“I miss Mommy,” she said, with tears spilling softly onto her cheeks. She wrapped her arms around her aunt’s neck and held on tightly.
“I know. Right now, I miss my mother, too.”
Sitting in the passageway caused Abigail to feel closed in and prickly. Too much had happened in such a short period of time.
Lisa’s expression changed. “Are you afraid?”
Abigail let out a deep lungful of air very slowly and thought,
I must hide my emotions better.
She said, “When Matt left, I was afraid, but not now. Do you think I am?”
The girl watched her aunt for a minute. “No. Not now.”
Memories flooded Matt’s mind so rapidly, he was unable to pin any one down long enough to examine it. Once one stayed, he wished it didn’t. It was the day he received his letterman jacket. While his friends were getting hugs or a pat on the back from their parents, he stood alone. So many times during football season, he glanced up at the bleachers, but quickly looked away. Not once did he see his father.
Now as he sat thinking, he realized neither parent showed much interest in his life. Not even when he was in trouble. Like the time he gave a party that resulted in the police being called. Instead of being upset, they were indifferent. It angered him to think his parents didn’t care.
It feels like a dagger in my gut to admit my parents never gave a rat’s ass about me. Even as a young child, in vain I got A’s on my report card, trying to get their approval.
Stop this! he told himself. Obsessing about my childhood isn’t getting me anyplace. I’m a big boy. I have to stop blaming them. It’s now up to me to forgive and accept them for who they are.
As he sat thinking, he wondered, Why was I so icy to the children and Abigail, and why did her question stir such anger? It hit him. I hate being connected to the Top Dogs. They are cold, ruthless men. Yes. That’s it. And what did I do? I acted just like them. Once again, I’m blaming those men for who I am. It was my decision to become a thief. I’m responsible for my choices. It’s my lifestyle that makes me unworthy of Abigail.
The only good that has come from knowing those men is working with Brent and Robert. We make a great team, manning those touring vessels. We’re friendly, helpful and informative to our guests. That’s why we have the most bookings and highest profit every month. But, have we ever been acknowledged for our efforts? No. Whatever we do is never good enough. He let out his breath and shook his head. Here I go, looking for approval from those men.
I have to grow up, and quickly, or it will be too late. What a joke! Wanting respect for being an ethical thief -- it sickens me. All these years, I could have been building a good life for myself. What a waste!
Abigail. All this is about her. What is it that draws me in? She’s a religious fanatic, but I find it refreshing. My aunt Francis was like her. She once gave me a Bible, which I seldom read. Most women in my life were more like Mother -- stuffy, social-climbing women. Aunt Francis was the only genuine woman I knew -- until Abigail.
Suddenly Matt remembered making a vow never to trust women -- right after discovering Jack’s mother having sex under that car.
No wonder I never wanted a serious relationship.
But, why did I let my guard down with Abigail? Why did I let her steal my heart?
The passageway was gloomy as she and Lisa sat waiting.
Abigail resolved to find a cellphone. After walking to the engine room, she peeked in. “Hey, I’m leaving.” “No, you’re not!” Robert yelled.
“But, yes I am, I have to find female protection.”
“What?” Robert said. “It’s that time of the month. I need protection.” He stared at her, and waved for her to leave. Lisa and she walked away without an escort for the first time since the ordeal began. “Finally, some freedom,” she said, as they climbed the ladder.
After reaching the main salon, she started pulling the padded seats around the portholes, but found nothing of interest. She stepped toward a cabinet, opened it and looked in, no phone.
Lisa blinked, “What’s wrong, Aunt Abigail?”
“Just feeling discouraged, that’s all.”
“Why?”
“I can’t find a phone, so I can’t call the Coast Guard.”
Lisa’s face tilted. “Where do people hide them?”
“Good question. In plain view, unless disguised. Your grandmother had one like that given to her.” While looking around, Abigail spotted a wooden container, stepped toward it and picked it up. After opening it, she found a stack of ashtrays and coasters.
Her discouragement became heavier. “I must find a way to get us out of this mess. The only place to signal for help is at the wheelhouse. Going there might be fruitless, but definitely worth a try.” She and Lisa climbed the ladder and saw Forelli at the wheel. Perhaps the fact he didn’t like the other men might work in her favor. Who knows, he might be receptive to a friendly face.
As they walked toward the helm, Lisa’s eyes were wide. “Do you want me to act sick?” she whispered.
“Shush. No. You don’t have to do that, only with Matt.” The closer they came, the more apprehensive she felt. Not knowing what to expect from the man, she couldn’t give her intent away.
Forelli jumped back a step and stared at them. In a gruff tone, he said, “What’re you doing out here?”
“Thought you might want a break to get something to eat or drink.”
No response.
She decided not to let him intimidate her. “My dad owned a smaller yacht.” She took a few steps closer. “I helped Mr. Kilgore and Matt at the wheel. If you want a break, I can take over.”
As he stared and smirked, he said, “Do you think I’m an idiot?” He turned to face the water.
Lisa piped in, “I’ll be with her.”
Forelli glanced at Lisa with his dull eyes.
Well, great! This is going nowhere. Perhaps I can wear him down.
“How long have you known Matt and the other men?”
“A while.” He continued to fix his gaze at the sea.
“How do you know each other?”
“Work.”
Cheerfully, Abigail said, “Oh, where?”
“What’s this, a hundred questions? I should be asking you the questions: Where’s Matt? And, why are you unescorted?”
“We’re getting drinks for Brent and Robert, and we thought you might need a break. Besides, we needed fresh air.”
“Well, you’ve had your fresh air, so get back to what you were doing.”
Abigail’s face dropped, her eyes were low.
If only I got my hands on that two-way radio.
As they walked down the ladder toward the galley, she said, “Well, at least we tried. Let’s grab some drinks and head back to the engine room.”
Lisa said, “Why is it taking them so long to search one place? You’d think they would have finished by now.”
After smiling at the girl, she said, “I thought the same thing.”
While in the galley, Abigail turned to her niece, “Decide what drink you want and grab it.”
Lisa put her hand on her hip. “We didn’t see Matt.”
“I know, Honey. I think that’s strange, too.”
Abigail genuinely liked and missed Matt. She was worried about his mental state. In the past, she often was too optimistic about men. Sometimes, she stayed in flawed relationships long after they should have ended. Once a therapist told her, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.” Often she anticipated a different behavior from a man, yet he consistently had the same behavior. It had taken years, but she realized she must accept a man for who he is and stop projecting her values onto them.
What is it about me that I want to depend on a thief, for our safety? she questioned. When I get home, I’ll call my therapist. But, for now, I must find a new plan of escape. The shore boat is gone, no access to the wheelhouse, what’s left? We can jump off the vessel with life preservers. But, then we would be like ducks in a pond.
Lisa touched Abigail’s hand. “Can we get some snacks?”
“No. Later, Sweetie, it’ll give us an excuse to leave again.”
Suddenly, Lisa’s eyes teared, “Can we go home soon?”
“I sure hope so, Honey.”
“Do you think Matt’s gone? Maybe he won’t come back for us.”
The thought never occurred to Abigail. She felt stupid for relying on him at all.
As they entered the main salon, they both stopped abruptly. They saw Matt. Abigail took in some air. Her shoulders relaxed, and her head was high. “You look awful. Did you lose in a boxing match? Are you okay?”
He nodded and managed a smile for Lisa, he glanced back at Abigail. “We need to talk. Go give the drinks to Robert, and tell him you ran into me. Say I need to speak with you alone. He’ll understand.”
She stood and looked at him for a moment, then turned and walked toward the ladder.
As they left, Lisa spun around. “Goodbye Matt.” She continued looking at him until they reached the first step on the ladder.
Once they neared the poorly lit engine room, they heard Danny say, “Is this it?”
“No. Be patient. We think it’s hidden here someplace.”
“But, why?”
“Because only the captain or owners come in here, making it a logical place to hide something of value.”
When Danny saw his sister and aunt with drinks, he quickly took his favorite refreshment from the tray. “Where have you been? I waited for you.”
The girl placed her hand on her hip with attitude. “Getting drinks, silly.”
“Who wants the root beer?” Brent took the Coke, held it in Abigail’s direction and nodded.
“I hope you don’t mind, we visited the wheelhouse to get fresh air, and Forelli was there.”
Robert and Brent looked at each other -- both seemed annoyed. She was unsure if they were upset with her or the mention of Forelli.
“We saw Matt in the main salon. He wants to talk to me alone; he said you’d understand.”
After grunting something, he pointed to a chair for Lisa. “You can sit there.” He then motioned for Abigail to leave.
Lisa asked, “Can I help, too?”
Robert pointed to the left corner. “You can recheck those things. See if you can find something we missed.”
While walking toward the ladder, Abigail’s heart beat faster. She climbed up the ladder and went into the main salon.
Perhaps he feels remorse, and wants to let us go. Or, is that my sanguinity showing?
As she took her last step, she saw Matt watching her. After moving to the table, she stood for a few seconds and pulled up a chair opposite his.
She noticed his slumped shoulders and dim eyes as he silently sat. He lifted his head. “I’m sorry you and the kids had to go through all of this.”
“Then, let us go home. Lisa and Danny need to feel safe again. You know darn good and well that the murderer might still be on board. Don’t say you don’t.”
“Look, Abigail. That might be true, but we’ll not leave until we find the murderer. We must clear our names.”
“You said you want to speak to me, what about? Or, was that it?”
His head slowly moved back and forth while saying, “I’m sorry for acting so weird earlier. When you asked about my connection to the touring ship, it triggered something.”
“What?” “The men on that vessel arranged for me to become a thief. If I had never met them, my life would be significantly different.”
“How?”
“For one, I wouldn’t be a thief. Look, I haven’t stopped examining my life since the moment I found your friends’ bodies. And, being around you and the kids makes me realize how much I’m missing.”
His eyes were brighter and his voice firmer. “I’m also painfully aware of my life decisions. Right now, my only close friends are thieves. I have no strong family ties, and no one to share my life with. What you stand for is appealing to me, but I can’t kid myself. A guy like me could never be worthy of a woman like you, and that hurts.” His eyes glanced down, and his worry lines deepened.
After reaching over the table, she touched his hand. Without looking up, he put his other hand over hers as they contemplated their predicament.
As he lifted his head, he passionately looked into her eyes. “To be worthy of you, I would have to start over. But, I can’t. My past would be chasing me for the rest of my life. What kind of life would that be for us?”
Warmth filled her, “If you truly want to, you can ask God to forgive you and ask Him to help you change.”
Her words seemed to have fallen on deaf ears or a hard heart.
“You made me realize what I’m missing.” He gazed at her. “Do you have any idea what I’m even trying to say here? I want you, Abigail. But, I know I can’t have you.”
After squeezing his hand, she said, “But, you
can
start over. And, without the past haunting you.”
“How?”
“Turn yourself in to the authorities. Tell them everything. And, be willing to pay your debt to society.” She tightened her grip, and focused on his eyes. “Do you have money for a good attorney?”
Matt nodded.
“Let your attorney fight for your rights and help you get out of this legal mess. And, spiritually, accept what Jesus did for you and ask for forgiveness. You can start a new life with a clean slate.”
“Abigail, please. I just can’t do the religious thing. I don’t want to be a hypocrite. Being a religious person just isn’t me. Please understand that I could never believe like you. It isn’t within me. Don’t embarrass yourself to think otherwise.”
His words stabbed at her heart, the pain was deep. She could have easily fallen for him. If only he would take responsibility for his mistakes. But, his words slammed the door on that. Years ago, she decided never to compromise her faith. After listening to what he had to say, she decided to guard her heart.
“My dear man, I can hear the pain in your words, and I know things are difficult for you.” Her tone was sweet and her words were controlled. She carefully hid her disillusionment. “Thank you for being so frank with me. Please know, I’ll continue praying for you long after this ordeal is over. But, always remember, Matt, there’s always hope.”
When Jack entered the main salon grinning, Abigail concluded that the Fabergé egg must have been authentic.