Enlightened (Red Flags) (25 page)

"I want to be with Jason.  I see him giving one hundred percent, trying to make things right, but I just have so much shit clouding my thought process right now."  I paused as I tried to collect the millions of banging thoughts beating the inside of my head.  "Damian has turned out to be a total jerk and William only cares about the account and his status, so I'm screwed there.  Jason has been giving so much of himself.  I mean, we had sex this morning--"

"I'm well aware," Chelsea said, rolling her eyes at me.

"Anyway," I smirked, "I miss him and just when I felt like we were finally connecting, here comes Chase to blow my happiness up in my face."

Chelsea stared off and then turned back to focus on me.  "Here is what I think.  I think Damian and William can go and fuck themselves, or each other, for all I care."  She smiled, making me do the same.  "Jason, I see it.  I see him working hard to fix things with you.  He is determined, but then again, he's always determined when it's something he really wants.  Chase, well, he brought that on himself."

"Right, but I didn't want things to go like that between me and Chase, Chels."

"Cara, I was wrong.  I'll admit that.  And I certainly wouldn't have continued to push the Chase issue had I known that you had only repressed those old feelings.  I seriously thought you had totally forgiven him."

"How can you completely forgive the guy who you gave your virginity to, only to have him turn around and make you into a whore?  Trust me, I did forgive Chase, but not completely, and I certainly didn't forget about it."

"Well, I wish you would have told me that.  I feel like queen bitch for not knowing that my best friend had a wall up.  You never do that.  That’s more of my and Mila's forte."

"It's nothing to sit up and drudge over.  It is what it is."

"Okay, so now that your Chase problem is out of the way, what are you going to do about Jason?"

"My Chase problem isn't over, Chels.  I feel awful about how that went down."  She stared at me intently but kept quiet.  "Anyway, with Jason--I just don't know."  I stepped out of the bed and slowly walked over to the window, staring out at the beautiful San Diego scenery outside.  "Everything felt so right.  We connected again, but I don't want to be seen as the idiotic girl who went back to the guy who did her wrong--"

"Wait.  Who are you worried will think that about you?"  Chelsea asked, before I could even finish my thought.  I turned around from the window with my arms folded across my chest and stared at her.  "Okay.  I would not sit up and judge you, Cara.  You know me better than that.  I may not always agree with certain things, but I'm always going to love and support you, so throw that shit stain thought out the window.  And furthermore, Jason might be one crazy son of a bitch, but even I can see that he does love you.  Am I automatically going to be best friends with him?  No.  Am I going to wish for your happiness? Yes."  She stopped and stood, signaling for me to come to her.  "You have so much going on right now.  I just feel for you." 

I stood in her arms, trying hard to keep the flames that were bursting in my chest from exploding throughout my body.  I felt overwhelmed by everything happening in my life.  A few tears escaped and ran down my face, causing me to pull away from Chelsea to wipe them away.

"You look torn up, Cara.  Go ahead and cry.  Shit, yell, scream, or even break something.  I don't give a shit.  Yell at me if it helps you lose some of your frustrations, but you need to get it out.  I can see it all over your face."

"It's more than just the guys, it's everything loosely tied to them."

"What do you mean?" she asked, furrowing her brow as she sat back down on the bed.

I finally made my way back over to the bed.  "Jason seems to have so many enemies, Damian being my biggest problem because my job is tied to him.  If I don't have a job, I can’t pay my rent and I can't live here."

Chelsea laughed.  "You really think I'd kick you out?  Get real, sister." 

"I can’t afford to live here if I'm not working, Chels."

"Okay, so we'd make it work.  My parents cover most of this place anyway.  I'm sure they'd pick up the slack."

"You won't be here forever.  You're getting married.  Aren’t you and Hunter going to be living with each other soon?"

"Yeah, but if you needed to stay here, you could stay here."  She scooted closer to where I was sitting and took my face in both of her hands, holding me still so I could look into hers.  "You are my sister, Cara.  I would never leave you hanging high and dry."

I lay my head down on Chelsea's lap and let her massage my head in a way that only she knew how.

"I know what I want to do."

"Then do it," she quickly responded.  "Don't let anyone else dictate things for you-- including me."  She smiled down at me, making me smile in return. 

We decided to spend the rest of the day holed up in our condo together.  After she called Hunter to let him know what had happened earlier, we shut our phones off, pigged out on whatever was left in the fridge, and watched trashy reality TV for the rest of the day.  It turned out to be the perfect relaxant that I needed after such a hellish week.

Chapter 18

Sunday morning brought a severe layer of gloom with it.  Waking up on the couch, I saw that Chelsea was on the other end, snoring her life away.  I got up, in search of my phone and stepped up on the stairs, trying to avoid waking her as I powered it on. She wasn't the nicest person when she was awakened before she was ready to be.  After turning the phone on, beeps came in furiously, indicating multiple missed calls and messages.

After going through each and every text, ranging from Ryan, to my parents, to Jason, I finally stopped on a text that Jason had sent late last night.

*Jason*

I feel like I just got you back.  I sure hope you didn't slip away again.

I had told him that I would call him later, but after everything that had happened with him and Chase; my emotions were sent on a fast moving roller coaster that wasn't soon going to let me off.  My quiet night at home with Chelsea was just what I needed to get myself back together, and although I felt bad for unintentionally letting Jason worry, I needed it, so putting me first was exactly what I did. 

I replied back to him, knowing it was probably much too early for him on a Sunday morning, but I didn't care.  Shortly after sending my response, my phone beeped with a message from Jason.

*Jason*

Glad to hear from you.  Are you okay?

Rather than play the texting back and forth game, I walked up the stairs and into my room and called Jason.  In a strange way, through all of the nonsense that was happening around me, Jason was the one who
wasn't
giving me grief.  The thought made me smile a bit because I could remember a time when he was normally my sole source of contention. 

I dialed his number and he picked up shortly after the ringing started in my ear.

"Hey." 

He sounded anxious which caught me off guard.

"Hey.  Sorry about last night," I said, unable to feel my slight pang of guilt.

"Don't apologize, Cara.  You have nothing to apologize for."  There was a still silence.  "What are you doing today?"

I sighed lightly.  "No plans."

"Can I interest you in coming out with me today?" he asked, with a slight trace of apprehension in his voice.

I thought it over for minute before answering, "Yeah.  I need to get out of the house."

"Perfect.  I'll be there around 11 to come and get you."

"Alright.  I'll be ready."

"I love you, Gorgeous."

"I love you, too."  I could sense his smile through the phone because as the words rolled off my tongue, a smile traced my lips.  To me, it was a sign that I was making the right decision where Jason was concerned.

I hung up the phone and heard the water start in Chelsea's bathroom.  It was shocking that she was up so early on a Sunday, but as she strolled by my bedroom door, looking like a refreshed super model, I quickly figured out what was going on.

"More wedding stuff?"  I asked, smiling at her.

"Yes.  My mom's sister, Aunt Jane, is in town, and she wants to run around and do a bunch of crap."  She stopped talking and looked at me sympathetically.  "Do you want to come?  I don't want to leave you alone with all of your thoughts."

"Nope." I said casually.  Chelsea looked at me inquisitively.  "I'm going out with Jason today."

"You feeling better?" 

"Yeah.  I just really need to get out of this house, and sorry, but Aunt Jane, your mom, and wedding stuff sounds like more work that I don't want to get into." 

Chelsea smiled at me and shook her head.  "You know my family too well.  Have a good time today."

She walked off and went and got herself dressed. I went to do the same.  A nice long shower was just what I needed after my emotionally painful night.  I didn't want to dwell on the incident that had shattered me, but it was hard, knowing that my friend was hurting and that I was even remotely involved in it.

<>

Prompt as ever, Jason was standing at my door, looking impeccable.  His V-neck t-shit clung to his rippling muscles and his shorts hung low from his hips.  I always marveled how nice of a body he had, in and out of his clothes.  I stole a quick glance at myself and saw the same, Plain Jane that always stood before me.  Somehow my V-neck t-shirt and shorts just didn't do my body justice the way it did for Jason.  He noticed me noticing him and his upper lip curled, as he pulled me close to him and gently placed a soft kiss on my lips. 

"You ready?" he asked.

I nodded my head and shut the door behind me.

Jason had the Shelby parked outside. It had been so long since I had been in it and, the butterflies were sent wildly fluttering around in my stomach as I walked, hand in hand, with him to the passenger door side.

"Where are we going today?"

He looked down at me and smirked as he opened the door.  He didn't say anything.  Instead, he ran around to his side and hopped in.

"Where are we going?"  I asked again, this time with a bit more force behind the question. 

Jason took my hand in his and softly kissed the top.  "Why so inquisitive?  You're in good hands."

"Because, if I remember correctly, part of my problem is that I didn't ask enough questions." 

Jason smiled over at me before starting up the Shelby, making the engine roar to life.  "We're going to La Jolla and that's as much as I can tell you."  He pulled out, accelerating quickly and sending me flying back in my seat.  "Relax.  You look like someone shoved my proverbial stick up your ass." 

I laughed, recalling how Chelsea had used the statement on him.  Only now, Jason was using it totally wrong and with plenty of sexual innuendo.  He let me decide on the music since I was strangely uptight and he insisted on relaxing me.  I went for what we did best, Classic Rock, and threw my head back on the seat, letting the wind from outside blow through my hair and over my face. 

When we got off the freeway and onto the street that led to Jason's house, he slowed, letting the car idle for a minute.  "I'm showing you this because I'm proud of it and I hope you are, too."

I stared at him curiously.  My eyebrows furrowed as I watched him wipe his brow.  He was nervous.  Whatever it was that he was getting ready to show me had plucked at his nerves and made him afraid or eager.  He put the car back into first gear and took off the hill.  When we reached the edge of his street, I could see the
For Sale
sign that I had seen before, but this time, it had a big red banner over it that read,
SOLD! 
We pulled up in front of the house and I watched as Jason stopped the car, threw his head back on the headrest, and let out a loud, deep breath. 

"You okay?"  I asked, confused by his reaction.

He rubbed his hands over his newfound scruff.  "Yeah.  I'm just… ending one chapter and starting another.  And I'm glad you're in with me."  He looked over at me, his face indifferent. "When I put this place on the market, I thought I'd never have the chance to speak to you again."

"Well, I'm here now," I said, trying to steer the conversation to something less somber, "It's sold.  You should be happy."

"Oh, I am happy.  I can't wait to be completely done with my dad and everything that his grimy hands touch."

Before I could say anything in response, the familiar growl of the Shelby was rumbling beneath me and we pulled off, making a turn and going even higher up La Jolla Point.  I wasn't familiar with this part of town--Chelsea's parents didn't even live this high up. 

The higher we climbed, the more luxurious the homes became.  A trace of a smile touched Jason's lips as we climbed the hill, gradually slowing down the closer we got to our destination.

When Jason finally stopped the car, we were sitting outside of an immaculate, white, two story, modern looking home.  It looked almost double the size of the house that he had just sold.  A twinkle went off in Jason's eye as he looked over at me with a smile that could split his face in two, and he jumped out of the car and came around to my side, opening my door and pulling me out.

"Don't tell me this is your new place?" I said, well aware that this was his new home.

He picked me up and walked me up the forever long driveway and kissed me just as we reached the front door.  He stood me up, took keys out of his pocket, and opened the door.

"Welcome home," he said, spreading his arms wide like he was a king in his castle.

I looked around, completely in awe of what stood around me.  The house was spacious enough to fit the Shelby, the Raptor, and my pathetic little Civic in the front room alone.  Dark speckled marble covered the floors and, the floor to ceiling windows, left uncovered, showed all of La Jolla down below.  I was seriously amazed that this was Jason's house, but suddenly wondered why he would go off and get the largest house that he could find.