Her mother brought her into a strong embrace. “Darling girl, I think you have to face the idea that you are most likely with child.”
Tears streamed down Mia’s cheeks. “Not with him. Not with him,” she cried.
“I know, sweetheart. Davies is definitely not the ideal man with whom to procreate but you are very late at this point.”
“It’s all I can think of,” she admitted. “How do you carry and learn to love a child when you know what a terrible person the father is?”
“Honestly, I am not sure. I can only tell you when you see your baby for the first time, it is an amazing moment of pure love. In your case, you shall have to focus on the positives and not what you know of Davies.”
“I hope you are right,” Mia said, pulling away from her mother.
“Have you told the earl?”
She shook her head against her mother’s shoulder. “I cannot. What must he think of me as it is? I have been with two men and now I am with child because of it.”
Her mother sighed softly. “It is time you told him.”
“I know. I suppose I shall have to move back with you.”
“No, he will keep you here until Davies is caught.”
“Mother, no one has seen Allan since this happened. He is probably in London where he can get lost in the crowds. Why would he come back now?”
Her mother gave her a strange look. “Because he obviously came here for a reason. Chose you for a reason. And I doubt he got what he wanted from you.”
Mia bit her lip, thinking about the small emerald she’d found last night. She remembered how her heart pounded in her chest when she thought she’d seen Allan in the woods. What if he had been watching to see where she found the small treasures?
“I just don’t understand why he would come back. He knows Hart found me.”
“This is some odd business you have gotten into, Mia. Until the man is caught and questioned, we may never know his motives for choosing you. And that is why you must stay here.”
“But I need to help you with the tenants.”
“It’s summer, Mia. Other than a few babies to birth and a few children’s bones to set, there is not much they need. I can handle that for both estates.”
“Of course,” Mia said.
“You must heal yourself and stay safe. No wandering away from the house without a footman or better yet, the earl himself.”
Why would her mother suggest the earl should be the one to escort her? “I would think the earl would have better things to do than walk with me.”
“Nonsense. I am quite certain he would be happy to go for a stroll with you.” Her mother walked toward her bag. “Or anything else you might want to do with him.”
After she left, Mia stared at the door. What in the devil was her mother implying? Did her mother know Simon wanted her in his bed? What happened yesterday in his study could not happen again until she knew for certain whether she was with child or not.
Chapter 11
S
imon ate breakfast alone, wondering what was keeping Mia from eating. His shoulders sagged. Morning sickness. What else could it be? She always ate a hearty breakfast. But he knew from his sister how debilitating morning sickness could be to a woman. Her letters had been far too graphic for his taste, though he learned much about what a woman goes through when with child.
He pushed his plate away unable to stomach another bite.
“Was everything all right, my lord?” Thomas asked. Concern lined the footman’s face.
“Yes. I’m just not hungry this morning. Tell Mrs. Alder it was delicious.”
“Yes, my lord.”
With no sign of Mia, he had no idea if they were to meet at the field for throwing practice. According to Caroline, once her morning sickness passed, she felt quite well the rest of the day. He walked outside and stared at the landscaping near the house. Perhaps today was the day he worked in the garden and transplanted some of the flowers closer to the fountain. He’d been meaning to do it anyway.
He walked to the stables and gathered his shovel and leather work gloves. It was time that boxwood was moved to a new location. Then he could find something smaller to fit in that space.
He quickly dug up the shrub and moved it by the fountain where it would have more room to grow. That done, he looked around for something else to move, but he was far too good at this and there was nothing else out of place.
“That looks quite nice by the fountain.”
Simon turned and stared at Mia. Her face was drawn and pale. Her eyes red from tears. “How are you this morning? You missed breakfast.”
“I am well,” she said in a stilted tone.
“Did you eat?”
“Yes, Lucy brought me a plate with my tea.” Mia looked at the bench by the fountain. “Simon, we need to talk.”
Simon closed his eyes for a long moment and breathed in deeply. He didn’t want to hear this. It was his worst nightmare. He finally thought he would be able to marry the woman he had loved from afar for twelve years only to have it ripped away from him because of a monster of a man.
“Simon?”
“Just tell me what you need to say.” He walked over to the bench and sat next to her. He clasped her hand in his. As hard as this was for him, it must be so much harder for her. To be with child from the man who beat her must be far worse than any nightmare he could imagine. “You are with child,” he said to make it easier on her.
She pressed her lips together and nodded.
“Are you certain?”
“I’m ten days late, Simon. The most I have ever been is five.” Mia cried. “I’m sorry but I cannot marry you.”
He clasped her hand and pulled it to his lips. “Shh, Mia. Even if you are with child we can figure something out.”
“There is nothing to figure out. I cannot marry you. I will return to my mother’s cottage today.”
The firm tone of her voice should have stopped him cold. “No, you will not. You will not leave this house until Davies is caught.”
“He is gone, Simon. He wouldn’t dare return after seeing you come for me.”
He rose and stared down at her. After yesterday in the study, there was no way he would lose her. He didn’t care how at this point, but he would have her. “You will not leave. If you do, I shall drag you back here.”
She blinked at him before laughing. “Simon, listen to yourself. You sound like some barbarian from the dark ages who will take whatever he wants and damn the consequences.”
He supposed that was exactly how he sounded to her. But he didn’t care. He would not risk her being hurt again. “I meant what I said, Mia. If you leave, I shall bring you back here.”
“As your mistress, I suppose?”
She had to mention that. Images of her writhing under him came instantly to his mind. He pushed those lascivious thoughts away. “No, there is no need for you to become my mistress.”
Dammit!
Did he really just say those words? There was every reason for her to become his mistress. Just the thought of her in his bed every night made him hard with desire. He had to leave this situation before he did act like a barbarian, throw her over his shoulder, and lock her in his bedchamber.
“We will speak no more of this,” he commanded. “Until Davies is caught you will remain here. Once we have him, then we will revisit your living accommodations. In the meantime, you can act as my steward. Good day.”
After watching Simon storm off in a completely uncharacteristic manner, Mia walked back to the house and wrote to Selina. With Tia gone, Selina was the only one who could help her.
Almost two hours later, Selina finally arrived. With the tea poured, her friend stared at Mia. “What is wrong, Mia? Your note sounded urgent.”
Mia stared down at the amber liquid in her cup. “I need your help with something but you must promise me that you won’t tell a soul.”
Selina sipped her tea and then placed the cup on the table next to her. “Mia, that will depend on the favor. I cannot risk my position as duchess now.”
“I understand. It is truly a small favor. I need you to go to Mr. Rathbourne.”
“The pawnbroker?”
“Yes.” Mia fished out the small emerald and held it out to Selina. “Ask him if he will buy this. Try to haggle for a higher amount because he will always try to give you less than it’s worth.” She had learned that with the first piece of gold she’d sold to him.
Selina’s green eyes widened. “Mia, did you steal this from the earl?” she whispered.
“Of course not.” Well, not exactly. It wasn’t stealing if he didn’t know the emerald was there in the first place... was it?
“Where did you get this?”
“I found it.”
Selina shook her head. “Where? You know as well as I, if you found it on his land it belongs to him.”
Mia closed her eyes and nodded. “Selina, I am doing this for him.”
“What do you mean?”
Simon would never want anyone to know about his finances. “I can’t tell you. Please just trust me. Any money you get from selling that gem will go to the earl.”
“What aren’t you telling me, Mia?”
“Please,” she begged. “Just do this for me.”
“Not until you tell me the truth,” Selina replied, crossing her arms over her chest.
She was going to have to tell her some of the truth. “Very well. A year ago, I was helping Mrs. Perkins with her potato crop. I found a very old gold hilt. I sold it and gave the money to the tenants who needed it the most. Then I found a few other pieces of gold and did the same. By selling this emerald and giving him the money, I can repay what I took from him.”
“Indeed. So you are stealing more from him to repay what you already took from him.”
Of course, Selina was right. But Mia had no other choice. “Will you do it?”
“Yes.” Selina took another sip of her tea. “Now, why are you still staying here? Have you become his lover?”
Mia frowned slightly. Was she now his lover after what they did in the study? She thought it did, but he hadn’t wanted her as his mistress. So what did that make her? “I don’t believe so,” she said aloud before realizing her mistake.
“You don’t believe so? You either are or you are not.” Selina eyed her carefully. “Which is it?”
“No,” she answered in a wavering tone.
“That didn’t sound terribly convincing. What happened?”
While they had been friends forever, and Mia had shared with Selina some of her experiences with Paul, yet something about talking about what she and Simon had done felt sordid. “It was nothing,” she lied. “Just a very heated kiss.”
“There is nothing wrong with that,” Selina said with a laugh. “Did it go further than a kiss?”
Before she knew it, Mia confessed all that had happened. Her cheeks burned from embarrassment. Surely, only whores and strumpets let a man do that to her.
“I remember the first time Colin did that with me,” Selina said with a dreamy look on her face. “It was the most incredible thing I have ever felt.”
“You and the duke have done that?”
“Of course, it’s perfectly natural.”
Mia leaned in. “But none of the other men I have been with ever did. And Simon and I haven’t even made love.”
Selina’s lips twitched. “Hmm, after what you just told me, you did. You just haven’t had intercourse. There are many ways to make love.” Selina proceeded to confide in Mia many of things she had done with her new husband.
By the time she finished, Mia didn’t think she would ever be able to look the duke in the eyes again. In a month of marriage, her friend had done more with her husband than Mia had done with three men. Perhaps she wasn’t the strumpet she’d thought. She also wondered what it would be like to do some of those erotic things with Simon. Would he be shocked if she asked him?
It mattered not. Until this issue of being with child was settled, she shouldn’t be with him again. No matter how much she wanted it.
Mia didn’t see Simon the rest of the day. Harris had told her the earl was busy with estate business, but when she went to his study Simon wasn’t there. At dinner, Harris said the earl went to visit a sick tenant. That excuse seemed far too weak because her mother would have told her if someone was sick. So what was Simon hiding from her that he wanted Harris to lie for him?
After a solitary meal, she retrieved one of the throwing knives and strapped it to her thigh. This time when she went to dig, she would at least have a weapon. She placed an open book on the table next to her favorite chair in the library and then escaped through the door.
As she made her way to Mrs. Perkins’s house, Mia prayed she would find more jewels or gold she could sell for Simon. The emerald she’d given Selina to sell wouldn’t come near to getting his finances back in order. There had to be more to find.
An hour of digging on such a warm night had made her feel gritty and dirty. She patted down the soil on the hole she’d just filled in when she heard a twig snap off to her right. Her heart started a staccato beat, but this time she breathed in deep and remembered the deer she saw last time. She stared into the woods but saw nothing.
Pushing aside her fear, she went back to digging. After another hour, she found nothing but bits of pottery and other items that would not bring in a farthing. Frustration rushed through her. There had to be something here.
“Looking for something?”
Terror overcame frustration as she slowly turned to face Allan. “What are you doing here, Allan?”
“I knew there was more here and at some point you would come looking for it.”
“You’ve been watching me?”
He took a step closer until he saw the knife Mia pulled out. “Put that away. You barely made a dent last time.” As if to prove that to her, he yanked his cotton shirt off his right shoulder.
Mia looked at it with a critical eye. He hadn’t even needed stitches. Now scab-covered, it did seem to be nothing more than a scratch. “I have been practicing. I am quite certain I could do a better job this time.”
“I noticed you and the earl have gotten quite cozy,” he sneered. “I suppose having an earl between your legs is better than someone like me.”
“Very much so,” she said with a smug grin. Allan didn’t need to know that only the earl’s mouth had gotten between her thighs.
“You bitch.” He moved so quickly Mia didn’t see it coming. The slap to her face knocked her to the ground. “Go back to that bastard. Now that I know where to dig, I don’t need you.”
He was letting her go? “I shall tell the earl you are here. He is looking for you.” What in God’s name possessed her to say that to him?
“Go ahead and do tell him. By the time he arrives, I will already have plucked some gems from the dirt and be on my way. And if not,” he pulled out a pistol from behind his back, “I will have to shoot him.” He bent over and sneered at her. “Or maybe I should take you with me. You weren’t the best I’ve ever had in bed but maybe with some more lessons, you could figure out how to satisfy a real man.”
Mia scrambled away from him before he could touch her. She clambered to her feet and ran off. The sound of his coarse laugher followed her. She raced the entire way back to the estate until her ribs felt like they were on fire. Not until she reached the terrace did she stop to see if he had chased her.
She should have known he wouldn’t. Although tonight was the first time she had mentioned Simon without Allan seeming nervous. That was particularly odd. When the moonlight had struck his face, she thought she’d seen a madness in his bloodshot eyes that reminded her of the day he’d beaten her. But tonight he seemed even colder, if that was possible. And yet, she could have sworn, he wanted her to come back here and tell Simon he was out there.
There was no way she was going to tell Simon tonight so he would rush off unprepared for Allan’s ruthlessness. Somehow, she had to get the investigation focused on this area and not London as they all had presumed Allan had gone. But how could she do that without telling Simon what she’d been doing?
“What the bloody hell are you doing out here?” Simon’s voice surprised her.
She restrained herself from running to his arms to feel the protection and safety she knew she would feel there. “I was out for a breath of air.”
“Alone?”
“I only walked out toward the fountain to relax and listen to the sound of the water. I was within sight of the house the entire time.” Would she ever stop lying to him? He had proved himself a trustworthy person so why couldn’t she just tell him everything? Because she didn’t want to break the trust he had in her. Even though, at some point she would have to do just that.
“I told you not to leave without a footman.” He crossed his arms over his chest and his gray eyes stared at her coldly.
“Simon, I needed a moment to myself. To think about things. I could not do that with a footman hovering over me.”