to go there and be forever with his
mother, that he couldn’t stop shaking like a leaf.
“I asked my
mother if I could join her and turned to my father and said we should all go, but my mother had her eyes on the videos on the walls. She was looking at each of the screens with hungry eyes and she didn’t even hear me.
“My
father grabbed me by the shoulders, looked down into my eyes and told me to be strong; that he was there for me and that there was enough beauty in Elysian Fields. He assured me we had enough time to explore the world beyond. He also told me that those were just animations, fantasies, and that the real world was ours.
“I
wanted to tell my mother to stop, to see that they were not real, but she seemed to read my thoughts. She said that she knew they were man-made, but they had a divine inspiration, and this was what she was looking for.”
“We went to the reception area,” Allan continued, “and a beautiful woman dressed in a white robe welcomed her with a hug. She had the face of an angel; a long face, with yellow curls framing her face and blue eyes resting on my
mother. Then she looked at father and I, bowed her head in salutation and told us how happy she was that we came to celebrate together, as a family, the end of the mortal life and the birth of the eternal one. She took us to a large amphitheater and asked mother to say goodbye to us and to prepare for a new rebirth in the forever lasting world of next.”
Allan remembered his
mother, who had turned to him and opened her arms to embrace him, her dark eyes sparkling with excitement for the first time that he could remember. He hugged her tight, tears running down his cheeks, and trembled in fear of losing her forever. Finally understanding what was going on, he asked her to please change her mind, but she looked deep in his eyes turned upwards to hers and whispered, “Soon, my son, soon we’ll be reunited. This world is but a second in eternity.” She let go of him to say goodbye to Father.
Father
held her in his arms and breathed her in, but said nothing. His eyes were dead. Allan knew what he was thinking because he was thinking the same thing. She did not love him enough. She did not love either of them enough to keep on living.
He put his arm around Allan’s shoulders and they stood together, drowning in mutual feelings of inadequacy and loss.
“Mother took a seat at the front of the amphitheater. We were her only audience, for she did not want others to accompany her on her final journey. She looked at the huge screen in front of her, which was showing an immaculate park in front of a majestic building with tall, marble columns. We stood at the back and waited for the procedure to start. Father grabbed my hand and began to squeeze it a little too hard, but I didn’t want him to let go.”
Allan remembered s
everal people in white robes coming in with instruments on a cart and started to work around her, hooking her up to all kinds of receptacles protruding from around her armchair. They spoke in low voices to her, asking several questions regarding her last wishes and the way she envisioned herself in her future plane of existence.
“I
only heard fragments of the conversation, but I could see her beautiful profile, her long dark hair framing her graceful face and the beginning of a smile, the corner of her lip raised in pleasant expectation. I wondered how someone could be so sure of life after death
.
I could not think of any reasonable answer. I looked up at father to ask him, but the question died on my lips once I saw the strain on his face.”
With an involuntary shudder he recalled the memory, the image on the screen coming to life, and he
could see several people in white robes coming out of the building and walking towards them. Mother moved in her chair as if she was trying to get up and move towards them, but the instruments around her immobilized her.
Then a robed person appeared close
up on the screen, back facing them, and they could see the slim figure wearing that robe moving away and towards the people who had come to receive her. The figure had long, wavy, dark hair and she moved with a grace that seemed familiar to him. When she approached the others, she opened her arms and they all closed together in a tight group hug, as if lost friends had been reunited after a long absence. When she turned her face towards the camera, he could see the face of his mother, the way she looked when she was young. “My god,” his father gasped, “That’s Lucia, your mother, Allan. Exactly like she looked when we fell in love.” He dropped into a nearby chair.
“Indeed, she was my mother, no one else. She waived her hand at us, blew a kiss and then walked away with the others. The screen went blank and a voice announced that the ceremony was over.
”
The people with the instruments, who had been
silent witnesses the whole time, returned to his mother, checked her pulse and declared her departed. They did not use the word dead, just departed.
His
father went to her, placed a kiss on her head and a hand on her neck to check for himself that she had no pulse, then came to him. Allan was not able to go closer, not even to go touch her again. He felt numb and paralyzed, not able to move an inch. His father helped him get up from the chair he had sat down in when he moved away, and they made their way back home as if in a trance.
“We
never spoke about her from that day on.” Allan looked utterly exhausted, having relived every second of that agonizing experience.
“Oh, Allan, I’m so sorry.” Jules almost cho
ked on her words, tears flowing from her eyes. “You must miss her so much.”
“This might sound cold, but not really. She made a choice and I still haven’t forgiven her for it. It’s one thing to lose someone in an accident or because of some incurable disease, but as it happened, she chose to leave. I miss the family life we could have had, but it hurts that she didn’t even seem to want it.”
Allan looked at Jules, feeling her so very close to his heart, and a deep need to hold her in his arms and forget about the past made his soul ache. Yet he didn’t make any attempt to get closer to her and hold her. He could not forget Jules kissing Lan in front of the house on the day of the attack, followed by Lan’s death. He had seen them well enough through the window, and there was nothing he could do; he couldn’t compete for the love of this girl with a ghost, not when it came to Lan.
Tom was staring out the large windows of his study, his back to Serge. The beautiful landscape of his property oftentimes relaxed him, but his mind never stopped thinking of the complicated issues they were facing, each of them requiring his attention.
His thoughts had been focusing
on a disturbing revelation brought about when he had ordered an autopsy of Thomas’ body.
Jackie, the young coroner, had revealed that Thomas had computer chips
embedded deep in his brain. She had said according to her findings, Thomas must have had these implanted when he was still in stasis. He had to have been very young, a fetus even, to be able to successfully combine the organic with the synthetic so seamlessly.
“Do you think he was in control of his mind or was someone else controlling his thoughts and reactions?” Tom had asked her.
“I don’t really know,” she had replied. “But given the intricacies of the electronic circuits in his brain, I can tell you that he was meant to be able to act on his own, yet still kept under control. He might have been connected wirelessly, it’s hard to say. In any case, this is technology beyond my understanding.”
“
Do you know anybody to consult?”
“Dr. Jones is our most prominent surgeon here and the OR department head. He might be able at least to give you better answers, though I’d use caution since he could even be privy to such experiments.”
Going over that conversation in his mind again and again, Tom thought of the course of action he would take, and decided he would start by talking to Dr. Jones, who he had known since he was a boy. When he had to decide whether to acquire his own clone, he’d consulted with Jones, then had ultimately refused. And yet, his copy had been developed regardless, and by someone who had wanted to do away with him, for reasons he still hadn’t uncovered.
“Things are in motion, Tom,” Serge announced his presence with his baritone voice. Tom turned around and greeted his comrade and
lifelong friend with a nod.
“We are monitoring the movements of the most important members of the community, city council members included,” Serge started. “Somebody must be awa
re of manipulated clones in our midst, but we don’t have the equipment to detect the electronic components that identify them as such, not with so many distinguished people having all kinds of implants.”
“We have to somehow single out the ones who have had their brains altered,” Tom replied. “I saw Thomas’ brain on the dissection table: his brain was clearly different from anything I’ve seen. The implants were done in the developmental stages as a clone, everything so deeply intertwined that it could not have been done recently. How do we detect that short of a CAT scan?”
“I don’t know, but somebody has to know more. I don’t understand why you’re keeping this a secret from the kids. Why don’t we ask Daniel and David? Between the two of them, they might have the answer.”
“Maybe I’m wrong to do so, but I cannot bear to lose Allan like I did
Lan.” He turned to face Serge. “If any of them had any knowledge of such a thing they would have said something. Neither Daniel nor Jules were privy to such experiments. David hasn’t mentioned anything. I’m afraid if Allan finds out, he’ll be by my side at all times, trying to protect me. The farther he is from me the better. This is something we have to do on our own.”
Serge shook his head. “Coincidentally, I also came here to tell you that I talked to Allan and he thinks we should
try again, with the ideas you had, to hopefully penetrate the fog. It’s time to find out about what happened to the world. If it’s distance from him you want, this is a good option.”
Tom nodded. “Agreed, but there are so many things to deal with. Our city needs so much help, without even knowing it. I don’t want to spread ourselves too thin by trying too many things at once. What if we
succeed in going outside and thus make the city vulnerable? For all we know, we’re letting the forces that keep us in know that we have become aware of them. Maybe we should find out first who our enemy is from within, and then fight the enemy outside.”
“What enemy outside? What makes you think there is an enemy out there? At least send out scouts to tell us what we’re going to have to deal with. We cannot play this game blindfolded; we need the knowledge that gives us power.” Serge fell into silence, as if weighing whether to continue or not, then he seemed to have made up his mind.
“Tom, brother, what’s going on with you? We need your leadership and you seem afraid of taking any definite action. You are beating around the bush, going in large circles around the issues. What’s troubling you?” The concern in his voice got Tom to start opening up to his old comrade.
“Everybody is expecting me to take charge and lead them to victory. But I
’m not prepared for this. Who is? I failed the whole city years ago by not seeing through this web of deception, and I was in charge of city security. Then I spent months in hiding and planning my next move. I thought I was being decisive and yet, I got Lan killed. I’m starting to suspect my wife may not have been in control of her mind either, and I couldn’t save her all those years back. What if I make mistakes again? What if I lose all of you? How can I live with myself after that? Go to Happy Endings? Our training was lacking a lot; we were all complacent and lived under a veil of a false security. I personally consider myself not up to the challenge,” he ended in a weak voice, facing Serge, feeling his face sagging and his eyes stinging with tears.
“You are the best we have, Tom. The best of the best or the best of the worst, I don’t really care. We all look up to you and we trust you. There is no one better, not even me,” he winked, trying to lighten up the atmosphere. “Do you think that heroes are made of special ma
terial? That they have a magical essence or charisma or what have you, to surround them with a certain aura and to make them incapable of making mistakes? Guess what, if you read of such invincible and flawless people, you did it in fiction books or in records ordered by the victors, trying to hide their weaknesses.
“We don’t expect you to do it all by yourself. How about you start by building up the people you trust, empowering them to be the best they can be? How about using all their minds and hearts to help our society, so we can grow inside from the little seeds of hope for a better future? Not all is bad in the world. Just look
at what happens in the Scrappie compound. Those people are changed, they have a purpose now and they need all we can give them. Help them be more sustainable, don’t just feed them; listen to Daniel and help them feed themselves.”
“All right. There is no way out for me, not when you talk like that. Thank you, brother, I don’t know what has gotten into me.” Tom smiled, the heaviness
from his voice lifted a bit.
Serge stretched his legs on the couch facing the desk
, feeling a sense of relief. Tom took a seat at his desk and continued.
“Daniel and I talked
about having some of the Servers who live in the Elites’ compound go out to the Scrappies and teach them how to work the land, plant some vegetable gardens. It’s still early in the season. Then we can ask the Elites to give away some of their fresh vegetables and even donate some of their animals, so we can have fresh milk and eggs and meat for the increased population.” Tom felt excited with the beginning of a new plan, a good plan for a start.
“That’s a great idea,” Serge
said. “It will get their lazy Server butts away from the Digiscreens for a change, and perhaps bring some new hope to them, too.”
“But how are we going to alter their perception that the Scrappies are outlaws and freaks?”
“Start with short reports of little kids needing help and broadcast some video clips of a couple of gardens, such as the one attended by Mel, Jules, and Daniel. Show kids playing with little animals and people working together and laughing, then some dancing and group games, anything to attract them to go there and be part of something different.”
“Not bad, for a military man,” Tom felt his lips rise in a smile. “I have to talk to the guys,
especially David, to see what his friends at the broadcast station can do, and with Daniel and Mel to see how we can manage the whole affair. Also, the city council will have to be convinced it’s the right thing to do and that it will not jeopardize their interests or way of life. With their Servers and their produce being shared with the others, I’m sure that’s not going to be an easy task.”