Until I took up my position at the palace, I had always venerated Mother as an idol: Her erudition was quite equal to a man’s. Her words were inspired; she had a serene strength that had protected me from the vices of the men in the clan. When she came to present herself at Court, I saw that sixteen years of misery had gradually worn her down; she had become passive, pessimistic, and conciliatory. Her words of wisdom that had rung comfortingly in my ears were reduced to the weary moans of a frightened old woman.
Mother had passed her fervor on to me. I had stolen her valiance. She had dreamed of seeing me married happily to a minor official and was terrified to see me fighting for the position of Empress.
“Once the moon is full,” she warned me, “it begins to wane; the higher we climb, the harder we fall. A man should learn to be satisfied with what he already has!”
Her pronouncements had irritated me, and I replied: “You have misunderstood me, good lady. Empress Wang has tarnished her title. Under her rule, the Inner Palace has sunk into chaos, and the sovereign’s life is in danger. I am determined to make His Majesty happy and peaceful. This is not a question of personal ambition.”
Later she had defended my rivals: “No one should kill a woman who can no longer do any harm. Buddha would have granted both criminals the chance to repent! Majesty, I beg you, shut them away in a monastery-give them an opportunity to pray for their future existence.”
“Buddha grants his unlimited compassion to the living because he is invincible,” I replied. “I am a mere mortal. Here in the Forbidden City, every life hangs by a thread. Even if I feel pity in my heart, my reason forbids it. Good lady, what you are asking is impossible.”
Later Mother learned of the sovereign’s liaison with Elder Sister. In veiled terms she criticized me for corrupting Purity’s virtue.
“The primary virtue in life,” I told her, “is order. Thanks to Purity, I have secured the imperial seed exclusively. Now there are no births anywhere outside my palace, and there is only one uncontested Mistress in the Inner City. That is how I have succeeded in imposing virtue that has been neglected for so long. The concubines have stopped their jealous posturing, the eunuchs no longer dare dally in intrigues. I have banished frivolity and introduced a mood of restraint. The Court ladies have followed my example by removing their jewels and wearing simple gowns and leggings. They have started studying the Great Classics and practicing sport. I have had the names of their titles changed: They are no longer called Precious Wife, Gracious Wife, or Delicious Concubine-all names that reduced them to sexual objects. They have become Supervisor of Piety, Overseer of Morality, and Servant of Wisdom. With the money that I have saved on our clothes, I have financed the construction of Buddhist temples so that messages from the Great One can spread to the four corners of Earth. Good lady, the sovereign’s kindness has seen an unloved widow blossom. The happiness of millions of people has resulted from her corruption. Purity is more virtuous than any religion!”
Mother was outraged, and she started to pray day and night to secure Buddha’s forgiveness for our incestuous affections. Purity was indifferent to her torment. I heaped honors and gifts on Mother and started treating her like a little girl. At the time, my sister and I could not imagine the fears of a woman who had seen a dynasty fall, a fortune dissolve, and fate overturned.
To us the inconstancies of this ephemeral world were still a source of poetic melancholy and negligible suffering.
I had enjoyed Little Phoenix’s favor for ten years, a miraculously long time for carnal passion to survive. Even though I had added to his sensual delight by offering him the young virgins I called to my bed, I knew that he would eventually tire of these repeated orgies and that one day he would succumb to a new infatuation. At thirty, Little Phoenix had become slow and listless. I felt responsible for this apathy that betrayed the boredom in his soul. While I was looking for a trustworthy young woman capable of reawakening his sexual energy, I learned that the sovereign’s heart had been inflamed once more and that his conquest had already been consummated. Her name was Harmony. She was Purity’s daughter.
Even when she was just twelve years old, word of her beauty had spread through both capitals. Key families and Court dignitaries had sent their most persuasive emissaries to my sister. Mother had opposed a very early marriage; at eighty, she could not bear to be separated from her granddaughter. The matrimonial negotiations broke up and then began again several times. None of them was ever very serious.
Harmony had been raised by her grandmother. The one reaching the twilight of her years idolized the one flowering with the dawn. The spoiled child had become a rebellious adolescent; the charms of puberty had probably awakened the sovereign’s attentions. It was also possible that this precocious niece had always nurtured a fascination for an inaccessible uncle. With her wide, curving brow; her fine, willful mouth, and her proud, haughty bearing; she was like me… alas, even down to her taste for incest.
I closed my eyes to this clandestine love. But the day Purity learned of this betrayal, she flew into a rage. One morning, a group of eunuchs burst into my palace. An argument had broken out between the Lady of the Kingdom of Han and her young rival. “The noble lady slapped her daughter,” I was told. “She called for a strong rope with which to strangle her!”
I ran to my sister’s pavilion. The governess’s cries announcing my arrival immediately calmed both women. Purity was lying prostrate, and Harmony was kneeling stiff and motionless beside her. Her face was rigid as an iron mask and showed no trace of tears. She was staring darkly at the ground and greeted me with one sharp gesture.
“What does this mean?” I asked them. “You have fought in the Inner Palace and for that you both deserve twenty strokes of the plank! For two women of my clan to argue like common shrews is an insult to my favor and my patience! Take Harmony away, shut her up, and have her copy out
The Book of the Virtuous Women
ten times!”
Once Harmony and her retinue had moved away, I spoke to my sister: “How could you get so angry that you forgot the dignity required by your rank? Before making such a scene, think of the mocking smiles of all the ladies and the laughter of all the high-ranking women in the Outer Court. Everyone envies the power our household enjoys. Why give them an opportunity to gossip about us? Have you thought of Mother? She is eighty-three. How would she cope with the sorrow if she saw you strangle her favorite granddaughter! Your extreme nobility demands that you be a model for every woman in the Empire. Is this any way to behave?”
Crippled with shame, she walked on her knees, pressed her forehead to the ground, and asked my forgiveness. I ordered the servants to serve us tea. A eunuch master of ceremonies appeared. He pounded the tea in the canister, brought the spring water to a boil, rinsed the cups, and let the green powder infuse before adding a pinch of salt.
Purity confided her distress to me: “Majesty, I have projected so many hopes and ambitions onto Harmony! All these dreams are now dashed forever. The gods have just robbed me of both the sovereign and my daughter. Who would dare to wed a young woman deflowered by the Son of Heaven? Why did I not marry her sooner? Is this a divine punishment for failing to observe abstinence as a widow?”
Tears streamed down her cheeks, but she went on: “Majesty, I beg you, as my daughter’s body is sullied, send her to a monastery, exile her far from the capital. As a nun, she will learn to pray for her future life, and Buddha will forgive her for her impurity.”
As I gave her no reply, she insisted: “Children come into the world to ensure the continuation of the lineage. They grow up to fulfill their filial duties toward their parents. Why does this she-devil want to rob me of the dearest thing I have in the world? Why did I give birth to my own rival in love? Majesty, I offer you her life. Please apply the laws of the clan to her: the death sentence for those who dishonor us!”
I repressed my pity and announced icily: “Good lady, you are jealous. Is that a sentiment worthy of your rank? Did you think the Emperor belonged to you alone, that his favor would last forever?”
Purity’s face twisted with pain.
“Majesty, have you forgotten the suffering you endured when the two commoners were alive? Have you never wanted to have the Emperor to yourself for one day, for one month, for life? I have not allowed any other woman touch him but you. For all these years, I have fought for him to be ours alone, and now my own daughter challenges me. When I close my eyes, I can see the longing in their eyes; I hear the Son of Heaven whispering tender words; I imagine his expression when he is holding her in his arms. I am an old woman of thirty-seven, while, at fifteen, Harmony is at the height of her beauty. How can I compete with her? Such treachery! Such ingratitude! Such scandal! One of us must die!”
I tried to reason with her: “Good lady, you make me laugh. You who read the Sacred Writings so fervently, you who have been reciting the sutra beside our venerable Mother since childhood, have you still not grasped that the law of impermanence applies to all things? That a man’s heart is far more vulnerable than a pearl of glass and is pervaded by inconstancy? Our sovereign has never loved one particular woman. He is permanently in pursuit of love, excitement, and his own delight. Neither you nor I can confront the whims of his heart; it would be as pointless and pretentious as trying to stop the sun from shining or the moon from waning. We can choose only resignation.”
“I would rather die.”
I hardened my tone still further: “Good lady, you have been raised to the first imperial rank. You are treated in a way worthy of a princess by blood. You owe all that to His Majesty. We are both on a downward spiral: We will never again be as fresh as we once were; we will not be able to keep a man for long when he thirsts for new beauty. Be grateful that his favor is staying in the family, that it is not some scheming outsider who would fight me for the title of Empress. Never forget how my deposed rivals Wang and Xiao ended their days. We too could fall like them.”
Purity opened her eyes wide with horror, then threw her hands over her face. She let out a rasping sob.
“I see now!” she cried. “A few years ago you pushed me into the sovereign’s arms so that I could keep him in your bed. Now you think I am old and tired, so you looked for a young girl who could act as bait for you and you chose Harmony! You can think only of holding on to your power!”
“Good lady, you have gone mad,” I said, leaping to my feet. “For all these years, I have never thought of my own happiness! I have struggled and upheld our family’s dignity, and I have worked for the prosperity of the Empire. Everything I have endured has been turned into the beautiful silks you wear and the sumptuous palace in which you live. There is not one thread, not one grain, not one crumb of your gilded existence that you do not owe to my hard work. Now you can meditate on that- I am leaving.”
Elder Sister threw herself at me and blocked my path with her body. She tore open her dress, and her breasts sprang out.
“Look, Majesty, I’m not yet ugly. I have no lines on my face or my breasts. I rub my groin with powders of pearl every day; it is still soft enough to accommodate the divine member. Majesty, give me back your Little Phoenix. I swear I shall satisfy his every desire. I will be grateful to you even into the next life!”
Elder Sister’s sobs rang out, echoing back to us through the deserted halls so that they sounded like the howls of some desperate animal. I sighed and left her to her pain.
When the Emperor came home from his hunting trip at twilight, he ran to my room.
“Heavenlight,” he said, watching my face closely, “I have heard that the Lady of the Kingdom of Han was angry and that you have had Harmony locked up. Why?”
I was saddened by Elder Sister’s selfishness and heartbroken at my husband’s frivolity, and I resented Harmony for upsetting the equilibrium that I had established in the Inner Palace.
My silence frightened the sovereign. He took my hands.
“For all these years,” he said, “I have had only you in my heart. The other women are just so much dust, butterflies for a day. You, though, are a tree that has taken root in my flesh.”
His tender words did nothing to move me. My husband used sweet caressing words like these to manipulate women’s hearts.
“The Lady of the Kingdom of Han is becoming unbalanced,” he admitted. “She spies on me and makes scenes. She cries all night and makes my life dark and sinister. If she were not your sister, I would have withdrawn her title and sent her to the Cold Palace.”
“The Lady of the Kingdom of Han has served His Majesty with devotion,” I said with a note of irony. “Have you forgotten the days of happiness so quickly?”
“I no longer desire her. I am tired of her fits of jealousy. I don’t want to make love with a bundle of tears. Do you understand that?”
“Is that a good reason to show an interest in Harmony? Now that you have done the rounds of the women in my clan, have you thought of what lies in store for them in their future?”
The Emperor flushed scarlet.
“I never think about that sort of thing,” he stammered, “because you are there to help me resolve all my problems. I have even entrusted my government and my empire to you. She’s very like you, the girl. So wild… so ardent! My sweet Heavenlight, life is short, and Harmony is my one last desire. Let me have her, and in return you shall have more honor than any empress has ever had!”
“Your Majesty has been suffering from violent migraines for some time,” I said in a gentler voice. “Your treatment requires a period of abstinence. Is this the time to be abandoning yourself to excesses?”
“My impatience to hold Harmony in my arms does me more harm than anything else. Please arrange this for me, please.”