Emily Calls It (The Emily Series) (6 page)

***

Before I knew it, my stomach started to rumble. After an inner scolding about waking up too late to make lunch, I remembered there was a sandwich shop in the lobby, so I did a quick wallet check and found six dollars. Pulling a novel from my purse, I was glad that I had this ridiculous habit of always carrying my current favorite book with me
.
I didn’t mind eating alone as long as I had something to read. Otherwise, I found myself awkwardly staring around waiting for the food. That always looks weird. So I strolled into the sandwich shop as if I did it every day with my purse slung over one shoulder and book tucked under my other arm. I ordered a sandwich, and found a small table by the window.

While I waited, I th
umbed through my book to find the place
I
’d
left off. You’d think I’d have a bookmark, but that makes too much sense. I sank into the book, remembering the location, the time, and the characters since I last read it. When they called my name, I barely heard. Then the teenage kid behind the counter with his messy hair and a white apron called me again.

“Oh.” I hopped off my chair. “Sorry,” I said
,
embarrassed. He just nodded and handed me my sandwich. I poured myself some water from the self serve pitcher, and returned to my reading. I felt the place fill up around me. The buzz of voices crept up until it was actually loud. People moved in and out, not stopping long enough to eat here, as I was. Back to their desks or out to run errands, I presumed. During the time it took me to read a chapter and eat half my sandwich, the place cleared out, and I still had about twenty minutes left. I thought I was the only person in the shop until I caught movem
ent out of the corner of my eye
. I probably wouldn’t have looked up, but as I turned the page to start a new chapter, I heard him clear his throat. I lifted my eyes from the page, and he was looking at me. I smiled and tilted my book, noting he also had a book in his hand.

“Emily, you’re a reader too?” Mr. Ryan asked from the next table.

“I seem to always have a book around, so yeah, I guess.” I sort of fumbled my answer.

“What are you reading?” I pointed to his book with mine.

“Oh, Grisham. You?” He took a drink of his soda and looked at my book from across his table.

“Something I’ve read several times.
To Kill a Mockingbird
.” I lifted the cover so he could see.

“Harper Lee, a classic.” He looked pleased. “You know, I feel silly talking across our tables, can I join you?” It
was
a little silly.

“Sure.” I moved my purse and hung it on the back of my chair to make room. I was so engrossed in my project that I didn’t realize I hadn’t seen him all day in the office. He was dressed casually, more so than I ever saw him in class. He had on a striped polo shirt and khaki pants. He always seemed tall to me, maybe six feet, but today I noticed he was tan and more muscular than I had given him credit for. He even seemed younger, if that was possible. He was by no means old, maybe thirty at the most, but I didn’t know for sure.

“So, how are you enjoying working on the BBH building?”

“I finished the elevations this morning, and Whitney said something about having me do some sections.” I knew I was beaming at the idea of this. I couldn’t wait to get started.

He smiled down at his hands. “I’m glad you’re enjoying it.” I don’t know why, but I felt comfortable talking like this with him. And from his smile, I think he felt comfortable with me. Only weeks had passed since he was my teacher, but it seemed as if we were totally different people somehow. “Did
Sharon
tell you about the benefit next weekend?”

“Yes, it sounds like a great cause.” I paused for a second. “I feel a little weird about going, being so new.”

“You should really go. It’s a lot of fun and everyone will be there.”

I shrugged. “OK, I’ll come.” I didn’t need a lot of persuasion, I guess. Especially since I got the feeling he was encouraging me. I took the last sip of my water, set it down, glancing at my watch. “I better get back.”

“Yeah, me too,” he said as he leaned in to look at my watch. For just the quickest little second having him lean next to me made me feel warm. I looked back down trying not to smile. We gathered our things and headed out. I reached the door before Colin and although I didn’t expect it, he leaned in front of me and opened it, nodding me ahead of him. We headed up the stairs and through the lobby together before he went to his desk and me to mine. Again, no one looked at us or seemed to notice as we passed by.

The rest of the day went well, and as I left for the evening I had to smile. When I pulled my car door open I was still thinking about the office building I was working on when I saw Colin. He was leaving the office with a guy I’d seen before, but hadn’t met. I thought about waving but he wasn’t looking and I still felt a little of the student-teacher thing in the back of my mind. As I dipped into the driver’s seat I saw him looking my way with one hand up, palm open. I lifted my hand the same way, and then rested it on the steering wheel turning to back up. When I faced forward again he was gone.

Driving into my apartment complex I thought about what a great day I had. The work alone was exciting, but then there was the
unexpected lunch with Mr. Ryan…
I mean Colin. I sighed. It was nice to have him as my friend. Really nice, actually.

I was in another world as I walked up to my door, keys in hand, ready for a quiet evening to myself cleaning up whatever mess I’d left that morning. I had big plans to eat a bowl of ice cream barefoot on my patio under the warm summer evening sky. It was a foolproof plan, or so I thought before I turned the corner and saw him. My smile faded. I stopped in my tracks. I was no longer in my happy little world, but right back in the pain I was trying so hard to move beyond.

“Graham, what are you doing here?”

SEVEN

Backsliding…Just a Tad

I felt the bottom drop out of my stomach at the sight of him. It had only been a couple of weeks, but I was starting to smile again. Now that smile was gone, and I was right back in the agony he left behind.

“I need to talk to you, Emily.” I walked passed him, into the apartment. He followed. “You haven’t returned any of my phone calls. You’re not even hanging out with your friends.

“What?” I whipped around. What was he talking about? And what business was it of his?

“I’ve seen Trish and Allison, talked to them both, but you haven’t been around.”

“I was out of town.” I put my purse on the counter. “What do you want, Graham? And don’t say ‘to talk’ because there’s nothing to talk about
.
” I was tired of this, and I just didn’t have the energy to fight with him anymore. I pulled the tie out of my hair letting my ponytail fall. Running my fingers through my hair I knew it couldn’t look good, but I didn’t care.

“Look, I’m tired, Graham. And what’s left to say? You cheated on me and now you’re with her. Good for you.” I kicked off my shoes. “I’ve been looking forward to a bath all day. Just leave.” I turned around hoping I’d hear his footsteps in the opposite direction. But nothing. I faced him again. I felt exhausted at the thought of discussing anything with him. Why wouldn’t he leave? God, I was tired.

“I’m not with Nicole. I made a huge mistake being with her, and I miss you so much. I just can’t lose you. Please Emily.” He took my hands in his. “I love you, I’ll do anything.” Just the touch of his hands on mine was warm and familiar. I missed him so much that my heart sped up. I closed my eyes, conflicted and confused
.
I couldn’t think of anything to say. I couldn’t tell him to leave because I really didn’t want him to go, but I couldn’t open my eyes either. I was frozen in the moment, waiting for whatever decision I was going to make, afraid of it, either way.

I felt Graham let go of one of my hands, then touch my cheek. I leaned into the warmth of his hand feeling myself exhale at his touch. When I opened my eyes, his were right in front of mine and we held that instant for a few breaths. This set of feelings was new to me
. I was still hurt but my heart…
it was so full with him near me. Then I just stopped thinking. He cradled my face in his hands and kissed me slowly. I savored each of his kisses reaching for him. I was lost. Then coherent thoughts returned to me and I pulled away. Graham searched my face for an answer.

“Graham, I can’t do this. You should go.”

“But.” He stroked my cheek with his fingers. It felt amazing, I missed his touch so much, but it wasn’t right. I couldn’t trust him.

I walked away from him and folded my arms in front of my chest. “Please.” I tried to
take a breath in. “Please go.” It w
as all I could say. I heard the front door close and the tears started to fall. I had never been more confused in my life. I slumped down on the floor and held my knees, sobbing.

After some self-
pity and tears, I pulled myself together and decided to combine my two evening plans. I filled a bowl with ice cream and took it with me to the bath. Perfect! I sank in the bubbles and clanked the bowl with every scoop I took. Now I understood what people were talking about when they mentioned comfort foods. I had heard of mashed potatoes, soup and stews but my comfort food was ice cream and it was just the ticket.

After my steamy bath and melting ice cream it was only eight o’clock, and still daylight. I was tired and emotionally drained, and I just wanted to sleep. I shut my blinds and slipped my favorite cotton nightgown over my head and down my arms. It was short and pink, not a color I would wear anywhere but to bed. I snuggled into it, and curled up in
a
ball on top of my covers. Only seconds later I was asleep. I woke in the morning
in just about the same position
–
and super hungry.

I made myself a stack of pancakes and ate while I watched the morning news. Nothing of real interest, except the high temperatures. Should be a hot week
.
Rinsing my dishes, I heard the phone ring but I thought it might be Graham so I kept walking to my bedroom to get ready for work. After I scrunched my hair into some wavy curls, I went through my closet looking for something cool to wear. The news said hot, so I found a nice sundress that would do and paired it with a short-sleeved jacket
.
I finished getting ready, and packed my lunch, pausing by my answering machine before I left. Out of morbid curiosity I pressed the play button. My heart squeezed tightly when I heard Graham’s voice. I walked out
,
locking the door behind me while his message kept playing
.
             

EIGHT

The Benefit

The next few days went by in a blink. I was so busy that I lost myself in the project. It was going well and I was learning so much. That Friday I woke up almost sad that the weekend was ahead of me, with no cool office building to work on for two whole days. That was new. But it was a Friday, and that meant cubicle chatter about the upcoming weekend and this new thing called ‘casual Friday.’ Jeans. Yes!  I certainly didn’t mind. The big topic was the benefit on Saturday, and everyone from the firm was going
.

Whitney went on and on about this amazing black backless dress she was wearing. With all my Graham drama, I hadn’t given a thought to what I would wear, and that was seriously not like me. I decided shopping was a must. I knew just who to call.

Allison was ready to go as soon as I got off work. I asked her to meet me at my place, and sure enough she was waiting for me when I got there.

“You know what?” I asked.

“What?” she asked back playfully.

“Yo
u should really have a key. And…
I just happen to have an extra one.” I tried to make light of how heavy that subj
ect was, but she didn’t buy it.
Instead she gave me a pat on the back to acknowledge the situation without saying a word about Graham.

“So Emily, what are we shopping for?” Allison asked.

“A dress.” I chirped.

“For what? You have a ton of dresses.”

“Our firm is hosting a benefit tomorrow night. I thought I told you.”

“Um, no. But it sounds like fun.” I could hear the relief in her voice.

“Yeah, it should be,” I replied
,
thinking, ‘I hope so.’ I dropped my purse on the counter, and thumbed through my mail
, tossing it down, too. “But
I think everyone is going to get really dressed up, and all my dresses a
re casual. I guess it’s a black-
tie event.” Then I started to worry about money. (I made a little money at my internship, but not much.) Yikes, how much would a gown cost?

“You know,” she said lifting and pointing her finger at me. “Melinda told me about this great dress shop downtown.”

I worried even more. How much was this going to set me back?