He'd do just about anything when she gave him that patented smile of hers and crawled onto his lap to kiss him senseless. He wanted Emily. Wanted her badly. He felt the burning need to be her first, last, and only.
Jake smiled as he felt Emily's hands slide around his waist. She moved under his arm and came around to stand in front of him.
"That didn't take as long as I expected," he said.
"And it takes even less time to remove them." She moved against him.
"You are an evil woman."
Emily purred. "I am nearing the end of my patience."
Jake didn't reply, even though her words mirrored his thoughts. Instead, he dropped a kiss on her forehead and held her close. He was being entirely too honorable. He wanted to take her to bed or to the couch. She wanted him to take her to bed or to the couch. Hell, Emily was so high strung that she wouldn't care if her first time happened in the walk-in cooler.
Her first time.
He let the notion of being her first lover roll around his mind for a while. He liked it. 'Like' was too mild of a word for what he felt about introducing the woman in his arms to fine art of lovemaking.
Her first time. It should be special. It should be a wondrous event which sweet Emily would look back on with a tender smile.
Jake knew enough about her to know that she was a romantic by nature. Her favorite book was
Cinderella
and her favorite movie was a Disney flick. The same Disney movie his mother and sister had forced him to watch during the rainy days during their family vacations in the mountains—
The Parent Trap
.
Yes, Miss Emily was definitely a romantic. And as such, she deserved to have her first time be everything she dreamed of and more. It was up to Jake to make sure Emily received everything she deserved.
It was up to Jake to make her first time perfect. He let his thoughts wander and brainstorm ideas. He gazed out into the night and watched the stars shine their approval down on them. A fine dinner. A bowl of strawberries and vanilla ice cream. Candle light. Music? No. Music would cover up the sweet cries of Emily's passionate nature. They would make their own music.
Where? His place or hers? Neither, he told himself with a sly smile. Jake needed a place where the world and their business lives could disappear. There should be no distractions. He'd get a hotel room. He thanked the lawyer, Stuart, for the idea. A honeymoon suite with a Jacuzzi. Flowers and candle light. Flowers? Jake's brow furrowed. He didn't know Emily's favorite flower. Then again, giving her her favorite flower might be too much. Perhaps a single white rose? Maybe.
He needed to think on it some more.
Jake looked across the courtyard to the stark loneliness of his balcony and wondered at how much his life had changed in less than two measly weeks of being with Emily. He was finding it increasingly difficult to imagine himself without her.
And to top it all off, the dreaded commitment idea was coming to the forefront of his mind more and more lately.
"Penny for your thoughts?"
Jake looked down into Emily's glowing, up-turned face. "I was just thinking how different the world looks from your balcony."
"Is that good or bad?"
Jake laughed and looked out over the courtyard. "I suppose… the more I look the better it gets."
"Is
that
good or bad?"
"I don't know," Jake murmured. "I'll let you know when I figure it out."
Emily smoothed her hands up his chest. "This may sound strange, but… I feel like I can tell you anything." She shook her head and laughed at herself. "Anything. Everything."
Jake dropped a kiss on her forehead. "You can."
He felt rather than saw her expression turn serious. "I… I'll tell you later."
Jake had the feeling that whatever it was she wanted to tell him was important. "Tell me what?"
"Later." Emily looped her arms around his neck, then tugged him down for a kiss. "Did I mention how sexy you look tonight?"
"No, you didn't and you're changing the subject. What did you want to tell me?"
"Did I mention how ready I am for us to consummate this relationship," she murmured against his lips.
"Sweetheart, I'd have to be dead not to know how ready you think you are."
"I
am
ready and I want to know why you are making me wait," Emily demanded with an adorable pout.
Jake held her close and buried his face in the crook of her shoulder and neck, then inhaled her sweet peach scent and spoke the words which dwelled deep within him. "We are waiting because I want everything to be perfect."
"It will be."
"We are waiting because you mean more to me than ever could have imagined. Because I don't want you to have any regrets about me."
"But, Jake, I—"
"Because," he interrupted. "You deserve more than I've ever given."
Emily made a small frustrated sound. "I don't want more. I want what you're offering."
Jake heard the tiny tremor in her voice and closed his eyes. The warring of her different personas, Lee versus Emily, was a definite problem. The Lee aspect of her personality would rather die than let anyone get close enough to hurt sweet Emily. Now, all Jake had to do was convince the woman in his arms that he wouldn't hurt her. That he wouldn't turn his back on her—like her mother had done. That he would cherish her for as long as they were together.
"Jake, I'm not interested in weddings and babies. There's no room in my life for them. I don't want them in my life."
He pressed a kiss to the smooth column of her throat. "Liar," he chided gently.
Emily tensed. "I am not lying."
"Uh-huh." There wasn't enough time to get into this argument. The gang down at The Brigade was expecting them. Jake loosened his hold on her and stepped back. "We better get going."
"Jake, I was not lying."
He ushered her into the living room, then closed and locked the balcony door. "I don't know about you, but I'm starving."
Emily planted herself in front of him and braced her hands on her hips. "I was not lying," she ground out through clenched teeth.
Jake drew in a deep breath. "One of these days, you will realize that you don't have to pretend with me."
"What does that mean," Emily demanded.
"That means that I will never expect you to be other than who you are." Jake shifted his weight from one foot to the other and regarded her with a thoughtful gaze. "At first, I didn't understand why you let people call you Lee, but then I figured it out."
"Oh, I can't wait to hear this."
Jake ignored her sarcasm. It was a protective instinct. "Lee is the person you want the world to know. She's the hard ass business woman who would rather die than be caught dead in a dress with flowers on it." He softened his voice and brushed his knuckles across her cheek. "Lee is sweet, innocent Emily's protector."
"You're wrong."
Jake smiled. "But Lee's gotta realize that sweet, innocent Emily has a new protector and he won't hurt her."
"You've been watching too much Oprah." Emily spun on her heel and marched towards the door. "Come on. Let's go get this contract signed."
"Emily?"
"What?"
"You can trust me. I won't turn my back on you. I won't promise what I can't deliver. I won't lie to you. I won't cheat on you. I don't give a damn about your money. I don't want just your body. I want more than that. But you should know that I am prepared to give more than I have ever given before."
Jake paused. "There are some people who think men only want to control, dominate, and use women. But that's not true. A real man knows the value of a woman. And a real man will fight 'til his dying breath to protect his woman."
"Is that all a real man will do?" Emily didn't turn around, but he heard, felt, and saw the vulnerability in her. She was trying so hard to be strong.
"No," Jake said. "There's more. Much more. I would tell you everything, but I'd rather you trust me enough to find out for yourself."
She's the one
.
Jake blinked at his reflection in the mirror. He asked his gut to repeat its decree.
Emily's the one. She's the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. It's time, Jacob.
"Time for what," he muttered.
To settle down.
"No," he replied.
Yes
, his gut countered.
It'd take all day to explain the whys and hows it happened, but the truth is pretty darn obvious.
Jake frowned. The voice of his conscience sounded too much like his mother. He was close to Saint Lily, but… this was taking things too far. Besides that, Jake wasn't the settling down type. He had a hard enough time keeping himself on the straight and narrow. He wasn't what Emily needed for the rest of her life. Emily needed a strong man who would be capable of—
Jacob L. Grayden
, his conscience interrupted,
one mistake did not ruin you for life.
Jake groaned and scrubbed his wet hair with the towel. "One mistake which nearly cost me my sanity, my family, and my life."
A weak man would have let it ruin him.
Jake scrubbed harder. "And a strong man would've never sought solace in the depths of Jose Cuervo."
Jacob, if you don't wise up and stop punishing yourself for one itsy-bitsy mistake, then you will lose more than Emily. Because Emily is the best thing to happen to you since you opened The Brigade.
"I am not punishing myself," Jake muttered. He winced and yanked the towel from his sore head. "And it was more than an itsy-bitsy mistake."
Jacob, wouldn't you like to settle down, have a couple of kids, and spend the rest of your life with the woman you love?
Jake shook his head and did his best to ignore Saint Lily's voice in his head. There wasn't a thing he wouldn't do for his virtuous Mama, but this was taking things too far.
"Much too far."
But the sad part was Jake suspected his mother was right. He knew he'd paid too much attention to how his family had interacted with Emily last night. His mother had spent the majority of the get-together pointing out Emily's best qualities to Jake.
Like he needed anyone to point out Emily's endearing traits. Emily was perfect and all he wanted.
Katie had even cornered Jake to add her two cents and give him the thumbs up. As if he needed his little sister's approval.
Jake smiled. He may not need it, but it was nice to know that the two most important women in his life thus far approved of his girlfriend.
Colonel Jed even approved of Emily. How could he not? Emily was as cute as buttons and so damn adorable, lovely, precious, generous, caring, giving, and… perfect.