Ending with Forever (13 page)

Lifting her body up, I carry her over to a loveseat opposite my desk and lay her down. On one knee I kneel beside her. “I want you. I want to love every inch of your beautiful body until my heart melds into yours. Every time you hurt, I hurt. Every time you smile, I smile. Together we’re passionate. Apart, we’ll crave and miss each other like the air we breathe.”

“I already feel this way,” she shares. “My heart would be dead if we were separated.”

“Don’t think about that, angel. That’ll never happen.”

“What if they come after you?” she panics. “What if they hurt you or ki…?” she trails off glumly.

“I’m well-guarded and very cautious. They would have to get through an army to get to me or you.”

“I’m still not convinced.”

“See why I’ve kept you in the dark? Fear is a terrible thing. It debilitates you and breaks your confidence down. I didn’t want you to have to deal with it every day.”

“The only thing I fear is losing you. Please promise me they won’t get to you.”

“Yes. I promise.”

She sits up and folds her arms securely around me, squeezing me with her all her might. “I’ll never let you go,” she murmurs into my heart.

S
eeing my severed sleeves really hit home for me. Carson isn’t dealing with idle threats. These people will not hesitate to murder for what they want. My body trembled uncontrollably with fear as the realization of it took over me. This isn’t some TV show where the bad guys always lose and the hero saves the day. We could be seriously hurt or killed. Carson’s unbearable tyranny makes perfect sense to me now. He was protecting me without having me share the burden of his stress, knowing that I would live each day in fear. Why do I continue to doubt his actions? His devotion for me has never wavered; meanwhile I question every one of his motives. I owe it to him to respect his decisions from now on.

Walking back into his office he calls, “Lil, ready for dinner?”

“Let me tackle one more file,” I plead from the floor surrounded by a mound of charts. I couldn’t wait until after dinner. I wanted Carson to show me what to do as soon as he agreed to let me help him. Once he outlined the qualifications based on cancer type, staging and prognosis, I was anxious to match each patient to the appropriate protocol. The quicker I did it, the quicker the patients could get their drugs. That was my motivation to race through the charts.

“Okay. Just one more and then dinner with me,” he smiles.

I nod and then open the next chart.

Gabriel Gray

Age: 6

Diagnosis: Metastatic disease from primary brain tumor.

The next thing I see is a photo of an adorable little girl with big blue eyes, pale skin and a tiny crescent smile. I know that face. It’s Gabby, the Elsa princess from the Make it Magical event. Emotions overflow as I recall how sweet and brave she was that night at the party. All she wanted for her wish was to have a songbird that’d sing to her family in lieu of her after she passed away. I continue studying her file with a growing ache in my chest. The more I read the heavier my heart weighed. How is it fair that such a small person should have to go through so much suffering? It isn’t.

“What’s wrong?” Carson ask, concerned. “Why are you crying, angel?”

“It’s Gabby,” I sob, flipping her picture around so he could see her.

“Who’s Gabby?” He gives me a perplexed look as he examines the photo.

“I met her at the cancer party last week. She needs your help,” I beg. “We can’t let her die. Please. She’s only six.”

Carson crouches down next to me and lifts the chart out of my hands. He skims through the profile page and then closes it. “She has a very rare and untreatable brain tumor. It’s already metastasized to other parts of her body,” he calmly explains. “We can’t cure her, but we can try to control the spread to give her more time.”

“What about your new drug?” I ask desperately. “Can we give it to her? We have to try something or she won’t see her seventh birthday.”

“Let me see what I can do,” he offers. “I can’t make any promises.”

“I know. Thank you. Thank you.” I throw my arms around him and squeeze him with desperation. If there’s a fighting chance, I know Carson will give Gabby his all. “Can we start tomorrow?” I insist.

“It’s not that simple, baby. There’s a lot of prep and paperwork to complete before we can begin. And besides, it looks like she’s from Indiana, coincidentally. They would have to make transportation arrangements and hotel accommodations.”

“Carson, I’ve never asked you to spend money on anything, but I’m asking now. Will you please fly them here and set them up in a hotel? Gabby’s time is limited. If you do this for me, I’ll never ask for anything else.” I can’t imagine how desperate I must sound, but I don’t care.

“Do you see why I love you so much?” he asks me. “Your heart always guides your selfless actions. You’re fighting for a little girl you’ve only known for about twenty minutes. Yes. I’ll have my people arrange everything.”

“Can I see them tomorrow after they’re settled in?”

“Sure,” he agrees. “I’ll have the driver drop them off at my office for a quick visit and then send them on their way. Now, can we have dinner?”

“Yes. Thank you again.”

“Anything for that smile,” he grins. “Let’s eat. I’m starving.”

“Me, too,” I agree and follow his lead.

I didn’t realize that Chef Calvino is Carson’s personal chef. He flew him all the way to St. Croix to prepare that romantic dinner for us. His ceaseless wealth is unimaginable to me and the lavish ways he spends it. Chef Calvino prepared the same entrée, lobster in a white wine sauce, that we had that night Carson made love to me. He was so gentle to my body even though he was unaware it was my first time in bed with a man. The living room is illuminated with candlelight and a picnic is set in front of a burning fireplace with dozens of lotus blossoms draping over a glass vase.

“Your photo comment inspired the menu for this evening,” he enlightens me. “I have chilled sparkling grape juice for us,” he offers with a cheeky grin.

“No wine tonight?” I ask with an arch of my brow.

“No. I was told it might interfere with my desires for you. I want you to be the judge tomorrow morning after I’ve had my way with you tonight.”

“Are you asking me to grade your performance, Mr. Bradley?”

“I guess I am. But, just to let you know, I’ve never failed at anything. My performance is spot-on and always impeccable.”

“I suppose we won’t know until tomorrow.” I wink “Now let’s eat. I’m famished.”

~~~~

“I really love hot baths with you. I could sit in your lap like this forever.” My head leans into his chest as I inhale the steaming lavender and vanilla oil. It’s so calming. I’m caged in his arms as my eyes flutter from being completely relaxed.

“But I have other plans for you.”

“Just another minute. Please.”

“You have two and then I expect your naked body on our bed.”

Two minutes flew by like two shallow breaths. I’m toweled dry, moisturized and lying naked on the bed like he instructed, but he’s nowhere to be found. “Carson, where are you? You do realize that I’m naked here, waiting for you, right?” And then he enters the room in a black silk robe, opened at the top, exposing the center part of his chest.

“I’m here,” he smolders in a low, sexy voice. “Put this on,” he orders as he hands me a blindfold made of the same material as his luxurious robe.

“Why?” I ask nervously. I’ve already told him I’m not into S&M. Maybe I should’ve also added bondage.

“Because.”

“Because why?”

“Because you need to do as I say. Now put it on and follow me.” His voice is unyielding and impatient. This is the stern tone of a dominating man who gets whatever he wants. My mellow mood dissipates and is now full of tension and volatility. “Don’t be afraid. I’m not going to hurt you terribly,” he warns me and places the blindfold over my eyes, cutting off my vision. The last thing I see is a wicked smirk come to life across his handsome face.

“I’m nervous,” I mutter as I follow him blindly and nude. My balance is off as my feet move ineptly to the sensory guidance of my ears.

“You should be,” he tells me with one hand banded around my arm. “You’ve been very bad and haven’t shown any signs of remorse. Should I go down the list of your offenses?” I shake my head but he continues to tell me anyways. “Lying, lying and more lying.”

“Can I redeem myself now?” I persuade.

“It’s too late. You had your chance,” he snips, startling me with his terse response. “Take two more steps and lift both your arms above your head,” he demands and then smacks his palm on my ass to motivate me to move faster. The slight sting on my bottom makes my cheeks blush. I hesitate.
He wouldn’t hurt me. He loves me.
Giving him the benefit of the doubt I raise them slowly, one by one. Something smooth and silky is wrapped around my wrists to restrain them. My arms are now suspended in the air as I stand exposed with one foot crossed over the other, shivering.

“I’m going to leave marks on your body,” he warns in an ominous voice, “but they’ll fade—eventually.”

Oh shit. Now I’m afraid. What’s he going to do to me?

“You’re going to feel pain like you’ve never felt before.” His fingers trail down the length of my body like he’s marking his target. I can’t seem to catch my crushing breath. “There’s no such thing as a safe word. If you scream, I will muffle you, so no one can hear your pleading cries.”

“I…don’t like this,” I object as my heart throws itself against my chest, screaming at me for putting myself in this fix.

“You don’t have a choice, baby. I’m in control now,” he asserts.

My body squirms side to side. I can’t free my hands. What did I get myself into? I don’t like this dark side of Carson. Is this the same kink he did with women from his past? I’ve heard about rich people being so bored with ordinary sex that they venture into unimaginable erotica to satisfy their insatiable cravings.

“Hold still,” he orders, bracing his hands around my shoulders. “This won’t hurt very much—initially.” My mind is going spastic. What tool or weapon is he going to use on me? I hate pain…or even the idea of it. The corners of my eyes are wet, fearing the worse until I feel the tip of a soft brush grazing my skin, tickling me. The paint is viscous, warm and soothing. Instantly, I’m relieved. A sigh of joy escapes my tight throat. He continues to draw and write all over my body, paying extra care to my breasts. The tip of the brush is replaced with the tip of his skillful tongue. I pant and moan in bliss as it travels up and down my body, licking. “Were you afraid?” he whispers into my ear. I nod in response. “You failed, Lil. You doubted me. I would never hurt you,” he assures me and sucks on my lower lip. I taste decadent chocolate on his hot tongue as he invades my mouth without mercy, but then stops as soon as he has me hooked on him. “Don’t doubt me again. Now open your mouth,” he orders in a softer voice. I do and he rewards me with a perfect balance of sweet and tart raspberries, followed by more kissing. There’s an explosion of delicious and sensual flavors in my watering mouth.
Wasn’t I pissed at him a second ago?
I can’t remember because I’m now pathetically lost in his seduction
. “Do I get an “A” for the dessert foreplay?” He smiles against my cheek.

“After I give you an “F” for scaring the shit out of me,” I reply. He’s so lucky he’s incredibly hot and no matter what he does to me, my body still craves him like an animal in heat as much as I hate to admit it.

“My alpha side needed to see you squirm.”

“I got it. Your message is crystal clear. I won’t push your limits without expecting backlashes.”

“No more lies from now on,” he stresses, capturing my ears with his uncompromising voice.

“Yes. No more lies,” I agree.
Except for one tiny one. I need to get a confession from Sasha somehow.

He frees my hands, allowing my tired arms to wilt by my sides and removes the blindfold. I blink several times against the dim light, adjusting my vision. Looking down the length of my body, I see Carson’s chocolate masterpiece of symbols and words.

“Wow. Look at me. You’re an artist and I didn’t even know it. I’m sure you have an explanation for each drawing, right?”

“Yes, I do. Obviously you know the heart. The Celtic knot stands for everlasting love of two intertwined souls and the diamond is a symbol of eternal love. This is why I’m going to replace your tiny one with something more spectacular.” He winks while I role my eyes at his absurdity. “Finally, the arrow is just an arrow, pointing to my favorite sweet spot.”

“Then what are you waiting for?” I encourage as I smear my sticky body all over his. This is what I call dirty sex with a sweet ending.

S
ince the day Lil challenged my threat, my mind has been occupied with the many clever ways I can punish her for lying to me. In every scenario, the outcome was her being pleasurably abused by me. Jesus. I’ve never seen Lil hotter than this evening. Talk about my wildest dream come true. Her svelte figure writhed with doubt while her arms were tethered above her head with a silk scarf hung from the ceiling. She was vulnerable and I made her that way. Those perky breasts of hers were an enticing feast for my appetite. With each fretful breath she took, her chest expanded, inviting me to taste her swollen pink tips. My mouth watered. My cock throbbed painfully, but I had to be strong and resist her. I had a role to fill. She needed to know that while I love her unconditionally, I’m still a hot-blooded alpha male who thrives on dominance. I taunted her mind with a firm voice and cunning choice of words. After fifteen minutes, I had her convinced she was going to experience real pain induced by me. It was a blow to my heart to witness what little faith she had in me to keep her safe. I blamed her weakness on her youth and innocence. She couldn’t help her instinctive reaction to an unpredictable and powerful man like me—not many women could. I forgave her and gave into my feral craving.

“Stop! My body is covered in chocolate. I’m filthy,” she objects, backing away but I toss her on the white fluffy bed regardless. “The bedding will be ruined,” she stresses while looking at the dark imprints of her arms and legs on the comforter.

“That’s the least of my concerns right now. All I’m thinking about is how many licks will it take to get all that chocolate off your body. I hate leftovers,” I smirk. “I’m going to make the sweetest love to you ever, Lil,” I trifle to lessen her frivolous concerns and burrow my face into her neck. Her laughter is music to my ears. I love the vibrant sound of happiness that echoes in my heart, especially when it comes from Lil.

“You think you’re so clever, don’t you?” I nod in response while she shakes hers with a big smile. “It looks like you’re going to have your dessert and eat it too this time.” She finally throws her discipline out the window and gives into the moment. “Now kiss me.”

“Spread your legs. I want to start there,” I smolder in a molten voice.

“Follow the arrow,” she giggles and complies willingly, parting her thighs to a wide V-shape.

~~~~

“Help me. Please. Don’t let me die down here!” she screamed. “I hate the dark. I can’t breathe.” Her desperate cries were getting fainter and fainter. I was losing her. “I’m cold—so cold,” she whimpered.

“Stay with me, Lil. Don’t you dare leave me!” I yelled into the ground. There were no responses after that. I knew what that meant. “No! Lil, come back to me,” I wept and pounded my bloody fists into the hard earth.

It was the same damn nightmare. The pillow under my head is damp. I was crying. It seemed so real that I fucking cried. Bowing my arm around Lil, I secure her against my chest. Her body writhes slightly from my disturbance, but slithers back into her favorite spoon position.
She’s safe and she’s with me
. I attempt to close my eyes again, but those sickening images reappear, taunting me and robbing me of any rest. It looks like I won’t be sleeping at all tonight. Loosening my arms, I release Lil and pad my way to my office. I still have an impressive pile of charts to go through. I guess I’ll make the most of my insomnia.

Settling down in my chair, I see Gabriel Gray’s chart is opened on my desk. Lil must’ve been combing through the pages again, determined to find a shred of hope for this little girl. Somehow Gabriel has earned a special spot in Lil’s heart. She must be an exceptional little angel to make such a profound impact on her. Seeing how involved Lil is with this case, it would be a shame if I let her down. Page by page, I study Gabriel’s file meticulously. She was diagnosed about six months ago and had one prior surgery and several rounds of chemotherapy. She resides with her mother and grandparents. As I continue reading through her medical history, I stumble across a recurring name, Francine Manns, her healthcare representative. She’s a friend of the family who’s been overseeing all of Gabby’s treatments. In fact, her signature is at the bottom of the BPC randomized test application alongside Gabby’s mother. I’ll have to remind Owen to include her in the visit for tomorrow as well.

“Hey, why aren’t you in bed keeping me warm?” Lil calls out to me at the door entrance, distracting my concentration. She’s wearing my black robe and I know she’s naked underneath. Her dark locks spill past her shoulders, framing her semi-sleepy face. She’s a sight for sore eyes—literally.

“I couldn’t sleep. I have a lot on my mind,” I reply, forcing the deep creases on my forehead to smoothen.

“Are you stressed about these charts?” she asks, worried as she pads toward me. “Don’t be. I’ll whip through them tomorrow while you’re at work.”

“I know you will. These charts aren’t stressing me. I just couldn’t sleep.”

“Come with me. I can offer you something that might help.” Her hand opens out to me and my eyes widen with pleasure. Even though I just made love to her a few hours ago, I always welcome more opportunities with Lil. Honestly, can an addict have too much of anything? I lace my fingers through hers and follow her sexy silhouette down the hallway to the living room.

“What do you have in mind?” I inquire. As much as I want to make her come in every room, I have to be cautious. There are hidden cameras practically everywhere in this 8,000-square-foot penthouse. I can’t have security seeing her naked body. No one can have that privilege but me.

She releases my hand to head for the piano. “By the way, this piano is beautiful but very unnecessary. I can get one on Craigslist for free—much cheaper.”

“I don’t shop Craigslist,” I reply smartly, “and neither does Owen.”

“Point noted,” she remarks as she settles on the bench disregarding my snooty response. “Whenever I couldn’t sleep because of a bad dream, my mom would play lullabies to soothe me. After a few songs, she’d carry me back to my bed and I’d sleep like a baby until the next morning. ‘Music has healing powers. It can calm the soul and warm the heart,’ she would tell me. It’s true. I remember how much pleasure I got from listening to the music you personally selected for me. Even though you were in Boston and I was on the island, it filled the sad gap between us with the memories it evoked.”

“I agree. Music is powerful. Do you have a lullaby in mind that’ll help knock me out?” I ask as I sit down beside her.

““Fairytale” by Enya. It’s not a lullaby, but it’ll do the job.” She smiles as her fingers lightly tap on the brand new black and white keys. The notes are crisp and sharp entering and exiting my ears.

“I see a recurring theme in your music choices.”

“Call me sappy,” she replies as her fingers serenade to me. The gentle melody is incredibly lulling. My lids flutter as the weight of slumber forces down on them. I think I might fall asleep right here right now as my head slowly drops on top of her shoulder. Her humming further entices me to cross over and give in to my fatigue.

~~~~

“Lil, release me now,” I demand as I struggle to free my arms and legs. I’m bound to the bed with the same silk material I used to tether her arms up from last night. “This isn’t funny.”

“I’m not trying to be funny,” she clarifies while lying on her side facing me, relaxed as she can be. “Just for once, I want to wake up with you in bed with me.”

“You don’t need to tie me up for that. Just ask me next time,” I snip as I continue to fight the silky restraints around my wrists. I don’t like losing control of any situation.

“You’ve been so restless lately. Last night was the first night you’ve slept for more than a few hours. I just want you to enjoy it a little longer.”

“Alright. Let’s say I did. Now untie me!” My patience is wearing thin as the minutes tick away and my hands are still useless to me.

“Not until I serve you breakfast in bed,” she enlightens me. “No need to worry about being late for work. I’ve already called Owen. He’ll hold down the fort until you get there.”

“Lil, release me now,” I demand. I’m beyond agitated at this point.

“Hold that cheery A.M. attitude, Mr. Grouch,” she sasses me. “I’ll be right back.” She wraps her body in my silk robe and dashes out the room. Lil is going to see and feel my wrath when I’m free.

A split second later she’s back in the room carrying a tray with food and coffee. The jolt of caffeine in the air is soothing to me, relieving the tension around my neck. I might be able to forgive her if she prepares my coffee exactly to my liking—black with a teaspoon of cane sugar. She sets the tray on the edge of the bed and warns me, “Don’t resist or you’ll get hot liquid on parts of your body that I’m partial to. Chef Calvino gave me a list of your breakfast preferences. I made an egg white omelet with spinach and cheese. It’s delicious,” she confirms while sampling a small bite. The delectable smell makes my taste buds salivate with hunger even though I’m not normally a breakfast person. “Want a taste?” she taunts me as her expression exaggerates how good the food is. My eyes narrow to lethal slits. She just lost her salvation card.

“Yes,” I grunt.

“I’ll free your legs and prop you up if you promise to behave.” I nod. One by one my ankles are untied. “Scoot back against the headboard,” she instructs and tucks two pillows behind me. I’m comfortable and ready to eat. Setting the coffee on the nightstand, she straddles my pelvis with her thighs with my breakfast in her hands. “Open wide,” she tells me while opening hers at the same time as if she’s gesturing to a child. I accept and take my first bite. Surprisingly, it’s as good as Chef Calvino’s omelet.

“Aaaah,” I open my mouth for another bite, making her grin with satisfaction as she forks more in.

“Good, isn’t it?” she asks. I nod because my mouth is too full to speak. “Coffee?”

“Yes, please,” I reply. My mood is much lighter, making me overlook the fact that my arms are now loosely bound.

“Be careful. It’s very hot,” she cautions me and then blows the steam away before offering me a sip.
Amazing.
My coffee is perfect.

“How did you know that I like my coffee this way? I’m usually up before you are.”

“Evelyn,” she answers proudly.

“You’re pretty impressive, angel.”

“Thanks, hazel eyes. You’re not bad yourself,” she replies.

Setting the empty plate and coffee mug aside, she shrugs my robe off her beautiful body and peels back the covers. Those gorgeous chocolate eyes of hers enlarge at the sight of my full erection. How can she possibly be surprised about that? Her soft flesh has been rubbing along my bulge for the past ten minutes as she nourished me with her tasty omelet. My wrists are finally loosened enough that I can free myself, but I don’t. I’m going to let Lil have her fun and then I’ll have mine.

“Oh my. Is that a morning woody?”

“Sure, if you want to give it a name, but I’d prefer Dr. Feelgood or Early Riser,” I kid. She narrows her eyes at me with a lopsided grin.

“No nicknames for that body part please. That’s so many wrongs.” She chuckles.

“Are you going to free me or what?”

“No. Not yet. I have you exactly where I want you—under my control and helpless. Do you remember the torment you put me through last night? You’re going to get a taste of it now,” she warns me.

“What are you going to do to me?”

“What am I NOT going to do to you is what you should ask me.” She releases a wicked cackle. “First, I’m going to swallow you whole and then ride you forward and backward and then leave you hanging on the edge of a cliff.”

“That sounds torturous,” I reply, fighting to hold back my amusement as my grip tightens around the slippery material.
Resist. Don’t reach for her sassy face.

She slithers her body between my thighs and props her arms over them. Her silky tongue starts at the base of my erection and glides leisurely up to my pulsing head. My knees buckle as my pelvis lifts up to her mouth. Christ! The back of her hot throat is pressed against the tip of my cock. In and out she teases me, tightening and then releasing. “Fuck,” I groan through my clenched jaw. I see the finish line up ahead. It’s within reach but then she stops.

“No. You’re not allowed to come,” she whispers into my ear and then sits astride my pelvis. “Relax, babe,” she lulls as she gyrates her hips into me.

“I am,” I tell her and close my eyes to shut my arousal out. My timing has to be spot-on in order for me to have the upper hand again.

Noticing that I’m more settled, she lowers herself over me, stretching her tight walls around my rod, wrapping me in a sensation only she can offer me. Her pert breasts bounce to the rhythm of her steady pace. What I wouldn’t give to knead those plump things in my hands. Tilting my head forward my mouth lunges for her swollen pink tip. I draw it in, lap my tongue around it and suck until I hear her groan in pleasure.
Yes. Pant, cry and moan, baby. Give it all to me.
She cups her own breasts and gives them a firm squeeze as she rides me faster. Jesus. It’s so fucking sexy watching her touch herself. Her eyes are sealed. She’s lost in the moment. I’m about to join her there, but the heat stops again. She turns her back to me. “That was too close,” she gasps, attempting to stable her jagged breathing. Her body falls flat on top of mine. Her head is between the crook of my neck and tethered arm. I turn to kiss the area under her ear, her vulnerable spot. She purrs like a kitten.