“Have you consulted with Gabriel?” he finally asked.
“Not yet. I wanted to have some tidbit of information to present him first.”
“Please, take him what you have. The archangels have expressed concern. I would like to give them some reassurance that I am attempting to determine law and not operating in willful ignorance.”
Ren’s breath rushed out. “All three of them? Evan, you must take care. If the archangels have approached you, then you are in danger of going too far with this. Step away from Meela and let their worries die down. We are infinite creatures. We have, quite literally, all of time to do this.”
Evan shook his head. Meela might exist forever, but this moment in her existence was fleeting. “That is where you are wrong. Meela is ready to come home now, and if we miss this opportunity, I believe she will be lost forever.”
She was fragile. If she didn’t get help now, when she needed it the most, she’d never trust him or any angel to help her again.
Before Ren could answer, the rumbling noise of the garage door opening filled the room. In an instant, Ren’s worry vanished, wiped away by the sheer joy of Adam arriving home.
“Evan, will you join us for our meal?” Ren rose and began walking toward the door connecting the house to the garage.
“I will.”
The door opened and Ren met Adam with a kiss so full of pure love it made Evan’s heart ache. Would he ever have a chance to experience love and contentment like theirs?
He sent up a quick prayer that he and Meela would someday share a love like this, and stepped forward to greet Adam.
Chapter Five
Meela crouched in the corner of the abandoned house, using precious power to remain unseen while she watched her prey. The human was hurting, desperate, and anything Meela did was guaranteed to make it worse. Desperation drove her here, but reluctance kept her from taking the power she’d so neatly cornered.
Her stomach lurched at the idea of feeding from the girl, but there was no other way to stave off the pain of hunger.
“I thought we had agreed you wouldn’t do this again.”
Meela’s heart lurched in her chest as he appeared in the doorway. His fists were clenched at his sides and he was stiff with anger. The hard line of his body radiated tension and a raw masculinity, making her hyperaware of him as a seraph. His maleness called to her on a primal level, unsettling her.
He wasn’t wearing Earthly garb today. Instead he was clothed in the white robes worn in Heaven. His mahogany hair and feathers stood out against the snowy fabric.
As did his flushed cheeks.
His eyes were dark with hurt and betrayal, and an unwelcome sense of shame assailed her. He’d entrusted her with power, had such faith that she would not violate that trust by preying on any of his human charges.
And yet, here she was, a helpless one caught firmly in her net.
“I fed you so you wouldn’t need to feed on humanity. And yet, here you are.” He waved one hand at the room. It was much like the one where he’d found her before…decayed and steeped in the ghosts of immorality.
Faded paper peeled away from the walls and a human girl sat in the corner, crying and unaware of their presence. Her misery permeated the room, carrying with it the fragile thread of power.
Power a demon could take.
Meela took a deep breath and willed her thundering heart to slow down. “I don’t remember that conversation.”
“I remember it. Clearly.”
“Really? All I remember is you feeding me. Nothing was said of not looking for another meal.”
Meela turned her back on Evan and tried to pretend her heart didn’t give a happy little flip at the sound of his voice.
Her breath caught as he moved behind her. His robes just brushing her flesh, the gossamer cloth catching on the rough edges of her scales. His hand cupped her shoulders and she closed her eyes as tight as she could. Closed them before she could glance down. Closed them before she could see his golden skin against the dead blackness of hers.
“
I’ll
feed you.
I’ll
take care of you. All you have to do is ask,” he whispered.
She shrugged his hands off and stepped away from temptation.
“And what happens when you’re not there?”
“I’ll be there.”
“No, you won’t.” He couldn’t be. If he wasn’t here, she wouldn’t have an opportunity to betray him. If he didn’t leave her forever, Lucifer could force her take him.
She couldn’t let that happen.
The back of her skull began to itch and searing heat spread from the spot. Fire coursed through her veins, taking root in her muscles.
The thought of protecting Evan had triggered the oath sworn to the Master. It coiled through her, making her arms twitch and locking her jaw against the words that would drive Evan away to safety.
“I cannot become dependent on you,” she said instead. If she couldn’t warn him outright, perhaps simple discouragement would save him.
Silence stretched out behind her, so long, so deafening that she had to fight the urge to look to make sure he hadn’t left her alone again.
“What happened?” His whisper broke the silence as completely as an explosion. Barely audible over the human’s sobs, it echoed through her soul louder than a shout from a hilltop.
“You left and reality happened. You can’t keep bad things away, Evan. Lucifer is my Prince, my Master. When you leave I am still subject to him, and you can’t change that.” And neither could she.
Silence fell again but this time she had no doubt he was there, watching her as intently as she watched the human.
“I can. I’ll take care of you. You just have to let me.”
The promise tore at her. She wanted to believe him, wanted to throw herself in his arms and beg him to take her away from all this pain and misery.
But he was just one angel, and Lucifer commanded a Legion. There was nothing Evan could do to help her.
He walked around her to kneel in front of the weeping girl. He reached out and placed a hand on her head. She seemed to feel his presence, despite not being able to see or hear him. Her despair waned and her crying eased to sniffles.
If only he could erase Meela’s heartaches so easily.
“I will leave you now.” He stood abruptly and moved away from the human.
Meela stared at Evan, not sure she’d heard correctly. “Alone? With her?”
“Alone and with her. Come to me afterward.” He strode toward the door.
“Wait, after what? Where will you be?” She followed him, her heart pounding so hard she could barely hear herself speak.
“You will know. My power is still within you. It will lead you to me if you allow it.” He cupped her jaw in what should have been a reassuring gesture, but it just managed to scare the shit out of her.
He was really leaving. He wasn’t supposed to do this.
“Why?” Leaving a vulnerable human alone with a demon broke every rule of guardianship. It was his job to defend this girl, dammit.
Without him there, Meela had no one to stop her from devouring the child.
“Shh.” Evan stood and cupped Meela’s cheeks, forcing her to look into his eyes. “I wouldn’t leave if I did not believe there is hope for lost souls.” The tenderness in his eyes made her stomach twist into a funny-feeling knot, one that had nothing to do with the hunger gnawing at her.
“She’ll be okay then?”
He glanced back at the human.
“Yes. But I wasn’t talking about her.” He dipped his head and brushed his lips against hers. A kiss of soothing. A kiss of peace.
Then, without so much as the ruffling of a feather, he was gone.
Meela looked back at her prey.
The child was a prime target to a demon. Desperate and so willing to be led astray, she would be easy to influence. Just fourteen and pregnant, the girl had just turned her first trick. There was a puddle of vomit in the corner and a packet of drugs the john had used as pay was tucked in her pocket.
Something to help her forget.
Meela swayed on her feet and the image of the girl in front of her wavered.
Desperation. Loneliness. Living from one day…no, one
second
to the next. Doing anything she could to make the next breath bearable. She wanted love and safety. She wanted home.
The child was just like her.
They were both lost souls.
She wouldn’t hurt this girl. The child had been damaged enough in her short life.
Meela used a bit of the precious power she had left to take a more human appearance and make herself visible.
Her appearance was too sudden. The girl let out a strangled shriek and scrambled to get away.
“Wait, it’s okay! I’m not going to hurt you.” Dammit, she had already fucked up.
The girl pressed herself into a corner, her eyes darting left and right, looking around the room like a cornered animal bent on escape.
Meela took one more step toward the human, then froze when the girl braced to run.
“Please, I just want to help.” She held her breath as the girl considered her.
Then the child relaxed, just a little. Still wary, she kept one eye on Meela as she eased down the wall toward the doorway. “I don’t need help.”
“Is your pimp looking for you?”
The girl flushed bright red. “I don’t have a pimp.”
The lie fell from the child’s lips with a lifeless thud, like a brick dropping on concrete. A pimp had already gotten to her, tainted her life.
“Big D works this area. If you aren’t one of his girls, he’ll hurt you. If you are one of his girls, he’ll hurt you too.” Judging by the bruises on the girl’s face, he already had. He’d beat her to death eventually.
Damned if you do, damned if you don’t
.
And at the rate this one was going she’d soon be as damned as Meela.
Unless…
“This isn’t a good place to stay at night. I can show you somewhere to go, though.” This was probably a mistake. She was no Guardian and had no business trying to act like one. If the Master found out about this, he would rip her into so many pieces it would take a millennium to regain form.
“I’ve stayed in worse.”
“Well, the midnight crowd hasn’t showed yet.”
The girl gave her a questioning look but didn’t say anything.
“Drunks and gangbangers looking to have a little fun, mostly. Junkies too, but they are usually too wasted to hurt anyone.” Meela sent the girl impressions of violence and pain. She didn’t have the strength to give a true image. It was just enough to play on the child’s fear.
“I don’t want anyone to find me.”
Meela couldn’t tell if the girl meant her pimp, the police or her parents.
“The place I’m taking you is safe. I…promise.”
The words carried a clear chime of truth. A promise she meant. How strange. And yet it felt so good.
The girl nodded, and Meela moved in close. Placing her hand on the crown of the girl’s head, she pressed knowledge into her. Task completed, she let herself fade from the girl’s vision once more. Blinking and disoriented, the girl stumbled out the door. In an hour she’d be safe, tucked away in a bed at the shelter Meela had planted in her thoughts.
Meela stared at the empty doorway for several minutes after the girl was gone, contemplating her next move. She’d used most of her remaining power sending the girl to safety. She could make it to Evan, but then she’d have nothing left but what it took to hold her true form.
Her demon form.
Hunger pangs twisted inside her, racking her body and soul with pain and reminding her of the time before Creation. Cut off from the Most High, those who had followed Lucifer from Heaven had lived in a state of perpetual starvation, never able to feed and unable to find the merciful relief of death. They stole from each other, fought like beasts. Each battle, each theft had scarred their bodies, corrupting the beauty of their angelic forms and changing them into blackened beasts.
Meela had refused to look at herself, refused to see what she was becoming. Until the day she’d woken to find herself in a pile of tawny feathers. Her wings, once the most beautiful in all the Heavens, had shriveled. The feathers had all fallen out.
Through it all, the hunger had never eased, not until Evan fed her. He was offering her something she never thought she’d have again, something more than power. More than freedom.
He was offering her love.
Her soul felt a tug, the call of Evan’s power urging her to go to him. Hard on its heels, another rumble of hunger left her trembling.
She needed to feed, and quickly. The streets were full of mortals who were ready, anxious even, to be led astray. Closing her eyes, she summoned the dregs of power within her and left the building.
* * * * *
Meela appeared before him in demon form, her red eyes full of hurt and anger. Her white blouse was a sharp contrast to her black scales and the wind lashed the ropes of her hair around her lovely face.
Despite her altered form and the soiled demon skin she wore, he still saw the lovely and generous spirit she had once been.
“You left me.” The pain in those words made his heart ache. She’d trusted him to help her and he’d abandoned her instead.
But what else could he do? If he’d stayed, he would have tried to rescue her and guaranteed the archangels’ retribution.
More importantly, he’d seen her reluctance to harm the girl, felt her compassion. He knew she wouldn’t hurt the child.
“I trusted you to do the right thing.”
She laughed at that, a humorless sound, full of anger. “Only a fool trusts a demon.”
“Then I am a fool.”
She stared at him for a long moment before turning away to examine their surroundings. He’d picked an island just outside the city, a place where nature was preserved and they would be safe from the prying eyes of humanity.
The deep chill of winter had long since sent the smaller residents of the island into their burrows and nests, and the vegetation was locked in winter’s death. There was no power here but his, nothing to steal, no one to feed her. Coming to this place forced her to put herself in his hands, to trust he would take care of her.
Evan wondered how far he could push that fragile faith.
“You promised to feed me.”
“So I did.” He stood firm, did nothing.
“Well?”
“I’ll take care of you,” he said, repeating his earlier promise. “All you have to do is ask.”
Her hands tightened into fists and her face flushed with rage.