Chapter 23
Lola
B
EING ACCUSED OF FOOLING AROUND WITH ANOTHER WOMAN'S
man was bad enough, whether it was true or not. Had I not been as alert and lucky as I had been the day that woman came to the house looking for Joan, I don't know what might have happened to herâor to me. Every now and then, I think about how that large woman could easily have mowed me down and stormed Bertha's house the same way Libby had just done.
If she had accused me of fucking the fat, lazy cat she rescued from the animal shelter last month, I could not have been more stunned. Other than Marshall and Godzilla, Jeffrey was the last male on the planet I wanted to have sex with. I loved him to death, but I was no more attracted to him than I was to a
cat
! “Huh?” was all I could say.
“Don't you stand there and deny it! I know all about it! He told me all about the pizza dates and other dates you and him went onâbut only after I asked him! I always knew you were a little on the slutty side, but I never expected something this low and nasty from you! And after all my mama has done for your ass! You ought to be ashamed of yourself, Lola Poole!”
Words could not describe the look on Libby's face. On the anger scale from one to ten, I rated her eleven. And words seemed to be stuck in my mouth. All I could do at first was babble. “IâIâ”
She cut me off sharply, shaking her fist at me. “What do you have to say for your nasty self?”
I winced and shook my head so hard it felt like marbles were inside rattling and bouncing off my brain. I was dumbfounded “I don't know what to say. You think me and Jeffrey areâ” Before I could finish my sentence this time, she lunged at me.
For the next two or three minutes, she was on me like a wildcat, biting my arm, pulling my hair, and punching me in the face. She bit my fingers when I tried to pry hers from around my arm. She suddenly stood stock-still and started cussing at me at the top of her voice. “You no-good whore! You nasty, skanky, sex-crazed bitch! I hope you didn't give my husband herpes or something worse!”
I glared at her in stunned disbelief as I rubbed the teeth prints she'd left on my arm. I was aching in every spot where she had bitten, punched, scratched, and mauled me. “I don't know what the hell you are talking about!” I hollered.
All these years I had endured Libby's hostile attitude and I had managed to remain cool. Well, I could no longer say that. Just as she was about to bite me again, I took a very deep breath, reared back, and punched her in the stomach so hard she stumbled all the way across the room and hit the wall with a thud.
“You . . . you hit me,” she whimpered as she slid to the floor with a horrified look on her face. “I can't believe you hit me!”
“You're damn right I hit you and I will hit you again if I have to! What did you expect?” I shrieked. “Did you think I was going to stand here and let you whup my ass without trying to defend myself? You've got some fucking nerve coming up in here and accusing me of sleeping with your husband and attacking me!” I was sizzling with rage. I stomped across the floor and stood over her with my fist still balled.
“Stop lying, whore! You
have
been sleeping with my husband!” she screeched as she rubbed her stomach.
“Who told you that? Jeffrey is like a brother to me and he's never shown any romantic interest in me. Even if he had, I would never sleep with him, or any other married man!”
“You're a damn slut and a damn liar! Never mind who told me! I know all about it! How long did you think you could get away with this shit before I found out? I know you were with him last night!”
My head felt like it had been turned upside down. I couldn't imagine who had told Libby that I was sleeping with Jeffrey. Then it dawned on me. Last night when he hugged me at the door, he must have held me in his embrace for a full minuteâa long time for a hug. That must have looked pretty intimate to some of my neighbors. I had noticed a few peeping from their windows. Hester Springer, one of Libby's few friends, who was just as much of a bitch as she was, lived directly across the street from Bertha's house. She instigated more conflicts and other confusion among the people on our block than anyone else I knew.
“Did Hester tell you she saw me and Jeffrey together last night?”
“What if she did? Last night is not the first time you were caught with my husband!”
I stared at Libby with my mouth hanging open. “What do you mean âcaught'? Nobody âcaught' me doing anything with your husband. Did you ask him?”
“Yes, I asked him and he denied it too. But I'm no fool! Yes, Hester did tell me she saw you and my Jeffrey together last night, and she wasn't the only one. I got information from other people as well. I ran into Edie Caruso just this morning. She told me how often you and Jeffrey come into the pizzeria that her grandfather owns and snuggled up in a booth like newlyweds.”
“Yes, Jeffrey has taken me out to eat several times. He's even taken me to the movies a few times. But we've never âsnuggled up' anywhere. I've never âsnuggled up' with any other man in public either! Your husband was just trying to be nice to me, since you and Marshall treat me like a piece of shit,” I explained.
“That's because you are a piece of shit!” Libby slowly rose up off the floor, rubbing her stomach some more. “You think I believe you?”
“You need to leave,” I advised. That was probably the last thing I should have said to her.
She looked at me like I had turned into the devil himself. “Me leave? Hah! You've got some fucking nerve telling me
I
need to leave! This is my mama's house, which your displaced, orphaned ass has been living in rent-free for years!”
“Is that what this is
really
about? You have a problem with me living here? If you had said something about that before, I'd have been long gone by now and you wouldn't be feeling the pain of my fist. I can be up out of here in fifteen minutes,” I said evenly. “I've been wanting to leave for a long time, anyway, and now is as good a time as any. Tell Bertha I'll let her know where I'll be staying as soon as I get settledâ” Before I could say another word, the telephone rang. I scurried over to the stand at the end of the couch and grabbed it. “Hello!” I yelled.
“Lola, thank God you answered!” It was Jeffrey on the other end. His voice was hoarse and he was breathing hard. “Did you get my message?”
“What message?”
“I left you one about half an hour ago.”
“I haven't retrieved any yet.”
“Is Libby there? She's on the warpath.” Jeffrey was talking so fast his words ran together. I could tell from the tone of his voice that he was frantic. “She's got a crazy notion that you and I are having an affair! I left you a message telling you that she had called me up at work and said she was coming over there to have it out with you! She asked if it was true that I'd been taking you out and I told her that it was. I called you as soon as I got off the phone with her.”
“Yeah, she's here. She's been here for a few minutes,” I muttered. “She's been hearing all kinds of shit about you and me having an affair. I told her it was not true. She didn't believe me, though.”
“Did she . . . Did she hurt you?”
“No, not really. I'm not sure I can say the same for her. . . .”
“Oh, shit!”
“I didn't hurt her too much, but if you don't get here in time, she might come at me again and I am not going to be responsible for my actions.”
“I'll see you in a few minutes.” Jeffrey hung up and I placed the telephone back into its cradle. Libby was leaning against the wall brushing off her clothes, glaring at me like she wanted to attack me again.
“Your husband is on his way,” I snapped. In a much calmer voice, I added, “In the meantime, I suggest you keep your hands to yourself before somebody gets hurt real bad.”
The expression on Libby's face was priceless. I had never seen her look more stunned. “Are you threatening me?”
“Yes, I'm threatening you!” I shrieked, wagging my finger in her direction. I also stomped my foot and gave her the most hostile look I could manage.
Now there was a dazed look on her face. She stared at me in silence for a few seconds. What she said next surprised me. “Look . . . um . . . maybe I overreacted. You know I'm a reasonable woman.”
I couldn't believe my ears! I didn't know whether to laugh or cry because of what she'd just said. “Yeah, right,” I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm. “For the record, Libby, I know plenty of men. I don't have to mess with your husband! I wouldn't do that to you. And I would never do anything that trifling because I know how much it would hurt Bertha if she found out. But like I said, I can be out of this house in fifteen minutes. I don't have much to packâ”
“I . . . I can't lose my husband. My period is two weeks late, so I could be pregnant again already.”
My heart felt like it had dropped down to my feet. “Oh?” The fact that I had hit her in her stomach concerned me. I would not have hit her at all if I'd known she could be pregnant.
“You can get that scared look off your face. That little baby tap you just gave me didn't hurt me.”
“I'm sorry. But I'm especially sorry for you because I don't know what to do to get along with you. You have never liked me and I can't seem to do anything about that and I'm tired of trying.”
Libby held up her hand and actually smiled. “Look, uh . . . Mama really depends on you. I can't take her in and neither can my brother and we can't afford to hire somebody to come look after her. Besides, she's crazy about you. You don't have to move out. You're living here rent-free and I know you are not making much money at that pooh-butt grocery store. The only place you'd be able to afford is a shack on a backstreet or a rat-infested room in a cheap motel.”
“I could deal with that if I have to and I'm sure I'd eventually find somebody to share a decent place with,” I shot back.
Before I could say another word, and before she could respond, Jeffrey arrived. He immediately ran up to Libby and wrapped his arms around her.
“Baby, are you all right?” he began, jerking his head to look from her to me and back.
“This woman almost killed me,” she blubbered, trembling like a true victim. Snot and tears suddenly appeared and began to slide down her face. I was not surprised that she had turned on a dime. She had replaced her smile with a ferocious scowl. “Take me home before this
savage
jumps on me again!” she boomed.
“I will, honey. Baby, I swear to you, Lola and I are not having an affair!” Jeffrey exclaimed, looking at me again with an extremely apologetic look on his face. “I'm sorry about this, Lola. I assure you it won't happen again.” He glanced around. “Did Bertha . . .”
I held up my hand. “She's not here.”
“I don't think we should mention this misunderstanding to her,” he said with his eyes on Libby. She was writhing in his arms and moaning like she was already in labor. There was a helpless look on Jeffrey's face now. But the look on her face was the one that confused me. She had turned on another dime. She actually looked remorseful. In addition to a puppy dog expression, she surprised me again with another smile.
“Lola and I just have to figure out a way to get along, I guess,” Libby said in a demure voice I'd never heard her use. “I . . . I told her I'd overreacted. I had my doubts from the get-go because I
know
you're not Jeffrey's type, Lola. I've known him most of my life and he's never been attracted to women like you,” she whimpered.
“Uh, Lola, can we overlook what happened here today?” Jeffrey asked, looking like he was about to pass out. “Let's pretend this little incident never occurred. I mean, you know how the neighbors are. It's a good thing it took place inside, where they couldn't see or hear enough to call the cops.”
Libby appeared to have renewed her strength. Now instead of a whimper, her voice came out loud and clear. “I'd hate to get the police involved. The ones in this town take domestic abuse very seriously,” she pointed out, shooting a smug look in my direction.
I had never been in trouble with the police before in my life. Just the thought of me getting arrested for hitting a pregnant womanâeven though it had been self-defenseâmade my head swim. “I can forget any of this happened,” I said. My heart was racing and my blood was boiling. Even with Jeffrey present, I was prepared to defend myself again if I had to.
Libby's face looked like it had turned to stone. “Yeah,” she growled. Then she blinked hard and narrowed her eyes until they looked like slits. “This is over, as far as I'm concerned.”
“Let's keep this among ourselves. The three of us,” Jeffrey suggested.
“Marshall knows. I called him just before I left the house,” Libby said quickly. “He said he was going to straighten Lola out too.”
“Well, you can tell Marshall that there is nothing to straighten out!” I yelled. My ears were ringing and my chest felt like it was on fire. The longer Libby remained in my presence, the more miserable I felt. I almost wished that Jeffrey had not come in time, so I could have really whupped her ass. Had that happened, I knew there was no way I could have remained in Bertha's house.
“I'll deal with Marshall. He's got enough problems with his own marriage. We don't need to have him sticking his nose in ours.” Jeffrey shook his head. “How about a group hug?” he asked with a lopsided smile.