Nick approached Jake and Rachel. “I’m so sorry.” His expression remained steadfast, but his eyes revealed his pain.
Rachel stepped closer and raised her hand, slapping his face with the strength that comes from overwhelming agony.
A mark immediately appeared on his cheek, but Nick didn’t flinch; instead, he absorbed the blow as though he’d deserved it.
“Rachel!” Jake pulled her back.
“You promised you’d find him. You promised you’d bring him home safe.” Rachel’s sorrow filled the entire room. Her anguish penetrated the very souls of all who stood near.
Kate turned away with welling eyes. She didn’t want to take anything from this woman who needed this moment of temporary release; one of many that would come in the weeks and even years ahead. She would not rob her of that with her distraction.
“Rachel, this isn’t Nick’s fault. He did everything he could.” Jake embraced his wife and looked to Nick. “I know you did everything you could.”
Nick inhaled a deep, controlling breath. His own emotions seemed ready to spill, but like Kate, he wouldn’t let that happen. “I know I let you down and I hope one day you’ll be able to forgive me.”
“Can we see our boy?” Jake asked.
“Yes. Follow me.” Nick headed toward the corridor, passing by Kate and Dwight. He locked eyes with Kate and a brief, knowing exchange of emotion drifted between them.
Detective Mason soon approached. “I’ll give them a minute before I go back.”
“We all held out hope for Colton.” Dwight turned his sights as Nick and Colton’s parents disappeared beyond the doors. “The most important thing now is to identify the other children in the photos and online posts. We still have a chance to save them.”
“I’m going to step outside for a moment.” Kate walked through the near-empty lobby and stepped outside, the sticky air immediately clinging to her skin. With no one in sight, she set free her emotions and fell back against the smooth stone wall only feet from the entrance. Her heart broke for those parents and for Nick. It didn’t matter that she was the one who found the evidence that could still save the other children if they acted fast enough, because it was too late to save the one who mattered most to Nick.
Kate retrieved her phone to call Mike but decided that perhaps now was not the right time. He would offer comfort to her and she wanted that, more than anything, but she was needed inside. Nick was going to need her. And so, she cleared her throat, dabbed her eyes with her fingers, and walked back in to face what would come next.
On her return, Nick was talking to Dwight and Detective Mason. Kate approached. “Are they still back there?”
“Yes. They need to say goodbye.” Nick held Kate’s gaze.
She knew what he felt, but could do nothing about it. “Of course.”
“We should probably head back. It’s late,” Dwight said. “We can get an early start on ID’ing the other kids, but I know we all need a few hours’ rest. Then we can track Stroud down before he finds his next victim.”
“That’s a good idea,” Mason replied. “Agent Scarborough, can I speak to you for a moment?”
The two walked outside, leaving Kate and Dwight to wonder what she needed to discuss that couldn’t be discussed in their presence.
“Listen,” Andrea began as the doors closed and they were alone, “I know what you’re going through right now and if it wouldn’t be too awkward, you’re welcome to come stay with me tonight. I’m only ten minutes away and I can get you back down to the station early.” She glanced through the glass at the other agents. “I don’t know how that would fly with your people, but I imagine you probably don’t care about that right now.”
Nick turned briefly to see Kate and Dwight huddled together in conversation. They didn’t seem concerned by the two of them alone outside. Or if they were, they weren’t showing it. He pressed his lips together in a thin smile, although his eyes still revealed the devastation of this latest blow. “I appreciate the offer, Andrea, but I just don’t think I can be around anyone right now. I need a few hours to clear my head. I doubt I’ll sleep, but I have to refocus so we can find Stroud before he takes another child.” He closed his eyes. “I let them down in the worst possible way and I need some time to come to terms with that. Please don’t be offended.”
“No. I’m not offended.” She raised onto her toes and kissed his still-reddened cheek. “Try to get some rest and I’ll see you in a few hours.”
FOURTEEN
“W
e could get
a hotel,” Dwight began as he opened the door to Nick’s SUV. “Or you guys can crash at my place. I’m closer than driving back to Woodbridge.”
“Maybe a hotel isn’t a bad idea,” Kate replied. “I just want to put my head down.”
“That’s fine. The closer we are, the better.” Nick keyed the ignition and pulled away from the hospital.
Kate searched on her phone for the nearest hotel. “How about the Holiday Inn? It’s two miles from here.”
“Perfect,” Nick replied.
They arrived in minutes and entered the lobby. The time had already passed one a.m. and they would need to be back at the station no later than five. Not much time, but enough to clear their minds so they didn’t make any mistakes. They couldn’t afford not to find Stroud when they had no idea who or where those children were. It had just become a race for time and their weary faces revealed anything but.
“I’m just gonna grab a drink to quiet my mind.” Nick started to walk into the lobby bar, which was only open until two a.m. “You guys can go on up to bed. No need to wait for me.”
“I’ll join you,” Dwight replied.
“Me too. I wouldn’t mind a drink to help me sleep.” The idea had been appealing. Taking the edge off in this moment was very much needed. And she knew Nick needed it, even if she disliked when he turned to alcohol for an answer. Right now, though, she wouldn’t nag him about it.
“Jack and Coke, please,” he said to the bartender before turning to the others. “What do you guys want?”
“That’s fine for me,” Dwight replied.
“Same here.”
“Are they transferring the body tonight?” Dwight asked.
“No.” Nick grabbed the glass the bartender placed in front of him. “Not until the autopsy is complete.”
“Right. I’m sure that didn’t go over well.”
“It didn’t and I don’t blame them.” Nick tossed a swig back.
Kate studied Nick’s face and couldn’t recall ever seeing him quite like this. “So, we’ll catch some sleep, then head out early, back to the station to meet with Mason?”
“Yeah. First thing we need to do is ramp up our search efforts for Stroud. He’s now killed three people and I have no idea if he’s even still in this state. It might be easier to find him than to find the kids in those pictures. Without names and locations…” He trailed off, tossing back the rest of his drink.
“We won’t have much time to rest, but a few hours will help.” Dwight glanced at his watch. “I’m going to head up now. I can’t keep my eyes open.” He pushed off the barstool.
“I’m right behind you.” Kate looked to Nick. “You should go lie down. There’s no telling when we’ll get another chance.”
“I don’t think I could sleep if I tried.” He raised a finger to order another drink.
Kate slid her arm around his to lock onto him. “Come on, Nick. You have to try.” She looked at the bartender with eyes that intimated another drink wasn’t necessary.
“She’s right, Nick. Let’s get some rest.” Dwight reached out for him.
“Hey, I got this, okay.” Nick raised his hands in protest. “I don’t need you two dragging me out of here.” He grudgingly rose from his seat. “Happy now?”
The elevator ride was painfully silent and Kate could feel Nick pulling away even further than he had in recent months. Dwight seemed to have felt it too.
The doors opened on to their floor. “Goodnight.” Kate walked past the two of them toward her room near the end of the corridor.
“Goodnight, Kate.” Dwight inserted his key and opened the door to his room, but not before turning back to Nick.
“You’ll be okay?”
Nick’s room was a few doors down. He simply nodded and walked away.
Kate locked her door and slid her shoes off, padding her way toward the bathroom. As she stared into the mirror, the image reflecting back was not of a woman filled with determination, as she had always been when working on a case such as this. The woman before her appeared grave, despondent, and worst of all, lacking faith.
Yes, she’d been the one with the big find today, but she was too late. The boy was dead and her dearest friend, the one who’d been there when she was at the lowest point in her life, appeared to lose all hope. It was his breaking point and she feared he would not be put back together.
Her eyes welled as she tried to remember that there were other lives that needed saving. Other children who were being hunted and they were the ones who would have to stop Stroud. But she wasn’t sure Nick could do it. Not after today.
She pressed a cool cloth on her face and returned to the bed. The unexpected overnight stay meant she would have to shed her clothes and hang them up for tomorrow. Kate crawled into bed and wondered if sleep would come. Her cell rested on the nightstand and she considered calling Mike, but he would surely be sleeping. It was almost two in the morning. And, he would only worry about her, so maybe it was best to wait until daylight. A thin smile only briefly appeared at the thought of him, then Kate closed her eyes.
A knock on the door took several moments to register in Kate’s hazy, sleepy mind. She glanced at the clock. It was four a.m. Was it time to leave already? She’d only just fallen asleep, it seemed.
Kate sat up, feeling slightly dizzy at the disruption and made it onto her feet when the knock occurred again. Realizing she was only in her underclothes, Kate grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her lower half as she was still in the camisole she wore beneath the blouse that hung in the closet.
She peeked through the security lens and immediately opened the door. “Are we leaving?”
“You need to come with me. It’s Nick.”
Dwight’s expression sent off alarm bells in Kate’s head. “Hang on. Let me slip on my pants.”
He turned away while she dressed, but she was back in an instant.
“Is he okay?” She followed him into the hall.
“That depends on your definition of ‘okay’.” Dwight pulled out the room key. “He’s drunk off his ass.”
They entered Nick’s room. The bar refrigerator was open and everything inside it had been strewn through the room and emptied.
“Oh my God.” Kate moved quickly toward Nick, who was on his back, his legs hanging off the bed. She turned to Dwight. “Did you wake him?”
“I did, but he must’ve passed out again when I came to get you. I got a strange text from him and came right down after that.”
“What the hell are we going to do? We have to be at the station soon.”
“I know. Listen, I need you to stay with him. I’ll go downstairs and get some food and coffee. I noticed a Starbucks kiosk near the lobby. Just wake him up and try to keep him alert.” Dwight turned on his heel. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
Kate walked into the bathroom and grabbed a washcloth, soaking it under the sink with cold water. She returned to Nick, who was still out cold, and pressed it against his forehead. “Nick, wake up. You need to wake up.”
He moaned and began to speak but was incoherent.
Kate moved the cloth to his neck and this seemed to jolt him and his eyes opened.
“What the hell are you doing?” He flinched.
“What did you do, Nick?” She pressed the cloth against his skin again and this time, he pushed it away and began to rise.
“Stop it, God damn it!” He was upright again and examined the aftermath of his binge through bloodshot eyes. “Jesus.” Tears began to spill as he pushed his hands through his tousled hair. “I can’t do this, Kate. I’m so fucking tired of this shit.”
“What are you talking about? You’ve been through this before. It’s not easy for any of us. Just give it time. This pain will pass.”
“Not this time.” He turned his attention to her. “I couldn’t save my friend’s son. You saw how they looked at me; like I failed them in the most horrific way any human being could fail another.”
“I know this is hard,” Kate began.
“You of all people should know just how fucking hard this is. So I got drunk. Big fucking deal.”
Kate was witness to his emotional rollercoaster that had turned from anger to sorrow to anger again. “You’re still drunk. That’s the big fucking deal. We can’t stop now and you know that. But what you’re doing—what you’ve done here? It’s only making things worse.”
Nick hunched over, his hands pressed against the top of his head. “Christ. It was the one thing I should’ve been able to do. It’s my God damn job.”
“Yeah, well, it’s mine too. Okay? You’re not the only one who failed the Talbots.” Nick wasn’t one to fall prey to self-pity and Kate hoped that by pointing this out, he might pull himself out of the black hole in which he’d begun to spiral down.
He raised his head—a pitiful expression through glassy eyes stared back at Kate. “Georgia was right to leave me. She saw who I really was, what I really felt.”
“What? Georgia was the one who screwed up. Look, Dwight will be back soon with some food and coffee and we’ll get you sobered up, okay?”
“She knew I was in love with you even before I did.”
The door opened swiftly with Dwight’s return. “You’re up. Good. Drink this.” He shoved the coffee into Nick’s hand and turned to Kate. “I got one for you too, if you’re interested.”
“Yeah, thanks.” She reached for the cup, but her head spun with confusion. Had she heard him right? His words were mumbled through the haze of alcohol.
“Are you okay?” Dwight asked. “You look like a deer in headlights. What happened?”
“Nothing.” She pushed off the bed and moved toward the chair that was shoved beneath a desk. “Thanks for the coffee. How long you think before he sobers up?” She cast a brief look to Nick, but he didn’t look back.
“Soon, I hope. We should really be back down there no later than six. We’ve got a lot of ground to cover today.” Dwight turned to him. “Drink up, buddy.” He stepped toward Kate. “This was about the kid, wasn’t it?”
“This one’s knocked him off his feet.” Kate looked at him again, but he still wouldn’t make eye contact. She didn’t know what to do, what to say.
He’s drunk
, she thought.
It’s just the booze talking
.
She couldn’t think about this now, not when they were on the hunt for Lyle Stroud. They had to stay on his trail or risk losing him again. And that couldn’t happen. She wouldn’t let it, even if that meant carrying the weight of Nick’s burden on her shoulders. Whatever just transpired had to be pushed aside because her friend was in pain and he was drunk and she had to help fix him.
» » »
The sun was just peeking out over the eastern sky when they arrived back at the station to see Detective Mason.
“How you doing?” Dwight was behind the wheel while Nick continued to dry out.
“Better. I’ll be all right.”
“Well, you still look like shit.”
“Thanks.” Nick looked through the side-view mirror at Kate.
She caught his gaze, but he quickly returned his attention to the front. “I see Mason out front now.” Kate noticed the woman as she stood outside the station doors with a coffee in hand.
She began to walk out to meet them.
Dwight opened the door and stepped outside. “Morning. You ready?”
“As I’ll ever be.” Mason turned and the two walked side by side. “You guys manage any sleep at all?”
“Some,” Dwight replied without acknowledging what had happened. No one would know that they’d spent the past two hours trying to sober up their boss.
Inside, the early hour seemed of no consequence to the many officers working hard to help find the man who just killed a boy and was looking to kill more. Kate almost felt guilty for leaving at all. “We’re going to need to take a two-pronged approach. Keep searching for Stroud and find out who those kids are and make sure they’re safe,” she said to Mason.
The team made their way into the bullpen where the images and maps and anything else that pertained to Stroud’s whereabouts lay upon a table. It wasn’t exactly the way things were usually laid out back at the WFO where they had space and privacy to create a board and a timeline. Here, the officers were crammed into a bullpen with a few low privacy walls between the desks and was open for suspects, victims, and the like to waltz right through. Not exactly the best place to line out what one was working on. Not to mention, most of these guys worked multiple cases at once. But they did the best they could with what they had.
“As you can see, we’ve already tried to begin making sense of the information you all found in his home,” Mason said.
Kate leaned in for a closer look. “What about getting some checkpoints in place? Can we reach out to State Police and get them up on the major highways, particularly leading out of state?” She looked at Dwight. “I can also get Vasquez to give us a hand with coordination.”
Nick walked toward the table and began to study it closely. “I count five children in total and he’s already taken two of them.” He pushed aside the photos of Emily Aldrich and Colton Talbot. “Let’s piece together this information and see if we can find out if these posts and articles connect with any of these three remaining kids. Names, locations; that’s what we need right now.” He turned around to Kate. “State Police should implement checkpoints in addition to the BOLO already out. The only thing we have on our side right now is that we can safely assume he's taken his grandmother’s car.” Nick began to walk toward Mason. “We’ll need your department’s full support as well as State Police and our office.” He turned to the officers in the room. “We’ll divvy up into teams. One to search for Stroud and another to find those kids. We have to find them before he does.”