Evening Stars (37 page)

Bertie passed over paperwork, and Nina read it. The forms were pretty straightforward. Once the trust was funded, Nina would be able to draw up to sixty thousand dollars a year until the trust was depleted.

The amount was so ridiculously high that she nearly giggled as she signed. Sixty thousand dollars? Who had that much money? It was impossible to imagine. Yet once the painting sold, the fees, commissions and taxes were paid, the four of them would be splitting just over six million dollars. She would have a million dollars in her trust, as would Averil. Bertie and Bonnie were keeping the rest. The sisters had jointly insisted on that.

“We have our meetings with the auction house in a few weeks. We’re flying to New York for that,” Bertie said. “I can’t remember when we’re meeting the financial planner, but it’s on my calendar.”

Nina continued to sign where the sticky-note arrows told her to. “What about the house?” she asked.

Bertie raised her eyebrows. “Is this your way of saying we need a new roof? I’ve already called for estimates. We’re going to replace the carpeting, too. Your mother is saying we should redo the bathrooms, but I like them as they are. We’re still deciding.”

“You’re going to stay here? I thought you might want to move to Seattle or somewhere else.”

Bertie shook her head. “This is home. We are going to get a new van, though. A bigger one so we can bring home more treasures.” The smile returned. “And we’re talking about going to Hawaii once all this is settled.”

Nina waited, but that seemed to be all. “Life will just go on as it did before?” she asked. “Even with millions of dollars in the bank.”

“Especially because of that. We’re happy the way things are. Too much change would jeopardize that.”

Nina nodded and continued to sign, but on the inside, her head began to spin. Averil had returned to Kevin, because she wanted the life they had. Her mother and Bertie, upon going from barely making it to having a couple of million dollars each, were going to buy a van and get new carpeting.

She put down the pen.

“What?” Bertie asked. “Are you all right?”

Nina didn’t know if she should laugh or burst into tears. “I was so worried about having to hold everything together,” she admitted. “But nothing has changed, has it? Despite my concerns and craziness, I was never in charge.”

“You did like the illusion.”

Nina groaned. “So much wasted energy.”

“You cared. There’s a difference.”

“Is there? Maybe if I’d let go sooner, it all would have worked out sooner.”

“Or we would have all been lost. You can’t rewrite history, child. You can only learn from it and move on.”

Nina stretched out her hand across the table. Bertie took it and squeezed her fingers.

“I’m going to miss you so much,” Nina said.

“Because you’re leaving?”

She thought about the view of the island from the plane and all the dreams she’d let die. She thought of where she wanted to be in ten years. In twenty.

Maybe she would fail. Maybe she would be bitterly unhappy. Regardless of the risk, she wasn’t going to stay stuck anymore. “Everyone has moved on but me,” she admitted. “I’ve run out of excuses. I’m going to go for my dreams and see what happens.”

Bertie leaned toward her. “It’s going to be wonderful.”

Chapter Twenty-Five

“THE FLYING WAS GREAT,” Kyle said happily as he drove up I-5 toward Everett. “Perfect weather, light winds and plenty of flight time.”

“Your favorite,” Nina said lightly, trying to ignore the rock in her stomach. Kyle had returned and called her to set up dinner for Friday night. He’d told her to dress up.

She’d tried to convince him that something more casual would be better, but he’d been stubborn. Which was why she was in a dress and heels when she would have preferred to be in jeans. She wasn’t sure why jeans were better, except maybe then she would be in flats, and wouldn’t they be better if she had to bolt halfway through the meal?

She’d spent the past three days doing a lot of soul-searching. It hadn’t been pleasant or easy, and she’d spent more than a couple of hours in tears. She’d re-created a calendar of the past ten years of her life and made notes of the major events that had occurred. She saw very plainly when she’d given up on her dreams and where she’d settled. If she didn’t want to spend the next twenty years like the past ten, she had to get moving.

She’d also realized that while the trust fund had been a catalyst, it couldn’t be the reason. She had to make changes for herself—because they were right for her. Which had led to her finishing the application to Tufts.

While it was unlikely she was going to get in this fall, she was hoping for the best. She’d talked to Andi again and then had a long conversation with Andi’s mom via Skype. She’d also started researching other medical schools. Tufts would be her first choice for next year, but she would have a lot of backups. Averil was lobbying for UCLA so they could be close.

Regardless of whether or not she made it into Tufts, Nina had decided to leave the island. She’d been looking into places where she could volunteer her services for the next year. There were hundreds of clinics in poor neighborhoods in need of help. She simply had to pick one and apply.

All of which meant telling Kyle she wasn’t going to see him anymore.

He got off the freeway and drove west. She recognized the route and held in a groan. Not Marianna’s, she thought. The beautiful restaurant he’d brought her to on their first date. She didn’t want elegant dining and memories. She wanted to make a clean break and escape. But before she could figure out how to make that happen, they were already pulling up to the valet and he was handing over the keys.

They were seated at an intimate waterfront table. Champagne was chilled and waiting. Expensive champagne.

Her heart sank even more. This was not good, she thought, before asking, “What are we celebrating?”

“I’m back with you,” Kyle told her before holding out her chair.

Their server opened the champagne, poured them each a glass, then left. Kyle leaned toward her.

“I missed you,” he said. “It’s tough being away from you.”

“I missed you, too,” Nina began, then paused. Before she could figure out how to say what she needed to, he took one of her hands in his.

His blue eyes crinkled as he smiled. “I know how this started,” he said.

“You mean me being your fantasy?”

“Yeah. And then I came here and you were even better than I thought.”

“I’m glad I didn’t disappoint,” she murmured, thinking there was no way this was going where she thought it was going. They hadn’t known each other very long. He couldn’t be... There was no way he was...

She swallowed, suddenly afraid and wishing there was a fire exit nearby.

“The thing is, Nina, I didn’t have a lot of expectations, beyond living the dream for a few weeks. Then everything changed for me. You and I connected in a way I didn’t expect.” Emotion filled his blue eyes. “I started to recognize we had something special.”

“We did,” she admitted, speaking slowly. “Kyle, you caught me in your arms and I didn’t know what hit me.”

Oh, crap. That didn’t come out right, she thought. “What I mean is...”

He nodded. “I know exactly what you mean.”

She doubted that.

“I love flying,” he continued. “The Navy is exactly where I want to be. You know about my plan to join the Blue Angels. I’m on track for that. But being with you has shown me I want more. I want a wife and a family.” He squeezed her fingers. “I want that with you, Nina.”

Her mind went blank, and she had a bad feeling she looked as shocked as she felt. Even thinking that he might possibly propose had in no way prepared her for the actual words.

He continued to smile at her. “I know it’s fast, but I love you, Nina. My mom always said I’d know when I found the real thing, and she was right. You and I are great together. We have so much in common, and you’re going to love being a Navy wife. We can live all over the world. There are so many advantages. You don’t want to stay on this island forever, do you?”

“No,” she said, relieved there was a question she could answer. “I was going to talk to you about that. I want to leave.” She pulled her hand free of his.

“We can do that together. We’ll travel and explore together. You’ll like the other wives. They really stick together, especially when their husbands are gone. It’s like a sorority. When I’m deployed, there’s still email and Skype. We’ll have a true partnership.”

“How is it a partnership when you’re gone for six months at a time?”

“We’ll still be in touch.”

“But you won’t be there. When you’re gone, I’ll be the one taking care of the house, the kids. You can’t be a partner when you’re half a world away on an aircraft carrier.”

She wasn’t sure why she was saying all this. She didn’t want to marry Kyle, so it wasn’t an issue. But she couldn’t seem to stop talking.

“I’d be responsible for everything,” she continued. “Taking the kids to school, dealing with them when they’re sick. I’ll have to do everything. It’ll be just like it is here, only in a different location. I don’t want that. I don’t want to be the one in charge.”

“You wouldn’t be the only one. Okay, I’ll be gone for a few months, but you’ll have the other wives.”

“I won’t be married to them. I don’t want a part-time marriage. I want...” She shook her head. “Kyle, I want to go to medical school. I want to be a doctor. There’s a chance I can get in this fall, but it’s not likely. I’ll be applying to other schools for next fall.”

He didn’t look the least bit daunted by her statement. “That’s great. You can go to school and be married to me. While I’m gone, you’ll have more time to study.”

She stared at him, taking in his eager expression. He’d been good to her. He’d literally saved her life or at least kept her from breaking a few bones. But he’d rescued her in other ways. He’d brought her back to life when she’d been in danger of losing herself. He’d made her laugh and had reminded her what it was like to be desired. But even without him being in the Navy, she couldn’t spend the rest of her life with him.

“Kyle,” she said quietly. “I don’t love you. I’m sorry.”

His smile faded. He was quiet for a long moment. “You don’t? Are you sure? Maybe you need some time to think this through.”

She felt as if she’d been kicked in the gut. “I’m sorry,” she murmured.

“You’re not going to change your mind?”

She thought about saying she wished she could, only that would be a lie. Nothing about the life he described sounded the least bit appealing. She didn’t want what he could offer, and she knew that, in the long term, she couldn’t make him happy, either.

“I’m not going to change my mind. This has been wonderful. I’ll remember you always. But you’re not the right man for me. Our life wouldn’t be the right choice for me.”

His jaw tightened, and he looked away. When he turned back to her, there were tears in his eyes.

“I thought we had something special,” he said simply.

She bit her lower lip. “We did, Kyle. I can’t thank you enough for this summer. For your passion. For a lot of things.”

He nodded once and stood. “Come on. I’ll take you home.”

“I can get a cab. It’ll be easier.”

Kyle was a gentleman to the end. He waited until the cab arrived, then helped her into the backseat. She watched him as they drove away, waiting to feel an emotion that would tell her she’d made a mistake. There was regret—mostly for hurting him—but also a sense of anticipation. She’d taken the first step of her new journey. There was no going back now.

She leaned forward to speak to the driver. “I’m going to give you a different address. It’s still on the island, but it’s by the marina.”

* * *

The evening concierge smiled a greeting and immediately called up to Dylan’s place. A few seconds later, she was waved toward the elevator.

She rode to the top floor with her stomach doing backflips and her knees threatening to give way. But at the same time she was filled with a sense of having done the right thing. Power was sexy, she thought as the doors opened and she stepped out onto Dylan’s floor.

Once again he was waiting for her, the door open. He wore jeans and a T-shirt, and he was barefoot. When he took in what she was wearing, he raised an eyebrow.

“Hot date?”

“Sort of.”

He stepped back to let her in. “With the boy?”

She put her purse on the small table by the door. “Kyle asked me to marry him.”

Nothing about Dylan’s expression changed, although a muscle tightened in his jaw. “What did you say?”

“No.”

She was going to say more—explain what she’d realized, how she could never be happy with him. She wanted to discuss the merits of various schools and the volunteer opportunities. But before she could start on any of that, Dylan moved toward her. He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her. She rested her hands on his shoulders and parted her lips for him.

His tongue pushed inside. She welcomed the steady stroking, the heat that poured through her, the sense that she’d been waiting for this moment for a literal decade. She wanted to be with Dylan. She wanted to feel the way she had before, when being touched by him, making love with him, had been the best part of her life. She wanted to surrender and know that she would always be safe with him. Not taken care of, but safe.

He drew back enough to kiss her cheeks, then her nose. He kissed his way along her jaw, following the path to her neck. When he reached her collarbone, he inhaled deeply, as if drawing in her scent. Then he straightened and looked at her.

“God, I’ve missed you,” he said.

She stepped out of her heels and reached for the zipper of her dress. It fell to the floor. He pulled off his T-shirt. She undid her bra. He unfastened his jeans, then pushed them down, along with his briefs. She stepped out of her panties.

They studied each other. He was a little broader in the shoulders than she remembered. More muscled. Extremely erect. She was aware of the ten or so pounds she’d put on but couldn’t summon enough energy to care.