Erased (20 page)

I bite my lip because he’s so incredibly sexy all sprawled out on the bed in nothing but a pair of black boxer briefs and his glasses. The laptop is perched on his lap covering up his only clothing, making him look completely naked.

“Yep,” I reply as I peel off my nightgown.

His eyes remain glued to his screen. “And your computer?”

I slide my panties down my legs. “Yep.”

“We’ll leave at daybreak so we can make it there at a decent hour.” He’s all business and completely distracted.

I miss our connection that seems to have disappeared the moment he set eyes on those men. At that point, Slade became obsessed with protecting me. Because of that, I ended up spending the entire evening locked away in that office until I heard the sound of the alarm beeping, indicating that he’d closed up and everyone had gone home. Even in the dark bar, he attempted to sneak me upstairs just in case anyone was peeking in the windows.

I feel trapped again.

A burden.

And while actually trapped in that dark office, my mind swirled with ideas of how my dad and Slade knew each other. He has yet to offer up that information, and I’ve been too chicken to ask him again. I want my sexy lover back—the man who seems hell-bent on tasting every inch of my body. Not this warrior. It was a brief flash, but I saw the words emblazoned on his gun.

Warrior.

I want Derek back.

Prowling over to him and crawling onto the bed, I attempt to distract him. I want to get find what we had.

“Derek,” I purr as I slide my hands around the laptop.

His eyes finally lift and the serious man disappears as my lover rejoins me. Heat floods his eyes as they skitter down my naked tits. Then I snap the laptop closed and lean over to the nightstand to set it down.

“My kitten. So soft and sexy,” he growls as he hauls me to him.

He rolls us over so that I’m pinned beneath him and begins kissing me as if at any moment I might disappear from his arms. My kisses are just as frantic as his. We both seem to require the other as we would air, and our bodies become a tangled mess of flesh and limbs. Finally, his hand manages to squeeze between us and pull his boxers down enough to get his cock out. When he pushes himself into me and stills, I moan in need. His eyes are almost black now when he rocks purposefully into me as if he’s discovered a way to mold us into one person.

Earlier today, we fucked in his office, but what we’re doing now is different. He’s searching my eyes for something, and I sure as hell hope he finds what he is looking for.

“You’ll never get away from me, Cupcake. I’ll always protect you no matter what.”

My heart fills with an emotion so strong that it brings tears to my eyes. It’s an emotion I never came close to feeling with Kent.

“Always?” I murmur as my body tenses up with an orgasm.

Thrust. Kiss. Growl. Explosion.

“Always,” he whispers as we both submit to our ecstasy.

I believe that he will.

After I clean myself up and turn the lights off, I attempt to snuggle right back underneath him—where I feel the safest. As I drift to sleep, my mind ponders if those men were truly after me which makes me feel guilty that I kept Jack at arm’s length. He is a good guy unlike those men. I could have been more than friends with him had Slade not been entrusted with my care. Right now, I could be cuddled with Jack.

It wouldn’t be the same.

It would be like Kent.

Jack, like Kent, wouldn’t crush me with his sleeping self. Jack, like Kent, wouldn’t be able to make my body disobey my mind and submit to the sleeping bear in my arms. Jack, like Kent, would have treated me like a normal guy treats a normal girl.

Unlike Slade.

Joss could have loved Jack.

But Jill couldn’t because she loves someone else.

Slade, with his explosive personality and unmatched passion, somehow seems perfect for me—the Joss-and-Jill combo I’ve become. He brings out an edge I never knew I had and I soften the brutally sharp sword that is him.

We belong together.

Forever.

On that thought, I drift into sweet dreams of white churches, swollen bellies, and Derek Slade.

“You’re a good Jossy girl,” Bruce coos.

Jossy girl.

“She’ll never play piano again, William. Are you sure you want to make that decision for your sweet daughter?”

Excruciating pain slices through me as Bruce snaps my finger like a twig with the pliers. Horrifying, otherworldly screams tear from me as he rips my finger right from my hand. I have no finger. And then he begins on the next finger in line . . .

I wake myself from sobbing in my sleep, but I almost cry out in relief when I realize Slade’s heavy arm has me pinned. I’m safe. Protected.

I’m about to dry my tears and submit to the sleep that threatens to pull me back under when he murmurs his reassurance in my ear.

“I’ve got you, Joss.”

My heart stops for a brief moment. “
I’ve got you, Joss.”

He knows my name.

Of course he does, idiot. He works for your father.

“I’ve got you, Joss.”

I’m J. Cupcake. Kitten. Baby. Sweetheart. Beautiful. But to Slade . . .

I am
not
Joss.

“
I’ve got you, Joss.”

His words are a dagger straight to my heart. I know those words. I know that voice. The terrifying events from the night I was taken flood my brain in a rush, and suddenly, my skin grows cold. I can’t fucking breathe.

I’ve got you, Joss.

The man who stole me straight from my bed was rough. Serious. All business. He took me from my life. He took everything from me. And then, at the last minute, he intervened.

But he took you!

My life is wiped clean because of him. My social security number doesn’t exist because of him. My boyfriend went to my fucking funeral because of him.

Dad knows.

The other part of my heart shudders as it breaks too. All lies. They all fucking lied to me. The rage in my heart threatens to tear apart my chest. I need to get the fuck away from him.

Slade is protecting you.

I’ll protect myself. I’m clearly the only person I can trust.

Gideon is Derek Slade. Gideon was a fucking warrior. God, I am so stupid. He flashed that damn gun with “warrior” proudly displayed on the side and I shrugged it off. What bar owner carries a sleek weapon with the fucking word “warrior” on the side?

A warrior.

A criminal.

A fucking bad guy who takes women from their homes in the middle of the night.

A destroyer.

A man who sleeps with the woman he is to protect when she should be protected from him not by him.

Dad knows.

I can’t get the sick thought out of my head. A friendly, safe face pops into my mind. A face Slade was dead set on keeping me from. Sick bastard. I’ll call him to get me away from here.

Feeling as if I may suffocate under a man I cannot stand to be touching, I slide carefully out from underneath him. His soft snores never cease as I crawl out of bed. And with every second that Joss’s heart dies, Jill’s becomes harder.

I’ll protect myself.

SOMETHING’S NOT RIGHT.

Unease slithers down my spine as I reach out to pull Joss into my arms.

Joss.

The sheets are empty, cool like they haven’t been occupied for hours.

Joss.

“I’ve got you, Joss.”

I called her Joss.

As a memory slams into me, I jackknife up in bed. Then I glance wildly around the room, looking for any sign that she’s still here.

“Baby?” I yell as I scramble out of bed.

I grab a pair of pants, tossing them on before running across the hall to the other bedroom, only it find it empty. My heart is frozen in my chest.

“Cupcake?”

But the door is already open and I can see that her luggage is gone.
Fuck!

No! No! No!

I know it’s futile, but I can’t help hoping that I’m reading the situation wrong. While making a mad dash throughout the entire building, I check every possible place.

But it’s no use. She’s gone.

I fight to stay upright, grabbing the wall for support as agony rips through my chest. But, she’s out there alone, in more danger than she realizes. I don’t have time to deal with my pain. So after getting dressed, I retrieve my gun from the top drawer of the nightstand and thunder down the stairs to my office.

I quickly round the desk and sit in the chair, unlocking and opening the top drawer while waiting for my computer to boot up. Then I check to make sure the weapon is fully loaded before I reach for the bullets and extra magazine stored in the drawer. Last, I grasp the leather pouch.

After pulling the medallion out, I clench it in my fist.

St. Gideon.

He freed the people of Israel, a valiant warrior in the name of God. But there is nothing righteous about my past. Nothing redeemable about me. I didn’t even protect her as I should have.

Anger flushes my skin when I think about how I slept right through her leaving. Nobody has ever been able to sneak up on—or out on—Gideon. The problem is, with Joss, I was no longer Gideon. I was no longer an emotionless mercenary. Instead, I am Derek Slade. And she is the reason I look at myself and see even the smallest spark of goodness and decency. She is the reason I feel. The reason I live.

When I clench my fist tighter, the medal bites into my skin. I can feel the terror shredding the walls around my heart, and I can’t pretend I have no emotions anymore. I can’t pretend I am not desperately in love with her.

She. Is. Everything.

I will keep her safe no matter what. Even if it means losing her. Because the only way to save her is to become Gideon—the hardened mercenary—once again. The destroyer. The warrior. I will save her. I’m just not sure I’ll be able to save myself.

Joss will never forgive me for what I’ve done, and without her, I have no one to break through the walls I am currently resurrecting. No one to help me find my way back to Derek Slade.

After strapping on my holster, I grab my leather jacket and keys. I’m ready to walk out the door as soon as I know where I’m going. But first, I have to figure out where the hell she went.

On the computer, I pull up my encrypted files, looking for a number I’ve buried in a mess of useless information. Once I find it, I take out my cell, slip my Bluetooth headset on my ear, and punch in the numbers. Before hitting send, I open up another program and run Ivory Trace, a GPS/locator program, on Joss’s laptop. William created the unique GPS locator for her computer and a corresponding program to be able to track it. Unfortunately, the computer has to be on or in sleep mode to track. I’ve drilled it into her to keep it charged and never turn it off.

I know my next step is to call her father. Normally, I wouldn’t give a rat’s ass, but I don’t look forward to the confession that will accompany the phone call. No one, no matter how emotionless they might be, wants to admit to fucking a man’s daughter. Especially considering the circumstances surrounding how I came to be the one protecting her.