Authors: Ginger Simpson
A million thoughts scrambled Cassie's brain, but with a deep breath, she put the receiver to her ear. "Hello."
"Cassie, I've thought long and hard about making this phone call, but one of us had to make a move. Can we get together and talk?"
Praise be, it was Alaine, but she sounded so formal, almost like a stranger. Cass swallowed the lump of emotion in her throat. "Of course we can. I-I'm so glad you called. I've really missed talking to you. It's been far too long. Do you have a place in mind for us to meet, or do you want to come here?"
"If it's okay with you, I'd prefer to get together somewhere other than your house, maybe have a good dinner out. Are you free tomorrow evening?"
"Even if I wasn't, I'd make time for you. I've been taking the train to and from work, so how about six p.m., at that little place next to the station? It's close to home for both of us."
"That works for me." Alaine's voice held the same flat tone. "See you tomorrow."
"I look forward to it, Alaine. See you then."
Cassie hung up in a state of shock. She'd prayed Alaine would come to her senses, but was that the reason for the call? She hadn't apologized, nor had she hinted at her state of mind. Cassie ran her forefinger across her top lip and pondered whether or not to be happy or worry. Was she up to finding out what Alaine wanted?
Evan's gesture showed his curiosity. "So?"
Cassie shrugged. "I'm not really sure. Alaine wants to meet for dinner tomorrow night. All she said was she'd given lots of thought to calling. I wanted to ask a zillion questions, but I was too nervous. Talking to her used to be so easy. I wonder if we can ever get that back?"
"Given what's happened and the amount of time you've been apart, seems only natural you'd be a little shaken up."
"It's the time issue that bothers me. We haven't talked for so long; I can't imagine why she'd call now. Did she and Frank dredge up more crap from the Internet, or does she just miss me as much as I miss her?"
Evan's brow furrowed. "I'm hoping it's the latter. You already know all my deep, dark secrets, and I would like nothing more than for ya'll to make peace. You…and your mother, have suffered enough because of me."
Cassie walked over and cupped his face in her hand. "Look at me. This isn't your fault. You didn't do anything to cause this mess, so please don't blame yourself."
Evan pulled away, crossed to the sofa, and sat. He lowered his head into hands.
She sat next to him and put her arm around his shoulders. "Baby, please don't feel bad."
He glanced over at her, unshed tears shining in his eyes. "You don't know how it feels to always try to do the right thing and continually screw up. I want so much for our ventures to work so you can tell Takeda to shove his job, but all I've done is frustrate you and cause stress. Look what happened right before Alaine called. You were ready to ship me back to Texas. Maybe I should go. If I hadn't come into your life, you would still be part of one big, happy family."
"That's not true," she insisted. "I might have been part of a family, but I wasn't as happy as you've made me. If you think I was a mess a few minutes ago, you should have seen me before we met. I'd lost the will to live—actually considered ending it all."
There, she'd said it. Shared her darkest secret with him.
Evan's eyes widened. "You're kidding. Why would you wanna cash it all in when you have so much?"
"True," she nodded, gesturing around. "I have a beautiful home, a fairly new car, a job that provides a good salary. Yeah…I have a lot, but something was missing. I needed you. I just didn't realize it until we met. You took away those dark thoughts and made me love living again. Even with the spats, problems and my nagging, I'm happier with you than I was without you. If you think you made things worse, think again."
A wide smile formed on Evan's lips. He squeezed her hand. "Thank you, baby girl. I'm gonna pray that Alaine only wants to set things right."
"Me too, Evan, me too."
* * *
At the sound of the alarm, Cassie's eyes flew open. Her thoughts immediately returned to last night's phone call. If only the day was over and she was on her way to meet Alaine at McGinty's. Instead, she faced an entire day filled with anxiety and wondering. Her sight blurred from hours of trying to summon sleep, but she slid her feet over the bed's edge and plodded to the closet where she changed from her nightgown into work attire.
Evan stood at the vanity, brushing his teeth. Cassie stood next to him to put on her makeup. She held up both hands with crossed fingers. "Well, this is the day."
Foamy toothpaste seeped through Evan's lips when he smiled.
"You know," she said, verbalizing her thoughts as she applied mascara, "Alaine and I always got along except when it came to Jay. We bumped heads over him more than once, but I never loved her any less. On the other hand, I've always hated him because he doesn't take care of her."
Evan spit, rinsed, and wiped his mouth dry. He leaned on the vanity, apparently interested in her recollections. "Why doesn't he? She must matter to him, he married her."
"I think he loves her as much as a bum with a drug addiction can."
"How do you know he does drugs?"
Cassie swept her blush brush across her cheeks. Her gaze shifted slightly to Evan's reflection. "I can just tell."
"How? Is your opinion based on experience?"
Her head jerked around. "Of course not. Oh, I might have smoked a joint or two in high school, but that was the extent of my drug usage. The only meds in my life are prescribed. Until I started taking antidepressants, the strongest thing in my medicine cabinet was aspirin."
"Then I don't understand how you can be so certain if you've never used."
In the middle of a pucker to apply her favorite red lipstick, she didn't respond immediately. After wiping a smudge from the corner of her mouth, she turned and faced him. "I've watched documentaries on TV. Methamphetamine users are commonly called 'tweakers.' They can't sit still and have enormous amounts of nervous energy, but not the same productive energy conducive to retaining employment. When tweakers aren't using, they crash and sleep for days. All are characteristic of Jay's behavior." Cassie pulled a brush through her hair one last time then applied a liberal dose of hairspray.
Evan backed away, fanning the air. "Sounds like you know him pretty well. Drugs may well be the reason he took Carson's watch. Maybe he needed a fix."
"May well be."
Not wanting to muss her lipstick, she moved closer and kissed the air between them. "Remember, I'll be home late. Wish me luck."
* * *
Cassie sat on the commuter express, staring into space. Her stomach twisted into a knot. She released a pent-up breath, knowing in two more stops she'd get off the train and come face-to-face with Alaine after all these months. Cass's day at work had been more productive than expected. Burying herself in contract reviews distracted her from worrisome thoughts and helped the day pass quickly.
One stop to go. Her heart raced and the knot in her midsection transformed to queasiness. She ran phrases through her mind, practicing what to say. Everything she thought of sounded too canned and downright lame. Best to be herself.
A glance through the window and she recognized her stop. This was it. Using the metal pole next to her seat as an aid, she stood on shaky legs, picked up her belongings, and melded into the crowd at the door.
Air on the train was always stuffy and overly warm, but the cool evening breeze outside soothed her heated cheeks. The neon lights atop the restaurant across the parking lot cast a pink glow against a darkening sky. Cassie paused to gather her thoughts and jumped when a departing motorist honked at her. She continued toward the restaurant, sure that no matter what Alaine's intention for the meeting, the evening would end in a truce, even if Cassie had to initiate it. Time had come to stop acting like children.
She adjusted her shoulder bag, smoothed her jacket and opened the door to McGinty's. The click of her high heels muted on the entry carpet and she moved through the crowd, her gaze looking for a familiar face.
A myriad of ongoing conversations and voices elevating to be heard over others nearly drowned out the piped-in music. The combination deafened her, but she searched the profiles of those waiting to be seated and craned her neck to see over the masses. In the far corner booth, she spied her sister. A lump immediately formed in her throat.
She pushed her way through the crowd and walked toward Alaine. As she silently slid into the booth, she glanced across at the beloved face that'd been missing from her life for far too long.
"Hi, Sis." Overwhelmed by emotion, Cassie did well to say anything.
A big smile softened Alaine's face. "Hi, yourself. It's good to see you." Her voice was barely audible over the din. She reached across and clasped Cassie's hand.
The special moment tugged at her heart. Happy tears clouded her eyes, all tenseness gone, she relaxed.
Alaine released Cassie's hand to wipe away her own tears.
Cassie nodded toward the full tables and the crowd in the waiting area. "I guess I didn't pick a very good place for conversation," she yelled. "Want to go somewhere else?"
Alaine picked up her coat and purse and walking alongside Cass, they braved the throng of bodies between them and the exit.
"Whew," said Cassie, once outside. "That was ridiculous. I never guessed it would be so crowded on a weeknight. Where shall we go? Are you hungry?"
"Not really."
"Then how about a drive-through. We can order light and have all the privacy and quiet we need in the car."
"Sounds like a great idea to me. Your car or mine?"
"I'm parked next to the street."
Cassie led the way to her car. With the weight on her shoulders gone, she felt like flying.
* * *
Alaine took a long draw on the straw in her milkshake. "Mmm, this is so much better, don't you think?"
Cassie swiveled in the driver's seat and leaned against the door. "Sure is. At least I can turn the radio down so I can hear you."
They shared a laugh, but afterwards, an awkward silence lingered.
Alaine cleared her throat. "Y-you don't know how often I've wanted to call you, but I didn't know what to say. You got so upset with me and Frank, and then I got even madder at you over that whole watch fiasco. Everything became so overblown and stupid."
"I know what you mean. I've wanted to pick up the phone myself so many times, but…."
"We were all childish. Things never should have gone so far."
Cass nodded. "Now that I look back on things, I acted like a spoiled brat who wanted to show you who was boss. I turned into a dunce because you hurt my feeling and treated me as though I wasn't adult enough to make intelligent choices."
Alaine reach across the console and touched Cassie's hand. "That was never our intent. Like we said, we were trying to look out for your best interests, nothing more. So many bad things happen to good, unsuspecting people, and we didn't want you to be one of them. You're far too trusting sometimes."
"I should have seen that, but I couldn't get past the hurt and anger."
"Me too, but I don't want to be angry anymore. Life is too short not to have you in it. The holidays were horrible. Of course, Cal and Gloria came over, but things just weren't the same…and Mom, we put her through hell with this stupid spat. I'm more than willing to put differences aside and get back to being family. How about you?"
"Of course, but what about Evan. He's still part of my life, and I intend to keep it that way."
"I sort of figured that."
"If you and Frank dislike him so intensely, how are things going to work out?"
Alaine giggled. "Just like things work with you and Jay. He isn't your favorite person, we all know that. I'm still leery of Evan, but I'm willing to give him a chance because I need you in my life."
"And Frank?" Cassie munched on a cold French fry.
"We talked about what happened, and he feels pretty much the same. You know our brother, he isn't going to call and grovel, but if we can work things out between us, he'll do what he always does—act like nothing happened and go with the flow."
Cassie grinned. "That sounds just like him." She turned serious and sought her sister's gaze. "Let me make sure I understand. You realize I love Evan and believe in him with all my heart, and you aren't going to try and undermine that?"
"That's right. We've all made choices that didn't gain everyone's approval. Whatever happens, the consequences, if any, are yours. Unless Evan does something to me personally, you won't hear another peep out of me about your relationship…unless of course I throw in a little barb here and there like you've done with Jay."
"Oh, Lainie, that's wonderful. I can't wait for us to all get together again and make up for lost time."
Alaine held up a hand. "You realize I'm speaking for myself. I'm not taking responsibility for how Frank might act. I know he wants you back in his life, but…."