Escape Velocity: The Anthology (60 page)

PLAN:

Continue medical management. Monitor vital signs q 4-6 hours. Place 173/LT on 24-hour suicide watch. Obtain GI and surgical consult for G-tube placement to provide parenteral nutrition should anorexia be ongoing. 173/LT is Full Code Status, does not have a Living Will and has no Durable Power of Attorney.

hi-hello & how are you, mister paper paperovich??? sosososo de-lighted to meet your acquaintance at looooong last... what??? you I want to shake my shaking hand??? hey heey heeeeey, you want me to wave my ::::::::abracadabra:::::::::: magic pen & turn you into the dearist of diaries???

~~~~~~~ one...........

~~~~~~~~~~~~two..........

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~three........

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>bangbangbang & a shower of exploding stars<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

someday the somethingth of somemonth, two thousand & whatever

o it was haaaaaaaaaard work getting my hands on you, dearistdiary. doctor pavlov-dog huuuuum’d & haaaaaaaar’d & deliberately deliberated... perchance he thght I cld origami you into a paper dagger & stab him in his dead heart??? methinks not.... oooooononononooooooo... hes got xray eyes, that crepe-soled creep... peeeeeeking through my dressing gown, peeeeering at my female organs. lil miss blown-up dolly parted her legs one more time while he fakked me on his diagnostic desk. his fountain pen has an :::::::::::ouchies!!!::::::::::::::: sharp nib.... I slipped it in my pocket while he was aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-aaaaaaa-aaaaaaa-aaaaaaaaaa-ooooooooo-oooooooooooooooooooooo sneezing his lust into me. but no.... im not using doctor pavlovdogs pen for you, dearistdiary. im sososososo sorry butbutbut I hav but the bluntiest & stumpiest of pencil stubs for you. the fountain pen will hav another destiny.... an all-to-gether different sheath..... stabouthisxrayeyeeyes.

someday the somethingth of somemonth, two thousand & whatever

sorry im late, dearistdiary... mrs matronly matron jabbed a needleful of magicliquid in my butt & i.........i.............i................... I think I flew all the way to afrika & hi-hello’d an elefantchief & got back just in time for supper. which I pooooured & squished into my pillowcase. no waaaaaaay am I gonna let them poison me with their cockroach soup & cannibal sausages.

remember the red monkeys???

o but im forgetting my manners :::::::::badgal gets spankies from papa again:::::::::: may I intro you to my good friend??? he says his name is hermes. hes very shy & silent butbutbut hes volunteered to be my messenger tween here & somewhere..... cos altho im getting thin as a rope, I still cant slip through those bars & escape. maybe one day..... soooome daaaay...........

someday the somethingth of somemonth, two thousand & whatever

im writing this entered entry :::::knockknock whos theeeeere???::::::: under a different date altho i no know altho i no know altho i no know if this day is different. if this different is day. or nite. or dark. or light. theres these slivers ov sky thro the bars butbutbut the skycolours bruise in & out they go & come sososo quikquik I cant keep up with them. hermes eyes are the colour ov a colourless sky, wldnt ya say, dearistdiary??? he keeps insissisisisting that I hav got to – I just hav to hav to hav to – write a letter to this girl, larisa & that larisa = me.... o-oh-oh, I = so-oh-oh confooooooooosed.

I cant remember why im remembering those red monkeys. can you pleaseprettyplease en-light-en me???

someday the somethingth of somemonth, two thousand & whatever

doctorpavlovdog looked tried & tired & driet & ridet today. he cant hopscotch into my mind, I why. no body can. there are special secret passwords & codes. he mumbled about electroconvulsion... oooooooooo that sounds like funfunfun..... he thinks he can feast on my imagoscape after hes sizzled it with voltages??? xaxaxaxaxaxaxaaaaaa therell be nothing left butbutbut charred remains of thoughts swathed in smoke, the fak-fak-fakwit.

I cant remember why im remembering that I cant remember those red monkeys.....

hermes, o hes sososososo sweetiepiekins, I you just looove his hat???, offered to de-liver this letter to larisa-me from me-larisa... I hate to be rude butbutbut I do suspect hes just the intsy-wintsiest bit madcrazy. I you??? weeeeeeell, if he obsessssses about de-livering this message, so be it.......

ill start writing it now, shall i???

larisalarisalariiiiiiiiiiisa listen to me quikquikquikly, ya gotta read this & soak it upupup into yr essence fore its toooooooo

About the Editors

Geoff Nelder
is from Chester, England. Mr. Nelder is a Post-Graduate Fellow of the Royal Meteorological Society and the author of a reference book on the weather.
His previous works include the novels
Escaping Reality
and
Exit, Pursued by a Bee.
He is the senior proof editor and co-founder of Adventure Books of Seattle.

Although he is modest about it, Mr. Nelder is also a former computing teacher and the holder of several degrees.

Robert Blevins
is from Seattle, U.S.A. His previous works include the sci-fi novel
The 13
^thDay of Christmas
and the controversial non-fiction book,
Into the Blast – The True Story of D.B. Cooper,
which alleged that Kenneth Peter Christiansen, a former U.S. Army paratrooper and airline employee, was the famous skyjacker. The book was the subject of a recent episode on the History Channel program
Brad Meltzer’s Decoded
.