Embers & Ice (Rouge) (13 page)

After
a moment, Will turned back to her. “The doctors thought I wouldn’t live. They
gave up on me. But someone noticed my apparent strength as I clung to life in a
hospital bed after my father beat me within an inch of my life and decided to
experiment with my biology – secretly, I might add. He changed something in me,
gave me the ability to regenerate. That man’s name is Dr. Albert Rosenthal.”

Hunter
frowned. “Dr. Rosenthal?”

“You
met him?”

“Yeah.
I woke up beside him after you knocked me out in the Orb. But what was he doing
in London?”

“I’ve
asked him consistently, but he has never told me the truth. I remember the day
I first met him in the hospital in London, the day he told me how I survived
the accident and what I could do with my body. He said-” Pausing, Will stared
at the mattress between them and ran his fingers down one of the seams. “He
said ‘No manmade formula can ever protect you from the pain of a life without
love. Every bruise, every fracture, every slice in your skin will heal, but there
are some wounds that never heal completely.’” He stared around at the dark,
shadowed room. “I grew up in a family that neglected me, and then I came here,
where the nights were cold and dark dreams haunted my sleep and no one ever
held me. The only people I let in were Fearne and Dr. Rosenthal. He became like
a father to me. A father I never had.”

“Why
didn’t your parents take you back from the hospital?” she asked. “Did Dr.
Rosenthal bring you here?”

Will
let out a small, bitter chuckle that raised the hairs on Hunter’s arms. “After
they discovered what I’d turned into at the hospital, they took one look at me
and closed the door in my face. They didn’t want a ‘mutant’ son, not when they
had a reputation to uphold. A part of me thinks that my father couldn’t bear to
look at me after what he almost…” Will couldn’t seem to finish his sentence.
“Dr. Rosenthal brought me here. Later I heard him and Dr. Wolfe talking about
my parents, that they told the police I’d run away.”

“I’m
sorry,” she said.

“Why
should you be, it wasn’t your fault.”

“I’m
sorry I thought that my life was any worse than yours. There can be nothing
more terrible than growing up here.” She looked around as he had, at the long
cracks in the walls and the dirty stains on the concrete. Then her eyes met
his, shaded by loose locks of hair not tucked behind his ears, pained from the
memory of his horrible childhood. “I understand now why you’re so quiet and…
broken.”

Again,
he chuckled. “So I’ve not had a very colorful life. I’m still alive, right? I’m
strong. Ish,” he added. “It’s because of my past that I’m able to keep living.”

“That
makes no sense. If anything, you should be crazy by now. Like Fearne.”

“She’s
not crazy,” he growled. Hunter flinched at the ice in his tone, and his eyes
fluttered. “Sorry. I just mean there’s nothing crazy about her. When I arrived
here, I was kept separate from the others. I was young, but not the youngest.
You were there, in the nursery, and then one day you were gone.” His eyes swum
with a memory of the night Joshua took her away from ICE. “For many years I
didn’t speak to anyone, only Dr. Rosenthal. I ignored the others that tried to
comfort me when I was moved into the cells upstairs. I lived for so long
without a purpose. Dr. Rosenthal tried to help; he put others up to the
challenge of at least having a conversation with me. Some succeeded, but I was
just too sad to talk. Until a little three-year-old girl arrived. I was
fourteen. She was so fragile, with her big green eyes and the light that
radiated from her.” He breathed a laugh, shaking his head, his eyes swimming
with tears. Hunter didn’t realize until her vision started to blur that she was
crying too. “She came straight to my table at breakfast, sat down with me, and
started talking.”

“What
about?”

Will
smiled at the memory. “I have no idea. Everything that came out of her mouth I
didn’t understand. But listening to her became one of the best things that had
happened to me here. It wasn’t a therapist or one of the other kids telling me
I needed to cheer up or that everything would be okay. It was just a little
girl, talking to me. And it was nice.”

Smiling,
Hunter finally felt the courage to ask what she’d been thinking since the
moment they were alone together.

“Will,
why am I here with you?”

“I
just… I thought we should talk about what happened. In the bathroom and in the
Orb. We hadn’t been introduced before we were thrown together into the Lion’s
Den.”

“But
you saved me from Jamison,” she said. “Why did you do that when you knew you’d
get in trouble?”

“Come
on Hunter.” He smiled and swung his legs off the bed. “Don’t look at me and
tell me you don’t have a hero tendency that comes with your powers. You
practically shielded me with your body when the acid rain was falling.”

“I
couldn’t stand there and watch you melt.”

“Exactly.”
He opened a drawer and peered inside it. “I heard a scream as I was passing,
and when I saw him on top of you I couldn’t walk away.”

He
has a point,
the fire reminded her, its opinion a nuisance
to her at that moment. Hunter sighed and let her fingers dance through the
flame of the candle. She was sure there was more to it.
He tries so hard to
deny his goodness,
she thought,
and doesn’t see the signs that prove it.
Will is a true hero. And a true hero does not boast of their abilities. They
refute it with modesty.

“You
fought back too, you know,” he rubbed his arm as he sat down opposite her
again, his smile tipping to the side. “I remember.”

“Well…
when you lose everything, you have nothing left to live for.”

Will
gazed at her with fire in his eyes. “If you’ve got nothing left to live for,
why are you still fighting?”

For
a long time, his stare remained that way. It did not soften or lose its
fierceness and emotion. The tension in the room was so strong Hunter felt every
muscle in her body freeze in place. The sheer depth of his eyes trapped her and
caused the fire to roar and swirl inside her until her breath caught in her
throat.

Then,
Will reached into his pocket and drew something out of it. He lifted the
object, placed it between his lips and slowly lowered his head to meet the
flame of the candle she was holding.

Oh
God.
Her insides melted.
He’s found my kryptonite.

Will
inhaled, smoke billowing around him, and frowned at what would have been a very
disturbing expression on her face. “Sorry, do you mind?”

“Where
did you get that?” she breathed.

He
plucked the cigarette out of his mouth and smiled. “I won them in a poker game
with one of the guards. Here,” he shuffled closer to her so their knees were
touching and stuck the cigarette in her mouth before she could protest. “You’re
practically drooling.”

With
eyes darker than the sky at midnight, he watched her inhale with his lips
stretching into a sly grin. The toxic smoke danced around her and Hunter felt
as though she might collapse from relief. Ignoring the glimmer of amusement in
Will’s eyes, she inhaled deeper. Oh, it was glorious.

“How
long has it been since you’ve had a smoke?” he asked.

“Since
I’ve been here.” She blew out a long draft. “I was never addicted, I just did
it because the smoke soothed me and it helped me relax sometimes. What about
you?”

He
pointed to himself with the cigarette. “Immortal. Lung cancer is irrelevant.”

She
huffed a laugh and coughed, waving the smoke away. Will’s smile widened, and it
was beautiful. Perfect white teeth, creases on each side and a real glow in his
eyes. Eli had a great smile, but Will’s was immaculate. Perhaps that was
because he rarely smiled, and to see it was just as breathtaking as a clear sky
after a storm. Hunter cursed herself for the feelings that stirred inside her,
but she was only human. Any girl would be swooning right now.

“Too
much for you is it?” he chuckled.

Hunter
opened her mouth to retort, but only a cough came out. Will laughed, and it was
so loud and surprising and wonderful that Hunter started coughing harder, and
then they couldn’t stop. Will was laughing at her coughing fit and the tears
rolling down her eyes, and Hunter was laughing at how utterly ridiculous and
high pitched his laugh was. After a moment, the both of them were wheezing and
lying side by side on the reeking bed amidst their cloud of smoke.

For
the next five, ten, sixty minutes – or however long it was – she and Will lay
there in comfortable silence together, making formless shapes with the smoke.

“Will…”
she whispered. “Can we do this again? I like being here with you. It’s
comforting.”

He
turned his head and gazed at her. She was sure she saw relief in his eyes, or
perhaps it was uncertainty. It could have been both. But whether Will was
afraid or not, he said “okay” and smiled.

PART 4

A GREATER LOVE

TWENTY-FOUR

Joshua
is going to murder me
.

Eli
rested his forehead against the cool glass of the cab as they passed Lake
Johanna outside the city of Minneapolis, trying to still the rapid beating of
his heart. The pink slip of paper in his hands was crumpled and torn from how
many times he’d scrunched it up on the ride. He was so close now, he could
almost see his mother’s face when she opened the door.

All
it took was one phone call to his grandmother in Chicago. Joshua didn’t know,
and that didn’t matter. Sure, Eli was risking his identity and his safety by
leaving the hotel, but he couldn’t pass through the city without at least
trying to get in contact with the mother that abandoned him nine years ago.
Even just to see her face, to ask her why she left.

His
fears grew from hills to mountains as the taxi cab pulled up in front of a
simple suburban house. The setting sun made the white walls glow brightly and
the chime hanging by the front door jingled in the breeze. Eli didn’t move from
his seat and the meter continued to go up.

Mom
is right there,
he thought.
Just a few steps away. What if
she closes the door in my face? What if she refuses to see me? What if she
isn’t home?

All
his life, he dreamed of that moment. But it all seemed too good to be true.

“This
is the house, kid,” grumbled the driver. “You gonna get out or what?”

Eli
frowned at him. “Are you sure?”

“Been
a cab driver in this city for thirty-two years,” he replied. “Trust me, I know
these streets. That’ll be twenty-seven fifty.”

In
a daze, Eli handed over the cash and stepped out of the cab. He stood on the
sidewalk between two crab-apple trees for what felt like hours. He soon found
the courage to force his legs to the front door and knock. He’d come this far.
Might as well get his answers.

There
were running footsteps to the door and Eli felt his heart leap into his chest.
The door opened to no one. Frowning, Eli looked down and saw a small girl of
about five wearing a blue princess dress and her blond hair in pig-tails. She
peered up at him from behind the door.

Eli
couldn’t find his voice.
I definitely have the wrong address.

“Are
you the mail man?” the little girl asked.

Eli
started to back away. “Uh… I…”

“Sia,
honey, who–”

A
man appeared in the doorway. He was tall with sandy-blond hair tucked behind
his ears. He had chiseled features and a serious country vibe. As he smiled at
Eli, he swung the little girl up into his arms and rested her on his hip.

“Can
I help you?”

“I’m…
I’m sorry,” he stuttered. “I think I have the wrong address.”

“You’re
looking for the old Andersons, right?” The man stepped outside quickly, causing
Eli to back up against the porch banister. For some reason, he feared the man
was about to punch him. “They’re down at number twenty-five. Everyone gets us
mixed up. I’m Dean Anderson, by the way.”

Mom
can’t be living here.
“Yeah, I definitely have the wrong
address. I’m looking for a Mary Akerman.”

“Mary?”
he frowned. “That’s my wife. She’s upstairs.”

Eli
suddenly wanted to keel over and die. He gripped the banister for support and
Dean rushed forward to help him.

“Woah,
are you okay there Bud?”

“She’s
here?” he croaked out. “Mary’s here?”

“Yeah.
She’s working in the study. Wait… who are you?”

Eli
looked up at Dean – his Stepdad – and blurted out, “I’m her son.”

“Mary!”
Dean called from the front door.

“What?”
came the reply that flipped Eli’s stomach over. He couldn’t turn back now – she
was already coming.

“There’s
someone here to see you!”

“Who
is it?” Her voice hadn’t changed. Still melodic and silky. It blasted him with
memories of his childhood, of when his mother used to sing him to sleep at
night or read to him or encourage him to play the violin. He had barely enough
time to prepare himself before she appeared in the doorway beside her husband.

She
wore a smart pantsuit with an electric-blue blouse underneath. Work clothes, he
presumed. She looked immaculate with her hair twisted up into a bun on her
head. They made a very attractive couple.

It
had been nine years, but she still knew him. Her green eyes, identical to his,
widened. He stood frozen in her gaze, his shoulders shaking and tears brimming
in his eyes.

“Hey
Mom,” he muttered.

Her
breath caught in her throat. “Eli? What are you doing here?”

He
shrugged. “I uh… I was in the neighborhood. So, what happened to you not
wanting to live in a city again, huh?”

She
sniffed and glanced up at Dean. “Things change when you fall in love.”

“Yeah.
I noticed.”

At
that, Mary squeezed between her husband and the doorframe and wrapped her arms
around Eli’s neck. He melted into the embrace. His heart beat with happiness
like charged electrons, the feeling of finally being home taking away all his
fears. She still smelled like jasmine. Eli clung to her and never wanted to let
go.

“I’m
so glad to see you Eli,” she said and stepped aside. “Join us for dinner?”

“Oh,
that reminds me–” Dean dropped Sia gently and ran into the kitchen. “The pizza
is probably burnt!” 

Eli
felt strange as he entered his mother’s home. He walked by the walls filled
with photos and memories that were not at all familiar to him. This was the
life he could have had with his mother if she had only taken him with her.
Instead, he was stuck with a father who had no time for homemade pizza.

They
sat down at the island in the bright kitchen.

The
smell was overwhelming. Sia sat low and colored in while Dean sliced the
pizzas.

Eli
kept glancing at his mother, wondering if she was real.

“How
did you two meet?” he asked.

“At
a conference a few years ago,” she said. “I got an internship at a publishing
house, and Dean was a writer. We were married a year later.”

“And
is… is she yours?” Eli nodded at Sia, who had dribbled juice all down her
dress.

“Not
technically,” she replied. “Dean’s first wife died when Sia was a baby.”

“I’m
sorry.”

“It’s
okay,” said Dean with a smile at Mary. “Sia is lucky to have this beautiful
woman as her new mother.”

Mary
squeezed his hand, but it made Eli feel sick.

“Why
didn’t you call? Or email? Or explain to me why you left me with Dad? Was it
just too hard to make the effort to see your own son, even if you couldn’t stand
to be around Dad?”

“I…
I’m sorry Eli. My life with your father did not turn out at all like I planned.
I rushed into marriage because it was so glamorous. I was young and naïve and I
didn’t have a plan for my life. I fell pregnant with you, and I couldn’t get
myself out fast enough. I fell into depression when you were young. Harvey
became more and more business focused with the company making millions, and… it
just came to a point when I knew I needed to start my life again.” Dean rubbed
her back soothingly as she spoke. “I wanted to take you with me, but I was
afraid Harvey would want to share custody and I just… I couldn’t see him
again.”

Eli
snorted. “That’s a joke. Dad would have given anything to ship me off to
boarding school, given the chance. He was never a good father to me.”

“Oh
sweetie, no. Your father loved you more than anything. More than his job, more
than me. You were the best thing that ever happened to him.”

Feeling
as though someone had gripped his heart tight, Eli couldn’t finish his pizza.
His father
hated
him. He ignored him, he pressured him, he tried to make
him a businessman and force his life down a path Eli couldn’t bear to think
about, let alone live.

“He
had a shit way of showing it,” Eli grumbled. Dean and Mary glanced at Sia, who
was completely oblivious of the cursing going on around her.

“Maybe…
maybe he didn’t know how to be a father alone. Despite being a confident
billionaire, Harvey was never good at relationships. He turned to his work to
escape the pressure. I can imagine that’s what happened to… to you…”

Mary
started sobbing. Dean pulled her into his arms, giving Eli a look that said
‘you should probably let it go now’. But Eli wanted more. He was finally
discovering the truth behind his lonely life, and he wanted some sort of
payback for the years he spent in his father’s shadow, tied down instead of
free.

“Eli
if… if there was a way I could take it all back, I w–”

“Too
late,” he grumbled. “You made your choice years ago.”

“Yes,”
she said. “And now I’m pregnant.”

Eli
slipped off his chair weightlessly. Everything felt suddenly wrong. The fact
that she was pregnant made it official: There was no room in her life for him.
She had moved on completely.

He
backed away from his mother, wishing he’d never come. Wishing he’d never met
Dean or Sia or walked into their perfect life in their perfect house. It was
completely wrong, and he wanted no part in it.

“Eli–”

“I’m
leaving. This was a mistake,” he said through his teeth.
What did you
expect, a happy reunion?
The voice in his mind was like a stab through his
chest, but it was right.
Your mother moved on the moment she moved out.
You’re too late for things to go back to the way they used to be. She left you
for a different life. A better life.

“Please,
Eli, can we just talk some more?” Mary left her chair and started towards him.
Eli was frozen in her hypnotizing gaze. His heart ached to be a part of their
home and forget the past nine years, just like he’d forgotten the past ten
months. “Sweetie, please?” She trailed a finger down his cheek. Eli melted at
her touch. “Please forgive me.”

The
urge to nod and hug his mother and cry with her and forget was stronger than
ever. Eli had grown up learning to please people, to not speak his own mind but
to do what’s right and expected of him. His father taught him that.
Respect,
Son, that’s what gets you places. You shut your mouth and give people what they
want.
He had been weak from that moment on. He let Benny Layman bully him,
let his father drag him to business meeting after business meeting. Eli
couldn’t remember the last year, but he was sure it had been exactly the same,
even with that Hunter girl.

But
now, it was time to change. This was his chance to turn his life around and
live it the way
he
wanted to. As much as he longed for a mother, he was
not going to take the easy road.

Suddenly,
words he couldn’t remember reading popped into his mind.
The greater our
ignorance to something, the greater our resistance to change.
Forgetting
what his mother put him through was like sweeping it under the rug, when he
could be walking away.
And sometimes, even with the ones you love, you have
to walk away. Walk away and live your life and find love somewhere else.

So
Eli gently lifted his mother’s hands from his shoulders, gave Dean a nod and
said his goodbyes. His mother stood by silently, tears dripping down her
cheeks, her eyes longing for him. Years ago he would have killed to see that
look on her face. He would have stayed without a doubt. But things were
different now. And thanks to Joshua, so was his mind.

But
his heart would never change, and as he left his mother’s cozy suburban house,
he left a piece of him with her. It belonged to her all along.