His eyes mirrored his anguish, but he didn’t let her see them. Her words were like a knife through his body.
He lifted the cigar to his mouth with determination, and he didn’t look at her.
She knew what he was saying with that deliberate silence. He was telling her that she was special to him, but not special enough. She could have his friendship, his support, his affection. But that was all. He had nothing else to offer her.
“You don’t want to get married,” she said after a minute.
He hesitated. “That’s right,” he said at last. “I don’t. And you would.”
His eyes closed, and all his muscles clenched. He could a
lmost feel her, like that…
“It would be good,” she said, tight-lipped.
“Too good,” he rasped. His eyes opened, tormented. “Neither of us would ever get over it.”
“Josh,” she whispered, “I lo—”
His hand slid quickly, gently, over her mouth. “You and I will always have each other, even if it isn’t in quite
such a physical way,” he said, cutting off the incriminating confession. “We’ll forget what happened on the other island, and here,” he added firmly. His eyes punctuated that determination. “It was my fault. The way things stand, I had no right to touch you.”
“I don’t understand.”
“You will, one day,” he promised.
She looped her arms around her updrawn knees. “Are you still my friend?”
“The best one you have,” he replied quietly.
“Okay.
”
She watched the progress of a sea gull across the sky. “I’ll go home and back to work. T
hank you for letting me stay.”
“I think you know that I enjoyed it as much as you did. But it’s past time to get back to reality. We’ve been dreaming, Amanda. Both of us. Dreams are like clouds. The first strong wind can scatter them.”
She turned toward him, her expression one of subdued curiosity. “What do you dream of?” she asked.
His dark eyes dropped to hers, and in them was such pain that she caught her breath. “Don’t ask,” he said. “Don’t ever ask.”
He got up abruptly. “Bring the cups, will you? I’ve got to try to track down Brad. He’s overstaying that business trip.”
“All right.” She picked up the cups and followed him back to the house. The memory she’d hoped to take away with her wasn’t the one she would pack with her aspirations. It looked as if she might get her wish about the job press. The one about Josh, though, was as empty as the cups in her hand.
* *
* * *
J
osh flew to Jamaica. He didn’t find Brad, who was off with some young woman, according to a clerk at the hotel desk. He did find the group of businessmen with whom Brad had been hobnobbing, though. They were gathered in the lounge with their wives. When one of the women turned toward him, he recognized Terri.
There had been a time when
the voluptuous brunette had made his pulses dance with a glance. Now, with the hunger for Amanda that he carried with him, Terri was not a threat to his senses any longer. She was just the wife of a business acquaintance. He laughed inwardly, considering how much he’d changed.
With a lazy smile, he took her outstretched hand when she approached him. “Look what the wind blew in,” she mused gently as he bent to kiss her fingers with old-world courtesy. “What brings you to Jamaica?”
“I’m trying to find my brother,” he replied easily. “He seems to have vanished.”
“He’s found a new conquest,” she told him, smiling. “Leave it to Brad, right?” She turned and looked over her shoulder, motioning to a short, dark-haired man. “Josh,” she said, sliding her arm around the newcomer, “you remember Nicos Mikapoulis, don’t you? He’s my husband now?”
Josh shook hands and smiled. “Yes. I read about the wedding, along with the rest of the world. Congratulations.”
“Thank you.” Nicos gazed at his wife possessively. “I am a fortunate man. Your brother and I had a long talk last night,” he added. “I am seriously considering his proposal.”
Josh was impressed. It appeared that his little brother deserved his day off. He and Nicos discussed the details that Brad had already covered, then Nicos went to get another drink, leaving Josh alone with Terri momentarily.
Terri’s dark head tilted to one side. “I understand Amanda’s staying with you,” she commented. “It was a shame about her father. Is she coping well?”
“I think so,” he replied. He sipped his ginger ale. He never indulged in liquor at business meetings. “It’s been rough on her.”
“I don’t doubt it. There was a lot of unfinished business between Amanda and her father. That always makes mourning more difficult.” She searched his eyes and for a moment, hers were soft with memory.
“Sort of like us. But now…
Nic
os and I…
well, I think I’m pregnant,” she said hesitantly.
His face showed no reaction at all, but his eyes darkened just faintly. “Are you? Congratulations. I’m sure Nicos is pleased.”
“We both are. It’s what I’ve always wanted.” She was uncomfortable and looked it “I really did care about you. It’s just that I wanted something more.”
“I know that. No hard feelings.”
“Of course not,” she said honestly, her eyes quiet and haunted. “I’ll always want you,” she murmured. “Perhaps that’s my punishment.” She gave him a smile that was a little too bright. “He’s good to me, though. I’ll never cheat on him.”
“That will make him a very fortunate man,” Josh said. “I saw enough raw, careless passion when I was a kid. If I’d married, I couldn’t have lived like that. Fidelity should be part of marriage.”
“Yes.” She fingered her drink. “It’s a waste,” she added wistfully. “To look like you do and not want to get married and have a family.”
“I am married,” he reminded her. “To my business.”
She sighed. “Yes. You always were. Are you going to stay for a day or so? Nicos and I have no plans for this evening
…
”
“I have to fly back to the cay,” he replied. “Brad’s done a good job here. I won’t infringe on his territory. I just wanted to put in an appearance. If you see him, you might tell him that.”
“I’ll cover you,” she said, chuckling. Then she smiled sadly and lifted her glass. “Here’s to old times, my dear.”
“And your forthcoming happy event,” he said, meeting it with his. There was a soft tinkling sound.
As the other members of the group joined them, conversation became general. When Josh left, memories of his childhood returned to haunt him. His mother had been beautiful like Terri. But unlike her, she’d never been faithful to his father, or his father to her. It had made him sick to see how little real emotion existed between them.
He tried to imagine loving someone and being cuckolded. The memories he had of his parents had made him bitter and distrustful of emotion.
Then he thought about Amanda. He couldn’t imagine her sleeping with anyone except her husband, if she married
. Amanda loved him. And he…
His stride quickened. He mustn’t let himself think about that.
O
n another beach, a few miles outside Montego Bay, Brad sprawled next to the blond waitress on a private
beach that belonged to the businessman he’d just closed a deal with for Josh. His sleek body was bare to the sun except for a tiny pair of white briefs that didn’t reveal as much of him as his companion would have liked to see.
He was very nicely built, Barbara thought as she studied him. He was more man than she was used to, and devastating with that almost all-over tan. No body hair, either. Some women loved it, but she didn’t.
She’d kept him at arm’s length for two days. He’d taken her to the best restaurants when she was off from work, and he’d been kind to her. Really kind. She decided that it was time to pay him back for the respect and courtesy he’d shown her.
She stood up and untied her white robe. Under it she was nude except for her tiny thong bikini briefs. She let the robe drop on his chest.
His dark eyes opened. He smiled with surprise and lazy appreciation as he took in her bare breasts and the soft curves of her body. “Very, very nice,” he said softly. “I was beginning to think you were wearing a habit under your uniform. Make yourself comfortable.”
“Don’t mind if I do.
” As she spoke, her fingers slowly undid the ties of her bikini briefs. She let them fall, watching his eyes slide over her with evident appreciation.
He arched his back sensuously, and his interest in her took a slow, physical form. “Ever made love underwater?” he asked huskily, because the pleasure of her lack of inhibition made him hungry.
“Not yet.”
“We’ll save that for another time. Lie down,” he coaxed.
She spread her robe close beside him and stretched out on it her blue eyes darting over him with blatant interest. “You’re very experienced, aren’t you?” she asked, remembering the way he’d kissed her good night at her cottage in the wee hours.
“I get by.” He turned his head and smiled at her.
“So do I.” She rolled onto her side and slid her hand across his flat belly. “Want me to relax you?” she whispered huskily.
He lifted toward her with a pained smile. “Go ahead.”
She teased him, toyed with him, until his face went rigid. This wasn’t strange to her. She’d learned a lot about pleasuring men, even if she hadn’t had much in return. She stroked him, smiling when he groaned.
“Damn!”
He stripped off his briefs and turned to her, his face as taut as his powerful, lean body. He hung there, waiting.
“Yes,” she whispered.
He moved then, straddling her wide hips. “Wait,” he said softly when she reached up for him. He retrieved his wallet from the folds of his towel and opened it. He removed something from it and put it in Barbara’s hand before he tossed the wallet back onto the towel. “Do you know what to do with that?” he asked.
“Yes. I guess
so. But I don’t like them…
”
“All the same, you’ll use it with me,” he said firmly. “I don’t take those kinds of chances. Ever.”
She made a protesting noise, but she wanted him enough to cooperate. She put it in place, making him pay for forcing her to use it as she teased him mercilessly.
He laughed softly. “Not bad,” he murmured, shivering a little with pleasure. “Show me what else you’ve got.”
She opened her legs and hooked them around his hips, watching him watch her. He bent and pressed his mouth down hard on her belly, working up to her breasts. He suckled them. While she gasped at the expertise of his movements, his hands learned her body as intimately as she’d learned his. He caught a hard nipple in his teeth and worried it with his tongue while his fingers invaded her in a slow, sensual arousal that quickly made a cry tear out of her throat.
He lifted his head. She was wanton now, her body shivering, her legs pulling at his hips. He laughed softly. “Do you want it?” he whispered.
“Yes! Yes, now
,
now, now!
…
”
Her voice broke as he thrust into her, his body fierce and merciless as he possessed her in one surge. She shuddered into completion almost at once, and he laughed while he taught her new sounds to make, new ways of moving, new rhythms. He kissed her roughly and then turned her under him, so that he was over her, behind her. Her hands clawed into the towel as she felt him.
“It’s good. Yes, it’s very, very good!” He moved, his hands lifting her hips up to him, and his rhythm grew more violent, deeper, slower. She cried out and pushed backward, weeping.
His movements shook her whole body as he increased the pressure and the depth. His hands held the front of her thighs, and his teeth clenched. He heard a noise far away, but he didn’t care now if the whole damned world saw and heard them, and neither did she.
“Qui
ck,” he jerked out. “Get it… get it now!…
”
He convulsed, a groan pulsing out of him in time with the savage throb of his loins. He felt her body shake uncontrollably under him, and he pushed her into the sand with the anguish of his need to get as deep as he could, to be physically complete with her.
She cried. It was the most violent climax she’d ever attained. Her body burned and throbbed and hurt with his possession, but when he began to lift away, she begged him not to.
“Barbara,” he whispered into her ear.
“Not yet,” she moaned. She turned under him, slid up, possessed him again, trembling, and her hips l
ifted. “Please. Please. Please.
” She repeated it with the rhythm of her body, satiated but still hungry, helpless, at the mercy of the uncontrollable need to experience again the savage satisfaction he’d given her.
“You’re good. Angel, yo
u’re good, you’re so good!…
” He kissed her, but tenderly this time. His hips moved again. She sobbed, and he felt whole again. It had been weeks since he’d had a woman, and he was willing to bet that she’d never had anyone with his expertise. Before he left the island, he was going to make her glad she’d invited this. He laughed softly as she began to shudder under him. His eyes closed. For a few achingly sweet minutes the world went away and left him alone.
He was sated when they went into the restaurant for dinner that evening.
The first people he saw were Nicos and Terri. She hailed him and stopped.
“You missed Josh,” she told him.
His face went rigid. “My brother was here?”
“Just to say hello,” Terri replied, clinging to Nicos’s arm. “He said it would be impolite to let you close a deal while he sat on the cay and didn’t even make contact.”
Brad relaxed. “So that was it. He isn’t still here?”
“It was just a brief visit. How nice to see him again.”
Brad noticed the wistful look in her eye, but he didn’t comment. She looked happy enough with her Greek millionaire.
“She’s very pretty,” Barbara remarked when they were seated and lookin
g at menus. “Is she an old girl
friend?”
He laughed. “Not
mine. My brother used to date her,” he said, not revealing the intimate nature of Josh’s relationship with Terri.
“Is that man her husband?”
“Yes. My brother was crazy about her, but he’s a wild-eyed fanatic when someone mentions marriage.”
“I don’t know,” she mused. “I don’t really want to get married either. Not for a long, long time.”
“Honey,” he said warmly, “you’re a girl after my own heart!”