Embracing Ashberry (36 page)

She took a bite, her eyes still following
his, waiting. “Do you know,” he began conversationally, “That I
would eat with you every night like this if we could?”

“We can’t?” she asked after she swallowed.
She tried hard not to sound disappointed. Despite her
embarrassment, she truly did crave the closeness that had sprung
between them in the last days.

He shrugged his shoulders. “Dinner,” he told
her, “will include most nights Jefferson, as well as the chaplain.
Sometimes Matthew and Scott will join us as well, though all four
make a habit of absenting themselves from my presence after the
meal. Other nights, there will be guests, of course, from the
village or business associates of mine who come to the Stables.
Occasionally we will be obliged to make an appearance at neighbors’
houses, particularly over the summer.”

Ellie nodded. She nearly asked if he had
forgotten her first question, but Ashberry continued. “I know you
remember the day we were engaged. Did you learn anything about me
that day?”

Her chin trembled. She remembered the
protectiveness of his arms, the strength of will he had shown
against her father. “I learned that you were strong, so strong,
from the way you stood against Papa. Not physically—I knew that
already—but inside.”

The marquess nodded. “Did you know why I was
so insistent that we marry, Ellie?” he finally asked.

She shook her head, nervously fingering her
napkin. “I, I thought maybe you felt honor-bound to, after I
trusted you. And then I thought about what you said to Papa about
me being a good mistress for your home and family.”

Ashberry was quiet for a few minutes, until
he laid his knife on the table and met her eyes. “That’s not why I
married you, Ellie dear,” he said quietly. “All those things were
true certainly, but they simply added support to something I
already knew.” Ellie waited, nearly holding her breath, until he
continued. “More than anything, Ellie, I determined to marry you
because I could not bear for you to be alone, or even worse in my
mind, to belong to someone who didn’t appreciate what an ...
extraordinary woman you are.”

He stood, coming around the table and
turning her chair to face him before hunching down in front of her
and meeting her eyes. “Since then, I’ve come to understand that
compulsion even better. I married you, Ellie, because we were meant
to be married, meant to belong to each other, meant to nurture and
sustain one another in all of our lives.” His voice, so tender now
that Ellie’s fingers instinctively tightened in his hands, lowered
to a rough whisper. “I married you so that I could spend my life
pleasing you, cherishing you.”

Ashberry buried her face against her thighs
as Ellie’s fingers flitted over his hair. Her voice was shaky.
“You, you’re saying that I, I do as you say for the same reasons,
because we are supposed to be together?” He didn’t answer, and
Ellie’s thumbs traced his ears. “I must,” she whispered. “I mean, I
do want to please you, so much that when I look at you I can feel
you pulling me toward you, even though we don’t touch.” She
swallowed heavily, struggling to ease the tension between them. “I
guess that means I have a
tendre
for you, no?”

“I hope so,” he kissed the insides of her
knees as he spoke ruefully, roughly. “I sure as hell have one for
you. And it doesn’t appear to be a state that will go away.” His
voice was low, so low she could barely hear the words that made her
insides shake, as he persisted. “I understand, Ellie, that you’re
growing into our marriage; that it was, in some sense, before you
were quite ready. For many good reasons, you’ve been tentative with
your trust and your generosity in the last few years and are only
now learning how to share it with me and I can’t even tell you how
incredible I feel when you look up and smile at me and hold out
your arms.”

Ellie was ready to speak, ready to interrupt
and assure, but Ashberry shook his head, resting a finger on her
lips even as he held her eyes. She felt her heart flutter, a
premonition of how his profession would end washing through her
insides, but there was no stopping the gently sloping dam he was
tearing down around her, preparing to flood her most cherished
defenses.

His voice was even heavier when he
continued. “The changes in you since we’ve met—at least in the way
you react to me—are so remarkable that I can hardly take it in at
times. I accept quite easily that your feelings for me—for our
marriage—are changing every day, because I can see it happening
right in front of my eyes. So I want you to know, Ellie, that I
will spend my life with you, supporting you, savoring you,
treasuring every smile and every frown—not because I reiterated
promises to you before a bishop that I had already made
silently—but because I love you.”

SIXTEEN

Little of notable interest happened over the
next six months, except that Ellie found herself growing more
devoted to her husband as time passed. The changes inside her were
undeniable and the realizations struck at the oddest times,
sometimes so strongly that tears would form in her eyes. Whenever
he witnessed them, Ashberry was unfailingly tender, though she
refused his soft requests to explain why she was upset. Instead,
she would cling to him, inhaling the scent that was unmistakably
his and draw from his strength to recover and smile gloriously at
him.

At Ashberry Park, life proceeded as nature
dictated: snow fell, game was hunted, crops planted, horses mated,
the house aired, cleaned and everything refreshed. The gardens were
rejuvenated when springtime came and Ellie took the time to meet
and speak with every tenant Ashberry had, even charming the wizened
old women who stomped around her as she strolled from cottage to
cottage. She made regular trips to the village, and under her
influence the local baker, blacksmith and seamstress were soon
providing London-quality goods that Ellie loyally purchased.

Around them, everything flourished, as if it
was a reflection of their lives together.

Ellie’s confidence grew as she took on more
responsibilities in the great house, where she found Ashberry’s
senior staff to be helpful and more than competent. The young
marchioness took to spending her mornings, early by design in the
country, first in solitude in the master sitting room. Later in the
morning room, after the gentlemen in the house had finished their
breakfasts, she would meet with servants or callers and dutifully
write letters, work in the stillroom and complete any household
business.

Later, after a luncheon shared with
whichever steward was in the house, she would visit the music room,
playing the grand instrument there and walk in the conservatory or
gardens, which were as fabulous as everyone had at first
promised—the conservatory was, Ellie decided one day, the most
fantastic room she had ever seen. Located at the end of the south
loggia and the large assembly rooms, the conservatory was a large
two-story room that spanned the entire width of the south wing. The
windows reached nearly as high as the expansive ceilings, and
inside them, jasmine creepers rose over the walls. In the center of
the room, stairs led up to a balcony that extended into the room
from the first floor hall and the balcony’s iron railings were
draped with rose bushes that were planted in boxes built along the
base of the balcony. It was a sunny and warm room, with fragrances
at every turn and beautiful fountains interspersed with waist-high
planters filled with lush plants and flowers of all varieties were
sprinkled throughout the ground floor.

The long afternoons provided her with plenty
of time to call on her neighbors, the villagers and tenants, as
well as go on an occasional outing with her husband before she
retired to rest before dressing for dinner.

Jenson, the underbutler who Wendy claimed
had been ordered to watch after her, really had received such a
command—from Wendy’s father. Ellie discovered quickly that the
intense young man, being groomed by Jefferson, Alexander and
Ashberry to replace Alexander upon the older man’s retirement,
adored the maid to distraction. While she was in London, he had
gone to Wendy’s father and asked for permission to address the
girl, where he was told he was welcome to her hand if she would
give it. Wendy, Ellie understood, hadn’t accepted it just yet, but
the outcome was inevitable, given the girl’s blushes and dreamy
smiles. Ashberry Park would have a married butler one day and Wendy
glowed with the promise of it.

As Ashberry had promised, Ellie spent a
significant time in his bed. Indeed, not too many days had passed
at Ashberry Park when she discovered that not only was she expected
to sleep in it at night, but that he insisted she nap in it too. He
had been thoroughly disgusted, when arriving in their rooms one
afternoon to ostensibly check on his napping wife, to find her in
her own chamber and Wendy in a chair beside the bed, mending.

She had awoken to find him abruptly sending
off the girl and to find herself being ruthlessly stripped of her
lawn nightrail. Luckily, her instinct was to curl soothingly
against him, or Ellie had often wondered what he would have been
tempted to do in his black mood. Instead, her arms had circled him
and held tight while he carried her to his bed and tucked her, now
naked, under his own coverlet, a warm brick at her feet. He had
informed her, in no uncertain terms, that if he found her there
again, the bed would disappear from her chamber completely, never
to return.

Ellie never asked, but she did wonder if the
bed had any purpose at all, if it was neither for sleeping nor
lovemaking, and how removing it would affect her in the least. The
brief exposure to Ashberry’s temper, though obviously controlled,
was revelation enough for the month of February.

In London in March, Lady and Lord Whitney
signed a contract of separation, although Lady Whitney did not
appear in her husband’s presence until his signature was firmly
affixed. Supervised by Edward, John and two solicitors, the visit
was brief. Neither spoke. Lord Whitney returned to Cornwall shortly
thereafter, quitting, he claimed, Society forever. Lady Whitney,
finding herself on limited funds without her husband’s bank at her
command, set herself up openly at Ashberry House, where the
marquess directed his staff to treat her with the utmost
consideration. Fields, brusquely dismissed by the retreating Lord
Whitney, was immediately procured by John as his general factotum,
for the young man was discovering that he was both an ambitious and
hard-working member of the Ministry who required a consistent and
reliable man to assist him.

Edward, without his father’s benefactions,
began working diligently to provide for his own small household.
With only their small incomes to live on and invest, he wisely
chose a course that was somewhat conservative, for he was not
willing to risk the capital that Ashberry had provided through
Charlotte’s dowry. When Ellie heard of his dilemma, she insisted
Ashberry entrust to Edward a portion of her settlements that her
husband had set aside for her use, and Ellie promised Edward a
percentage of any return he provided for her.

Ashberry also freed a larger sum from
Charlotte’s trust for the same purpose, warning the younger man
only to use his good judgment and consideration in investing
it.

In April, Caroline wrote that she and
Eldenwood were expecting a child in October. They would come to
London for the birth, for Caroline had determined to have a
physician, her aunt, cousin Sarah and her sister attend her,
instead of the gaggle of midwives and village women that would
attend a birth at any of Eldenwood’s other residences. In May,
Charlotte wrote a similar letter. She and Edward were expecting
near the end of November and hoped that Ashberry and Ellie would be
in Town for the event. The marquess promised to be present for both
births, writing immediately to his sisters, and separately to each
of their husbands.

Whenever a letter came, particularly ones
addressed with a masculine hand, Ellie noticed he would still until
it was read. He tried not to demonstrate his anxieties, but Ellie
came to recognize the relief on his face each time she bled. She
made a valiant attempt to put from her mind her own doubts and
hopes, but was unable to completely suppress her own dreams.
Without discussing it expressly, Ellie and Ashberry both understood
children to be a subject that had the potential to disrupt the bond
they were forging, and neither had the courage to broach the
subject.

After the grounds thawed and the horses
began running in the pastures again, Ellie occasionally visited
Ashberry Stables. Once the mares began foaling it seemed to be the
only place she could see her husband during the daylight hours.
Ellie found it to be a bustle of activity—men in boots, shouts, and
a few words that made Ashberry cover her ears with his hands and
growl at his men. On Ashberry’s slower days and as spring aged into
summer, she and Ashberry would take horses and ride through the
wilds of the Park, indulging in afternoon picnics of cheese and
wine or simply sitting in the shade of the Castle.

Loath to end those private hours, he wiled
away their time together with stories of times past in the Park,
from generations past in the Ashberry family annals to the more
recent escapades of a young Stephen Trinity and his siblings. In
turn, she told him about Rose Hill, the hothouses of prized and
valuable blooms, the shores and the ocean tides, her childhood
under the tutelage of Edward and John, and the antics of the young
Whitney brood.

Ashberry often returned to the great house
at dusk covered in dirt, hay and the perfume that permeated the
barns, but Ellie would always be waiting, rested from her nap,
bathed and dressed for dinner. Both would chuckle when she would
immediately open the door to his dressing room and indicate his
waiting bath. When early summer passed into long, hot days of July
and the marquess found himself with more time on his hands, he took
Ellie on day-long excursions in the area, taking a light chaise and
a picnic and driving wherever she pointed. Together they surveyed
the remnants of Ashberry Castle, explored the gardens, visited
genteel and not-so-genteel neighbors and even managed to survive
the occasional houseguest.