Eraser Platinum (4 page)

“You walked away, Nate.  I don’t take kindly to ultimatums.”

“But if you had listened properly, you’d know it wasn’t meant to be like that.”

“What do you mean?”

“I love you.  I told you to find me when you were ready to talk things through.  You need to let me in.  You need to decide to be open with me if this is to work between us.”

“What?”  Mackenzie couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

“You’re too closed off.  When it comes to the heavy stuff you just shut down.  You pushed me away.  You tried to end this, not me.  You turned down my proposal then told me there was nothing left to say, but there is.  I need answers, Mack.”

She started crying, the use of her nickname did her in.  She was also relieved – He still loved her.  He left to give her the space to figure things out.  She looked back at the open drawer and stared at the black box through blurry eyes.

“Are you at your place?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“Then open it.”

“How did you-”

“Just open it, Mackenzie.”

She tentatively pulled out the box and slowly lifted the lid.  She took a closer look and gasped.  It was a key.  Attached to the key was a large platinum keychain, twisted metal in the shape of an infinity symbol.  Her heart skipped a beat.

“I got rid of the apartment because I’ve moved into the house permanently.  That night at
Délicieux
I wanted to ask you to join me.”  He added quietly, “I still want that.”

Then the line went dead.  He’d hung up on her.

She flopped back on the bed and clutched the key to her rapidly beating chest, her thoughts traveling a millions miles an hour.

Mackenzie jumped at the sound of someone banging loudly on her front door.  She ran to it half-expecting to see Nate on the other side, even though she knew it wasn’t possible to get from the house to her apartment in such a short space of time.  When she swung the door open she was surprised to find Tom standing there.

“Are you alright?” he asked, with concern.

“Yes.  Sorry, I was about to call you.”  She moved aside so Tom could enter the apartment. “Nate’s okay too.”

“Yeah I know.  He called me to apologize for getting Hilda to lie for him.  I guess you made him feel guilty,” he said, closing the door and giving her a wry smile. “That’s not why I’m here though.  I came over because I was worried about you.”

“
Me?
”

“Yes
you
.  I don’t know what’s going on between you and my brother, but if you haven’t spoken for a week and he’s getting drunk, missing work and suddenly giving up his apartment, it must be fucking serious.”

She opened her mouth to respond but Tom waved her off.

“I don’t need the details, Mack.”  He put his hands on both her shoulders and bobbed his head down so that they were eye to eye.  “I just need to know that you’re okay.”

“I am.”  She started to cry again as she looked into his concerned dark eyes so similar to his brother’s.  “Or I will be.”

“Hey, hey, why are you crying then?”  He pulled her in for a hug.

“I just … I wasn’t expecting you to …”

“What?”

“Care, I guess,” she admitted, feeling silly.

“You’re practically my sister, of course I care.”

“Thank you.”  She sniffed and buried her head in his chest.  He rubbed her back soothingly.  She allowed herself to give in to the comfort for a moment before pulling from Tom’s embrace.  She rubbed the tears from her eyes.  “Oh god.”  She sniffed.  “You Pierce men have turned me into the biggest fucking sook!”  She laughed and straightened her stance.

“Do you need me to kick his ass?” Tom offered, giving her a cheeky smile.

“I’ll take a raincheck on that ass kicking,” she giggled, “but you can help me with something.”

“Name it.”

Nate drained his glass of scotch and poured himself another.  He was mentally kicking himself for what he’d said in that phone call.  Once again he’d yielded and divulged his feelings when he hadn’t intended to.  The whole reason he’d walked away from her last Saturday night was to get her to admit
her
true feelings.  He wanted Mackenzie to see her future with him.  As glad as he was she’d finally called, he was mad, too.  He’d been waiting for her to contact him and beg him to come back to her, because
she
wanted it.  Not chase him down because his brother was worried. 
Fuck!
  When it came to her, his feelings were always so foreign and constantly thrown into chaos, but at least
he
knew what he wanted.

Maybe that morning instead of blurting out a ‘marry me’ he should have stuck to his original plan and asked her to move in.  Would she have said yes to living with him instead?  Or would they be in this mess regardless?  He hated questioning himself.  Mackenzie had brought so much uncertainty into his life.  He wasn’t used to it.  At work, he made decisions and jobs got done.  He was never questioned and he rarely doubted his choices.  But with Mackenzie things were never simple.

“Nathaniel, you have a visitor,” Hilda said from the doorway to the sitting room.  Hilda gave him a knowing look and a satisfied grin before she walked away.  She’d worked for him for almost ten years so, without him having to say a word, she knew exactly what Mackenzie meant to him.  Nate wasn’t at all surprised to find a sheepish looking Mackenzie step through the doorway after Hilda’s facial expression and quick exit. 

He stubbed out his cigarette and stood from the lounge chair.  He swayed a little when he took a step toward her.  His vision was unfocused, too.  He hadn’t realized exactly how intoxicated he was until that moment.

“What are you doing here?” he asked.

“You said you wanted me to join you … so here I am.” 

“How did you get here?”

“Tom dropped me off.”

“Of course he did.”  Nate frowned and swayed.

“Maybe you should sit back down.”

“I’m fine!”  He glared at her.

“Sit down anyway.  We need to talk Nate.”

Mackenzie didn’t care that he was clearly drunk, she was going to say her piece and he was going to listen.  She watched him back into the lounge seat.  His eyes taking her in, caressing her body with heat and desire as she walked toward him.

“Take your clothes off,” he demanded suddenly.

Mackenzie laughed at his random drunken comment, and yet, desire coursed through her body at his heated stare.  “Nate, we need to talk not have sex.”

“I disagree.  We need both.”

Mackenzie ignored him and sat on the adjacent sofa.  She took a deep breath and stared at him a moment, contemplating whether she should wait until he was sober.  But when his eyes focused on hers expectantly she realized that he was willing to listen and regardless of the alcohol in his system he would take it all in.

“I need to explain a few things to you Nate, so you understand why my answer was no.”

He sucked in a deep breath, his focus moved past her with a blank stare.

Here goes. 
“My parents got married young and only because my Mom fell pregnant with me.”
 
It was her turn for a breath. She needed to get this out if they had any chance of moving forward.
 
“Their relationship was never good and by the time I was five their marriage was over.  When Dad left, Mom suddenly had to find work.  A job meant she made new friends and gained independence and I was constantly thrown into the care of babysitters.  At age twenty-four, she was a single mom with a kid about to start school and was going through a divorce, wondering what the hell happened with her life.  I was only little I didn’t understand it at the time but as I got older I saw it clearly; I was a hindrance to her.  She’d gotten her life back and she no longer had the time for me.  Dad was going through the same thing, life was one big party to him, the last thing he wanted was a kid getting in the way of that.”

Nate’s eyes softened.  “I’m sorry Mackenzie.”

“For the next ten years, I barely saw my dad – a couple of times a year at most.  When he eventually settled down and got married again, we reconnected, but when that marriage fell apart we lost touch again for the most part.  He has two kids with some other woman I barely know and, last I heard, he seemed happy enough, but he moved on with his life, without me.  I have never really been a part of it.  I haven’t spoken to him in four years now.

“Mom remarried too.  Jack was his name and he was a decent enough guy, he stepped up and took over the role of father in my life.  But when I was thirteen he caught Mom cheating on him.  After the divorce he tried to be there for me, but I reminded him too much of my mom and what he’d lost … eventually he was gone, too.  Growing up, Mom and I co-existed.  We weren’t a family.  Now we both get along okay, we tolerate each other, but deep down she resents me and the path her life took because of me.”

Nate moved to kneel at Mackenzie’s feet.  He brushed the hair from her face and the tears from her cheeks.  She hadn’t even realized she was crying.  He looked up at her with eyes so full of love and sympathy that Mackenzie’s tears began to flow even harder.

“I’m so sorry, Mackenzie, I had no idea.  I should have asked you about your family before now.”

“It wouldn’t have mattered.  I wouldn’t have told you.  Nate, this past week without you has been torture.  After I spoke to you earlier, and you clarified a few things, I got to thinking.  I understand what you meant about me not opening up.  I’ve never told anyone about my family and it seems silly now to have hidden that from you.  All this time I’ve gone on about honesty and I’ve never truly been honest with you, or myself for that matter.”  His fingers stroked her cheek and his palm cupped her chin.  “I obviously have commitment issues.  Both of my parents have been divorced twice … they have never even been committed to me, their daughter.”  She sniffed and looked him in the eye.  “Can you understand now?  Can you understand why I don’t want that life?”

“That wouldn’t be our life, Mackenzie.  I want to marry you because I love you, because I want to spend the rest of my life making you happy, not out of obligation.  I want to have children with you and I promise I would be one hundred percent committed to them, too.  Our marriage would be nothing like your parent’s,
we
would make it work.”

Mackenzie shook her head.  “You may think that now, but I’m the product of my parents.  I have the same issues as them, I’m not built for marriage or motherhood.  I’d only mess it up.”

Nate hauled himself up onto the sofa and pulled Mackenzie into his lap.  He squeezed her close to his chest and buried his nose in her hair.  Breathing her in, he wondered why he hadn’t pressed her earlier for information on her family.  He felt like a fool for not realizing that’s where her issues would stem from.  The only backstory he knew was what that stupid file held and the small pieces she had offered:  She was an only child and wasn’t close to her family.  With her upbringing it was no wonder she wasn’t keen on the idea of marrying him, particularly when they’d only been together for a few months.

“Can’t we just be together without all of that stuff?” Mackenzie asked against his chest.

“Of course.  Of course we can.” 
For now, at least.

Mackenzie turned in his arms and whispered in his ear.  “I’ve missed you.”

“Fuck, I’ve missed you, too.”  He kissed her lips and then tugged on the hem of her sweater.  “I need to feel you Mackenzie. It’s been a week and I need you.”  He kissed her again.  “Skin to skin.”  He laughed when he took in her expression.  “I just want to hold you.”

“Only hold me?”  She smirked at him.  “We both know where that will lead.” 

“We do indeed,” he muttered, pulling her from the room.  They walked hand in hand out into the foyer where Nate stopped when he spotted two big suitcases by the door.  He looked at Mackenzie with a raised brow.

“Well, you did say you wanted me here.”  She smiled at him.  “Don’t look so surprised.”  She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in for a lingering kiss.  “I must ask though with all the staff you seem to have here, will I ever need my key?”

“It’s more of a symbolic gesture I suppose.”

“You suppose?” she asked cheekily.

He answered her with a smirk of his own before pulling her hard against him and pressing his lips to hers.  He swept his tongue leisurely through her mouth and she instantly felt weak with lust.  With both hands cupping her ass and his erection pressing into her lower stomach, he pulled his head and shoulders back to look down on her, his eyes dark with desire.

He watched the pupils of her jade eyes go wide. 
God, I love this woman!
  The feel of her body encased in his arms and pressed against him made him feel so at home, so at peace.  This is exactly how they belonged.  Together.  And now that she’d agreed to move in with him his mind was set with even more determination – she would be his wife.  He would convince her, of that he had no doubt.

“Ms. Reed, get your ass up those stairs.”  He removed his arms from around her so that he could collect the two massive suitcases she had brought with her.  “Damn, these are heavy,” he complained, trailing her, unable to wipe the smile from his face.

“What did you expect?  I packed as much clothing as I could into the only suitcases I own,” she said over her shoulder as she climbed the stairs.  “And, thanks to you, that’s not even half of it.”

He kept an eye on her ass as she took each step. 
Yep, I will make her my wife. 
When they reached his-
our-
room she turned to him and smiled.
 
He stepped closer, and quietly, and determinedly, repeated his words from earlier, “Take your clothes off.”

This time she didn’t hesitate to obey.  Desire warmed her entire body as she pulled off her sweater and unbuttoned her jeans.  She stepped out of her shoes, slowly tugged her jeans down and kicked them aside, before straightening and unclipping her bra.  She dangled it from her fingers for a moment before dropping it to the floor.  She had nearly always been confident in the bedroom, but never more so than when she was with Nate.  The way his eyes ate up every one of her moves …

“Stop.”

“What?”  She paused, her fingers tucked into the edge of her panties.

He sauntered closer and pushed her hands away.  “It’s been a while since I’ve had the pleasure of tearing sexy underwear from your body.”

“Well then, don’t let me stop you,” she said, grinning and spreading her arms wide in invitation.

“As if you ever would.”

“Always such a cocky bastard!”

His eyes faltered for a second and Mackenzie saw how much pain she had caused him this past week.  “Not always,” he said softly.

Regret filled her body and mind.  She opened her mouth to apologize but quickly shut it again when she was roughly pulled forward.  She stumbled slightly as a large tearing sound filled the room.  Her ruined underwear fell to the floor and was replaced by Nate’s warm hands.  He stroked her ass before grabbing hold of it and hoisting her into his arms.  Her legs wrapped around his waist.  Their eyes locked and a second later, so did their lips.

He kissed her with a new determination.  Her mouth seared his when she kissed him back fervently.  Taking a few steps to the bed, he placed her on it, covering her with his body.  His hands caressed her as their kisses became more passionate.  He moaned into her mouth before pulling back to remove his clothes.  She immediately sat up to help him, making quick work of getting the bottom half of his body naked while he did the top.  She fisted his cock and looked up at him with those wondrous eyes before sucking him into her mouth.  It wasn’t long before he was taking over, thrusting through her lips, giving her it all. 

“
Fuck!
  Stop.”  As much as he loved what she could do with her mouth he had to stop her or he would be coming down her throat in a few more seconds.  He pulled her back by gently tugging her hair.  “I need to be inside you.”

She nodded then quickly scooted up the bed until her head rested on the pillows.  Nate followed and she stared at him in contemplation for a moment before grabbing his hand and pushing it between her legs.  She moved it further until his finger touched her puckered hole.