Every Witch Way But Wicked (A Wicked Witches of the Midwest Mystery) (19 page)

He must be joking. “Zero.”

“That’s what I thought,” Landon blew out a sigh. “Come on.”

Clove and I hurriedly started climbing the hill that led to the overlook. Landon was right behind us, but he didn’t look thrilled with our configuration. “Let me be in front,” Landon argued.

“Why?”

“I’m the one with a gun,” he said simply.

Clove and I exchanged a look. “He has a point,” she said.

We separated and let him in front of us. We watched him expectantly. “Well, where do I go?” He barked.

“How can you be frustrated with us?” I grumbled. Landon took off in the direction I pointed.

“How far?”

“About a mile.”

“Why do I feel that going into the wilderness with you two is a bad idea?”

“I have no idea,” I replied angrily. “If I realized you were going to be this big of a baby, I would have called Chief Terry.”

“Why didn’t you?” Landon had set a quick pace, but he slowed slightly when he asked the question. He obviously wanted to hear my answer.

“I don’t know,” I admitted truthfully. “You were the first person that popped into my mind.”

Landon sighed. “Under other circumstances, I might find that flattering. Since we may be going to save your cousin from a possible murderer, I can’t decide how I feel about that. I guess I’ll figure it out later. Come on.”

It didn’t take us very long to get to the overlook – mostly because we all sensed the urgency of our endeavor. When we got close, Landon stilled us by holding up his hand in what looked like some weird military gesture. I swear, it was the exact same gesture Arnold Schwarzenegger used in
Predator
– and no, I don’t watch too many movies.

“Wait here,” he whispered.

“What? No,” I protested wildly.

“Just let me make sure they’re there and nothing bad has happened,” Landon pleaded.

I blew out a frustrated sigh. “Fine.”

Landon moved away from us, glancing back twice to make sure we were really staying where he had left us and not rushing off to certain death when his back was turned.

“We’re waiting here?” Clove looked surprised.

“Of course not,” I scoffed. “We’re just waiting for him to move out of our sightline. Waiting here? Aunt Tillie would have a fit.”

“Oh,” Clove said in obvious relief. “I didn’t think you’d just sit here.”

When I was sure that Landon couldn’t see or hear us, I led Clove around the other side of the bluff. There was a narrow path; rutted with roots and errant stones making the trek perilous, and we followed it until we came to the small clearing on the top of the bluff.

We pulled up short when we heard voices.

“What the hell are you doing, you freak?” Thistle sounded pissed. “Are you trying to kill me?”

Clove and I charged into the clearing ready to do great bodily harm to Marcus – with our bare hands if need be -- but stopped when the scene before us became clear. Thistle and Marcus were stretched out on a blanket on the ground. Thistle’s hair was obviously mussed – and while her shirt was still on, her bra was cast to the side of the blanket haphazardly. They were both in a sitting position and glaring at Landon, who had pulled his gun and had it trained on the two of them.

“Are you going to shoot him?” Clove asked.

“For what? Taking her bra off in a public place?” Landon holstered his gun, but he was still watching Marcus suspiciously.

“What are you all doing here?” Thistle asked angrily, swiveling her head from Landon on one side to Clove and me on the other.

“Saving you,” I offered lamely.

“From what? An orgasm?”

Marcus’ cheeks reddened in embarrassment. I couldn’t help but notice Landon was suddenly looking in any direction but Thistle’s as well.

I opened my mouth to say something, but I didn’t know what to say so I turned to Clove for help. “We were worried he brought you up here to kill you,” Clove admitted.

Yep, that would help.

Landon rolled his eyes. I thought I heard him mutter the word unbelievable, but I couldn’t be sure.

“Why would Marcus try to kill me?” Thistle asked in abject disbelief.

“Well,” I hedged. “Marcus’ father served with Myron in Iraq and we thought he might have been involved in the gold heist,” I blurted out.

Landon shook his head dramatically. “Don’t tell him that.”

“Why? It’s the truth.”

“So you think that I killed Myron for money I didn’t even know about?” Marcus looked shocked. “I thought that was always some weird town rumor. Why would I possibly think that was real?”

“No,” I said hurriedly, shrinking under Thistle’s venomous glare. “I just . . . I just . . . “

“You just overreacted,” Thistle supplied. “Like you always do.”

“I might have overreacted,” I admitted sheepishly. “I just got worried when I called the inn and my mom said you guys went off on a picnic.”

“You told your mom?” Thistle looked furious again. “She’ll tell my mom and we’re going to have an international incident on our hands, you idiot!”

“She was just looking out for you,” Landon interjected. “You should be happy she cares enough not to let you die. Given your attitude, I would have just let you come up here with a murderer.”

“Yeah,” Thistle barked out sarcastically. “That’s just what I was thinking.”

“I’m not a murderer,” Marcus said quietly.

“Of course you’re not,” Thistle patted his hand sympathetically.

“We have three suspects,” Landon said calmly. “Marcus is one of them.”

“Who are the other two?” Thistle asked curiously.

“Ken Trask and Brian Kelly,” I supplied.

“Why are you telling them that?” Landon asked in obvious frustration.

I shrugged. I told them everything. It had never occurred to me not to tell them, quite frankly.

Thistle considered it a minute. “It has to be Brian Kelly. He’s a tool.”

“That’s what I said,” Landon agreed. “We were questioning him when Bay called and said you’d been kidnapped.”

“I did not say she was kidnapped,” I rounded on him angrily. “Don’t exaggerate. You were as worried as I was.”

Landon shrugged noncommittally. “I still blame you.”

Whatever.

A sudden commotion on the path behind us caused everyone to shift their attention in that direction. I wasn’t surprised to see my mom and aunts – Aunt Tillie included – come rushing into the clearing. I was surprised to see Aunt Tillie holding a pitchfork, however. Where the Hecate had she found that?

“Unhand her, you rogue,” Aunt Tillie ordered, brandishing the pitchfork in Marcus’ direction threateningly.

“It’s okay, Aunt Tillie,” I said tiredly. “Marcus isn’t trying to kill Thistle.” At least we didn’t think so at this point.

“Where did you get that?” Landon asked, looking at the pitchfork.

“We were in a hurry,” Aunt Tillie sniffed. “I couldn’t remember where I hid my gun.”

“You have a gun?” Landon asked in disbelief. “What moron would give you a gun?”

“I did,” Aunt Tillie said, casting a dark look in my mother’s direction. “Someone hid it on me, though.”

That was probably a smart move.

“Do you have a permit for a gun?” Landon asked. I didn’t think he wanted a truthful answer to that.

“Don’t you worry about that copper,” Aunt Tillie shot back. “It’s none of your concern.”

“As a member of law enforcement, it is my concern,” he corrected her. “You have to have a permit for a gun, and if you have one, then someone should lose their job because they clearly don’t know the parameters for giving out gun permits.”

“Are you telling me you would take away an old lady’s only source of protection?” Aunt Tillie challenged him. It was hard to find her scary with the ridiculous sunglasses, though.

I glanced at Landon to see if he would back down. It could go either way at this point.

“You don’t look like you need a gun,” Landon pointed out, gesturing to the pitchfork, which was still cocked in Marcus’ direction.

“I improvised.”

“I guess I should just be happy that you can’t get a car up here, or you would have run him over,” Landon grumbled.

I turned to my mom and aunts expectantly. “What are you guys doing here?”

“You told us Thistle was in danger. We figured out she was up here and came to save her,” my mom said simply.

“I didn’t say she was in danger,” I said. “I said I needed to find her.”

“No, you said she might be picnicking with a murderer,” my mom countered. “Don’t try to pretend you didn’t. You overreacted and now you’re trying to blame it on us.”

“I did not!”

“She has always been an alarmist,” Marnie explained to Landon. “As a child she was convinced Bigfoot was in the woods and refused to get near them for three straight months.”

“Wasn’t that after she saw the Bigfoot episode of
MacGyver
?” Twila asked.

“I think so,” Marnie nodded.

“It was worse when we took her to the ocean and she wouldn’t even put a toe in because she was convinced
Jaws
was going to eat her,” my mom supplied. “That was the worst vacation ever.”

“Do you guys have to tell him all of my embarrassing stories?”

“These aren’t even the worst,” my mom reminded me knowingly.

“Yeah,” Marnie agreed. “We didn’t even tell him how you were convinced you could turn into the Hulk and smash Aunt Tillie if you just got mad enough when you were ten.”

I still hadn’t been proven wrong on that.

“Or how about the time she thought the china doll was stalking her?” Twila giggled.

“It was!” I rounded on Twila angrily. “It was watching me when I slept.”

“You just didn’t like it because Clove told you that old ghost story about a china doll scratching eyes out and you freaked,” Marnie said.

“It was watching me,” I explained to Landon.

“She started hiding it all over the house,” my mom said. “I would find it in the hamper, in the cupboards, in the closets.”

“And you kept putting it back in my room,” I said bitterly.

“I thought you would get over it,” my mom clucked suspiciously. “Finally, one day, we came home and found her beating its face in on the pavement in front of the inn.”

Landon glanced at me. “You killed the doll?”

“It was evil.”

“It was an antique,” my mom corrected me.

“Then you should have taken better care of it.”

“Aunt Tillie told her it was cursed,” Thistle interjected, suddenly remembering. “She told her that the doll could eat her soul during the night if she wasn’t careful.”

“Bay thought it was true because the doll looked exactly like her,” Clove agreed. “It was a creepy doll.”

“Why would you tell her that?” My mom turned on Aunt Tillie. “You know she freaks out over the strangest things?”

“She was bugging me when I was watching my stories,” Aunt Tillie looked away quickly. “I was just trying to get her to shut up.”

“I put that thing in the compost bin and it still showed up back in my room,” I said angrily. “It was evil.”

Landon shook his head. “It’s over now. Let’s move on.”

Aunt Tillie finally lowered the pitchfork and turned to Thistle seriously. “I’m gad you weren’t murdered.”

“I’m glad I wasn’t murdered, too,” Thistle grumbled.

My mom still wasn’t done with the china doll conversation. “Aunt Tillie kept finding the doll and putting it back in your room. It’s not like it walked back in your room on its own.”

“She said she wasn’t,” I protested.

“And you believed her?” Marnie asked dubiously. “It’s your Aunt Tillie. Where do you think you three learned to lie so well from?”

I knew it!

“Why aren’t you wearing a bra?” Aunt Tillie asked suddenly, trying to divert my wrath and direct attention back to Thistle.

“She’s not wearing a bra?” Twila looked scandalized. “In public?”

Thistle turned to me darkly. “I’m going to make you pay for this. You think that doll was bad? You haven’t seen anything yet.”

Once everything had settled down, which took a lot of effort, Clove left with Marcus and Thistle, and my mom and aunts decided to walk back to the inn, leaving Aunt Tillie with me.

“Why aren’t you taking her with you?” I whined.

“She shouldn’t have to walk all that way back,” my mom pointed out. “She’s elderly. It’s not good to tire her out for no good reason at her age.”

“You just want a break from her, “ I grumbled.

Aunt Tillie reached up and smacked me on the back of my head. “Respect your elders.”

Landon smiled despite himself. “It’s probably a good idea for her to go with us anyway,” he said. “It will give me a chance to talk to her about her gun.”