Ether & Elephants (12 page)

“Understood.” That bit made sense.

She smiled. “Now, this card is your advice. The emperor is a strong, powerful man. That’s who you can be, dearest. You’re everything implied by the card, when you don’t let your doubts get the best of you. Be the emperor; be strong and bold and don’t give up.” Finally, she held up the last card, a picture of the earth, a broad grin on her face. “Succeed, my friend, and the world is yours. Not literally, of course, but your world will be complete.”

“That’s great.” Tom couldn’t help a moment of disappointment. “Just not what I was asking for, I guess. I wanted to know where to start looking next.”

“Is that what you asked?” Belinda lifted an eyebrow. “Precisely what you asked?”

Tom shook his head. “No. I asked what I should do.”

“Then you have your answer. Be strong, be bold, trust yourself and don’t hesitate, but keep an eye out for trouble. Based on this reading, I’d guess you already know where to look. You just have to trust that instinct. And when you do find your answer, stick to it and don’t give up.”

He pondered for a moment. “It all goes back to Cambridge, doesn’t it?”

Belinda picked up her cards and wrapped them reverently in a silk handkerchief. “I can’t tell you that. My instincts and knowledge aren’t relevant. Yours are. Talk to the others tonight, but trust yourself and make an informed decision. In the meanwhile, we’d both better go and dress for the dinner party, or my sister-in-law will have our hides.” She leaned across the table and gripped Tom’s shoulder. “You’re a good person. Know that, deep in your soul. Don’t let the mistakes you made in your past make you doubt the man you’ve come to be. And remember, you’re not alone. We all love you very much.”

He stood and leaned over to drop a kiss on her cheek. “Love you too, Belinda. Connor’s a lucky bugger for finding you.”

“He is.” She beamed. “And I’m so fortunate that Wink didn’t marry him when she had the chance. Sometimes heartbreak leads to better things down the road. Remember, the world awaits you.”

“I’ll remember.” He left, heading to his own chamber to change into a dinner jacket and white tie. Was she right? Was there really the chance for a happy outcome? He wasn’t sure it was possible, but her record with the cards was impeccable. A faint stirring of hope fluttered in his chest. Perhaps there was something more ahead than a lonely, martial existence as a Knight.

For the first time in years, a gleam of hope touched his heart.

Chapter Six

Although the house party had been put together for the twins’ birthday, this evening’s dinner had quickly become an engagement party for Roger and Nell, which left her feeling something of a fraud as she sat down next to their host and hostess in the coral silk evening gown she’d been thinking of just a day earlier. Bless her mother for having thought to bring it. While Tom’s expression had remained wooden, at least Roger’s eyes had popped. Nell had taken advantage of Caro’s lady’s maid, and her hair was piled high in a sleek style with just a few fat curls falling against her neck, which was accented with a triple strand of pearls to match the large oval ones that hung from her ears. The set had been her twenty-first birthday present from her parents, and they were her favorite jewels. It felt good to know that for a change, she looked her absolute best. Roger had only ever seen her dressed as a teacher.

Other members of the Order had arrived throughout the day, including Wink’s husband, Liam. Kendall, Marquess of Lake, Merrick’s superior in the Order was part of a larger group, including his wife Amelie, their young son Ned, and Kendall’s parents, the current Duke and Duchess of Trowbridge. Even the dowager duchess, well into her eighties, was there with feathers in her hair. Sebastian Brown, whose cousin was a Knight, worked at Scotland Yard with Liam, had brought with him his wife and two daughters. The only notable absences were Piers and Jamie. Nell missed her younger brothers with all her heart, but it was Charlie she couldn’t put out of her mind. Despite the romantic overtones of the evening, despite being the belle of the ball and having the chance to visit with her friends and family, Nell was anxious to be off, searching for her student. If only she knew where.

“Tell us about your home in Sussex, Roger.” After several toasts to the newly engaged couple, Melody turned to Roger, seated in the place of honor on her left. “Nell says you plan to give up teaching to run the estate?”

“That was my intent.” He smiled down the long table at Nell, his eyes twinkling. “I’d have quit the school earlier, but there was something—or rather someone—there whom I didn’t want to leave without.”

She felt her cheeks heat, though her skin didn’t easily show a blush. “I’m glad you stayed.” Aside from their impending marriage, she’d have missed his friendship horribly at Glenbury, and even more, having a suitor had kept her from feeling as horridly undesirable as had when she’d first fled to Cornwall. “I’ve never spent much time in Sussex, though. Do tell us what it’s like.” It would be so lovely to have a home of her own…and a family. She was growing more and more used to the notion of a life with Roger. She was sure she could see herself with him, sitting fondly beside him as they grew older, surrounded by dark, curly haired children. Perhaps in time he’d agree to the school and to them taking in a child or two to educate with their own future offspring, starting with Nancy and perhaps Charlie, if they found him and if he didn’t turn out to belong to Tom. For the first time in three years, Nell looked into the future and saw a chance for happiness, beyond just the rewards of teaching.

Roger continued his description. “The farms are lovely and green. The house is Tudor, not too big nor too small. It has six bedrooms, I believe, plus the nursery, so your family will be able to visit. I’m sure you’ll love it, darling. We’ll want to update things, of course, make it our own. And we’ll be close enough to London to run up whenever we like.” He beamed and Nell couldn’t resist smiling back. He was so genuine. He’d been at home as a schoolteacher and yet seemed eminently comfortable as the sole outsider in a group that included not only several of the kingdom’s most elite, but also several from other walks of life. Mostly, he didn’t seem to care about the fact that he was among people whom most of the world would call freaks, with women who worked and many with uncanny supernatural abilities. How could she not care for a man like that?

“I can’t wait to see it.” Nell meant every word. “One thing I do miss at the school is the ability to keep a dog or cat.”

“A whole menagerie, if that’s what you’d like my dear.” Roger waved his hand extravagantly.

Nell chuckled. “I think a horse and one or two house pets will be quite sufficient. And a room for my piano, of course.”

She spoke little through the rest of the meal, watching as Roger charmed each of the women and came to terms with the men. By the end of the meal, even her father and Sir Fergus seemed to have given the younger man their stamp of approval.

The ladies retired to the drawing room for tea, and the others mobbed Nell with questions and more than a few risqué comments. To Melody’s surprise it wasn’t Wink or her mother who made Nell blush, but Geneva.

The eldest MacKay sibling, one of the first female physicians in Britain, pulled Nell aside. “Are you having relations yet? If you are, I can provide you with some prophylactics until after the wedding. Trust me, you do
not
want to have to deal with getting married and having morning sickness at the same time. I was delighted to have a baby right away, but frankly, I’d rather have waited just one more month.”

Nell blinked. Of course, she’d realized that most of her friends had anticipated their vows, but she hadn’t realized Genny was pregnant at her wedding. It had simply never occurred to her to count. “Um, not yet.” There she was, feeling like the last virgin on the planet except for the children upstairs in their beds.

“Give it time.” Genny gave Nell a one-armed hug. “You’ll know when the moment is right. Meanwhile, I’ll pop over to your room with a few packets just in case.”

The next hour was a string of whispered conversations with each of the other women. Mostly, the comments were bawdy or full of pithy advice, or sometimes both, as in the case of the dowager duchess. The only person to express any doubt about the engagement was Belinda. “Are you sure he’s the one? Something just feels…off to me. If you’d like, I can read the cards for you.”

“I’m sure. But thank you for caring.” Nell bussed her friend on the cheek. She had a special fondness for Belinda, whose Gypsy background also made her something of an oddity among all the pale Britons in their two families.

“Of course I care.” Belinda smiled sadly. “Roger reminds me a great deal of my first husband Micah. He was a wonderful, caring man. He never did anyone a wrong in his entire life. But I never knew true happiness either, not until I met Connor. I understand the difference between love and affection more than most people. All I’m saying is think before you leap.”

“Let me ask you something.” Nell saw how difficult this was for her friend to talk about, and the words rang too true to dismiss. “If Micah hadn’t died, would you still be happy? Would you regret having married him?”

Belinda paused before answering. “I’d have just gone on living. We’d have been content, as we always were. But I wouldn’t have met Connor, or had the twins.” Belinda’s first husband had been sterile, Nell recalled. “And I would never have known what I was missing. Your case is different. You’ll always know. The question is whether or not you can live with that.”

Nell sipped her tea, considering. Finally, she said, “I’ve been thinking about little else since the moment Roger proposed. Maybe he is my Micah, as you seem to suggest. But more than anyone else here, you know what it’s like to be different, to be darker-skinned than society expects, to be eyed with suspicion. Micah gave you a refuge from that. A chance to live an ordinary life. That’s no small thing.”

“No, it isn’t.” Belinda opened and closed her mouth as if there was something more she was trying to say. Finally, she sighed. “The men will be here any minute, so I just want to say one more thing. Wait until you’ve found this child. I don’t know much from the cards, but I know he is, or could be, a tipping point for several lives, maybe including yours. Give yourself time as a fiancée before you become a wife.”

“We planned on that,” Nell promised. “Truly. In any case, I’m more worried about finding Charlie first. I won’t marry him tomorrow. You have my word.”

Belinda sighed. “Good.”

The gentlemen arrived and the party moved to the music room, big enough for dancing when the gathering was as intimate as this one. Roger came straight to Nell’s side and didn’t relinquish her arm until the music began.

And there was dancing.

The orchestra Melody had hired was a small one, suitable for an intimate gathering, but each of the eight members was a master of his instrument. Nell felt the pulse of the music flow through her veins, as it always did when the notes were right and the souls of the musicians poured through into the song. Across the dance floor, Nell sent a grateful smile to her hostess, who knew how much Nell loved a well-played tune and loathed a bad one. Melody winked. Despite her name, she couldn’t sing or play a whit, but recognized art when she heard it. And she’d brought them here as a gift to Nell, or at least partly so.

In honor of their engagement, the host and hostess ceded the first dance to Roger and Nell. As he took her in his arms and swept her into the waltz, she felt it again, that sense of being warm and cared for. Only the music made her heart race as they swirled around the floor, her family looking on.

“So,” Roger murmured in her ear, “I heard something interesting over port. I didn’t know you and Tom had ever been an item. I thought you were strictly brother and sister.”

She swallowed hard, not allowing her feet to reflect the dread that coiled down her spine. “We are—brother and sister, I mean. We’ve never been an item as you put it. It’s an old tease among the family. I had a little bit of a tendre for him when I was little, that’s all.”

“But it’s entirely over. On your part as well as his?” There was no judgment in Roger’s tone, just concern. He was beyond thoughtful.

“Entirely.” Oddly, it wasn’t a lie. She’d finally, after three years, come to terms with the fact that she and Tom would never be. Great heavens, what a relief. The weight of the world had been lifted from her shoulders. “Don’t be concerned about a schoolgirl crush, dearest Roger. I’m not twelve, anymore. If Tom and I had been meant to be, he wouldn’t have married someone else. And I’m glad. Otherwise I would have missed out on teaching, which I love. And I never would have met you.”

His hands squeezed lightly on hers and on her waist. “Then I must be grateful for that.”

“We’ll be happy, you and I.” She leaned her head against his broad shoulder. “I promise.”

“I hope you’re right.” His lips brushed her temple as the music stopped. He stepped back and bowed over her hand while the others in the room applauded. “I have your ring, you know, back at the school. It was my mother’s, and I’d been holding on to it for months, building up the courage to ask you.” They stepped off the dance floor and his expression turned more serious. “When I return there for my things, we’ll make our final decisions on all the details, all right? You were entirely correct, my dear. We need to find Charlie first, and give ourselves some time to sort out our future.”

Nell bit her lip. She let her father take her hand and whirl her into a country reel. What the hell had happened, and why? Just when she’d made up her mind! Roger turning the tables on her didn’t make any sense. What had someone told him? And who? Nell swore she was going to rip someone’s guts out through their nostrils if this kept up.

Throughout the course of the party, she had no luck whatsoever in gathering any information. She danced with each of the men, of course, except for Tom, and given the size of the gathering, she danced with most of them more than once. Not one of them would admit to anything more than finding Roger to be a “decent sort of chap.” By the time the music stopped and everyone said goodnight, she’d determined she’d scream if she heard that phrase just one more time.