Emmy & Oliver (29 page)

I looked at my dad. He looked back at me. Then we both tried not to laugh.

“How long does this go on for?” someone said into my ear as we headed toward my civics classroom and I turned around to see Oliver standing next to me as our parents all greeted one another. (Rick was at the twins' future elementary school, probably taking copious notes for Maureen.)

“Forever,” I whispered back, then found his hand and squeezed it. “Hope you didn't make plans for the next three days.”

“Does this seriously happen every year?” he asked.

“Look at my eyes,” I said, then widened them dramatically. “Does this look like the face of someone who would joke about this?”

“You look deranged,” he said, and we both leaned forward a little before we remembered where we were, and more important, who we were with.

“You must be so happy to be here,” my mom said, and Maureen could only nod as her eyes filled with tears.

“Mommm,”
Oliver said. “You promised you wouldn't, not here.”

“I know, I know,” she said, then waved her fingers in front of her eyes as if to fan away the tears. “I just haven't been to one of these since first grade, you know?” She started to tear up again, then stopped herself. “It just feels good to be back in the swing of things.” Maureen smiled at Oliver, then reached for his hand. “We're just . . . we're trying.”

Oliver nodded, but didn't let her hold his hand. “Mom,” he said again. “We're at school, okay?”

“Sorry, sorry,” she said again, then rolled her eyes at my mom as if to say,
Teenagers
. My mom smiled back and luckily for her, didn't try and hold my hand, either.

“Do you wanna go walk?” I asked Oliver. “Unless you want to see all of your teachers for a second time today, that is.”

“Um, no,” he said.

“Is it okay if we . . . ?” I asked, pointing down the hall. “We'll stay on campus.”

My mom raised an eyebrow at me. “
Only
walking,” she said. “No funny business.”

“Got it,” I said, even as I linked hands with Oliver. “No telling jokes or making humorous observations.”

“Oh, get out of here,” my dad said, swatting at my head as I ducked past, and I giggled as Oliver ran to keep up with me.

I don't know why my mom thought we'd spend our time kissing on campus. To be honest, high school isn't the most romantic setting. It smells like dirty linoleum and tempera paint, along with paper and burnt coffee and gym socks, and besides, there were probably a thousand students and their parents wandering around. Still, it was nice to wander with Oliver and not have to listen for a creaky floorboard or keep an eye out for the twins, who were forever curious about why we were always studying together.

“It's gonna be weird to be here next year without you,” Oliver said. “Who's going to eat lunch with me?”

“Don't say that,” I said. “I'll still come back and visit. And who knows, I might not even go.”

Oliver glanced down at me. “You don't mean that.”

I shrugged. “Maybe. I don't know. It's scary, you know? Moving. Leaving my bedroom. Leaving my parents.” I took a deep breath. “Leaving you.”

“Well, I left you,” he pointed out. “Think of it as payback.”

“You didn't leave,” I started to say, but just then Caro came running up. I had seen her at school, but both of us had been going out of our way to avoid talking to one another, and I actually took a step back when she came closer. “Caro?” I said.

“Yeah. Hi. Look, Drew's upset.”

“Drew is? About what?”

“You should probably just come with me.”

My heart was starting to pick up pace. Drew never really got upset. He had always been the peacemaker between me and Caro, between Kane and his parents, between his parents and himself. “Okay,” I said, then gestured to Oliver to follow me.

“Wait, no,” Caro said. “Just you, Emmy.” She looked at Oliver, her face a protective shield. I knew what she was thinking:
Oliver isn't one of us anymore.

I was about to protest, but to my surprise, Oliver spoke up first. “Caro, wait,” he said, and she sighed and turned to face him, her arms folded over her chest. The campus lights had come on, bathing us in a watery yellow light. Under them, Caro looked tired and concerned and unsure, so unlike her normal self. “What?” she asked.

Oliver glanced at me before taking a deep breath and turning back to Caro. “Look, Caro, I know that I came back and sort of changed everything, especially for you and Emmy and Drew. I get it, okay? But we were friends once before and it'd be cool if we could try to be friends again. Not, like, re-creating what we had when we were seven, but as who we are now.”

Caro's eyes filled with tears before she hastily brushed them away, and I realized that Oliver's return had impacted more than just my family and his family. We weren't the only people who had known him. Caro and Drew had been there the day Oliver's dad drove off with him. The police had questioned them, too. And when Oliver came home, they had been standing right next to me.

“Fine,” she said. “Come on, Drew's waiting.”

We followed her out to the parking lot, where Drew was standing near his parents' Escalade. It loomed in the near-darkness and made Drew look even smaller. “No, I don't know,” he was saying into his cell when we arrived, his back turned to us. “Okay . .
. yeah, okay. Love you, too, Kane. Okay, yeah. Bye.” When he turned and saw us, his cheeks were wet, and Caro immediately went to his side and wrapped her arm around his waist.

“What's wrong?” I asked, shivering a little as the fog started to roll in. Next to me, Oliver pulled on his hoodie and zipped it up a little more in front.

“It's stupid,” Drew said, shaking his head. “It's just . . . so stupid. It doesn't matter.”

“It matters,” Caro murmured. “It matters a lot.”

“What happened?” I asked again. “Is it Kevin? Did you break up?”

“No, no,” Drew said. “At least, not yet.”

“Dude,” Oliver said. “Just tell us what happened.” His voice was kind, though, and I thought it was a good thing that he was there, because I was about ready to shake the answer right out of Drew.

“I asked my parents if I could bring Kevin to my grandma's birthday party,” Drew said, his voice trembling a little. “And at first they said they had to think about it, and then tonight before we came here . . . they said they thought it wouldn't be a good idea.” He was twisting his own hoodie strings around his fingers so that they cut off the circulation. It looked painful but I didn't move to stop him.

“Wait, why?” I asked as Caro rubbed his back. “I thought they were cool with this. I mean, not cool, but . . .”

“Yeah, well.” Drew laughed a little. “They say they're cool with it, but my grandma's a different story.”

“So tell your grandma to fuck off,” Caro spat, and Drew gave her a one-armed hug.

“It's a little hard to do that when she controls the money,” he said, then took another deep breath. “I guess my dad's business isn't doing so well?” He said it like a question, like he wasn't even sure if it was the truth or not. “And she's been helping my parents out with, like, mortgage payments and stuff like that.”

“And they think she'll cut them off if she finds out you're gay?” I cried.

“Apparently, Grandma's old school,” Drew sighed.

“Apparently, Grandma's a homophobe,” Caro corrected him. (I hoped for Drew's grandma's sake that she and Caro never met in a dark alley.)

“Whatever she is, it means that I can't bring Kevin to the party.”

Oliver, who had been very still, suddenly spoke up. “It's not about the party,” he said quietly. “You want your parents to stick up for you.”

“I just want to know I'm worth more to them than some fucking mortgage payment!” Drew said, then quickly wiped his eyes on his wrist cuff. “Like, this was all just fine in
theory. But now that they actually have to tell people and deal with that, they're just bailing. And I don't get to bail because this is my life, you know? And I don't want to bail, I don't mean it like that, but I just wish they weren't standing so far behind me.”

He glanced over at Oliver. “Can I tell you something?”

“Yeah, man, sure.” I could feel Oliver's posture stiffen, though, his spine suddenly straight.

“Sometimes I get so jealous of you.” Drew stabbed at the ground with the toe of his shoe. “Your parents both wanted you so much. I know that's not fair and I'm sorry it sounds bad, but that's how I feel.”

Oliver nodded slowly, taking it in. “I feel like I should apologize or something,” he said, and we all giggled nervously. I looped my arm around his, holding him close. “Wanting someone isn't the same as loving them, though,” he said. “You know? It doesn't mean the same thing.”

“No, I know, I know,” Drew said, wiping at his face again. “Sorry, that sounds so awful. I hate that I think that.”

“It's okay,” Oliver said. “I get it. I do.” He put his hand on Drew's shoulder, anchoring him.

“I just don't want Kevin to think that, like, I'm ashamed to be seen with him or something,” Drew sighed. “Or that I don't want him around my family. Well, actually, now I kind of
don't
want him around them, but—”

“Drew?”

A dark figure was walking toward us in the parking lot, a little unsure. It was Kevin.

“I texted him,” Caro said. “I thought you might want to see him.”

Kevin looked at the four of us. I guess we were a little formidable, gathered around Drew like a small army. “Hi,” he said. “Um, Caro texted me? She said you were out here.”

“Hi,” Drew said. “God, I'm a disaster right now. Sorry.”

“Hey.” Kevin's face grew concerned and he seemed to close the distance between them into two steps. “What's wrong?”

Drew took a long, shaky breath, then hugged Kevin. They were talking, their voices muffled against each other's shoulders, and I was about to gesture to Caro and Oliver that we should probably leave when I heard my mother's voice cut across the parking lot.

“Emily!”

My head jerked up. My parents rarely, if ever, used my actual first name. No one
else ever used it. The only time I really heard the name
Emily
was on the first day of school when teachers took roll for the first time. Then I'd say, “I actually prefer being called Emmy,” and that'd be it until the following year.

My parents were standing near the school entrance, across the parking lot from us. Even from that distance, I could see that they were furious. My mom looked like she could send herself into the air and fly over to us like she was Iron Man, that's how angry she was.

Even Caro noticed. “Whoa,” she said softly.

“Yeah,” I said. “Whoa.” My knees started to feel wobbly and I glanced over at Drew and Kevin, who were still hugging but both looking in my parents' direction.

“I think I have to go,” I said.

“Emmy,
now
!” I heard my mom yell again.

“Uh, yeah, you do,” Drew said. “Are they going to lock you in a tower or something? What'd you do?”

“Nothing that they should know about,” I said, and then I realized with a sobering rush that I had done a lot of things my parents shouldn't know about, and maybe that wasn't the case anymore.

“I'll go with you,” Oliver said, untangling my arm from his so he could hold my hand instead. “You might need a witness.”

“Are you going to be okay?” I asked Drew, who just nodded and then buried his face back into Kevin's shoulder. Kevin, for his part, just closed his eyes and hugged him back, and I knew that they'd be fine. Kevin wasn't going to break up with Drew. They'd be okay.

It was suddenly me that I was worried about.

Oliver and I hustled across the parking lot toward my parents. My mom's arms were crossed now and my dad had the deep wrinkle between his eyes that he always gets whenever he frowns a lot. “What's wrong?” I asked as soon as we were close enough. I thought it was a good idea to sound like we were all on the same side, like I wasn't the person who may or may not be responsible for all of the fury that seemed to be coming off them in waves.

“Oliver, your mom's inside,” my dad said. “Go inside and find her, okay? We need to talk to Emmy.”

“Oh. Um, okay. Yeah, I just—” Oliver let go of my hand reluctantly and I felt our fingertips slip apart. “You're okay?”

“She's fine,” my mom said, and the way she said it didn't leave me feeling exactly
reassured. It sounded like I was about to be the opposite of fine, like I would be one of those bodies that always seems to turn up in the first five minutes of a
Law & Order
episode. They're never fine.

“Oliver,” my dad said, and Oliver shot one quick glance back at me before hurrying off. I was glad he didn't try to kiss me.

“In the car,” my mom said, and I followed them, trying to think of something that would set them off. No one would tell them about my surfing. I hadn't mentioned UCSD to anyone except Caro and Drew and Oliver and none of them would spill my secret. All of my teachers liked me and I was doing fine in school. I had used my phone in calculus last week to text Caro—was that was this was about? I didn't think the teacher had even seen me do that.

As soon as we got in the car and my dad started the engine, I finally leaned forward between the seats. “Um, can you please tell me what's going on?”

“Isn't that an interesting question,” my mom said. “That's my question, too, Emily. Just what is going on?”

“I—I have no idea,” I said. “Dad?”

He just drove, though. My dad always did the silent “we are so
disappointed
” routine, while my mom was the one who did the shouting and the “what were you
thinking
?” histrionics. They worked well as a team, except when they were teamed up against me. Then it was a problem.