“Oh!” she squeaked, as she looked at the
picture. She was full on crying now. “She
’
s so beautiful, and look at you two together! Aww… this is… aww…”
she stuttered, swiping at the happy tears that continued to fall.
I laughed awkwardly.
“Yeah,
she
’
s awesome,” I muttered,
stuffing down the rest of my breakfast as they all passed my phone around.
When my dad looked at the photo, he
whistled appreciatively. “Nice job there, Nate!” he congratulated me, patting my
shoulder proudly.
My mom was beaming at me. “So, when do we
get to meet her? Why didn
’
t you
bring her with you today? Oh, Nate, go home and get her and bring her back with
you!” my mom begged, looking at me with the pleading eyes that she used on my
dad all the time.
I laughed but shook my head. I would love
to do that, but Rosie was probably nursing the hangover from hell. Besides
that, she had DJ this weekend. “I can
’
t, she
’
s busy today.” I
shrugged, ignoring my mom
’
s
disappointed face.
“Well, what about tomorrow instead?”
I smiled apologetically. “I can
’
t, Rosie has… commitments,” I answered
awkwardly, trying to sum up having a child in one word. “She can
’
t just drop everything to come out here at
will.”
“Commitments?” Paige prompted.
I took a deep breath and wondered how my
parents were going to react to knowing that Rosie had a son.
“Rosie has a little boy from a previous
relationship,” I said quietly, kind of hoping that they wouldn
’
t hear me. They did though.
My dad burst out laughing, as did Paige.
Hannah
’
s mouth dropped open in
shock; Lisa just continued to bob her head to the beat of the song she had
blasting through her earphones. And my mom, well, her reaction was something
different entirely.
“I have a grandchild?” she shrieked,
clapping her hands and jumping out of her chair while squealing excitedly.
I flinched at her reaction, which made both
Paige and my dad laugh even harder. “
Well, it
’
s not… it
’
s early days,” I muttered, unsure really how to answer that comment.
“Nate! A baby! Oh my gosh, I can
’
t wait to tell the girls at bowling club!
Margaret
’
s been rubbing it in my
face that she has a grandchild already. Just wait until I wipe that smug look
off her face on Monday!” my mom chirped, grinning moronically.
I chuckled at that. My mom and Margaret had
a lifelong competition going. Margaret was one of those people that had to
upstage you, whatever my mom had done, Margaret had always done it better –
according to her anyway – so the fact that Margaret had a grandchild already
was something my mom couldn
’
t
compete with.
“Look, it
’
s early days, okay? I
’
ve
only known her a short time so let
’
s not get carried away here,” I suggested, shaking my head, still laughing.
“You said it was a boy? How old is he? What
’
s his name? Go home and get them both!” my mom
cried excitedly. “Oh, I can
’
t wait
to see them! A grandchild! Oh, I wonder what he
’
ll call me. Grandma? No, too old. Nanny? Oh, I like that one!” she
beamed, wiping the tears from her eyes again.
“He
’
ll call you crazy if you keep going on like this,” I joked.
“What does he look like? Please, Nate, I
need details!” she begged, sitting down again and looking at me expectantly.
I looked at my dad for help, and he just
shrugged as if I should have known this was coming. I groaned and picked up my
empty plate, wanting to escape the madness for a little while.
“I
’
ll be right back,” I muttered.
As I walked off, I could hear my dad
telling my mom to chill out, and I shot him a grateful smile over my shoulder.
As I set my plate in the sink, I took a couple of deep breaths. That was all
just too much. I
’
d actually been
preparing myself for an argument because my girlfriend was a single mother, and
instead my mom was already cooing over the child that I hadn
’
t even met!
My mind wandered to Rosie again, a smile
crept onto my face as I wondered if she was suffering today after all of those
rums she put away. I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket, frowning because it
didn
’
t have much battery and I
hadn
’
t thought to bring my
charger. I dialled her number quickly and held my breath waiting for her to
answer.
“Hey you,” she answered, after a couple of
rings.
I smiled at the sound of her voice. She was
definitely suffering; her tone was hushed as if she didn
’
t want to speak too loudly and hurt her head or something. “Hey,
Stripes. How are you feeling today?”
“I feel bad. Why did I drink all that last
night? Man, I honestly feel like a pile of… junk, right now,” she answered,
stumbling over her cuss word so I knew DJ was within earshot.
“Well you did almost drain the rum from the
bar last night. I heard the barman putting in a fresh order for a new case
because the, and these are his words not mine, the loud little drunken brunette
had made him a fortune.”
She laughed quietly. “Loud little drunken
brunette? Those sound more like your words.”
“No, if I was using my words, it would have
been,
hot
loud little drunken brunette,” I countered.
She chuckled and then I heard a little
voice off the line. “Momma, can Auntie Toni stay for lunch?” DJ asked her.
There was muffled talking off the phone, Rosie telling him that she could stay
if she wanted to and that they
’
d
go to the park after. I smiled at the soft tone to her voice when she spoke to
him, she really sounded like a great mom. He was a lucky kid.
Rosie came back on the phone after a
minute. “Sorry about that, I
’
m
back now
.
So, how
’
s the visit with your parents going?”
I was unsure how to answer that. “It
’
s okay. We
’
ve just eaten and I think we
’
re going to the beach in a bit,” I said, shrugging and skimming over
the whole ‘I have a grandchild?
’
hysteria
that came from my mother.
“Sounds good. So, are you-” she started,
but the phone was snatched out of my hand before she could finish. I jumped and
looked around as my mom put the phone to her ear.
“Mom, what the hell?” I cried, trying to
grab for the phone, but she turned to the side and started to talk.
“Hello? Is this Rosie?” she asked, grinning
like a mad woman.
Oh fuck, please let this be a dream!
Please let my mother really not have just stolen my phone and be talking to my
girlfriend who she
’
s never
even met!
I gripped my hands in my hair as she spoke.
“I
’
m Dawn, Nate
’
s mom. It
’
s nice to talk to you too, sweetheart. Oh yes,
he
’
s behaving.” She shot me a thumbs
up sign, and I just wished the ground would open up and swallow me. She started
laughing at something Rosie had said.
“So, you two have been together for a
couple of weeks from what I
’
ve
been told. Well I
’
m so pleased. Oh
if he does then you just tell me and I
’
ll give him a slap for you.” She laughed again, her eyes twinkling.
“Oh really? Well I wish you would have come today with him. Absolutely, we
’
ll do that another time. Aww, I
’
m just glad he
’
s found someone that he cares about.”
I couldn
’
t take any
more; I
held my hand out, glaring at her. “Enough now! Say bye and let me talk to
her!”
She rolled her eyes. “Okay, I
’
ve got to go; Nate
’
s giving me the stink eye for taking his phone.” She chuckled again,
and I could hear Rosie laughing through the line too. “I
’
ll talk to you again soon and we should meet up. Absolutely. Can
’
t wait. Bye, sweetheart!”
my mom sang, still
grinning
happily.
She put the phone back in my hand, and I
put it against my chest so Rosie couldn
’
t hear me. “What the hell was that, Mom?” I whispered angrily.
She grinned and patted my chest as she
walked back out of the kitchen and onto the patio, exclaiming to my father,
“Oh, Evan, she sounds so adorable!”
I groaned and put the phone back to my ear,
wincing. “Rose, I
’
m
so
sorry! She took the phone before I even realised what she was doing. She
’
s like some freaking ninja woman; I didn
’
t even hear her come in the room,” I moaned,
squeezing my eyes shut, drowning in embarrassment.
Rosie was laughing so hard that I had to
just listen to it for a minute until she calmed down enough to talk to me. “He
’
s giving me the stink eye,” she said,
repeating my mother
’
s words,
bursting into another fit of giggles.
I sighed and put my head in my hands. Why
did I have to have such a crazy mother?
Three hours later and all the family were
at the beach at the end of my parents’ property. I loved the beach. I’d grown
up here and it was my dream to have a place just like this one day. I smiled to
myself, lying back onto the towel, sunbathing and thinking of how much DJ would
love it here.
I must have fallen asleep, because I woke
up to someone nudging my arm. Cracking open my eyes, I looked up into the three
grinning faces of my sisters. As I yawned and rubbed my eyes, they all started
giggling
.
I frowned.
What the hell is that about?
Oh wait, please don
’
t tell
me I had some pervert dream and I
’
ve woken up with a boner!
I panicked and
jerked up slightly, putting my hand over my crotch, checking, but I was safe,
no pervert dream this time.
“What
’
s wrong with you guys? You look like the three witches in the
opening scene of
Macbeth
.
”
They all exchanged glances but didn
’
t say anything, just carried on sniggering. My
dad walked past, carrying another cooler, probably refilling the drink supply.
As he looked at me, he started to laugh too. He high
-
five
’
d Paige on the way past, and then sat next to my mom on my other
side, still chuckling to himself.
Okay, what the hell is this actually
about?
“What are you three up to?” I asked,
leaning up on my elbow.
Hannah shook her head, looking at me
innocently. Lisa choked on her laughter and turned away. As I moved, something
black on my chest caught my attention. I frowned and looked at it only to see
my whole chest was covered in marker pen.
Slogans of: ‘Rosie
’
s bitch
’
with an arrow
pointing down to the waistband of my shorts. ‘If lost, please return to the
local strip club
’
and ‘Momma
’
s little soldier
’
with some extremely crude drawings, were all over my chest and
stomach. A big ‘You got Owned, by P, H & L
’
and a large smiley face was scrawled on my forearm.
Son of a…
“What the fuck?” I shouted in disbelief.
“Language, Nathaniel!” my mom scolded,
giggling to herself.
The three girls all got up and ran in
different directions, laughing their asses off.
I burst out laughing.
Well, I guess that
’
s what I get for falling asleep in front of
three Peters girls, I should have known better!
“You
’
d better run!” I shouted, streaking after one of them at random,
intending to catch them all in turn and unceremoniously dunk them into the sea
headfirst as payback.