Marianne stared at her. ‘Isn’t that a bit drastic?’
‘I don’t think so. It must cost a fortune to heat and think of what you’d save on the mortgage.’
‘I suppose,’ Marianne said, trying to remember exactly what Johnny had said about losing the house.
Would it be better to sell it before Matthews and Baldwin took possession of it? Was she even allowed to? She’d have to make a list of questions to ask Johnny, but she had a feeling that he was right; she needed legal advice. The thought of leaving the large, four-bedroom, red-brick house in Asgard Court didn’t upset her that much; she had never really felt at home here. She figured that had more to do with Dominic than the house or its stunning location. He had only bought the property because it was a good investment and a worthy address of a junior partner. Marianne had been so caught up with Andrew’s imminent birth that she had gone along with the purchase. It was only months later that she realized how quiet and reserved the neighbourhood was and that there were no women her age and no small children. In recent years she had come to associate the house with the cold, hard, abusive stranger her husband had become.
She knew for a fact that although Dot enjoyed the pretty garden and the lovely walks, she missed the bustling, noisy estate in Kilbarrack where she’d spent her entire married life. It had been hard to leave her home but even after the move to Howth, Dot spent most of her spare time with her old neighbours and friends and couldn’t bring herself to sell her home. Instead she rented it out to a couple of student nurses, ignoring Dominic’s warning that they would probably wreck the place and she would be better to sell and have a nest egg for her old age. But the nurses were two quiet girls from Roscommon who kept the house immaculate and soon became popular with the neighbours as they were always quick to run errands and dole out medical advice.
‘So? What do you think?’ Dot was looking at her expectantly.
Marianne looked at her. ‘Sorry?’
‘About selling?’
‘It would be madness to do that now with the property market in the state it’s in,’ she said, thinking on her feet while realizing it was true. ‘The house is probably only worth half what it was when we bought it.’
‘That’s true; I hadn’t thought of that. Still . . .’ Dot broke off, looking thoughtful.
‘Yes?’ Marianne prompted.
‘Well, I’m just thinking; you could do what I did, you could rent this place out.’
‘And take somewhere smaller? It’s an idea.’
‘No, we could move into my house and it wouldn’t cost us a penny.’ Dot’s eyes danced at the thought of going home. ‘Nora and Eileen will be moving out in two months.’
‘They’re moving out? I thought they were happy there,’ Marianne said, playing for time; she didn’t know quite how she felt about Dot’s brainwave.
‘They are, but they miss their families and now that they’ve qualified they’re taking up jobs closer to home. So, what do you think?’
‘I don’t know, Dot,’ Marianne hesitated.
Leaving here was one thing; moving into her mother-in-law’s three-bedroom terrace house, quite another. Although they got on well, two strong women sharing a small kitchen might be a challenge.
‘It would be an awful trek for school every day,’ she pointed out; it was the first excuse she could think of. Dot didn’t respond and she looked over to find the woman watching her, pity in her eyes. ‘What?’
‘Marianne, love, you’ll have to take them out of that school. You can’t afford to pay those fees any more.’
She was right, Marianne realized, the knot in her stomach tightening. The children would have to leave their exclusive private school. It was one of the most expensive in Dublin and the fees would be even higher once Kate moved into the secondary level. Marianne’s stiff upper lip deserted her and she felt her eyes well up. Immediately Dot clutched her hand.
‘Now, stop that, love. Those kids would thrive anywhere and the little school around the corner from my house has a great reputation. Imagine, we’d be able to walk them there and back instead of sitting in traffic and wasting money on petrol.’
Marianne swallowed back her tears and nodded. It did make sense. Life had to change and drastically. She winced as her gut clenched and twisted again.
‘So, what do you think?’ Dot watched her expectantly.
‘It’s a lot to take in, Dot. Let me have a think about it and talk to Johnny. I need to find out more about exactly where I stand.’ Marianne checked her watch and stood up. ‘I’d better get the kids and you had better rescue your apple tart.’
‘Damn and blast!’ Dot hopped to her feet, grabbed the oven gloves and opened the oven door.
‘See you later,’ Marianne smiled, picking up her keys and bag and going to get her children.
What would they make of all this, she wondered as she popped another indigestion tablet into her mouth and swung the car out onto the main road. She had assured them that life would go on as before. How would she explain these drastic changes to their lives? Moving house and changing school were both unsettling experiences, but the two together so soon after their father’s death would be bound to upset them. She would also have to sell Dominic’s Mercedes jeep and bring her old Golf back into service. Suddenly Marianne felt scared and vulnerable. Dominic had provided for them all and she’d never had to think, let alone worry, about money. Yet it turned out that he couldn’t even do that properly. She felt anger bubble up inside of her at his selfishness. How could a man in his position not make proper provision for the future and what had turned him into a crook? He must have been a lot sicker than she realized, although she knew that if he was here right now she’d quite probably punch him.
But there was no time for self-pity, she had a family to look after, and of course she would cope; she didn’t have much choice. She had been a damn good manager at Treacy Travel; looking after four people couldn’t be all that difficult. Bringing in some money, though, now that would be a challenge. Marianne wasn’t convinced that she’d be able to find a job. Still, she wasn’t proud and she could scrub floors as well as the next woman. If that’s what it took to put food on the table then she’d do it, she thought, and popped another indigestion tablet into her mouth.
She was hovering near the school gate, keeping a distance from the other mothers – she wasn’t up to chit-chat today – and re-playing her conversation with Adrian Matthews, when Kate emerged followed by a furious, red-faced Andrew with the school principal by his side. Marianne sighed as she met the woman’s eyes. ‘Hello, Miss Donohue, is everything okay?’
‘I’m afraid not, Mrs Thomson. Andrew bit one of the other children today.’
‘Andrew!’ Marianne looked at her son, horrified. Though he had become a handful at home, her son had always got on well with his school friends; in fact, he was probably the most popular child in the class.
‘She started it,’ Andrew protested.
‘She? You bit a girl?’ His sister looked at him in disgust.
‘Kate, take your brother out to the car, please.’ Marianne handed over the keys. ‘Andrew, what do you say to Miss Donohue?’
‘It wasn’t me—’
‘Andrew!’
‘Sorry,’ he muttered, scuffing the ground with his shoe.
‘The car,’ Marianne nodded to Kate before turning back to the principal. ‘I am so sorry, is the other child all right?’
‘She’s fine but obviously I had to make it very clear to him that such behaviour was not acceptable.’
‘You can be sure I will punish him.’
‘I’m not sure you should.’
‘Pardon?’
‘Of course I’d like you to reiterate that what he did was wrong but I think this is probably a good opportunity to talk to him about the anger he’s feeling.’
‘Anger?’
‘It’s very common for children, especially in Andrew’s age group, to feel angry when they lose a parent, be it through death or divorce. They don’t fully understand what’s going on but they don’t like it and they hit out. Andrew did that literally today. I’m sure it’s a one-off; he is usually such a good-natured child. In a way it’s good that he’s acting out his emotions rather than keeping them all pent up inside.’
Marianne gulped. ‘Like Kate, you mean.’
‘Yes,’ the principal acknowledged. ‘We may need to keep an eye on her but she’s an intelligent, sensible child. She will get there but it may take time.’
‘Is there anything I should be doing? I try to get her to talk but she seems to grow more distant every day.’ Marianne swallowed back her tears.
Miss Donohue put a hand on her arm. ‘Right now she’s probably watching you like a hawk, terrified that you’re going to die too.’
‘She does seem nervous when I go out alone,’ Marianne agreed. It hadn’t occurred to her that fear might be behind the reason Kate gave her the third degree every time she left the house alone.
‘Which makes perfect sense if you think about it. Your husband’s death was so sudden; one minute he was there, then he was gone. It’s not surprising that she would worry that the same thing could happen to you. We operate the Rainbows and Sunbeams programmes, are you familiar with them?’
‘It’s therapy for children trying to cope with death and divorce, isn’t it? Do you think that’s what Kate needs?’ The thought scared Marianne; was her daughter really that traumatized? Why couldn’t she just talk to her mother?
‘No, I really don’t. The programme is aimed at children who are still struggling after a year or so. They get to talk and share with other children going through similar experiences. I just wanted you to be aware of it but I think that between you and your mother-in-law, Kate and Andrew will be just fine by then. And do try not to take it personally if Kate doesn’t talk to you,’ she said, putting a hand on Marianne’s arm. ‘She loves you and is probably afraid of upsetting you; you’re her whole world now.’
‘That never occurred to me either,’ Marianne admitted, shaking her head, ‘but of course it makes sense.’
‘Try not to worry. Just spend plenty of time together and I’m sure she will be just fine.’
‘And Andrew?’
Miss Donohue smiled. ‘He is attention seeking and using bad behaviour and cursing to get it. I think lots of nice cuddles from his mum should do the trick, and give him time.’
‘I didn’t know he was using bad language in school,’ Marianne groaned.
‘It’s under control,’ the principal assured her. ‘He’s a good boy, we know that and we make allowances.’
Marianne smiled. ‘I’m very grateful.’
‘It’s the least we can do,’ the woman said, her eyes full of sympathy.
Marianne knew she should say that the children would be leaving school soon, but she was afraid that would tip her over the edge and she didn’t want her children to witness her bawling her eyes out. It could wait until another day. She thanked the principal again and hurried back to the car.
‘She started it,’ Andrew said the second she got into the car.
Marianne met his eyes in the rear-view mirror. ‘I believe you.’
Her son’s eyes widened in surprise. He looked over at his sister who simply shrugged. ‘Does that mean I don’t get a punishment?’
‘No punishment.’ Marianne pulled into traffic and headed for home.
‘That’s not fair,’ Kate complained. ‘You always punish me if I’m in trouble at school.’
‘Andrew wasn’t in trouble.’
‘But—’
‘Leave it, Kate, please. Do you have much homework to do?’
‘No, only a couple of maths questions.’
‘And you, Andrew?’
‘I have two pages to read but I want to do it with Granny.’
‘In that case, let’s go to the playground.’
Marianne watched Kate push Andrew on the swing and smiled at his squeals of delight as he climbed higher and higher. For their sake, she decided, she would put her own doubts aside, rent out the house and move to Dot’s. Even if she did manage to get a job, she couldn’t earn anything like Dominic had and between food, clothes, electricity and trying to put a little by for the future, her income would soon be swallowed up. And though it might take time for her to adjust to living at Dot’s, it would be nice for the children to have playmates nearby. Feeling more optimistic, she called to them.
‘Come on, kids, let’s go and get some fish and chips for dinner and surprise Granny.’
The children were happy and chattering when they burst into the kitchen and Dot raised an eyebrow at Marianne who simply smiled. ‘We decided to treat ourselves; you hadn’t started cooking, had you?’
‘I was about to put a cottage pie in the oven but it will taste just as good tomorrow, and I must say that smells gorgeous.’ She sniffed the air. ‘Is it a nice curry?’
Andrew giggled. ‘No, Granny! It’s your favourite: cod and chips.’
‘And fresh squishy bread to make butties,’ Kate said, hurrying to get the cutlery.
‘’Tis a feast!’ Dot tousled Andrew’s hair before going to put on the kettle.
‘I thought we deserved a treat,’ Marianne said as she divided the food onto four plates.
‘We do indeed.’ Dot poured glasses of milk for the children. ‘Speaking of which, I thought I would take you two over to my house tomorrow.’
Kate frowned. ‘How’s that a treat?’
‘Kate, don’t be cheeky,’ Marianne said with a frown.
‘Sorry.’
‘It’s a treat because there’s a street party on.’
‘What’s a street party?’ Andrew asked through a mouthful of chips.
‘Don’t speak with your mouth full,’ Marianne and Dot said at the same time and laughed.
‘Well, all the neighbours get together and set up tables of lovely food and drinks and we have music and dancing and party games.’
Andrew’s eyes lit up. ‘Oh, cool, can we go, Mummy?’
Marianne didn’t know whether to feel grateful or annoyed with her mother-in-law. It was a good idea to introduce the children to the neighbourhood but she didn’t like Dot springing this on her. Was it a sign of what was to come when Dot was back on her own patch?
‘Can we, Mum?’
She looked across at her daughter who had cheered up dramatically. ‘Sure, sounds like it would be fun and I have some errands to run anyway.’
Andrew’s smile faded and his lips turned down. ‘But I don’t want to go without you.’