Epiphany (18 page)

Waiving my hand in front of my face, I give her the floor to say whatever she’s come
to say. Hopefully, it doesn’t take too long because a nap sure sounds nice right
about now.

“I met my husband when we were still kids. Well, not really kids, we had both just
turned eighteen, but that seems like ages ago,” she begins, and I’m already starting
to block out whatever she’s talking about. It’s quite possible I’ll fall asleep right
here.

“Everything seemed fine in the beginning. I was in school to become a nurse and Sam
started working construction with his dad. By nineteen, we moved into our first apartment
and finally got to live on our own. I thought it was the beginning of my independence,
being able to do whatever I wanted. I was wrong and Sam soon showed me that I wasn’t
free of anything, more like under his thumb all day, every day.” Is it just me or
is she completely missing the point? I don’t have a controlling boyfriend. I just
had a miscarriage. I’m thinking that all this time she’s spent trying to be safe
has gone to her head.

“Sam and I got married at twenty-one and I hoped that would show him that I was only
his. It didn’t really work out that way, or I wouldn’t be sitting on your couch,”
she jokes and I don’t find anything funny. Watching her with a blank stare, I’m losing
my interest fast. Pulling my feet up underneath me, I rest my head on the arm of
the sofa and wait for her to finish.

“A few months ago, it wasn’t just a controlling marriage I was in—it turned physical.
The first time Sam hit me was because I didn’t call him when my schedule got switched
and I had to work later
than usual. The next time was for something even more stupid. Just after Thanksgiving,
I found out I was pregnant,” she says, looking down at her lap, running circles around
on the front of her phone. She’s officially got my attention back.

“I was so excited. I thought a baby was just the thing to bring him down … keep him
calm. I was sadly mistaken. Just before Christmas, we got into a huge fight about
Christmas dinner. I told him I wanted to have it at our house and he wasn’t too keen
on the idea. Things quickly escalated, and long story short, I ended up in the emergency
room with three cracked ribs and no longer pregnant.” Both of us stare at each other,
tears getting ready to spill. My heart aches for her; however, I’m still not sure
what any of this has to do with my situation.

“Instead of going back home, I called my uncle that night and Axe came and picked
me up from the hospital. He took me to their safe house and kept an eye on me—took
care of me. He kept checking his phone and I knew he must have had someone to get
home to. I told him to leave, that I’d be fine, but he came to check on me for the
next few days afterward.” It’s all starting to make sense now. I’m so dumb for thinking
Skylar would do anything to betray or hurt me. Giving myself a mental reminder to
apologize later, I continue listening to her story, hoping there’s a moral or something
coming soon.

“Bottom line is, Mira, Axe … Skylar … is a great guy. He took care of me when I haven’t
seen him in years. He was there for me, helped me heal for no other reason than he’s
an exceptional human being. I know you’re hurting—I hurt. You have to be running
every single scenario through your mind—I did, too. Here’s the thing. There’s no
rhyme or reason as to why things happen when they do, but you have to look at the
bigger picture.” Hope shines in her eyes, and I think I’m starting to understand
where she’s going with all of this.

“Had I had that baby with Sam, I would have never gotten out. That miscarriage saved
my life. Now, all I have to do is find a place to move and get away from everything.
Maybe even find a guy as kind and loving as Skylar.” Jealousy starts to overcome
the sadness as she talks about finding someone like my man. I have a vision of pulling
her hair, slapping her face and screaming that he’s mine and she can’t have him.
Immature or not, it’s the damn truth.

“If you wouldn’t have lost this baby,” My hands start shaking, another breakdown
on the verge, and she grabs a hold and looks at me with the most sincere look anyone
other than my closest friends and family have ever given me, “you could have died.
That cyst could have ruptured and you wouldn’t
have been on high alert already. The loss of this child saved your life and gives
you more time to love the man in the other room.”

Skylar comes out of the bedroom, fresh moisture on his cheeks. “She’s right,” he
whispers. “As much as I wanted that baby, to have a family with you, I would be lost
without you. There’s more time for us to try to have babies. After we’re married,
we can look into adoption.
Whatever you want.
I’ve been trying to tell you for a few days that it’s
you
that I want. Anything else, including children, is just a perk of being with you.”

Maddie loosens the grip on my hand and I take advantage, standing and running into
Skylar’s waiting arms. I may not be healed by any means, but today, I’m one step
closer.

“You know, Mad, Danny just moved to New York City. I’m sure he’s lonely without a
familiar face. You should give him a call. He might even put you up until you get
your feet on the ground.” Skylar’s got to be the smartest guy I’ve ever met, not
to mention a hell of a match maker. I already like Maddie more than Melissa.

“Text me
his number and I’ll give him a call later today. That would be awesome. I’ve always
been a fan of New York. I could really make a home there.” I can already see where
this is going.

Letting go of Skylar, I embrace Maddie, thankful that she shared her story with me.
I know a vast majority of it was just to remind me that Skylar’s a good guy and never
strayed, which I appreciate more than she’ll ever know. However, hearing her tell
me about her miscarriage and what helped her move on … that’s what makes this conversation
special. I’ll forever be grateful to her for that.

Walking her to the door, I give Maddie one last hug as she leaves. Back in the living
room, I join Skylar on the recliner. Climbing in his lap, I lay my head on his shoulder
and start my recovery.

“Why didn’t you just tell me what was going on with Maddie?
It doesn’t seem like there was too much club business there.”

“Her man is fucking nuts. The club was hiding her so she could safely file for divorce.
Since they don’t have kids or own anything together, it wasn’t going to be long before
a judge signed the order. Now that it’s done, and Prowler gave Sam a little motivation,
she’s safe and so are you.”

“Why wouldn’t I have been safe?” I ask, not understanding what any of that had to
do with me.

“Think about it. I was protecting Maddie. If Sam found out it was me helping her,
he might have come here to do something to you.
Kind of like payback.
I don’t know if he would have done anything stupid like that, but I wasn’t about
to take the risk. The less you knew, the better off you were.” Sighing, I run my
fingers along his collar bone. It all sounds dumb to me, but he thought he was protecting
me. Even though we fought about it, my safety was always his number one concern.
I have to give him credit where credit’s due.

“I love you.” I place a kiss on his chest and squeeze him tightly.

“I love you,” he mimics, placing his lips on the top of my head.

It’s not going to be easy. One day at a time. Staying in bed, hiding from the world
isn’t helping anyone. I owe it to Skylar to do whatever I can to be the woman he
fell in love with.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Kylee

Jacoby seems to think I need to do the whole bride experience—shopping for a dress
with my mom and Mira, cake tasting and anything else that sounds like a waste of time.
I’m not that kind of girl. I just want to be married. We could go to the court house
in the morning and do it. I’d be happy. However, he’s not letting me do that, saying
that I’ll regret my decision later. Trying to appease my future husband, I take his
advice and shop for a dress. Just not in a store. The internet is a beautiful thing,
I tell ya.

“What do you think of this one?” I ask Jacoby, pointing at a picture of a wedding
dress on a bridal website. Personally, I’m in love with it; tight bodice, flared
at the bottom and a four foot train. The sweetheart neckline is only a perk.

“You really like that one? Hey, aren’t you supposed to not show me the dress before
the wedding? Bad luck or something stupid
like that?” he asks, skeptical of my choice, apparently.

“Yes,” I answer, slapping his arm and rolling my eyes. “It’s beautiful. Since this
is our day, I want everything to be perfect. So look again and tell me what you think.”
This time it’s his eyes that roll, turning back to the TV.

I briefly consider smacking him in the head with my laptop, but soon realize that
this is how I make my money. Also, Shelby might not understand why I’m beating her
father. One day, though, she’ll understand.

“Shel, come up here for a second.” She might only be five years old, but a girl’s
a girl in my book. Every member of the female race has envisioned their wedding at
least once before. All those damn fairy tales and princesses getting some huge, fancy,
extravagant display of love. Yeah, Shelby’s gonna be my best bet.

My little guinea pig pauses
the movie she’s watching, but not before rewinding it to the most annoying cartoon
song I’ve ever heard. I wish she would
let it go
, for heaven’s sake. Climbing over Jacoby, she nestles into my side, staring her
wide blue eyes at the computer screen.

“Are you going to be a princess, Kylee?” she asks.

“That’s what I’m hoping you could help me with. Daddy and I can’t agree which dress
is prettiest. Do you think you can help me out?”

“Oh, yes. I love this one. It looks just like Cinderella. I love Cinderella, Kylee.”
Shelby points to the exact dress I’ve been fawning over. Knowing I’m not going to
find anything more perfect, I click the order button and it puts the dress in my shopping
cart.

Funny thing, when I go to checkout, there’s a little ‘dresses to match’ section.
I’d like to take credit for finding the next gown, but I’d be a damn liar.

“Kylee, look.
This one’s the same as your princess dress, but it’s my size.” Hot damn, this kid
is better than I thought.

“It sure is. Would you like to wear this dress at mine and Daddy’s wedding?”

“Can I please?” With her hands clasped in front of her face, literally begging, I
add another dress to my cart. Out of the corner of my eye, I catch Jacoby watching
Shelby and me, a shit eating grin on his face.

Paying for my purchase, I excuse Shelby, who has no problem going back to her show
and listening to that God forsaken song another four times before she’s ushered off
to bed. When Jacoby follows to tuck her in, I use my free time to check in with Mira.

It’s been about a month since her miscarriage. I’ve tried to visit and keep her spirits
up, but until recently, she wasn’t even seeing visitors. Hopefully, now that some
time has passed, we can get back to the way our friendship used to be. It’s pretty
amazing that we’re both engaged at the same time. This is the perfect excuse for
us to hang out.

“I was just getting ready to call you,” Mira says, answering my call.

“Great minds, my love.
So, since we’re both geniuses, how about we do lunch tomorrow? Jacoby found this
place that does cake tastings and it should be fun.
Chocolate and champagne.
Nothing better.”

“Cake tastings already?
Have you guys set a date?”

“Jacoby likes the idea of Fall
; I on the other hand, don’t give a shit. I just wanna get married already. I’m
starting to wonder if
I’m
the one wearing the pants in this relationship,” I joke.

Jacoby walks back into the living room, lifting my feet and placing them on his lap.
He presses his strong fingers into the arch of my foot, massaging away all the stress
from the day. I don’t realize how vocal I am until Mira starts freaking out.

“Oh my gosh, Kylee. Are you having sex right now?”

“Because calling you is the first thing I think of when fucking,” I laugh.

“I don’t even wanna know what’s going on over there. Okay, so, before you started
acting out the lead role in Kylee Does Kansas, I don’t know about cake tasting. I’m
not sure if we’re going to be getting married right away. This whole miscarriage
kinda changed things. I need to make sure that he’s in this knowing that I won’t
be able to give him babies and whatnot.”

My heart breaks for her. It seems sometimes the universe works in strange, cruel
ways. Here I am, happy as I’ll ever be with the man of my dreams and a soon-to-be
step daughter that’s the sweetest. And then there’s my best friend, who wants a baby
but can’t have one. Light bulbs start flashing in my brain and I’ve concocted the
perfect plan.

“What if you
could
give him a baby?” I ask. Jacoby pinches my calf and in response and I wave my hand,
signaling him to shush for a second. I’m about to get really, really deep.

“How the hell would I give him a baby? Is Jacoby feeding you drugs or something?
I swear you’re high.”

“Nope, not high.
I have a great idea, but you’re going to have to come with me tomorrow cake testing
for me to tell you.” This is going to play out perfectly. Everyone’s going to be
happy and all that cupcake and rainbow shit.

“Kylee, tell me …” I stop her mid sentence, brushing her off.

“I’ll see you tomorrow. Be ready by eleven. Love you. Bye.” I quickly hang up
my phone before she tries to get another word in. As soon as the call’s disconnected,
I power the phone down. Reaching for Jacoby’s cell, I do the same, already knowing
when she can’t reach me, she’ll try him.