“Why do you care what happens to me? I told
you Stella’s the one that needs to be safe. I’m not her...I’m not
Willow...I’m not that important,” I argued with all of them.
Jason looked down at me, past the surface.
“You are more important than you could ever imagine...it’s not fair
for you to have to choose without knowing who you are.”
“Choose what?” I asked, terrified. I
remembered being told to choose before by a beautiful older woman
with mesmerizing green eyes; flashes rushed through my memory, and
my head began to spin.
“It’ll be fine. Don’t worry about it,” Jason
said quietly.
I knew I could trust him; I felt love coming
from him.
Jason looked at Beth. “Can you keep her from
taking those two pills?” he asked her.
“I can throughout the night. Tomorrow, if
Drake is near her, he’ll make sure she takes them,” Beth said.
“They’re very heavy in her system, and any
break in the cycle would help us; she’ll have to be able to enter a
dream state to leave,” Jason warned. Beth nodded.
Jason looked down at me. “You can see that I
mean you know harm and that I’m speaking the truth,” he said.
“I can feel that you love me,” I said,
trying to smile under heavy eyelids.
“Tomorrow, if they give you those two pills
- try not to take them,” he said to me.
“Will the voice come back?” I asked.
“It will soon,” Jason said.
“Do you know that voice?” I asked. Jason
nodded. “Will you tell him I’m sorry? I think I hurt him...I didn’t
mean to.”
I felt sorrow coming from all of them.
“He knows that - and the love you feel from
that voice will overpower the love you feel coming from all of us
combined,” Jason said.
I nodded, knowing he meant what he said,
then closed my eyes. I was carried into the other room and laid on
the bed. I fell asleep, feeling everyone leave except Stella; my
heart tore.
Why did they leave her?
I tossed and turned in
my bed. I could see flashes of people and places coming to me, and
it was terrifying because they weren’t all from the time or place
where I now lived. I saw myself with Drake, happy. I saw myself
with another man, blue eyes...I knew I loved him. I rolled myself
awake.
Stella was sleeping soundly beside me; I
could still fill the love for Marc coming from her. I tried to
process who those people were, how they fit in to who I was. I
tried to replay their images one by one, and the one that stood out
in my mind was the one of the older woman who had told me I had to
choose. I was almost certain I’d seen her recently. I replayed
every room I’d been in, finally remembering the painting in the
front entry hall; it was the one that I’d focused on to stay
balanced.
I couldn’t lie there anymore; I was going to
find that painting...I was tired of being confused. I walked out of
my room and down the hall. I guessed and went to the right, and it
looked as if it opened up. There were other paintings lining the
walls, and I studied them, looking to see if I could see her in any
of them. The hallway opened up to a large oval-shaped room with
windows circling the back of the wall. A circler couch centered the
room. Realizing I was getting weak, I walked over to the couch and
sat down, catching my breath. I looked across the room and saw a
painting as large as a small wall. It was of the woman, only she
was slightly younger. Her green eyes stared back at me, and sitting
next to her was a little girl with dark skin and green eyes as
well. I stared at them for countless moments. I knew that I knew
them, and it made me so mad not to remember. I pulled my knees to
my chest and rocked myself back and forth.
All at once, I felt an overwhelming fear
rushing in my direction and heard several people running, opening
and closing doors. I raised my head and look toward the doorway.
Drake, Beth, and Stella, along with others in hoods, rushed into
the room. I felt Stella’s and Beth’s relief come. Drake sighed
deeply, then waved the others away, walking to my side. I looked to
the windows to see the black of night behind them. Drake sat down
and slid close to me, and his mesmerizing touch was immediate. He
wrapped his arm around me. “I think you nearly gave my mother a
stroke,” he said, looking attentively at me.
“I’m sorry,” I muttered, looking down.
He kissed my forehead and pulled me
protectively to him.
“I thought you’d be gone until the dawn,” I
said, almost grateful he was early.
“I...um...had a small concern...I still need
to go home,” he answered.
“Concern...?”
“I just thought I saw someone I knew and
went to find them,” he said.
“Do you not know everyone?” I mocked.
He chuckled under his breath. “I suppose I
do.”
Beth walked in with a glass of water and my
pills. She was screaming at me with every emotion she had; I’d
caused her to fail. Now Drake would make sure I took the pills that
Jason had asked me not to take. Looking up at Drake, I turned his
head so he’d look at me. “I promise I won’t go to sleep...I don’t
need the pain medicine if you’re here. You are staying here, aren’t
you?” I pleaded.
“You need this medicine,” he whispered.
“I’ll take them. It’s just...when I do take
them, I fall asleep - and then...you leave,” I said, looking down,
embarrassed by my plea – not knowing if he was the illusion or if
the blue eyes were.
Drake sighed and reached for the pills that
his mother was holding, then put them in his pocket. I felt Beth’s
relief; she nodded at me, then left the room. I settled next to
him, feeling proud of myself.
“Why are you here?” he asked, looking around
the room.
“I was looking for her,” I answered, looking
in the direction of the large painting.
Drake’s eyebrows creased. I couldn’t feel
him, but I was almost sure he was angry.
“And why is that?” he asked firmly.
“I saw her downstairs...I think she’s
beautiful. I love her eyes.”
Drake relaxed a little. “Her eyes are
amazing,” he said, staring at the painting.
“Who is she?” I asked.
“Perodine”
“Have I met her?” I asked timidly.
Drake reached his arm around me, pulling me
to his lap. He leaned in and kissed me, and his force seemed
magnetic; it made me light-headed. He parted slowly. “Let those
sleeping dogs lie,” he whispered, his lips barely apart from
mine.
Thinking of Stella, I knew it was more
important now than ever to play my role. I smiled at him, staring
intently into his dark eyes. I knew that it didn’t matter if I knew
who I was or not - I was playing a dangerous game.
“Come; let’s find some food,” he said,
lifting me.
“It’s the dead of night,” I argued.
“You’ve been keeping strange hours; you can
sleep while I’m gone tomorrow.”
I walked beside him. I knew if Jason was
right, I’d sleep for eternity tomorrow. I assumed I had less than
ten hours left. Knowing who I was before I left would be amazing,
but knowing that Stella was safe was my only real desire.
Drake led me down the hall to a small
doorway that led down a stairwell, then carried me as it circled.
He stopped two floors down and sat me down at the threshold of an
enormous kitchen. A long, wide table centered the room, and I
walked to one of the chairs that circled it. He found a glass and
filled it with water, then sat it and my pills in front of me.
Knowing I’d have to be clever here, I reached for the two pills I
wasn’t supposed to take, then put them in my mouth one by one and
gripped them with my back teeth. I then reached for the water.
Drake scooted the other three closer to me. As I put one in my
mouth, he turned and walked toward the cabinets. While he had his
back to me, I took the pills out of my mouth and hid them in my
blouse, then swallowed the last two pain pills. Drake opened the
cabinets and pulled two small plates out, then cut a piece of pie
for each of us.
As he sat the plates in front of me, the pie
smelled so good. I took a small bite, tasting sweet cherries. Drake
seemed to be lost in thought as he ate. Something about knowing the
hour of your death gives one courage; the fear I had of him
yesterday was gone, and a newfound curiosity plagued me.
“How do you plan to take my pain away?” I
asked.
He hesitated for a moment, then said,
“That’s nothing for you to worry about,” avoiding my eyes.
“My time here is over...I’m sure of it.”
“I need you to stay strong for me...you can
make it through a few more days,” he said, reaching for my hands
and capturing my stare with eyes as intense as midnight. I sighed
and looked down, and he pulled my hands to his face and bowed his
head. “I love you – and I can’t live without you...don’t leave me
here.”
I felt my heart breaking; he deserved for me
to love him just as intensely as he loved me. I leaned forward, my
eyes searching his perfect face. When he looked up at me, the pain
in his eyes made my soul cry. He slowly leaned forward, and as his
lips touched mine – I felt life course through me. Tears slowly
seeped from my eyes. I reached for his face and traced his flawless
features, feeling his tears fall, too.
As I wiped them away, our lips parted. “If
this is real – then nothing will part us,” I whispered.
He traced his fingers across my cheek,
drying my tears. “Promise,” he whispered, smiling slightly. I
looked down and nodded slightly.
He slowly moved around the table, then
gracefully picked me up and carried me up the stairs. In my room,
Stella was sleeping silently. He stopped in the front room and sat
with me in his arms in the chair that faced the painting. I stared
at my work, imagining I was watching a beautiful sunset.
“I would have to say that this is my
favorite of all your gifts,” he finally said.
I looked back at him. Stella had made it
seem like my gifts were dangerous here; yet, both Beth and Drake
knew about them.
“Why can I not feel you?” I asked.
He leaned in to me and kissed my lips, but I
held mine firmly together. He then sighed and looked impatiently at
me.
“You can feel me.”
“You know what I mean.”
“Some would be pleased to have a sense of
the unknown in their lives,” he said, reaching down to kiss my
neck. As his lips moved across my skin, I felt breathless; it was
all I could do to stay focused. I gently pushed him away, then
turned my back to him and stared back at the painting.
Drake fell silent, and I looked back to see
him sleeping. I shook my head; it was if he was guarding me. My
thoughts took to coming up with ways to get him away from Stella; I
was sure Marc would return soon. The dark sky began to grow
lighter, and I could hear thunder in the distance. The wind was
crashing against the windows, and it woke Stella with a start. She
came into the front room to find me sitting in Drake’s sleeping
lap. The respect and fear she had for him was gone; she was now
furious when she looked at him – and the emotion was not appealing
coming from someone so beautiful. She shook her head in disapproval
and returned to our room. I wondered what Marc had said to her last
night. I could feel that she still loved me, but not the way she
loved Evelyn. It was more than sisterhood now. I could hear water
running and assumed she was bathing and dressing for the day.
Beth slowly opened the door. When she saw
Drake sleeping, I felt her relief. She walked over to me and handed
me the three pain pills. When I reached for the last one, I pushed
against Drake on purpose to wake him. I wanted him to see me take
my medicine. His grip on me tightened as he got his bearings. When
he saw what I was doing, he sighed and wiped the sleep out of his
eyes.
“At least you’re being more agreeable now,”
he said under his breath.
Beth found his words humorous and felt
reassured that I’d honored her promise not to take those pills. As
she took a seat next to us, Drake moved me, allowing himself to
stand and stretch. I felt Stella walking closer. When she came into
the room and saw Beth, she smiled a shy smile and bowed her head.
The exchange did not go unnoticed by Drake, and his eyes raced back
in forth between the two of them, then back to me. I smiled back at
him and reached my arms for him to sit back down - but his eyebrows
creased with a tinge of anger.
“I’m going to change. I’ll be back soon,” he
said shortly, then walked out of the room. Beth shook her head; I
knew she loved him immensely and felt responsible for something
that had happened in his life.
“How many hours has it been?” I asked in a
hushed voice.
Beth looked down, trying to hide her fear.
“Almost fourteen,” she said shortly.
“Will you help her if -” I couldn’t finish.
Beth nodded, and I felt Stella’s fear rise.
The woman from yesterday came in the room
with a tray of food and sat it on the table between me and
Beth.
“Do you have my assignment?” Stella asked
the woman.
“There isn’t one,” she answered, her fear
and confusion apparent on her face.
Stella sighed deeply and leaned against the
wall. The woman bowed her head to Beth, then left.
I pushed the tray in Stella’s direction.
“Eat,” I said. Stella walked over and took a piece of bread.
“You’re going to have to eat more than that,” I said quietly.
Stella shook her head no. She was missing
Marc immensely.
The storm that had been approaching all
morning had made its way to the estate, and the howling wind was
terrifying. Each time the thunder clapped, we all jumped. Drake
walked back into the room; he had changed into another black suit,
and his hair was wet from where he’d bathed. He looked past Beth
and Stella at me, then made his way back to my chair, moving me so
he could sit by me.
“Did she eat?” he asked his mother.