Every Day a Friday: How to Be Happier 7 Days a Week (14 page)

Do not spend time thinking about what’s wrong with you, but rather, think about what’s right with you. I told that young lady who gave up her baby for adoption, “Look at you. You’re beautiful. You’re talented. You’re successful. You’ve got a great job. Why are you still so down on yourself? That is over and done.”

The correct way to handle guilt is to repent and ask for forgiveness. Move forward. The wrong way is to hold on to guilt for a week, a year, or a lifetime. There are some things you cannot undo. You can’t unscramble
eggs. You cannot relive yesterday, but you can live today. Don’t let the accuser sour your future any longer. Start dwelling on what’s right with you, not what’s wrong with you.

Have you noticed how human nature is drawn toward the negative? I can have a hundred people tell me after a service, “That was a great message. I really needed to hear that.” But then one person will say, “I don’t know if I really understood the point. I’m not really sure I agree with you on that.”

I used to go home depressed, discouraged, feeling like a failure. I’ve learned now to shake it off. If somebody doesn’t like it, my attitude is,
I won’t allow someone else’s opinion make me feel bad about myself
.

I will not allow one bad report to cancel out a hundred good reports. In the same way, don’t let one weakness or one mistake made cancel out all the other great things about you. You may have made a lot of wrong choices, but you’ve also made a lot of choices that were right.

Focus on your good qualities. Focus on your victories. Get off the treadmill of guilt. It’s not taking you anywhere. Guilt will steal your joy. Don’t live another moment in regret. The source of your guilt may have been your fault, but that’s what mercy is all about. Rise up and say, “This is a new day. I’m unloading the baggage. I am done feeling wrong about myself. I’m done feeling condemned. I’ve focused long enough on what I’ve done wrong. I’m focusing on what I’m doing right.”

It’s very difficult for most people to accept the fact that God forgives us so easily. When we make mistakes, we think we have to pay for them. So we grow discouraged and get down on ourselves. Sure, we should be remorseful when we do wrong. We should be genuinely sorry and not flippant. But we don’t have to spend month after month wallowing around in guilt and condemnation.

I know some people who made mistakes years ago and they are still asking God for forgiveness. They’ve probably asked a thousand times. They don’t realize God granted it the very first time they asked. The problem is they have not accepted God’s gift of forgiveness. They think they
must show God how sorry they are by giving up their joy and paying some kind of penance. They live defeated and discouraged. And they beg and beg, “God, please forgive me. God, I’m so sorry. Please, God.”

Don’t be a beggar. Be a believer. Believe God forgave you the very first time. You don’t have to keep asking.

I love the story of the prodigal son (see Luke 15:11–32). The young man took his inheritance and left home, went out partying, living wild, undisciplined, and making terrible choices. He blew his whole inheritance. He lost it all. Finally he had no money, no place to stay.

He ended up working on a farm feeding hogs. He was so desperate, so hungry. He had to eat the animals’ food just to stay alive. But one day as he was sitting in the hog pen, guilty, condemned, ashamed, and depressed, something rose up on the inside.

He thought to himself,
Even the servants at my father’s house live better than this. And here I am sitting in the hog pen, wallowing in defeat and mediocrity.
He made a statement that changed his future. Without this statement, we would have heard no more of this young man. He said, “I will arise and go to my father.”

He was saying, “Yes, I’ve made mistakes. I brought the trouble on myself, but I won’t allow one bad season of my life ruin the rest of my future. I will arise.”

Maybe today you’ve made some poor choices. You’re not where you want to be in life. The accusing voice keeps telling you,
It’s your fault. Too bad. You’ve brought it on yourself.

If you’re to be restored, if you’re to fulfill your destiny, it’s not up to God. It’s up to you. Do like this young man and say, “I may be down, but I’m not staying down. I’ve made mistakes. It’s my fault. But I know the secret; I will arise and go to my Father.”

I believe one reason this young man could arise was because deep down he knew who he was. He knew what family he belonged to. When you understand your position, you can change your condition. Understand that you are a child of the Most High God, who breathed His life into you. You were never created to live depressed, defeated, guilty, condemned, ashamed, or unworthy. You were created to rule, to reign, to be victorious.

Your condition may be down because of poor choices and mistakes you’ve made. You don’t feel like you deserve it. You don’t feel like you’re worthy. But shake that off and say, “I understand my position. I know who I am; a child of almighty God. I may not feel like I deserve it. I may not feel like I’m worthy, but I know because of what Christ did He made me worthy. He took my guilt so that I can be free. So I will arise and go to my Father.”

That’s what this young man did. And when the father saw him coming way down the road, the father took off running toward him. He gave his son a big hug, put a ring on his finger, a robe on his back. He said to his servants, “Let’s celebrate. My son has come back home.”

God will do the same thing for you when you make that decision to shake off the guilt, shake off the condemnation, and say, “I’m moving forward with my life.” When you make a move, God will make a move. He’ll come running toward you with mercy, forgiveness, restoration, favor, increase. God can still get you to where you’re supposed to be.

But so often when we make mistakes the accusing voices repeatedly tell us,
You can’t ask God for help. It was your fault. You’ve been a hypocrite. You brought this trouble on yourself.

No, this is when mercy comes in. When you do wrong, you ask for forgiveness, and God forgives you. But when you really understand who you are, you won’t just ask for forgiveness. You’ll take it one step further and ask God for His mercy.

One who expects mercy says, “God, I believe You will bless me in spite of these mistakes.”

That’s what Jacob did. He had lived his life as a cheater, a deceiver, doing people wrong. He grew tired of living that way. One day he decided he wanted to make things right. He went down to the brook so he could be alone.

Genesis 32 talks about how the angel of the Lord appeared to him in the form of a man. Jacob and the angel began to wrestle. Their struggle went on all night. Jacob said to the angel, “I know who you are, and I’m not letting you go until you bless me.”

When the angel saw how determined Jacob was and how he would not give up, he reached over and gave God’s blessing to Jacob. Jacob left there a different person. God even changed his name from Jacob to Israel, which means “prince with God.”

But can you imagine the nerve of Jacob? Don’t you know that took incredible boldness? Here he had practically lived his whole life making poor choices, deceiving, cheating, and lying. He should have felt overwhelmed with guilt, condemnation, all washed up. Somehow he had the confidence to not only ask for forgiveness but also to say, “God, I believe You will bless me in spite of the way I’ve lived.”

Surely God would say, “Jacob, what are you talking about? Are you crazy? You don’t deserve to be blessed, not even really forgiven. I’m not blessing you.”

No, God said, in effect, “Jacob, I love the fact that you know who you are: My child, redeemed, forgiven, made worthy. You not only asked to be forgiven, but you also asked for My mercy. And Jacob, if you’re bold enough to ask for it, I’m bold enough to grant it.”

That kind of faith grabs God’s attention, not when we drag around guilty, condemned, feeling wrong on the inside. No, it’s time for us to arise and go to our Father. God is not the one condemning you. That is the accuser. Stop dwelling on those thoughts.

You may have failed, but God’s mercy never fails. The sad thing is, most people accept the condemnation quicker than they accept God’s mercy. Don’t let that be you. Shake off the guilt. Shake off the negative mistakes from the past. Don’t go another minute in regret, feeling bad about yourself.

The moment you asked for forgiveness, God forgave you. Now do your part and unload the baggage. Leave the guilt right where you are. Don’t take it with you. Leave the bag of regrets. Leave the bag of failures. Leave the bag of condemnation behind. If you learn to silence the voice of the accuser, guilt and condemnation cannot weigh you down. You will live a life of freedom, rising higher, overcoming obstacles, and accomplishing dreams!

I
’m a sports fan. I love the classic and true story of a boy whose dream was to play professional baseball. He was extremely gifted. All through junior high and high school he was by far the most talented player in his league. Professional scouts were regularly at his games.

Then one day he had a farming accident. He lost the whole forefinger and most of the middle finger on his throwing hand. It looked like his baseball days were over. But this young man had a “no-excuses” mentality. He learned to throw the ball without those two fingers, even though they are usually the main fingers used to throw a baseball.

He had always been a third baseman, but one afternoon during practice the coach was standing behind this young man and noticed some interesting movement on the ball when he threw from third to first. The coach asked him to try pitching. Turns out that was a very good idea.

Mordecai “Three Finger” Brown went on to become one of the greatest pitchers in the early history of Major League Baseball. In fact, he played for six different teams including the St. Louis Cardinals and the Chicago Cubs, competing until the age of forty. He helped win two World Series and was inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame in 1949.

What many thought would be a liability turned out to be a great asset. The spin Three Finger Brown could put on the ball made it very difficult to hit. God knows how to take what should be a disadvantage and turn it into an advantage.

It’s often easy to come up with explanations as to why you can’t do or be your best. Most people think they have a handicap of one kind or another, something that is holding them back. It may be a physical challenge, a personality issue, or maybe a divorce or a financial problem.

I’ve heard many explanations including “I’m just the wrong nationality.” And “I was born on the wrong side of the tracks.”

Each of us has challenges to overcome, but just because you think you have a “disadvantage” doesn’t mean you should sit back and settle where you are. God still has something great for you to do. You may not look like everyone else. You may not be able to do what others can do. But if you will stay in faith and stay positive about your future, you can turn your liabilities into assets.

If you find yourself apologizing for being different, why not start looking at yourself as unique instead? You are not too tall or too short. You are just the right size. You have just the right personality, just the right looks, and just the right talents.

When God made you He wasn’t having a bad day. He made you to be the way you are on purpose. He finished creating you and then He stepped back and said, “That was good. I like that; another masterpiece.” There may be things about you that you don’t like, but you can’t allow those things to hold you back or keep you from pursuing your dreams.

My mother had polio as a child. She wore braces on her legs. Today, one of her legs is much smaller than the other. When she buys shoes she has to pick up two pairs because her feet are two different sizes. But one thing I’ve always loved about my mother is that she never allows her “differences” to stop her from pressing forward.

She could have shrunk back and tried to hide her differences and felt insecure, but instead she has a “no-excuses” mentality. She knows she’s been made in the image of almighty God. She wore shorts and dresses growing up, never trying to hide her legs. She still wears dresses today.

My mother is seventy-seven years old and still showing off her legs! Don’t let her fool you. She loves it!

The effects of her polio never stopped her from working in the yard and around the house or wanting to help others. She could have thought,
I can’t pray for others to heal. My legs are not well
, but she did not allow her own health issues to stop her from praying for others in need of healing.

You don’t have to be perfect for God to use you. Take the hand you’ve been dealt and make the very most of it. Believe that God turns situations around. Believe that He’ll bring healing. Even if it doesn’t happen, you can still honor God by being the best you can be right where you are.