Read Every Shattered Thing (Come Alive) Online
Authors: Elora Ramirez
Kevin nods and wipes his face again with his sleeve. “Stephanie....”
I wave my hand and shake my head, “Please. Not right now. I can’t...I don’t want to...talk about anything. Just get me to Emma’s. I need her.”
He exhales deeply and slides his arms underneath my legs and shoulders again - and I fight the pain from his arms resting against bruises. I lift my hand and rest it on his shoulder and lean my head against his chest. He grabs a sheet to cover me and I wrap myself in it, finally feeling safe.
“We need to hurry, Kevin. My dad...”
“I know,” he says and turns around, carrying me out the door and into the backyard and through the fence door.
***
We get to Emma’s in record time. Kevin pulls me out of his truck and carries me to the front door
—banging with his foot until Jude cracks it open. When he sees us, he throws the door against the wall and yells for Emma.
“Holy shit. Emma! Oh god, Kevin, bring her in and take her to the guest room around the corner.
Emma! Come here. Quick.”
Emma comes running down the stairs, her eyes wild with fear and dread. Benjamin is in her arms, rubbing his eyes. She’s still in her robe, her hair thrown into a high, messy ponytail. “Jude, what in the world? What’s going on?” She knows something is wrong—Jude rarely yells. Her face rests on mine and she blanches, almost dropping her son in shock. Jude steps in to grab Benjamin and Emma comes running over to me, tears already flowing freely. She doesn’t even know what’s happened yet and she’s already feeling. I realize then just how much I love her.
“Oh Stephanie....what did they do?”
“Jude said to put her in the guest bedroom.”
She covers her mouth with her hands and nods. Breathing deep, she follows Kevin into the guest bedroom and begins talking as he gingerly sets me on the bed and pulls covers over me.
“Okay. We need to...we need to clean her. I’m going to run a bath for her and...”
“Wait.”
Kevin and Emma turn to Jude standing in the door, his face grim.
“Stephanie, were you raped?”
“Jude...” Emma turns and glares at her husband. A few moments pass as they speak to each other silently, almost as if they knew it would come to this—and he’s the first to speak out loud. I close my eyes and wish for better days - sitting at their table, eating dinner, helping Emma make cookies....it all seems so surreal now. So foreign.
“Emma. If she was raped, she has evidence. DNA. I mean, look at her. She’s a wreck. She needs to clean up, but not before someone is able to gather evidence to make sure whoever did this is caught.”
I open my eyes and focus on Jude, his face set in a protective glare.
“Jude. It wasn’t just one man. There were...there were four of them...” I whisper.
Kevin speaks up for the first time. He’s looking Jude square in the eye. Emma just sits there, holding my hand. “Stephanie’s father runs a trafficking ring. Men travel from out of town just to have their chance with her and some of her friends.” He glances at me before turning back to Jude. “Stephanie found pictures of Valerie in one of the cabinets in the shed. We recently found out he’s even blackmailed the cheerleading squad because of a gambling debt.” Kevin turns to look at me again, his eyes asking for permission to continue. He knows I didn’t want them to know about this. I nod my head slightly and he continues.
“He even has a website posted with pictures. Daddy’s Little Girls.” Kevin’s face contorts with disgust when he says the name of the website.
“Ohmygod.” Emma’s eyes constrict with pain and she looks at me.
“It’s true, Em,” I whisper.
Jude stares at Kevin for a split second before storming off and grabbing the phone. Kevin follows him.
“Don’t call the police, Jude.”
“Like hell I’m not gonna call the police. That sick bastard...”
“...uses the police force as a cover.” Kevin finishes his sentence and Jude hangs up the phone.
“What?”
“Stephanie told me many of the guys she’s seen are from the police force. One of the guys last night was actually the cop who came over after CPS was called. He came over specifically to set an appointment. There’s not even a report about CPS yet with the local police. I called on the way over to check. He did nothing except strike a deal with her father.”
Emma’s face crumples even more as she listens and squeezes my hand. Jude and Kevin begin whispering in the living room. I can’t tell anymore what they are saying but I’m sure Jude is trying to find a way to seek justice - even if it’s with his gun.
“Stephanie. Why didn’t you tell me? We could have done something...” Her voice is earnest.
Quiet. Broken.
“What?” I look at her and raise an eyebrow. “What could you have done, Emma? Honestly...”
She looks at me and drops her head, resting it on the pillow next to me she just lies there, holding me. We lie that way for awhile. It’s the first time I’ve felt safe in days.
Jude walks in about ten minutes later. I open my eyes once I hear footsteps on the wooden floor.
Emma rolls over and places her hand on my hip.
“Where’s Kevin?” I ask. I’m so used to having him refuse to leave my side, I’m a bit confused when I open my eyes and he’s not there.
“He’s uh...resting on the couch in the living room. He dozed off while I was on the phone.” He chuckles a little and then looks at me, as if he isn’t sure he can laugh in this situation without being completely inappropriate. “He...he seems a little tired. It didn’t take him long.”
I smile and rearrange myself as best as I can without hurting too many throbbing muscles. Jude seems relieved to see me smile, even if he knows it’s tainted with pain. He focuses on his wife as they start talking about what to do.
“Em, I just got off the phone with my buddy at St. Joseph. We’re going to need to take her to the hospital. Derrick will wait for us.” He holds his hand up in protest when he sees my face form an argument. “Steph, you need to be looked at. And I wouldn’t trust you with any other doctor. This is one of my best friends. I’ve known him forever.” He walks over and sits on the edge of the bed. Grabbing his wife’s hand and placing his other hand on my cheek, he starts to cry.
“Stephanie, I really wish you would have said something earlier. I could have spoken to the DA; we could have kept you here; something...anything....to get you away from that monster.”
I am so out of it I almost forgot about Pacey. I sit up; Emma places her hand on my back and sits up with me, guiding me and protecting my muscles from working too hard too soon. I’m grateful. I’ve never been this sore in my life.
“There’s something else.”
Emma and Jude look at each other and her shoulders slump. “What do you mean? What else is there? What happened?”
“They took Pacey.”
They look at each other again, this time with more confusion, “What do you mean? Who took him?”
“CPS was at the house yesterday when Kevin dropped me off. They separated us to ask us
questions. Apparently whatever Pacey said was grounds enough to pull him from the house, because they took him. My dad was there. That’s what instigated this.” I motion my hands up and down my torso. “I don’t even know where my brother is or how to find him.”
Jude sighs. “This is a disaster.” He looks at me and points his finger. “Don’t pretend you are having a hard time understanding why they took Pacey away. You live in that house. You see the bruises on your brother just like people see the bruises on your arms. He may not have had to say anything. And I doubt their visit sparked last night. If I know your dad like I think I do, he’s had this planned for a long time.” He looks down and rubs his temples, “We'll find him, Steph. We’ll get him. I promise.”
I remember the cigarette burns and grimace. “I just want my brother back.” The tears start to form and Jude clears his throat. I suddenly find myself leaning against his chest.
He places his hand on the back of my head and strokes my hair. “It’s going to be okay, Steph.
Your dad can’t get to you anymore. We won’t let him. I won’t let him. Just relax...you’re protected now.”
I close my eyes and let the tears fall against my will.
I’m so sick of crying. I’m so sick of my heart feeling incomplete and broken and split wide open.
“Why do you guys insist on getting involved?” I place my hands on Jude’s chest and push away.
Looking at Emma, still sitting on the bed, her hand now on my knee, I wipe my eyes and focus in on the two people who have meant the most to me.
“I mean, really. Why do you two insist on getting involved with me? I’m messy. A disaster. I can’t let you guys see me like this. I’m so embarrassed.” I wave my hands around and stop at what I’m wearing. Pulling the sheet up I rest the fabric underneath my arms and begin rubbing a knot forming in my right arm. I sit there and wait for an answer—any answer—half expecting them to realize what a waste of time I am and walk away. I can’t even look either of them in the eye anymore.
Ashamed doesn’t even come close to what I feel right now.
Jude speaks first.
“It’s simple, Stephanie.” His voice cracks and he watches me until I meet his gaze. “We love you.
You always fight for those you love.” I see tears welling up in his eyes. He steps off the bed and pats his pockets for keys and a wallet—distracting himself from the conversation at hand. I’d seen him do this once before when his brother was in an accident and he had to tell Emma. She studies him and turns to me, finishing his thought.
“Stephanie, no one should have to go through what you deal with on a day-to-day basis. No one.
We decided a long time ago we didn’t want to be the couple who closes our eyes to what’s going on around us. And then you came along—hard to ignore and absolutely easy to love.”
I start to smile and stop when the skin around my lip starts to crack open from the punch the day before. Emma frowns and glances at Jude before focusing her attention on me. She exhales and slaps her legs. The decision had been made, whatever it was, I’ve seen that look before.
“Stephanie. Come on, let’s go to the hospital.”
I place my head in my hands and groan. I know what’s going to happen.
“How is this even going to work? You guys realize you aren’t my legal guardians. The hospital is going to call my parents and then my dad is going to come up - pretending to be concerned but secretly seething and waiting for a moment to pay me back. And it will be worse. It’s always worse when others get involved.”
The fear starts pulsing then—the fear of my father finding me, of living in this life one more day, of seeing his eyes grow into slits behind the backs of those he’s tricked into believing his charm. My hands start to shake and I wring them so I don’t start pulling out my hair.
Jude slips his arms underneath my legs and carries me out of the room.
“You don’t have a choice, Stephanie. We’re going whether you want to or not. Right now, your health is our priority. I’ll deal with your father when the time comes.”
I bury my head in his chest and sigh. There’s not much I can do. He’s right. I allow myself a brief moment of peace and rest in the fact I have people who care so much for my well being. And I believe Jude. For some reason I know if anyone can deal with my father, it will be him.
“Hey, Kevin,” Jude calls as he walks into the living room carrying me. Kevin starts and pops up and off the couch with a burst of energy—rearranging his clothes and patting his hair and stuffing his cell phone in his pocket.
“What’s up?” He notices Jude carrying me and rushes over. “Is everything okay? What’s going on? Where are we taking her?”
Jude manages to get one of his hands free long enough to place it on Kevin’s shoulder to stop his constant questions. “She’s fine. I just wanted you to know we’re taking her to the hospital. You’re welcome to hitch a ride if you want.”
My voice cracks as I try to fit in a question of my own. “Kevin, who were you texting?”
He glances at Jude and looks back at me with a smile, “My mom. She texted me because she got a call from the school about me missing classes. I told her I was on a job shadowing day with Jude.”
Emma walks around the corner with Benjamin. “Alright. I’m ready.” She opens the front door and shivers against the cold. Benjamin sits quietly playing with his hands in his bugaboo.
Jude turns and makes his way out the door. “Kevin, will you grab a blanket for Stephanie?”
I hear Kevin in the background and the swoosh of fabric before he crosses in front of Jude and places a warm fleece over my bare skin. I meet his gaze and give him a half-hearted smile.
“Thanks.”
He brushes my hair out of my eyes. “No problem. Here. Let me open the door.”
Jude places me delicately in the backseat of their Tahoe and Kevin runs around to the other side and slides in next to me, grabbing my hand as soon as he’s able. Leaning over, he whispers in my ear.
“Don’t worry. I’m not leaving your side any time soon.”
I turn and look at him, my eyes holding all the response I can handle at the moment. Emma buckles Benjamin into his car seat and maneuvers herself into the front. With all of the commotion around me, I barely even notice how exhausted I am. Within minutes of Jude starting the car, I’m asleep.
Chapter Twenty
Five minutes before we take the exit, Jude turns to Emma. I wake up before he speaks.
“Em, will you send Derrick a text and let him know we’re almost there? He mentioned to let him know so he could wrap up whatever he was doing and meet us at the front.”
Emma nods and pulls his phone from his pocket.
“Is there going to be a woman in the room with them? I trust Derrick, but these tests are pretty invasive.”
Jude glances at me from the rearview mirror before answering Emma. “I believe so.”
Kevin glances at me and squints his eyes. “What does he mean...
invasive?”
“They’re talking about a rape kit, Kevin.” I whisper, but the emotion is evident. Kevin leans back and rests his chin in his hand, propped up on the windowsill. He sits there for the rest of the trip, staring out the window.