Eternity (15 page)

Chapter Thirty-two

I froze as I watched Barakel plummet onto the jagged boulders that overlooked Ransom Beach. Unable to tear my eyes from the sight of the fallen’s limp body splayed upon the enormous rocks, I hovered in the sky. Only when Michael slipped his hand in mine did I move.

Gently he guided me back to our cove on Ransom Beach. Once I felt the ground solidly beneath my feet, I started shaking uncontrollably. Out of relief or fear, I wasn’t certain. The carefully controlled, strong Ellie—the one I fashioned every day since returning from Boston—had crumbled. And I was furious with myself.

“How am I supposed to fulfill the prophecy, Michael? I don’t think I can do it. You saw that I can’t do it.”

“You can, Ellie. And you will.”

“You had to kill Barakel for me. I should have been able to do that myself.”

“Don’t be too hard on yourself, Ellie. You did stand your ground against Barakel. I bet if I hadn’t been there, you’d have been able to beat him. Anyway, didn’t Ezekiel say that I needed to be a ‘knight to my lady?’”

The words brought me back. I simply couldn’t let myself dissolve like this. “You definitely were my knight today, Michael. And so much more. Thank you.”

“Ellie, never thank me for the privilege of helping you.” He smiled. “Anyway, next time, I bet you won’t even need my assistance. Even though I’ll be there if you do.”

I took a deep breath at the thought of the three remaining fallen. I’d have to remain strong so I could better handle this again and again. “Next time.”

Michael held me in his arms. In our sheltered cove, we hung on to each other and waited. Even though neither of us said it, I think we both expected some confirmation that we had stopped two signs by killing two more fallen.

“Nothing’s changed,” I finally said. I couldn’t stand the silence—and the unspoken disappointment—a second longer.

“I know,” Michael answered. He knew exactly what I meant. “The wind, the surf. It’s all exactly the same as . . .”

He trailed off, and didn’t finish his sentence. So I did it for him. “Before. Before you killed the two fallen.”

“Yeah. I guess I thought that if we killed two of the fallen angels responsible for the signs, we’d get some sort of signal that we’d put a dent in the end days.”

“Me too. If we destroyed two of the key fallen, that is.”

“What do you mean?” He sounded confused.

“Maybe the Dark Fallen capable of triggering the signs have other fallen that help them? I’m guessing that the one you killed first was a helper for Barakel—the one who came for me.”

“It seems like we won’t know if we’re successful until the very end,” Michael said sadly.

“Yes.” I hated to agree, although it now seemed undeniably true.

There were no words of consolation or encouragement I could offer. Nothing more than the comfort of my embrace. We stood quietly for a moment, until the wind picked up. Michael wrapped his arms around me tighter. The heat of his breath on my hair warmed me and made me hopeful that things could be right between us.

Regardless of our close brush with death, the respite from the flashes of me with Rafe was short-lived.

“Ellie, what’s going on with you and Rafe? Those flashes, well, they were really upsetting.” Michael’s voice cracked.

My heart broke a tiny bit to hear the sadness in his voice. It was so much worse than his anger. “Michael, I know how the flashes must have looked . . .”

“You don’t know how they looked. And you can’t know how they felt.”

I clung to him. “Please Michael, believe me. Nothing happened between me and Rafe.”

Michael stared into my eyes, searching for the truth. He must have found something genuine in them—something to believe in—because he touched his lips to mine. We started gently kissing, and I felt our connection strengthen. I thought we could get over whatever pain those flashes had caused him.

But then another figure landed on Ransom Beach.

Rafe.

Chapter Thirty-three

Without thinking, without even hesitating, I raced across the rocky sand dunes to meet Rafe. I wanted to tell him what happened and get a million questions answered—especially whether Barakel and the other fallen that Michael had killed represented one or two of the remaining signs.

Before I could even get a word out, Michael yelled out behind me, “Can’t wait a single second?”

I spun around. “What are you talking about, Michael?”

“The flashes, Ellie. Remember?” he said, pointing to Rafe. “Plus, I’ve watched how he looks at you.”

How Rafe looks at me? Michael didn’t know what he was talking about. Rafe didn’t care for me, other than in his official angelic capacity. I could understand Michael’s anger at the frisson of attraction that passed between me and Rafe in those flashes he experienced, even though nothing had happened. I wished Michael could confidently draw on the love we felt for each other, rather than automatically thinking the worst of me. Yet, I could hardly be disappointed in him for not doing so; I’d had my own doubts about Michael over the past few days too.

Still, I wanted us to keep the connection we’d reforged. I didn’t want to divide us again by arguing with his logic. So I started to explain.

“Michael, please don’t jump to conclusions. Let me—” I begged.

He cut me off. “Ellie, please don’t patronize me with some weak explanations. Pictures speak louder than words.”

Rafe jumped in. “Michael, nothing inappropriate happened between Ellspeth and myself.”

Inflicting his wrath on Rafe, Michael shouted, “I know that. I’m not talking about what did happen. I’m talking about what
you
wanted to happen, Rafe. Anyway, why should I believe anything you say? How do I know that you’re not one of the six fallen, and you’re not using all this training as a way to have us get rid of the others for you? So you can stand alone with your precious Ellspeth—who you’ve already swayed—at the end?”

“Michael, please!” I was aghast at the accusations he wielded against me and Rafe together, and against Rafe alone.

“Think about it, Ellie. How do we know that Rafe is who he says he is? You should be careful not to trust him as easily as you do.”

“Michael, I know he’s not a fallen. I know he is pure angel.”

Michael put his hands on his hips. “Just because he told you so?”

I was afraid to tell him, but it was the only way to convince Michael. “No. Because I saw it in his blood.”

Michael’s face turned ashen. “You drank his blood?”

“I had to, Michael. It was the only way I could be certain that we could trust him.”

Michael’s body started to transform for flight. His shoulder blades expanded and his arms lengthened. I knew it would be painful for him to hear about the blood, but after what we’d been through—after all we still faced—would he actually leave me? Was it for tonight, or forever?

“Good-bye, Rafe. I don’t think your training is necessary anymore. I handled myself pretty well out there tonight against two of the fallen. And, Ellie, I don’t think I can be around you right now.”

“Michael, don’t leave!” I beseeched him. I couldn’t believe that he’d actually take off.

Michael looked over at me. His eyes looked so mournful yet so fixed in their judgment.

“Ellie, I cannot sit around and watch Rafe gaze at you through one more so-called session, knowing what I now know. Day is about to break. I think I’ll spend tomorrow night practicing on the football field instead.”

“No, Michael.”

“Why not, Ellie? That’s where my skills are appreciated.”

“Michael, I am so grateful for your skills and for you. You saved my life. You
are
my life.”

“Is that why you left my arms for Rafe the minute he arrived? Is that why you willingly drank his blood? When you know all too well how the blood can make you feel? If I was truly your life, I don’t think you would have done any of those things.”

I started to object, when Rafe stilled me. Even though I knew Rafe was right—that my entreaties would fall on deaf ears—it killed me to let Michael go.

But I had to.

Chapter Thirty-four

I wanted to curl into the comfort of Rafe’s powerful chest and cry. I wanted to cry for the loss of the teenager Ellie, who innocently loved travel and books and movies. For the forced emergence of her replacement, the Nephilim Ellspeth, who needed to be strong and invincible to fulfill the prophecy. Most of all, for the casualty caused by that transformation: the relationship between me and Michael.

But I didn’t want to give credence to Michael’s accusations by finding solace in Rafe’s arms. Instead, I tried to assume the role of the indomitable Nephilim.

I mustered up some bravado, put my hands on my hips, and said to Rafe, “What will I do now? I thought that the prophecy required both me and Michael. And you can see that I need him. He’s the one who killed the two fallen tonight. Michael’s the one who stopped at least one sign. Not me.”

Michael’s flight—literal and figurative—hadn’t fazed Rafe. He seemed impervious to the changeability of humankind, one of the few qualities about him that was very different when he was an angel.

He answered me calmly, “Michael did help to stop the fourth sign. Barakel could’ve triggered a worldwide economic crisis. Ellspeth, please don’t worry. Michael will play his most important role when the time comes.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“God foretold it through His word. And He’s very rarely wrong.”

“What about free will? Didn’t the fallen exercise their free will against His wishes?”

“God does allow for free will. Yet, I feel like I’ve gotten to know you and Michael well enough that I believe your will is in accord with His word.”

What else had He deigned to tell Rafe? I had a sneaking suspicion that Rafe was holding back. “Did He make any predictions as to whether Michael would love me after all this is over? Assuming I do my job, that is. Did He foretell that?”

“His word only divulges that which is necessary,” Rafe said with a small smile that I’m sure he thought was consoling.

I wasn’t comforted. I wanted to scream. I hated it when Rafe slipped into angel speak, and, anyway, all his mysterious predictions and evasive answers were making me mad. And wary.

What if Michael was right? What if all this training and reassurance and affection were ruses on Rafe’s part? What if he was only acting this way to make me align with him, so that I would stand by
his
side when he undid the seventh seal? What if Rafe was able to use his blood to trick me? Maybe it was time for a challenge.

I squared my shoulders and stared at him straight on. “If you know so much, why don’t you tell me about this mysterious role that Michael will play?”

“I don’t know, Ellspeth. He hasn’t shared that with me.”

“He must have uncovered his precious timeline to you, as an angel of His presence,” I taunted him. “You must know when the remaining fallen will come for me, for example.”

At the mention of the angels of His presence, Rafe’s face clouded over with sorrow. “No, Ellspeth. He only revealed to me what I’ve already told you. But I think that you’ll know the Dark Fallen when you encounter them. Just like you did with the others you’ve come across.”

“Oh yeah, I did such a great job identifying Ezekiel. I had no idea who he was until it was too late. Same with Kael. Anyway, I don’t believe you, Rafe, when you say that you’ve already told me everything that He told you. I may only be half an angel—not a full breed like you—but even I can tell when you’re keeping secrets. If you know anything else—especially signs that will help me recognize the Dark Fallen—now is the time to tell me.”

He hesitated. And Rafe never hesitated. “Maybe it’s time that I share something else with you.”

“Maybe it is,” I said angrily. Finally, after all these games and obfuscations, we were getting to the truth.

“Only you can destroy the fallen responsible for the seventh seal. Not Michael. He won’t be capable of doing so.”

Rafe’s disclosure surprised me. I thought he’d give me some basic tips on spotting a Dark Fallen in a crowd. Not something of this magnitude.

“Why? Why wouldn’t Michael be able to kill the last one?” As I spoke the words aloud, a horrible possibility occurred to me. Maybe Michael wouldn’t be able to slay the final fallen, because he would be slain himself.

“Will he be—” I couldn’t even finish my question.

Rafe understood. “No, Michael’s death won’t be the reason that you must deliver the ultimate blow. I don’t know why he cannot help you. I haven’t been told.”

I looked into his mournful, angelic eyes, and saw he spoke the truth. It happened to be a hard truth, one I did not want to hear. But then I saw a flicker of something else in Rafe’s eyes. Something I nearly missed. Something that he was trying very hard to hide.

“That’s it? You’re sure there’s nothing else you’re holding back from me?”

He stared down at the ground.

“Tell me, Rafe.” I took my hands off my hips and reached out for his. “Please, there’s no time left for secrets. Not if you want me to succeed.”

A maelstrom of emotions passed across his ethereal face. I could see that this last secret was at the eye of the storm—as was the decision whether or not to share it with me.

He tightened his fingers around mine, and leaned toward me. His lips brushed across my cheek, and I could feel his hair on my forehead. We’d never been so close, not even when I drank his blood. His nearness momentarily drove out thoughts of all else, even the pain of Michael’s abandonment.

Rafe began to whisper. At first, I almost couldn’t hear the words, because I could think only of the sensation. His soft breath on my ear was so deliciously warm and soothing. “The only secret I’ve kept is one I don’t even want Him to know. Because it’s forbidden.”

“You can tell me, Rafe. You can tell me anything.”

He paused, and then pressed his lips against my ear. “Do you remember the story I told you about the beginning?”

“Yes, I do.” I almost didn’t care what he said; I wanted him to keep whispering forever.

“Do you recall that I told you that the angels arrived on earth with the mission to teach and protect? And that changed once they met humankind. Something caused them to fall.”

“Yes, of course,” I said, even though I was mostly focused on what it would feel like if Rafe’s lips traveled down from my ear to my neck.

“I told you that I initially believed that the fallen fell from pride. Pride in their godlike ability to teach and create.”

“Yes?”

“I’ve since learned that it wasn’t only pride that caused the fallen to fall.”

“What was it, Rafe?” I answered him, half listening.

“It was also love.”

I stopped relishing the sensation of his breath in my ear and his lips on my skin, and I looked up. Had he really just said that? Did he mean what I thought he meant?

We stared at each other for a long, silent moment. I should’ve been surprised by Rafe’s words and what they meant. Somewhere, deep within myself, I had suspected them, even feared them. From the very first moment he had told me the story of the fallen and why they fell for humans, I knew he was telling me the story of himself.

“Love,” I finally said. “The fallen fell from grace because they fell in love with humans.”

Then Rafe placed his forehead on mine, and we stood close, breathing deeply. Despite my subconscious suspicions, I still couldn’t believe that Rafe had actually uttered those words. Even though, if I were truthful with myself, I loved hearing them.

“I love you, Ellspeth. Even though I can never, ever have you.”

Rafe’s lips moved slowly from my ear to my cheek. He breathed me in—my scent, my very being. I’d never been so close to him, and he smelled so intoxicating, so otherworldly. It was less like a scent and more like a memory. It conjured within me homesickness for a place I’d never been.

I wondered what it would be like to kiss him.

I felt myself weaken, my knees buckle. He wrapped his arm around my back, bolstering me, and I thought I heard the beating of his heart. Yet it sounded unlike the steady beat I’d often heard in Michael’s chest. More like the slow, rhythmic flapping of wings.

Was this my real destiny? Michael had become so mercurial, and our relationship had become so difficult lately. Had the past few weeks simply been a long, painful good-bye to Michael? Was I meant to be with Rafe?

Rafe brushed his lips back and forth on my cheek. Slowly, too slowly, he moved his mouth onto mine. His felt so soft and full and enveloping. Our lips met.

The moment we kissed, a strange lurching sensation passed over me. Two powerful flashes overtook me, almost simultaneously. In one, I stood on Ransom Beach with Michael hand in hand, watching the most vivid, exquisite sunset I’ve ever seen. Tranquility and joy washed over me. In the other, I stood on that same beach with Michael, although we were not holding hands, and Rafe paced behind us. A hollow feeling inhabited my core, and a dark hailstorm brewed in the darkening sky above the sea.

From wherever—or whoever—the images came, I understood the message. As if he knew what I’d seen, Rafe immediately withdrew.

“I must go, Ellspeth. My presence here is now doing more harm than good. You must repair your relationship with Michael. And together, you must fulfill the prophecy.”

He was right. From the moment Rafe’s lips touched mine, I knew it was wrong. No matter how furious I was with Michael, that anger was a blip. He and I belonged together.

Still, I didn’t want to say good-bye. I closed my eyes, and said, “No, Rafe.”

“Ellspeth, more than anything on earth or heaven, I want to stay with you. But you and Michael—it has been foretold since the beginning.”

“What about free will, Rafe? What if I want you to stay?” Despite what I’d seen and what I felt, a part of me still wanted Rafe by my side.

His dark eyes bored into mine. “Ellspeth, God granted you free will, as he did to the rest of his creations. Yet I
know
you. I know that you would only exercise that free will to do what is right and good. And you know that means staying with Michael and fulfilling your destiny.”

“You are right, Rafe. I know you are,” I whispered with a sigh.

I opened my eyes to take one last look into his. But he was gone.

Yet in the sound of the wind whipping across Ransom Beach, I swore I heard Rafe’s voice. “I’ll be watching you, Ellspeth.”