Every Second Counts (35 page)

Aunt Karen came to London and we moved into a B&B. I didn’t see Nat for a couple of days, but we spoke every few hours.

Information slowly trickled through: Riley had already been charged with murder and now he and other leading EFA members, including Taylor, were charged with a whole range of
terrorist-related crimes. They were all likely to go to prison for a long time. I had expected to feel more satisfied about that, but when I heard the news all I could think was that no punishment,
however severe, would bring back the last year, or all the lives that had been destroyed. I knew Charlie felt the same: her mum was gone, Nothing could ever change that.

I guess we had the answer to the question we’d been asking ourselves about killing Riley. However badly we wanted him gone, his death wouldn’t have given us what the hospital
psychotherapist called ‘closure’. Only time and getting on with life were going to do that.

Spider and his mum were brought in for questioning, though released without charge. I suppose that was fair. After all, Spider was young, and there was never any evidence that either he or his
mum had actually carried out any violent acts. Others who almost certainly had, such as Saxon66 and WhiteRaven and many of the low-ranking EFA soldiers just vanished. At least Lucas and Parveen
were released and, much to my amazement, immediately started dating each other.

At the end of the week, the general election took place. Riley’s Future Party did badly, while the party Latimer belonged to won a surprise majority of seats. Latimer’s term as Mayor
was soon going to be over and he was already being tipped as a leader for the future.

He’s not perfect, but he’s basically honest and well-meaning – and hopefully smart enough not to screw things up too badly.

Like democracy itself, he’s the least worst option.

The best chance we have.

So – the new government, with Latimer already in a senior position, has made a few radical moves and, thanks partly to the stability that’s come now that Riley
isn’t planting bombs and stirring up riots, the economic situation is slightly better than it was.

It’s like Nat said: some things have changed for the better; some things will never be known; and some people see Riley as a martyr in spite of everything he did.

There’s a new extremist party building up support. It’s led by Saxon66, though he’s using his real name now. He’s been clever about his past, distancing himself from the
League of Iron and claiming the entire organisation was manipulated by Riley and his team. To me and Nat it’s obvious that this new party is a cover and that Saxon66’s ambitions are as
ugly and violent as they always were. But he’s still getting more popular every day.

Riley and Taylor are in prison. I’m glad about that, of course, but it hasn’t made as much difference as I thought it would. Killing them wouldn’t have changed anything either.
Nat was right about that too. At least there’s no way Riley can dream of a political career again.

After agonising about it for weeks, when Uchi’s funeral was finally held, I went along. Nat came with me so I didn’t have to go alone. It was weird, saying goodbye to him. I even
cried, though mostly because the funeral reminded me of Mum’s. I didn’t really mourn Uchi himself, though I know I’m still grieving the father I never had.

But don’t get me wrong. I’m happier now than I’ve been for a long time. Nat and Jas and I had a few months off, but now we are back at school, redoing last year and about to
take our exams. I’m not sure how well I’ll do, but Nat’s going to get all A grades. He’s super smart, you see. As well as kind and brave and funny and gorgeous. And in love
with me. As I am with him.

Nat’s family is back together in a new house – a big one, with a room each for Nat, Jas and Lucas. Nat’s mum is at home all the time now, baking and fussing and spoiling
everyone. Lucas has a job – and is madly into Parveen, while Aaron and Jas spend all their spare time together too. I go there a lot; it’s a proper home: sunny and happy, just like Nat
says their family life used to be.

As for me, Aunt Karen asked if I wanted to go to live with her in Leeds. And Brian and Gail pitched up too – once they knew I was innocent of the crimes I’d been accused of. They
offered me a home again as well, which was nice of them.

But I know the score now. I told Uncle Brian I’d rather have my own place, so he’s helping me rent a flat. I live here alone. Yes I’m young to do it. And, yes, sometimes it
gets lonely.

But it suits me.

I come home and I can be at peace. I need this space. And, gradually, with Nat’s help, I am building myself up, coming closer to trusting the world again. Because though it’s easy to
shut out trust and love, in the end those things are all that really matter. And with Nat by my side, they seem possible at last.

One thing’s for sure. After everything I’ve been through, I know that life can be taken away in the blink of an eye. So now I’m trying to live every day well, with openness and
hope.

To make every second count.

Thank you to Lou Kuenzler, Moira Young, Gaby Halberstam, Melanie Edge and Julie Mackenzie.