Equity (Balance Sheet #3) (25 page)

There wasn’t time to talk. We were immediately separated as the cops took our statements. I was taken to the kitchen, still shaken from what had happened. I knew though when the EMT workers came, they would be removing a dead body. I saw none of it. I only heard a gurney being wheeled in and out at some point.

I didn’t see but heard officers talking about a video of the incident. It was at that point I was released to go upstairs. Kalen was still with them, and I wondered if he would be cuffed and taken to jail. Then what?

Without anything else to do, I found myself exploring the upstairs on my own. I knew when I found his bedroom. The other rooms I’d come to first were furnished but looked empty. The one I’d ended up in looked lived in with a large metal frame four-poster bed. There were a few other pieces of furniture, but the bed in this one looked like it was used even though it was made up much like the others.

Simple yet elegant modern furniture adorned this room as it did throughout what I’d seen of this apartment. Pretty as it was, it didn’t feel like Kalen’s place. He himself had called it his father’s place. I understood his statement, staring at the frames filled with art that reminded me of the art show at Lizzy’s when Kalen showed up and we played wicked games in public in front of a blob of paint someone passed off as art. This was much the same. The kind of stuff artists passed off to be too deep for the weak minded to understand.

I explored the room and the attached marble bath, ending up in his closet. It wasn’t filled with fifty thousand suits or shoes. In fact the room, which could double as a bedroom without the racks and shelves lining the wall, was mostly empty. Yes, Kalen had a collection of clothes. However, it wasn’t so much that it felt wasteful.

Once I was done, I waited sitting on the bed for Kalen to finally show up. There had been fear in his eyes before the cops separated us. I hadn’t been able to thank him for saving my life. He’d looked haunted. I knew that having killed that Sandy guy wouldn’t bring him peace. I just hoped he would survive the experience.

When he finally came through the door, he looked relieved to see me.

“I didn’t think you’d still be here.”

I met his weary eyes with a fierceness of my own. “Where else would I go?”

That seemed to break through to him. He strode over to me and kneeled before me. He pulled me down the short distance to wrap me in his embrace. He buried his face in my hair. “If he’d hurt you, I would have never forgiven myself.”

He sounded like a man on a ledge, calm and resolute.

“What are you talking about? You saved my life.” I hoped I came through just as steadfast as he had.

“I put you in danger, Lass. You were right. Being near me put you in danger.”

Stanchly, I said, “No! Together, we survived this.”

My fierceness must have gotten through. His next words were, “That reminds me, where did you get your moves?”

I felt the heat in my face. “Matt insisted on teaching Lizzy and me self-defense. He said every woman should know how to get herself out of a bad situation.”

He nodded. “I should have guessed. It looks like I owe him one.”

His eyes still held a sadness that looked eternal.

“You did what you had to do.”

He huffed. His words were thick with his brogue. “You probably think I’m a monster and want nothing to do with me.”

“I want you just the same. In fact, I need you now.”

We both had ghosts we needed to exorcise. I had no idea if people were still in the apartment. It didn’t matter. All that mattered was us.

“What?’ he asked in disbelief.

With my eyes on his green ones, I said, “I need you to bind my hands and make love to me.” Just so he understood me, I added, “I need you to take those memories away with new ones. I need you to make me feel safe.” I knew he needed this as much as I did. I needed him to know I trusted him implicitly.

His head bobbed slightly. His words were barely whispers. “Anything for you.”

There were light touches around my waist, and I felt and heard my zipper slide down. My skirt then succumbed to gravity and pooled at my feet. With gentle hands that had fiercely protected me that night, he unbuttoned my blouse. Fingers barely a whisper on my skin, he shrugged the offending piece of clothing off my shoulders. I was left in a black bra, a swath of fabric labeled panties and a garter belt I’d worn just for him that held up thigh-highs for show. I never wore the latter except I’d planned on surprising him.

“Lass,” he swallowed. “Every time I see you, you take my breath away.”

I stroked his jaw before fisting my hand in his hair, yanking his mouth to mine. “Then kiss me.”

He allowed me the pace of the kiss as he tugged me closer. It didn’t take long for him to remove my bra. Kalen did have magic fingers. His impatience showed when he snapped my thong off. He released the garter belt too with practiced ease. However, my stockings stayed in place, as they hadn’t needed the other garment to do so. He lifted me off my feet and I wrapped my legs around his waist.

“You’re still dressed.”

“We have all night,” he replied.

Gently he laid me on his bed. He stood over me at the edge of the bed and drank me in. His gaze held one of reverence and I never in my life felt so loved.

“You own me, Lass.”

The sound of his belt being released from its buckle did me in. I squirmed on the bed and started to make my way to sitting up.

He caught me by the wrist. “You still want me to bind you?” he asked, searching my eyes.

I nodded my head yes and answered, “I trust you.”

His belt came free and he secured it around my wrist tightly before looping it around to secure my hands. “Just tell me to
stop
or
let you go
and I will.”

I nodded again. Quickly, his pants hit the floor along with his shirt. His body was well defined and I didn’t think I ever saw him like this with the lights on. My mouth watered and I ached to touch him. He didn’t tie me to the bed. I think he knew I wasn’t quite ready for that. But I didn’t move my hands closer to him. It was a test for me to see if I could resist touching him. The anticipation ratcheted up my need.

He spread my legs and stroked once then twice over my clit. My back arched off the bed. Then he took his time and removed each thigh-high with kisses down all the way to my toes and back. After the first leg, he licked my center a few times before working on the other one. I was sure I was dripping wet by the time he finished with my other leg.

There was no hurry in his actions. As bound as I was, this wasn’t a rough fast fucking. He worshiped my body in ways he’d never done before. He gave me one orgasm with his tongue before giving me another with his fingers and mouth. By the time he mounted me between my legs and pushed his thick cock into me, I was loose and languid. I could have been Jell-O for all the body strength I had left. Still I rocked with him as he guided his length inside me with long purposeful strokes. He kissed my mouth, my neck, my breast as he eventually found his own release. All the while, he held one of my bound hands above my head. He showed me that love and trust could overcome all odds.

I didn’t leave his place for several days, calling out sick from work when Monday came. We made plans and I agreed to several things. Violet had been right. And I chose family. I explained to my boss that I was expecting and needed to move to New York to be near family. After not accepting my resignation, we worked out that I would help with the grunt work on some audits while he searched for my replacement. In this day of a paperless society, it was easy to telecommute.

Kalen let me work with a designer to get the new apartment ready. I refused to do it alone so he approved everything I showed him. I was sure his approval was just a formality to make me happy as he never disagreed with any of my choices.

There was also renovation in his current apartment. We didn’t want to remember what happened in his office. There ended up being a total renovation of that section of his apartment, redesigning spaces so that they didn’t resemble anything that was there before. His office became a part of a new half bath and guest room. Once it was complete, no one would be able to tell what part used to be the old office.

Months later, he continued to introduce me as his wife at four events I had to attend as his date.

“Why are you telling everyone I’m your wife?” I’d asked.

“Because one day you’ll agree to be mine.”

After a quick kiss, he tugged my hand as we ascended the stairs to his plane. “Where are you taking me?”

“You’ll see.”

We finally joined the mile high club. I let Kalen tie me up again. The therapist I was seeing thought it was healthy for me to continue to fight against the nightmares, which didn’t come as often anymore. I had to credit Kalen and my therapist for that one.

As per usual, whenever he bound me, our lovemaking was gentle, just shy of sweet. We still had hard and rough sex. I especially loved wall sex, but that was never with my hands tied.

When we landed in Scotland, I was excited to be back. The first time, I hadn’t had a chance to explore. And I planned to do this on our week’s vacation. And I planned to take a trip to Dublin and introduce Ruth, my benefactor, to Kalen. As it turned out, Kalen had a hand in my good fortune. Ruth hadn’t lied. She had already intended on offering me help. The call that she received while talking to me in the café had been from him giving her an offer she couldn’t refuse even though she tried to according to both of them. Kalen had a way of sealing deals, which made him a good businessman. He still wouldn’t tell me what that deal was, but I planned to wear Ruth down when I saw her in person.

Once we pulled up in Moria’s driveway, I noticed a little car that hadn’t been there before.

“That’s my mother’s,” Kalen said before we got to the open doorway where she greeted us.

“I’m so happy you came back,” she said, taking me in a sweeping embrace.

After talking with her for a while, Kalen said, “Take a walk with me.”

I followed him out the back. His mother’s garden was in full bloom. When he stopped me somewhere halfway with the blooms and fragrance surrounding us, he stopped me.

“I never imagined I’d say this to anyone because I never thought this feeling could even exist. You are that person for me,” he began. I knew he was making reference back to his talk to Turner that day that seemed so long ago but wasn’t. “You are the spark that is the flame of my life. You are the reason I want to be a good man. You wanted to know why I’ve called you my wife? It’s because that is what you are in my heart. And it’s not because we have a wee bairn on the way. It’s because I don’t want anyone else. There hasn’t been anyone since we first met. And there will never be anyone other than you. We’ve come a long way since New Year’s Eve.”

He bent on one knee and the tears sprang from my eyes. It was a good thing I wasn’t wearing much makeup because it would have been a mess.

“You are my wife in my heart, but I want you to be my wife in truth. Tell me you’ll honor me by accepting me as your husband.” He too struggled with emotions. His accent had gone full out broguish.

In his eyes, I could see my love reflected back. There wasn’t another man for me either. He’d spoiled me for any other. He was right. Even if I wasn’t pregnant and barely showing, I would have said the same word.

“Yes.”

I paced the halls with my hands clasp as if I was in prayer. I didn’t know what do to or say that would make things right.

Lizzy found me with a humorous grin on her face. “What are you doing out here?”

“She kicked me out,” I said nervously.

Lizzy giggled. “What did she say?”

Absently, staring ahead but not really seeing, I said, “She called me an asshat wanker bawbag cocksucker who did this to her.”

She cracked up, but I saw nothing funny. I couldn’t figure out what to say to make her allow me to come back in to see my child born.

“She’s been hanging out with Griff far too much.”

Finally, I glanced at her. “I know and I’m going to kick his arse for teaching my wife to curse in Gaelic.”

While Lizzy let out another round of snickers, Bailey yelled out. “Is that you, Lizzy? Is that fannie jobbie dobber out there with you?”

“Jobbie, that’s a new one,” Lizzy said to me before yelling back, “He’s out here.” Then she focused on me, “What’s a jobbie?”

“It’s like shite. Something wee bairns might say if they could get away with it.”

“Tell him to get his arse back in here.”

Lizzy’s eyes twinkled. Holding her hand out towards the door, she said, “Get in there, dad.”

Grateful to be back in her good graces, I took my Lass’s hand just as the doctor said, “Just one more push.”

“You said that the last time,” she yelled as she bore down just like the nurse told her too. She crushed my hand and I wondered at the Lass’s strength.

Her eyes met mine as pain lanced through her. “We are never doing this again.”

I nodded, not wanting to speak. I may have said the wrong thing and be dismissed. She’d already threatened to call a lawyer to ask for a divorce, citing cruel and unusual punishment. The nurses and doctor all had a good laugh, but they hadn’t seen the determination in her eye.

When a wail let out, Bailey let my hand go. I watched in wonder as the lungs on that wee babe defied its size.

“Looks like you have a son.”

We’d chosen to wait to find out what we were having, or rather Bailey had. I just went along for the ride. A son. I bent over and kissed my Lass before he was placed in her arms.

“Awe, look at little Kalen Jeremey.” We decided at her urging to name him after me. I agreed, but switched the order of our names. “And we’ll call him Jeremey.”

We’d agreed to that as well. Only people who didn’t know me well called me Jeremy. So in our house, we would be called by different names.

When she held him out for me to hold, I looked in his light blue eyes with a hint of green. I pushed back the tiny blue and pink striped hat to see what I’d noticed before. He had a tiny crop of dark red hair.

“My son,” I said, amazed for the second time. “Your big sister Corrine is at home with both your grandmothers and aunts.”

I’d thought Corrine had stolen my heart for a second time. Looking at my son, I knew I had room for a third. Nothing in my life had been the same since Bailey Glicks, now Bailey Glenn, had rocked my world in a hotel bathroom. And there was nothing I would change, even all the bad, because out of that I came to appreciate the good.

When my son let out a tiny yawn, I thought I’d be prepared for the swell in my chest the second go around. I wasn’t any more than I’d been the first time.

“And we’re so doing this again, right honey?” I stared at my wife before nodding. Whatever she wanted.

She’d given me everything I needed. She became my wife that same week I’d asked her to marry me. I’d flown out her family and friends. With the power of the euro, they were outfitted in tuxes and custom dresses. Her family willingly donned the secular clothing and participated in the wedding. Lizzy, Violet and Mary stood for her. While Griff and, shockingly, my new friends Matt and Turner stood for me.

During the reception, I’d gotten a stern talking to from Jacob, Bailey’s da, about getting his daughter pregnant. In the same breath, I was praised for being a man and taking responsibility for my action. He also warned me that Bailey, like all his daughters, was his heart. If I hurt hers, I would be hurting his. I knew that was his way of letting me know he’d hunt me down and take care of things if that happened. Once I looked into my daughter Corrine’s eyes, I truly understood his meaning.

After she was born with a shock of black hair and eyes like her mother, we had her tested. Turner graciously accepted defeat, which he had months before or maybe he might not have been at the wedding or at least in the wedding party. The test was done at Bailey’s insistence so that there would never be a question. I’d already known. And my daughter had me wrapped around her two-year-old fingers. It was a good thing my pockets ran deep, because if she asked me to buy her the moon, I’d buy a rocket too in order to plant a flag on the surface, promptly renaming it
Corrine’s moon
.

Lizzy, our bairn’s godmother, came in and watched over our son as I sat next to my wife. I heard Griff, proud godfather, in the hall ranting, “Where is the wee dude? His Uncle Griff needs to start his lessons about chasing the wee lasses, starting with these nurses.”

I focused on Bailey. It wasn’t often we were somewhat alone for any amount of time. And I knew it would be a long time until we had even more private moments. She had come a long way since she’d been kidnapped. Kevin had been found guilty of all charges related to the embezzlement and kidnapping along with his accomplice. They both were being put away for a very long time. She no longer winced when I bound her and had my way with her. In fact, she begged for me to take her harder and faster the last few times. Still, there was something I needed to say.

“Remember when we first met?”

Her eyes had been closing and I felt bad for not letting her sleep. She focused on me, interested in what I had to say.

“Yeah.”

“I hadn’t come alone that night.”

Her irises became pinpoints. “And you’re telling me this now… why?” Her words were slow and punctuated. Then her eyes quickly narrowed. “You’re telling me because I’m drugged, right?”

I winced. “Maybe, but I need to say this.”

She sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly, reminiscent of the exercises she’d learned in the birthing class the first go around.

Quickly, I let loose the words that coiled in my chest before she kicked me out again. “I’d come with Kinsey.”

Her head fell back and she stared at the ceiling as if she were searching for patience. “So you were seeing her then?”

“We were friends.”

Her eyes turned to slits as if to say don’t lie to me.

“Okay, buddies.”

“Fuck buddies,” she said in a cold flat tone.

“We were friends. We decided that we were better friends long before,” I amended, again not wanting to get off track. “She’d gone off to do her thing and left me. Many women came by as I stood by the bar, but a certain redhead had me mesmerized.”

The grim set to her mouth changed to a faint smile. I continued. “I wasn’t used to chasing women. Either they were bold enough to approach me or their friends would take up the slack. I watched you for a long time. You even glanced my way a few times. You didn’t come. Your blonde friend didn’t come over either. When a tall guy headed in the direction of the display that you and Lizzy were putting on, I got to my feet. I hadn’t known what I was going to do, but I knew I wasn’t going to let him get to you if you were his target.”

I exhaled a breath after that barrage of words. “Lucky for him, he moved to dance behind Lizzy. And there I was, less than two feet away. I couldn’t stop myself. I took your hips and pulled you back against the hardness you created. When you moved your lovely arse to create pressure, I thought I’d come in my pants like a wee lad.”

She just watched me as I gave her my confession.

“Before you turned around in my arms, I knew I had to have you. When you looked up at me, I didn’t see dollar signs in your eyes. I didn’t see the star struck look some women get. I saw you looking like you were enjoying my company. I saw a connection of something. I ignored it in favor of the heady lust brewing between us. I thought,
let me just fuck her and I’ll forget her.
”

Her mouth parted some. I knew that our love could stand some truths.

“When you let me have you that night, I was sure I could forget you. Even after you ran off without giving me your name or number, I thought for just a second,
Good, I don’t have to give her the brush-off
. To my shock, I found myself chasing after you, only for you to have gotten away.”

I took her hand, which she reluctantly let me have.

“That next night I was courting a potential investor. I’d planned to fuck her, but not to sway her to sign the deal. She’d already hinted she wanted me. She was attractive enough, I figured it could be a celebration of sorts after she signed on the line.”

“I thought she was a business associate?” Bailey asked, trying to take her hand back, but I wouldn’t let her go.

“An investor is a business associate,” I said, feeling derailed by her glare. I glanced away. I’d already committed to that path. I just had to get to the finish line. “I’d been plagued with thoughts of you all the night before. I thought, if I fuck this girl maybe I would forget about you.”

“Did you fuck her?” Bailey crudely asked. She was pissed. I tried not to let it influence me from finishing.

“Then I saw you, and I had a flicker that fate was playing games with me. I mean, what were the odds that in New York I would ever see you again? Worse, you were with that dobber. This irrational caveman emotion came over me. I wanted to go over there and toss you over my shoulder and beat my chest while saying
mine
.”

Her hand relaxed some from its punishing grip.

“You didn’t answer the question,” she complained.

I continued to ignore her. “I kept you in my sights, wanting to talk to you. Like destiny was playing cupid, you decided to go to the restroom. I hadn’t known up to that point how I planned to approach you until then.”

“And,” she said while I took a breath.

“You know what happened. I basically told you to come see me the next night.”

“And the business associate?” she said through gritted teeth.

“I didn’t touch her.” At her disbelieving look, I said, “Except to remove her hand form my barely responding dick. I dropped her straight off at her hotel.”

She rolled her eyes. I pressed on. “When you showed up that next day, that was it for me. You know the rest, except that if you’d gone off with Turner, I would have had to become a monk. For me and for my cock, you were the only one. I’d never in my life been so attracted, blindside by another woman.”

My hormonal wife, who’d given birth to my two beautiful bairns, sobbed, “I love you.”

I kissed away her tears. “And I you, mo ghràdh. You give me reasons to draw breath. Corrine and Jeremy give me reasons to live. And the three of you give me hope for the future.”

“Mo ghràdh?” she questioned, actually doing a good job with the pronunciation even through the hitch in her voice.

“It means,
my love
,” I said. “There’s no reason to cry.”

“As if…” she said while I wiped away her tears.

“I tell you these things so you will know, for as long as I live there won’t ever be another woman. I’ll never stray. I’m yours.”

She began to cry in earnest. With the pads of my thumbs, I tried my best to dry them. After kissing them and her mouth, I said, “And one more thing.”

That caught her attention. I didn’t wait. I hoped she was still in a favorable mood. She hated my money and didn’t like to spend it. She complained that she wanted our kids not to be spoiled and think that they could have anything without working for it. “I thought maybe we could buy a house outside the city.” I saw her stubborn chin begin to jut up. “We could stay in the city during the week and spend the weekends in a place where the kids can run and play outside. I could teach them football.”

She frowned. “What do you know about football?”

I kissed her forehead because there wasn’t a way I couldn’t touch her. “I’m not talking about American football.” She knew I was referring to soccer. I loved to tease her about the absurdity of the American name for their game of football. I’d come to know how much she’d been teased about it in Dublin. So I continued on with the tradition.

“Okay.” She gave in, waving off the discussion of football. “On the house,” she clarified. “Only if—,”

“Anything,” I offered.

“That we buy a house in Scotland too.”

My grin couldn’t have gotten any broader. This woman got me, had me. She held my heart and could utterly destroy me. Still, I trusted her unreservedly. The scales were balanced. Or as was said in her accounting world, our balance sheet was perfect. We had far more assets than we would ever have liabilities. The difference of the two was our unshakable partnership based on rock solid equity that would last until the end of our time.