Entwined With the Dark (39 page)

The sentence was simple enough, five little words that would seal my fate and Darken my soul. I had always known Aliath and his Aunt, the Queen of the
Dökkálfa,
were not close. He may be her heir and part of her Court, but he despised how she ruled. He despised her. But it hadn't occurred to me that he would hate her so much he would wish for her death. Or maybe his ambition was such that he wanted to be King. I wasn't sure, but his reasons for asking this were not first and foremost on my mind. What consumed me right now, was the fact I was considering doing this at all.

Sofiq had been at the top of my To Kill List since returning from
Álfheimr
. She had many offences to be held accountable for. Starting with the charm she had placed on Michel when he killed his sire close to five hundred years before. She had told him, at the time, that he would be faced with his sire's death again and when he was, he would free the
Dökkálfa
and all that he held precious would be lost. At the time he ignored the threat, but when Amicus returned from the
dead
, he had pieced the puzzle back together.

It hadn't turned out exactly how he had thought though. Instead of losing me - the thing he held most precious in his eyes - he had been taken from our world. He had lost
everything
that made him powerful and had been held prisoner by Sofiq in the
Dökkálfa
Royal Court. But that wasn't the least of her offences. She had tortured him in exchange for arranging my escape from the
Ljósálfar
. She had tormented and harmed him and I had been unable to forgive her that.

Then, to really piss me off, she had cut off my hair in a fit of rage. Inconsequential in the scheme of things, but still annoying enough to make me fume. I'd had many pleasant daydreams considering how I'd pay her back. And I admit, in some of them she had been killed. Now here I was being presented with a challenge to do just that. The desire to accept it was overpowering. It clouded my judgement and threatened to call forth my Dark.

I needed the joining to Avery broken. I needed it and I knew what Aliath asked was the only payment he would accept for that request. I was certain, with time not on our side, that we had no other options available. Avery would thwart us even with the threat of the Champion killing me hanging over his head. He would simply find a way to keep me alive, maybe he'd abduct me, imprison me for the rest of our lives, but he would
not
give up access to my power. Despite the fact he was losing a little more every day.

I was backed into a corner and I never did like being cornered at all.

My cellphone buzzing interrupted my thoughts, I glanced at the screen and saw it was Michel. I couldn't fathom why he hadn't simply talked to me in my mind. "Excuse me," I mumbled reaching for it, thoughts of him being injured and unable to mentally contact me swimming through my head.

"Hello?" I said tentatively, holding my breath.

"You cannot do it," came Michel's strained voice down the line.

"Why are you phoning?" I asked, ignoring his statement altogether.

"This needs to be said aloud," he replied, his voice rough with emotion. "You cannot agree to this. It would take you too close to the Dark."

My eyes glanced up at Aliath, watching me closely, no doubt hearing every word Michel spoke. I didn't want to have this conversation in front of him, because I was going to have to put Michel in his place. And to do that, I was going to be cruel. I wanted to hide that side of myself a little longer from others. I placed my hand over the phone and stood up, surprised I wasn't dizzy from the movement.

"I need to take this call, I'll be back shortly." Aliath just nodded slowly, a small dip of his head.

I walked from the room and headed into the kitchen before I returned the phone to my ear.

"We have no choice and you know it. There is no other way."

"We will find a way," Michel replied tersely. "You will not do this."

I bristled at his controlling words, absent for so long, but rearing their big ugly head now with relative ease.

"We knew he would ask a lot. Did you honestly think it would be something we would be happy to do?"

"No, but this is unacceptable. To walk this path you will embrace the Dark. I do not want that for you." He sounded desperate, raw emotions flooding his words and slamming into my chest. I hated hearing him like this. I hated knowing my actions were causing him immeasurable pain.

"What choice do we have?" I asked, my voice rising and also cracking at the end. It was hopeless, if I didn't do this, if I didn't allow that part of me that was already entwined with the Dark free reign, we would lose everything.

"No,
ma douce
," Michel said on an almost-sob. "We will fight, we will run, we will do whatever is necessary to stay one step ahead of the Champion, but we will
not
let you dance with the Dark."

I went to argue, the words already on my tongue, but his next sentence stopped me. Mouth open, heart in throat, breath all but gone.

"You are my beautiful little Light, the reason for my existence. If you do this, a part of me will die."

The words -
his beautiful little Light, the reason for his existence
- I had heard them all before. But they had always been uttered in French. The language of his homeland. To hear them now in English, in my tongue for my ears, made them seem so much more potent. I stifled a sob as I collapsed to a chair.

"No, Michel, please don't say that."

"It is the truth." His voice was thick with emotion, maybe even unshed tears. He believed if I crossed this line, something would be lost forever. Maybe he thought there was no returning from this act for me at all. And if I was honest, I had already considered that. To kill for anything other than self-defence or under the direction of Nut with my Light, was murder. There was no redemption for that.

I may have wanted Sofiq dead for her misdeeds, but I had never truly considered it something I would ever do. Unless she attacked me, tried to kill me or mine. But the chances of her doing just that, right when I needed her to, was slim. We had an uneasy alliance, through my connection with the heir to her throne. If I did accept this payment Aliath had laid before me, I would be accepting it as a murderer and nothing else.

I let a long breath of air out. I couldn't do this. It wasn't me.

"Thank God," Michel murmured, having heard my thoughts. "We will find a solution, we will do what needs to be done to keep you secure. Trust me,
ma douce
, I will not let her harm you. There will be a way to stay safe."

I knew he was just saying the words to console, I had started crying softly by the time he began to talk. They were just words though, we both knew it. There was no escaping the might of the
Iunctio
. I had tried and failed in the past, sooner or later the Champion would get her pound of flesh. If Aliath couldn't agree to something else as payment, it was over, all was lost.

I said a tearful good-bye to Michel with a promise I wouldn't change my mind. And after taking
a few moments to prepare myself, headed back to the front room to change Aliath's mind instead. I was quite sure it was useless, but I had to at least try.

Aliath and Samson were sitting quietly opposite each other as I walked back in the room. Both sets of eyes locked on mine. They knew what I was about to say before I even attempted to find my voice, but it was Samson who stood and spoke first.

"It has been done, mistress. The payment has been agreed to, Aliath will persuade Avery tonight."

"What?" I said, as all blood drained from my face, a heavy and totally uninvited emptiness centring in the middle of my chest. Samson stepped forward and took my hand, helping me to sit. I obviously looked like I was about to keel over. Not far from the truth. "What have you done, Samson?" I asked as I took in the determined set of his jaw.

"What needed to be done, mistress," he replied, letting go of my hand. "I owe you my life, I intend to repay that debt."

What debt? There had never been a debt for freeing Samson from the Dark. It was my job, who I am and I was forever grateful to have him under my line. There was nothing he needed to do to pay that back.

He spoke again before I could stop him, I didn't want to hear the words. "I will kill Sofiq. You need not tread this Dark path.
I
will tread it."

"No," I said softly on a moan, unable to speak louder and voice my alarm.

"It is done," the fairy said, gliding to his feet. "The agreement made, it cannot be altered now."

He held my gaze for a moment, letting me know the price Samson was about to pay. Letting me know the sacrifice my vampire was willing to make for me. Not letting me escape the burden he carried at all. I don't know why he made me see that, but I nodded in understanding, more than ready to acknowledge the intent of his gaze.

"Courage," he said softly. "Your courage continues to amaze." Then he stepped forward and disappeared, a small pop as the air around him found its natural place.

And I was left bereft at what my vampire had chosen to do. And guilty he had felt it necessary to offer himself up in place of me at all.

Oh, Samson! How could you? And how could I live with his decision? How could I ever sleep peacefully again now, knowing what this would do to his soul?

"Just how do you plan to do this?" I had found my voice again, much to Samson's annoyance. "You're a level four
Sanguis Vitam
Master Vampire. Forgive me, Samson, but you are nowhere near strong enough to combat a Fairy Queen!"

"Aliath has given me a weapon."

I looked about the room searching for this mythical weapon. "It better be bloody impressive, Samson, to come against Sofiq."

"It is," he replied smoothly.

"Then what is it?" I demanded, crossing my arms over my chest. "A spear? A machete? A fucking charm?"

"Nothing like that, no," he answered running a hand through his long blond hair. "It is something he does not want common knowledge... yet he didn't swear me to secrecy." He sounded slightly bemused by that.

"That's because a threat from a Grey Lord should be enough to shut you up!" I all but shouted back at him, my fists clenching and unclenching at my sides. I sighed. "Tell me, I swear I'll hold the secret too."

His eyes flicked to mine uncertainly. I held my breath, desperate to know what he would have to do and really not wanting to hear his words at all. A weapon to a fairy could be anything, this was already beginning to sound way beyond bad.

"The
Dökkálfa
can only feed off one emotion at a time," he said, slumping down in a seat before me. He looked tired, exhausted, more weary than I had ever seen before.

"Yeah, that's what he said to me too," I offered, wondering when the secret part of this equation would come out and bite us on the arse.

"Well, he also said if they feed off more than one it can be harmful, right?" I nodded in agreement. "When they feed off all four of the emotions they covet at once, then it has disastrous effects."

All four emotions that they covet. Hope, fear, love and courage. I sat down on my seat opposite Samson, leaning forward and placing my elbows on my thighs. "And how do you get them to do that?" I had pictures of them feeding off several people at once, each person with a different emotion. I just couldn't picture that being tempting enough for a fairy like Sofiq to fall for the trap. It seemed too complicated to appeal.

"The best way, Aliath said, is to offer up yourself as a sacrifice, being sure to only think - or feel - those emotions and none other. The combination of one person being able to feel those four emotions in large enough quantities, would be near impossible for a
Dökkálfa
fairy to avoid. He believes, if she has been placed under enough strain and I time it right, she will be unable to resist the temptation to feed."

"Wait a minute," I said trying to puzzle through it. "How the hell do you think of those emotions
all
at once?" I mean hope and fear seemed at opposite ends of the spectrum. I could understand love and hope and courage existing side by side at a pinch, I suppose, but how complex would a person have to be to manage that? And then throw fear into the mix? I shook my head.

And then it dawned on me. The only possible time someone could feel all four emotions. If they were in love and afraid of losing it, but at the same time hopeful it would prevail and had the courage to continue to pursue it even though it threatened to cause them pain. I raised my eyes to Samson's and saw the naked truth staring back at me.

"You feel that already, don't you?" I whispered, my heart aching for him all the more.

"Every time I think of her," he admitted with a rueful smile. "She refuses to let me in, but I know she still has feelings. And I know one day I
will
make her mine, but it's not going to be easy. And I'm scared I may not be able to reach her in time." He sighed, a mournful sound. "She battles her Dark daily and refuses all offer of help."

That was Gigi for you; stubborn, wilful, powerful and the love of Samson's life.

I had no idea what to say to him, I could see the level of pain this caused, but also the depth of emotion he felt at the thought of the Nothus. A part of me that was completely selfish felt hope briefly at the thought that he
could
do this, that all was not lost for
me
. And then I cursed myself silently for being such a selfish bitch and accepting Samson's pain so easily.

"Oh, Samson," I said on a breath of air. I got up and went to him, wrapping my arms around his large frame. He was like a favourite brother to me - not really a son, I'd never been a parent so I couldn't quite relate to that connection. But I would do anything to keep Samson safe and happy. My obligation through our Light Bond had nothing to do with the love I felt for this man.

"How could you?" I whispered, still unable to come to terms with his sacrifice. I understood his motivation, but I just couldn't live with the consequences they would bring.

"It will be all right, Luce," he whispered back, his face buried in my hair. "I have to do this. Please let me."

I stifled a sob at the request, because even if I put my foot down and commanded him not to be a fool and follow this through to completion, it would be in vain. The agreement had been established and Aliath was already holding up his side of the bargain. Samson couldn't back out now. Not on my command and not if he changed his mind either.

I held him for several minutes and didn't say a word. What was there to say? I tried to organise my thoughts, to accept this as a
fait accompli
, but it was useless. There would always be a part of me that ached because of the choice he made today. The only thing I could promise myself and him, was that I would do everything in my power to call him back towards the Light.

But, this path would make him very Dark indeed and could not be fixed with a simple blast of my Light. Like everything in the universe, there are consequences to what we choose to do. I can balance out the Dark and Light in someone, but if they choose to do Dark deeds again afterwards, then they're pretty much on their own. Usually if they return to being Dark I have to stake them. My heart ripped apart at the thought that I may have to do that to Samson.

I couldn't, but I had no idea how to prevent this from happening now.

I pulled out of the embrace, suddenly feeling quite sick to be near him. All at the thought of what lay ahead - for him and for me.

"I need to sleep," I said, scrambling for a reason to be out of here. I wasn't tired though, not now, adrenaline had seen to that. But exhaustion was still knocking on the door to my body and I couldn't stop it from barging in.

"OK," Samson said warily, I think he had picked up on my mood. "If you're hungry I can bring up some more food."

"Ah, no, that's fine. I'll just get some sleep." Food would only come straight back up again, I was sure.

I almost ran from the room, but at the last second forced myself to slow. I think it didn't hide my eagerness to be anywhere other than with him. Guilt thrashed through me, bruising my shattered psyche as it pounded in my chest. My heartbeat racing as I tried to stop the tears. By the time I made it to my bedroom, I was sobbing. I curled up on the bed and let the tears fall, my whole frame shuddering, my whole body participating in releasing my hold on the pain.

I didn't know how to deal with this knowledge. I didn't know how to get past the ache that had set inside my heart. Samson was sacrificing his soul, maybe his life, definitely his Light, for me. I asked Nut for guidance and forgiveness. I asked her to help Samson to get through this without losing too much of himself in the process. And I cried. I cried for a long, long time.

Finally, I heard Michel's soothing voice in my head, trying to calm me, trying to embrace me with his words. He didn't tell me it would be all right. He didn't try to tell me it wasn't my fault, that it was Samson's choice not mine - or something equally as trite. He just told me he loved me, no matter what. That he was waiting for me. And that together we would get through this hurdle, this pain, and make it to the other side. I wasn't sure how and he didn't give me any answers. For once
he didn't try to solve my problems, he was just there to share my pain.

I fell asleep sometime later, his voice in my head never ceasing, just a soft murmur of words that slid from English to French somewhere along the way, and allowed me to seek some form of rest in slumber.

I woke to the shutters rising, the electronic whir breaking through my numb and hollow mind. I was grateful I hadn't dreamt, but the relief was short lived when I realised we'd be heading to Paris and facing the Champion tonight. I couldn't even get excited over the joining - the breaking and  rejoining that is. How could I be happy about that when it meant Aliath had carried out his end of the deal and all that was left was for Samson to kill Sofiq?

I stared out the window into a cold, cloudy and drizzly night. No stars, just a heaviness that matched my current mood. I'd been standing looking out on the street in front of Samson's house for fifteen minutes, when two Range Rovers pulled up outside. My guards emerged from one and Antonio and Ricardo, Michel's shadow guards, climbed out of the other. Their arrival sounding a death knell in my brain.

With heavy limbs and a heavy heart I headed to the bathroom to get dressed.

I used the time in the shower to fortify myself, it was time to suck it up. We had a hell of a lot ahead of ourselves tonight. If the Ambrosia was wrong and he couldn't break the joining and rejoin Michel to me, then we'd be exposed to the Champion’s wrath. I had no doubt she would attend the ceremony and the chance of escape, if the shit hit the fan, was not going to be great. So I needed my game face on and as hard as it was to push thoughts of what Samson had done and would have to do aside, I had to. Our lives depended on me being in top form.

So, I told myself to get the fuck over it, to find my inner hunter and by the time I came down the stairs to the front room and the vampires waiting, I was hungry, focused and back to my former self. My vampires all stood as soon as I entered the room, M&M saluted and the two shadow guards just nodded their heads. Samson looked uncertain, watching my face as though I would break down at any moment.

"Hey!" I said brightly. "I gotta eat and then we can go."

"I'll grab you something," Samson said tearing out of the room as though being chased by a stake. The others watched his departure with a mixture of amusement and puzzlement on their faces.

"What's up with him?" Marcus asked.

"Anxious about tonight, no doubt," I said quietly, wishing I could say something to reassure Samson, but knowing if I went there I'd be a blubbering mess.

He came back in a few moments later, several bakery style sandwiches and cakes in a paper bag. Plus a take-away coffee mug full of my favourite drink. "I thought you could eat on the way," he suggested, handing me the items but not meeting my gaze.

"Thanks," I mumbled, taking the offered food and aware the other vampires were studying us closely. None of them could figure out why Samson and I were strained.

I wanted to tell them, to give them the heads up, but once again saying it aloud would have had a disastrous effect. Instead I said tersely, "Let's get this show on the road."

"And what a show it's gonna be!" Marcus declared cheerfully as they all started heading out the door, the rest of the group starting to talk animatedly about the prospect of Michel gaining his joining power back by sun-up and what that would mean for the Durand line.

The food in my clutched hand suddenly didn't seem as appealing, nerves tingling and starting to fray inside. There was a moment of organising who was going to travel with whom in each of the cars. Finally I ended up with Marcus, Nataliya and Sergei, but I wasn't sure if that was by chance or if Samson had engineered it so. I sighed as I got in the back seat with Nataliya, she caught my eye, a frown line creasing her brow. I shook my head in warning, I just couldn't go there, I needed to stay strong.

I nibbled on some of the food, sipped some of the coffee and added the odd comment to the conversation to avoid being called out in my slump. By the time we made it to Michel's private jet my mood was morose again, any hold on my inner hunter had well and truly gone. I didn't look at Samson as we headed on board the plane and just took a seat on the couch trying to ignore the increasing banter from the others, the level of their excitement matching the level of my fear.

James, Michel's cabin steward, approached me as the others got themselves settled around the luxurious cabin. His timid stance making me focus on something other than myself. In his hand was a wrapped long parcel. I knew instantly what it was going to be.

"For you, mistress," he said quietly, handing the object over with a small bow and then disappearing to his hidden spot near the galley. Nataliya sunk into the seat beside me and buckled herself in.

"What's he given you now?" she said with only mild interest. Michel gifted me things on a regular basis, this was nothing new in her mind. But to me it was, because he would have had to pull a few strings to get this finished so quickly and his timing couldn't have been better.

I unwrapped the tissue paper and folded it back to display what was inside. A replica of my dancing dragon Svante sword, the only noticeable difference was a lightning bolt across the dragon's chest on the hilt and a blue diamond inset in its eye.