Ever Bound (3 page)

“Where are we going?”

“To the barn.” She put a finger over her lips and looked around us before she pulled me out into plain view.

I pulled my hand away. “I’ll go with you, but we have to talk.”

She gave me a warning look. “I hope it’s nothing too terribly bad. It’s been an awful day. You’re the only person who can make me feel better.”

Upon entering the barn, Grace lit the lantern. She dropped her housecoat onto the dirt floor. Her thin nightgown covered very little.

I turned away. “You’re naked.”

“Not yet.” She giggled.

“This isn’t appropriate.” I took a feed sack from the pile in the corner, took Grace’s arm, and gently pulled her to a hay bale. After sitting her down, I covered her. “I’m not sure how else to say this to you. I don’t have the same feelings for you as you do for me. I care, but not in that way. You’re too pretty and too smart to settle for me. You need someone who returns your devotion.”

“If this is about our social standing—”

“It’s not. It’s about me. Us. I have tried to have feelings for you, but they’re just not there.”

Grace’s face was pasty and blank. “I see.”

I hated hurting anyone, but it had to be this way. I had to let her go.

She dropped the empty feed sack, gathered her housecoat to her chest, and rushed out the barn doors. Maybe in a few days, she’d be able to speak to me again. If she didn’t, that may have been the best thing.

I slept better that night than I had in weeks.

A few days later, I walked up on Pop and Mr. Rollins deep in conversation. Pop’s hands were hooked in his suspenders while Mr. Rollins’s pressed suit looked to have come fresh from a tailor. The sharp pointed collar poked Mr. Rollins double chin as he talked, and his black dress shoes shone in the summer sun.

I’d heard no more from Grace. I’d given her no chance to speak to me so far off on the property working. I’d hoped to give her some time without seeing me so she could recover from whatever feelings she thought she had for me. It’d worked out well so far.

“Here he is now.” A smile broadened on Pop’s face. “Mr. Rollins has a proposition for you. If you dig all the holes for the rose maze, he’ll drop the rest of your debt.”

I’d incurred more debt with books, clothes, and shoes for school. Here and there other things had come my way that I hadn’t exactly asked for. They’d been gifts from Grace.

I nodded and looked at the paper. My hands shook. This would put me close to the house and close to Grace, but the longer I’d worked at the Rollins plantation, the more I’d grown to love caring for the property.

“I’d planned to get an architect to design the whole thing. We don’t have the inside drawn up yet, but you could start the outside walls,” Mr. Rollins said.

“I could draw in the rest if you’d like.” I looked at the rose maze dimensions.

“You’ve learned enough arithmetic that you think you can do that?” Mr. Rollins sounded pleasantly surprised.

“Yes, sir. I believe I have.” Glad for a distraction, I scanned the clearing in front of me. The rose maze slowly took shape in my mind.

Mr. Rollins and my father left me to the figuring it took to start placing the trellis posts for the maze. Within a few hours, I placed the first few holes in three feet intervals.

When I went home, it was later than usual and the house was quiet. I stepped into the kitchen where Grace sat at the dinner table. Across from her, a plate of mouth-watering stew, a heaping mound of potatoes, and a glass of ice-cold sweet tea waited for me.

Grace smiled. “I thought you might be hungry. It’s sort of a peace offering.”

After days of not seeing or hearing from her, this was good. I wanted us to work things out and be friends.

She was a little overdramatic at times, but girls could be, I supposed.

I neared the table and slid the chair out. “You really didn’t have to go to all this trouble.”

“After the way I’ve been toward you, I did. I needed to know you don’t hate me.” She stared at the plate.

“I could never hate you.” I sat down. “You were just looking for that special someone. I always imagined everyone has a soul mate. When you find yours, there’s nothing that could stop the two of you from being together.”

“You’re right. I’ll find him. When I do, I’ll never let him go.” She smiled sweetly. “Now, eat up. You’ll need a lot of energy for what’s to come.”

“Yes. That rose maze is kicking me in the seat of my pants.” I took the fork laid out for me. After a few bites, I shoveled the food into my mouth while Grace giggled. I wiped my mouth with a fancy napkin she’d brought from the house. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize how hungry I was.”

“It’s absolutely to be expected. Now, I’ll take the china back and let you rest. I took the liberty of feeding your mother and father, too, just before you came in. They’ve already retired for the evening. They were gracious enough to let us have this time alone to talk. You’re lucky.”

“I wondered where they were. Yes. They’re good folks. I’ll wash the dishes and bring them up. You’ve done so much already.” I put my napkin on the table and finished off the tea.

“If we’re going to be friends, I should tell you”—she pinched her nose—“you stink. If I were you, I’d bathe before sleeping.”

I sniffed my shirt.

She giggled and winced.

“Wow. You’re right.”

We both laughed.

“I’d planned to bathe, anyway. I’m not sure if I like the new you. Pointing out my flaws. It was nice when I always smelled like roses and could do no wrong.”

“I’m sure there’s plenty wrong you can do.” She winked and with a swish of her skirts left the kitchen.

Well, that ended well.

* * * *

After washing the dishes and hurrying to the back steps of the house, I found a servant on her way in. She took the China and glasses back to the kitchen for me.

As I passed the four-foot tall purple Sweet Williams growing against the main house, the breeze carried tinkling piano music. It was a sad but beautiful song.

I’d heard it before when I’d taken late night walks through the trails in the woods. The wind carried the same excerpt to me a few seconds later, and I closed my eyes. Something about the music and the cool breeze calmed my twitching muscles.

Just as I opened my eyes, a shadow passed over the curtain, and a girl in a white nightgown leaned out.

I almost fell out into the moonlight.

Her long wavy hair slid over her shoulders and fell over the threshold of the window. Annabeth Rollins.

Falling backward, I landed on some sticks and made a horrible racket.

When Annabeth turned her head toward the spot where I now huddled against the house, I caught my breath.

Her hair lifted with each gust of breeze, as she regarded the dark purple-blue sky, her milky white neck looked soft enough to touch.

A rock jabbed my buttocks, forcing a garbled noise from me. I scrambled closer to the stone wall.

With a stare aimed in my direction, she looked over me.

I crouched perfectly still.

She drew her windows inward. After a few seconds, the candle in her room flickered and went out.

Finally able to breathe, I fell back on the bed of pine needles and shoved the rock over into some bushes. If she’d seen me, there would’ve been no way to explain myself.

She’d think I had been purposely spying on her.

I’d had no idea that her room was the source of the music.

Suddenly too tired to make the long walk to the waterfall, I started for the pond. My knees felt as though they might not even make it there, but I had to bathe before sleeping.

After stumbling down the embankment, I stripped down and half washed my body.

Exhaustion hit me like a ton of manure. I lay on the bank and rested my head. A rustle at the top of the path to the pond would have normally jerked me awake, but I was so weary my head floated.

Standing above me, a blurry girl in a white nightgown stared down on my nakedness.

In an attempt to roll over and cover myself, I looked like a fish out of water.

She turned, floated down the embankment, and stood over me.

As if I were under the water, I couldn’t make her out, but when her white gown slid over her shoulders and landed at her feet, my body became heavier. The inky sky and her porcelain skin intertwined. The cool night air contrasted with her warmth. She spoke words that made no sense, and as if she and my body knew a language I didn’t understand, they carried out an act I had no control over. When it was done, she slid away from me.

Grace Rollins loomed just over me. “Sleep, my love.”

* * * *

When I woke the next morning, it was Sunday, the Lord’s day.

I sat on the end of my bed.

Mama and Pop rustled around in their room, gathering their Sunday best for church. I couldn’t explain what had happened to me, but I knew it had been of the devil.

Mama poked her head in my door. “Son, you’ll be late if you don’t hurry.”

I stared at the wall. “I’m not going.”

Without looking at her, I knew her mouth had fallen into an O. She took going to church and her faith very seriously. Mama stepped into my room and shut the door behind her. “Is something the matter?”

“There are a lot of things the matter. I wouldn’t know where to start. I just don’t think I can go to the same place Grace will be today.” I finally looked at Mama.

“I’d really hoped last night would settle things between you, but I gather it did not. You mustn’t let her come between you and your faith. I know you don’t talk about it much, but you do believe. It might do you some good to go. It’s cleansing.” Mama held her Bible at her waist.

After the night before, I wasn’t sure if anything could cleanse me. “She’s gone too far this time. Please don’t be angry with me. I can’t do it.”

Mama bowed her head. She’d probably pray for me all day. “I could never be angry with you. I love you. And God loves you. And in her own way, I think Grace loves you too. Last night she was very sweet in coming to see you. Why, I don’t think I’ve ever had a more wonderful meal. Or a better night of sleep. I woke fully refreshed.”

“I’m sure you did.” I clenched my fists. They were blinded too. She must’ve used some sort of wicked sleep potion on them, and they had no idea.

Mama and Pop left for church.

I stared at the wooden walls. No one would believe me, a lowly farmhand, if I told the family what Grace had done. There was no reason to bother. It could even possibly be turned around on me.

She could make it sound as though I had forced myself on her if she wanted to. She’d done it plenty of times already.

At the wardrobe, I shoved all my expensive clothes aside. The clothes I came here in were in the back, so I pulled them out.

* * * *

The church steeple poked into a blue Sunday sky.

Piano music filtered out open church windows as a chorus sang a hymn. The call to the altar at the end of preaching had started.

I shoved the doors open.

Everyone in the church stared at me.

I marched straight for the parson and stopped beside Grace. I started to look at her, but I simply shook my head and continued on.

The piano continued to play, but the congregation’s song stopped.

The parson leaned in to me. “My son, do you need prayer?”

“Yes. And lots of it. I’d also like to be baptized. I’ve allowed sin into my life.” I looked boldly upon Grace, then back to the parson. “I need it washed away.”

“There’s nothing that would bring me greater joy. Let us now pray.” As he spoke soothing words of reverence, I silently asked God’s forgiveness for any part I may have had in the evening before or the provocation thereof, though I was pretty sure I’d been faultless. When I looked back up, I gazed past Grace, Mrs. Rollins, and on to Mama.

She smiled and nodded.

I followed the parson to the river just outside the church. Within a few minutes, I was baptized and cleansed of all my past transgressions.

After the baptismal service, Pop shook my hand and Mama hugged me.

I felt lighter, stronger, more focused.

Gripping her skirts, Grace shoved past me, jutted her chin, and strode toward her wagon.

Before Mama had too much time to study my face, I started through the trees and toward the road. It wouldn’t take her long to figure out that something very wrong had happened to me, and I didn’t feel like answering her questions.

I made it almost home without incident.

“So, Mr. Perfect, what exactly did your little religious show back there mean for us?”

I jumped.

Grace stood in the shade with her hands on her hips.

As mad as I was, I was afraid I’d choke her. I continued in the same direction as if she didn’t exist.

“Are you breaking things off with me after you seduced me?”

Clenching my fists, I stopped. I’d always been brought up to never raise a hand to a woman, but this wasn’t a woman. I continued walking.

Grace jumped in front of me and slapped my chest with both hands. “You’re not going to take my virtue, then throw me off to the wayside, Colby Kinsley!”

That was it.

I stood taller and stared down into her vile, conniving face. “I feel quite sure that your virtue was thrown carelessly to the wayside some time ago. I had nothing to do with it. I don’t know how you did it, nor do I care to know, but after what you did to me, I will no longer acknowledge your existence. Understand that. Never again will we speak.”

“My dear, Colby. You were so drunk last night, you don’t remember the way of things. You took advantage of me. I wasn’t strong enough to fend you off, but I was good enough not to tell on you. Now you’re going to treat me this way?” Grace crossed her arms.

I slipped around her.

“Is there someone else?” her voice broke behind me.

Breathing in good thoughts and breathing out Grace, I picked up my pace.

“I’m the only way you’ll ever amount to anything. You’re a poor farmhand who has nothing to look forward to but your so called salvation. The only thing you’ll ever be is a hog castrator with manure under your nails.”