Enslaved (Brides of the Kindred Book 14) (39 page)

“How…how are you going to stop it?”

He tilted her chin so he could gaze into her eyes.
His face was deadly serious and his voice was soft.

“You know there’s only one way to stop it.”

“Only one way,” she echoed, feeling dizzy and weak.
“You…you have to penetrate me. Fuck me.”

“I have to make love to you.” He stroked her cheek.
“We have to make love together until I fill you with my seed. It’s the only
way.”

“We can’t…
I
can’t.” But even as she spoke,
she felt the familiar heat building in her body. The tingling in the tips of
her breasts, the hot, swollen feeling between her legs that meant she wanted
his touch. Why did she want him so much? Was it just the passion berries…or
something else?

“It’s the only way,” Thrace repeated. He looked at her
intently. “I know you weren’t raised to do this—I know you think it’s wrong.
But your body wants mine as mine wants yours.” He buried his face in her neck
and inhaled deeply before pulling back to look at her. “I can smell the need on
you.” His voice was a low, soft growl. “All I’m asking, Trin, is that you give
in to that need—just once. Just long enough to save your life. I…” His voice
grew hoarse. “I can’t stand here and watch you die. I care too much for you to
do that.”

“We shouldn’t,” Trin whispered but she was already
in his arms. “I should be willing to die before I allow a male to penetrate my
body. I should be willing to lay down my life rather than commit such sacrilege.”

“It’s not a sacrilege—it’s a
sacrament,”
he
insisted earnestly. “I don’t believe in the Goddess but in this I
do
believe.
I won’t hurt you, Trin—I’ll do everything in my power to make sure it’s a pleasurable
experience for you. I’ll make you come again and again but please…let me save
your life—don’t make me watch you die.
Please.”
His voice broke on the
last word and Trin felt herself breaking inside too.

“What about you?” she whispered pleadingly. “Won’t
this cut your life span in half? I can’t do that to you—I can’t ask you to
sacrifice your life for me.”

“That’s only if what we do causes a bond,” Thrace said.
“And even then—”

“That’s right—the bond!” Trin drew back from him,
her heart in her mouth. “We…I can’t risk that. Can’t risk tying us together for
life!”

“We have to risk it—it’s the only way,” Thrace
said grimly. “Besides—I know what you think of me—know you don’t want to be
tied to me. So I’ll do my best not to bond you to me.”

“I…I never meant…I just thought…” Trin couldn’t
finish her thought.

She stepped back and crossed her arms over her
chest, shivering. The wine she had drunk was having a strange effect on her
body—first she was hot, then she was cold and always she could feel her desire
growing, her clit throbbing like a second heartbeat between her legs and her
nipples tingling. The rapidly shifting sensations made it hard to think but she
told herself she had to—had to reason this out before all reason left her.

I
can’t do this…I shouldn’t do this.
But why? It
wasn’t that she feared to lose her status as one of the Unpenetrated—that had
already happened. Once she would have felt that submitting herself to a male’s
shaft would make her less of a woman—but she no longer really felt that way
anymore. Not after getting to know Thrace as a person. If those were
the only obstacles in the way, she would have gladly given him permission to
save her life. But there was more—the deep seated belief, instilled in
childhood, that doing this—that allowing a male to penetrated her—was a slap in
the face of the goddess she worshipped. Blasphemy…sacrilege…the worst kind of
depravity.

Trin remembered kneeling at the feet of the statue
of the Goddess of Judgment on the day she had been dedicated at the temple. She
had been only twelve cycles old and just that week the priestesses had been
teaching her and the other girls in her class about the filthy, immoral practices
of other planets. Planets where males and females lived and mingled together in
sexual union. There had been pictures too—drawings of huge, brutish males
taking females from behind, forcing their thick shafts into the females’ bodies
while the objects of their lust writhed in agony and shame.

“This
is what will become of you if you allow a male to penetrate you,”
one of the greater sisters—Sister Honor—had
lectured in a low, serious voice.
“A male will use you like trash—defile and
abuse you. And afterwards the Goddess can never accept you into her Holy Halls.
You will be damned to the Hell of Defiled Women when you die. Is that what you
want?
Is it?”

No!
Trin shivered at the old but still vivid memory
.
No, that’s not what I want at all.

Of course, if someone had asked her a few months
ago if she still believed all the teachings of her childhood, she would have scoffed
and said she was a grown woman, capable of making up her own mind. But now,
faced with a decision that would alter her life radically and completely, she
was no longer so quick to scoff. The Hell of Defiled Women might be just a
ridiculous fairy tale made up by vindictive priestesses to keep naughty
children in line but what if it wasn’t? What if it was all true and the Goddess
was watching right now and…

No,
stop it!
she told herself sternly.
Stop
thinking like that. Yes, you’ve been taught to believe this is wrong—the
wrongest thing you can do. But are you so certain about that belief that you’re
willing to give your life for it? Are you really ready to die rather than let a
male penetrate you?

The answer again, was no. No, she didn’t want to
die here, with so much life left to live. No, she didn’t want to give up
everything for her childhood beliefs.

But neither did she want to dishonor herself
completely. Part of her—a large part—wanted to be back in Thrace’s arms. Wanted to feel his
white-hot kisses on her mouth, taste his lips and then open herself to him. To
let him stroke and caress every inch of her body before he finally thrust home
within her.

However, Trin knew that was exactly what she must
not
do. There had to be a way to do this—to have sex with the huge Havoc and
save her life—without making it a worse blasphemy than it already was. There
must
be a way…

Suddenly, she knew how.

“All right,” she whispered at last, looking up at Thrace,
who was waiting anxiously for her answer. “But…I don’t want this to be a pleasurable
experience.”

“What?” He frowned, clearly not sure he’d heard her
correctly.

“You heard me.” Trin raised her chin. “I said, I
don’t
want
it to be pleasurable. It
shouldn’t
be. This isn’t
right and I’m not doing it for pleasure or because I want you…want you in me.
It’s a
necessity
. It’s only to save my life.” She took a deep breath.
“So don’t make it nice and sweet and safe for me, Thrace. Don’t try to make me come.
Just…just shove it in and do it.”

His face hardened.

“Are you asking me to rape you? Because I won’t
fucking do that, Trin.”

“It’s not rape—I’m willing.” She threw his own
words back at him and watched him flinch. “Just not…” She crossed her arms over
her breasts which felt swollen and hot with need. “Just not willing to make
this anything else but what it is—a necessary evil.”

“Is your guilt really that great?” His voice was a
hoarse whisper. “So great you can’t let the
only
time we share this
together be any good? Any good at all?”

“I just can’t. Can’t let myself enjoy it.” Trin
looked at him pleadingly. “Try to understand, Thrace—doing this is bad enough.
Allowing myself to take pleasure in it…that would be
beyond
wrong.”

“How can it be wrong to show you how I feel about
you?” His deep voice was almost pleading now. “To worship your body with my
own…to give you as much pleasure as I can when I take you? Please Trin, can’t
you at least let me do that?”

For a moment Trin wanted to melt at his soft,
heartfelt words. But she knew she couldn’t let herself bend on this—couldn’t
give so much as an inch. It wasn’t just her body at stake but her very soul—and
everything she had believed in since childhood. There could be no compromising
here.

“No,” she said, trying to keep a steady voice. “No,
I’m sorry but I can’t.”

Forcing herself to be hard and cold, she walked
stiffly to the bed. There she stripped off the green Yonnie Six gown, tearing
the white lace panels in the process and letting it fall in a heap on the
floor. She kicked it carelessly aside—it wasn’t like she would ever need it
again. Hooking her thumbs in the tiny string panties that went with the gown,
she pushed them down her hips. Then she turned to Thrace and spread her arms, showing
herself to him.
Offering
herself to him.

“Here I am,” she whispered in a voice that only
trembled a little. “Come and do it. Before I change my mind.”

He came to her slowly, his face like a
thundercloud. Trin’s heart thudded in her chest but she lifted her chin and met
his eyes. If they were going to do this, it would be on her terms and her terms
alone. She just wished her pussy would stop throbbing and her nipples would
stop tingling. She told herself it was just the passion berry wine working on
her but the closer he got, the stronger the urge to reach for him became. Trin
could smell his warm, spicy scent—what he’d called his bonding
scent—surrounding her. Goddess, how could she want him so much when she knew it
was so wrong?

No,
stop it—stay strong!
she ordered
herself. She got on the bed, naked on her knees with her hands on her thighs. Thrace knelt
opposite her in the same position.

“All right,” he growled. “If that’s the way you
want it, we’ll get right to it.”

He reached between her legs and cupped her pussy.

“What are you doing?” She started to back away but
he shook his head.

“Un-uh, baby—hold still. You want it over and done
with? Fine, we can do it like that. But first I have to see if you’re ready for
me. I won’t hurt you just to ease your guilt. If we’re going to do this, you
have to be wet enough to take me.”

“Fine.” Trin gritted her teeth and held still while
he spread her pussy lips and stroked her inner folds, testing her wetness.
Despite Thrace’s
angry tone, his big hand was infinitely gentle as he explored her. She tried to
stifle her moans as his long fingers stroked slowly around her throbbing clit,
caressing the little bundle of nerves so tenderly she felt like she might
scream.

“Satisfied?” she asked at last, wishing her voice
didn’t come out so high and breathy. Goddess, he was driving her crazy! The way
he was touching her felt good—much
too
good.
I shouldn’t be enjoying
this. Shouldn’t want it at all—any of it.
But how could she help wanting
him when he touched her like this?

“Almost. Just need to check if you’re wet enough
inside. Can you let me do that baby?” His voice was a soft growl that sent
shivers down her spine as much as the sparks of pleasure his gentle, insistent
touch was sending through her body. “Can you let me penetrate you with my
fingers one more time before I fill you with my cock?”

“I…I guess so,” Trin whispered, trying not to let
the hot, forbidden words affect her.

“Good.” Thrace looked into her eyes as he
slid two long, thick fingers into the depths of her cunt.

“Ahh!” Unable to help herself, she gripped his
bicep to keep her balance as he thrust deep to penetrate her to the core. She
could feel his fingertips caressing the end of her channel and she knew that
soon his shaft would be there. It felt so good Trin could hardly stand it but
she forced herself to hold still and not work herself against the invading
fingers as they fucked slowly in and out of her.

I’m
not enjoying this,
she told
herself sternly.
I’m not, I’m not, I’m
not!
But if she wasn’t enjoying it, why was her pussy so hot and wet for him
already? Why did her body react so strongly to his gentle, teasing touch?
It’s
the passion berries—just the passion berries,
she tried to tell herself but
she only half believed it.

At last, Thrace withdrew his fingers. Still
keeping his eyes locked with hers, he sucked them into his mouth, cleaning away
all her juices. The sensuous gesture made her shiver with desire and Trin
wanted to melt in a puddle at his feet—to open herself completely and let him
lick and suck and pleasure her until she couldn’t think anymore—until she could
only feel.

But that was wrong. She shouldn’t be enjoying this.
Suddenly the images she’d seen in the temple as a girl rose into her mind
again—the females on their hands and knees, being taken from behind in the most
brutal and animalistic way possible. That was what she deserved for doing
this—pain and humiliation. That was what she needed.

“I hope you’re satisfied now,” she said, trying to
keep her tone curt and clipped. “Because I’m ready to get this over with.”
Turning her back to him, she crouched on the bed on her hands and knees and
defiantly spread her thighs, offering him free access to her naked, unprotected
pussy.