Everybody Falls (39 page)

She'd said something similar to me about the Tommy situation.

"I treated you badly when I was hurting," he continued. "Which was so wrong. So fucking wrong."

He looked again at the ring.

"Please accept it, Baby, if for no other reason than she wanted you to have it," he said softly.

My eyes moved from the beauty of his face back down to the ring.

"I promised her something," I confessed. "I promised Edie that I would be a part of your life. To help you when you stumbled. I believe her exact words were, 'Look out for my Jax'."

"I didn't help you keep that promise very well, did I?" he said with a self-deprecating chuckle. I glanced up and saw the smile leave his face. "I meant what I said, Lacey. I'll go away and not bother you anymore."

His eyes met mine and they were sad, so very sad. "But I will love you until I die."

I couldn't help my body as everything he'd said, everything he'd confessed, sunk deep within me. I stepped forward, closing that small distance between us and dropped my head to his chest as the tears streamed from my eyes.

"Hey," I heard him call quietly. He raised his arms and I felt one hand as it rubbed my back. "Oh, fuck. Lace? I didn't mean to make you cry. Honest. Oh shit. Baby?"

I raised my face to his and saw him angle down so he could look at me.

"I asked for something too, Jack. You might call it a prayer. I asked for the hurt to go away and the love to go away, too," I admitted on a whisper. "But, only one of them did."

He went completely motionless. "Which one?"

"The hurt," I acknowledged from a place deep, deep inside. If he could be honest, then I owed it to us both to do the same.

"Thank, Christ," he breathed. "But, wait. That means, ah…Lacey?"

His arms tightened around me and I raised my own to wrap around him, the ring clenched tightly in my fist.

"Yeah, honey. It does," I admitted.

We were quiet and his body slowly released its tension.

"Say it for me?" he begged, into that quiet morning air. "Please?"

"I love you, Jack."

Chapter 33

Jax felt his heart leap in his chest at her words. Words he thought he'd never fucking hear from her again in his life.

Without over thinking what he wanted to do, what he was
dying
to do, he bent his head. He moved slowly nearer to her face, his eyes on her beautiful mouth before he raised his eyes back to hers.

Would she let him?

His lips finally, lightly touched hers, and he closed his eyes at the feel of her mouth.

One of her arms moved up and curled around his neck as she pressed closer, adding more pressure before he felt her lips open slightly. That small motion was so totally Lacey and was a movement he knew signaled her acceptance, her acquiescence.

Oh, hell, yeah.

He slanted his mouth as his heart rate increased, opening his lips. Tenderly, he licked just the inside edge of hers as his tongue moved forward.

She moaned as she pressed against him even harder, their tongues touching and beginning their delicious, slow dance.

Time and place had no meaning for him as he lost himself in their kiss, pouring everything he hadn't said, everything he wanted to say into their mouth's joining. He had no clue how long they stood there, wrapped around each other, connected by their tongues' sweet twining.

Jax could've kissed her for-fucking-ever.

Lace, beneath his hands and against his mouth, felt like heaven and tasted of home.

She pulled away and his mind screamed at the loss of her mouth, her touch.

"I've got things in the oven," she explained, her breath hitching as she spoke. She turned her head and glanced into the shop. "I didn't hear the timer, did you?"

He released his hands as she moved away and his stomach dropped at the loss. She stopped and turned at the swinging half-doors of the kitchen, shooting him a glance. "Aren't you coming?"

"Yeah, Baby," he said, trying to get his body to move. "Right behind you."

She was already taking the trays out of the oven when he made his way to the Bakery's kitchen.

"Oops! Looks like these are ruined," she said, turning shining eyes and her amazing smile to him.

Jax glanced at the tray she was holding out. They looked fine to him.

"The oven must be broken," she giggled on a quiet note.

He glanced at her face, trying to understand what she was trying to say.

"Guess I'll have to close the shop for today. Just until the oven is fixed," she explained, dropping the tray on the big farmhouse table and pulling the other trays out of the oven.

Jax heard the timer ding and shot his eyes back to Lace.

"Could you lock the doors and put up the closed signs?" he heard her ask, the note of laughter still caught in her voice.

Wait…what?

She wasn't going to open today?

Still up in his head, still in the thrall of their kiss, Jax didn't get it. It wasn't until he shot the last lock, propped the last sign up in the old, boarded up window in back that it hit him.

Lacey was closing her business to spend time with him, the day with him.

Holy fuck.

She joined him in the small hallway, her thumbs flying on her cellphone before she shoved it in her hoodie's pocket.

"I needed to text Beth and Sarge. Tell them about the oven and how the bakery is closed today," she explained with a grin. "A whole day with nothing to do. Isn't that a shame?"

"A crying shame," he agreed, grinning back.

"What are your plans for today, Jax? Have you got time…" she started but he interrupted her quickly.

"Whatever plans I had just got cancelled," he said firmly, his heart beating so goddamn fast and hard.

"So, uhm…" she began.

"You want to go for a drive or something?" Jax asked.

"I'd rather go to the farm," she answered without hesitation.

He felt the smile bloom up from his heart before it hit his face.

Excellent choice.

"Let's hit it," he said, reaching for her hand.

They were quiet on the road out to the old farmhouse, the sound of the truck engine the only noise in the morning air. The air in the cab was filled with a building tension fed by their shared looks and smiles.

*.*.*.*.*

"I've made a few changes," Jax explained as he opened the passenger door and handed her down. "Turner used to do construction and, once the court said I was okay to handle my own shit, I decided to upgrade a bit."

He watched her eyes as they slid over the new flagstone patio that had been laid, covering what used to be the grassy area from the back porch to Grams' garden. He wondered what she thought about the patio furniture and gas grill that dotted the new space.

"I'm trying to learn how to cook," he mumbled, feeling his face heat. "I'm not very good with most of it, but I can grill."

Her hand squeezed his as she shot him a smile.

"It's really nice," she breathed.

"Come see the rest," he offered, holding the screen door open.

He saw her eyes begin to widen as they moved from the porch, now filled with wicker furniture and an upgraded laundry area, to the kitchen.

"Oh. My. God," he heard her breathe, her eyes roaming as she stepped through. Her gaze swept through the large expanse of the lower floor.

His eyes followed hers as she took in what was now the full space of the downstairs area. He hadn't like all the small rooms and had decided to open everything up as much as the weight-bearing walls would allow. With the exception of the bathroom, the whole of the first floor was now one big room, intersected with columns and a gleaming, breakfast bar.

Jax put his hands on her shoulders and turned her to the kitchen space.

"I didn't know shit about kitchen stuff so I called the chef we used to use in Malibu and asked about it. He told me what I needed to get and to have," he said, his lips against Lacey's ear. "Do you like it?"

"Oh. My. God," he heard her repeat, her hands now covering her mouth. He leaned over to see her expression, her shining eyes. "It's beautiful."

"Functional, too," he said. "The appliances are the best on the market."

He turned her to face him.

"I've been trying to make it a home, Lace. The more I learn about myself, the more I work towards becoming the person I want to be, the more this place comes together." He heard the hint of nervousness in his voice. "Change is hard. But, I'm trying."

Her arms stole around him and her head slid into the spot between his shoulder and neck.

"I know, honey," she whispered. And he knew she did. "You want to show me the upstairs?"

Their tour ended in the master bedroom, which had originally been covered in all sorts of flowered shit. It had taken him almost a full week just to remove the fucking wallpaper alone. But now, it was done in the sleek modern style that he'd discovered he liked.

He watched her as she moved further into the room, her eyes doing a slow sweep. Then returning to the three photos on one of the nightstands. Behind the frames was a small bud vase holding a stalk of freesia.

She swallowed thickly as she stepped around the bed and picked up one of the pictures. It was the only snap he had of Lacey by herself, the one captured on his cellphone when she'd been at the stove and laughing at something Grams had said.

She carefully put it down and picked up the next one which was a close up of Grams as she sat in one of the old webbed lawn chairs, her beautiful garden blurred in the background. He loved the soft, contented smile on Gram's face. A smile he mourned the loss of every goddamned day.

Lacey stroked the wood frame before looking up at him. "I still miss her."

"I know. I miss her, too," he sighed, staring into the crystalline blue of his girl's eyes.

She picked up the third photo, the one of him, Lace and Grams huddled together. The one the battle-ax of a home nurse had taken at his request in one of the last days. His girls were looking at each other and laughing while he had a hand on each of their shoulders as he pressed a kiss into the fluffy white hair of that wonderful old woman. It was a priceless picture, one that struck his heart deeply every time he looked at it.

Lacey sat on the edge of the bed and put the picture back in its place. Jax got caught in her wet, shining eyes and saw she was biting her lip.

Was she trying not to cry?

"Oh, hey. Lace? It's okay. It's all good, Baby. Please don't be upset," he murmured, sitting next to her and pulling her into him.

"It's just all so new," she confided into his shirt.

He nodded. "Yeah, it is. But, new isn't necessarily bad."

"I know," she muttered. "I just…"

"Lacey, just kiss me. Please?" he urged on a whisper.

"Oh, yes," he heard her breathe as her mouth moved to his.

And, just as before, as it had from the beginning, their kiss took on a life of its own. As their tongues danced, their hands came into play to stroke, to caress, to touch.

Soon, clothes became too confining, bared skin too alluring to ignore.

Their fingers rediscovered each other's bodies, enflaming and exciting as their fingers glided.

Touching wasn't enough, not nearly enough.

They wanted to taste, to savor one another and let their mouths move to lick and suck in an attempt to get closer, the effort bringing a primal tension between them.

He didn't know who was first bold enough to reach for the other between their legs, but once one did, the other followed.

"God, Lace, you're fucking soaked," he murmured against her lips, his fingers stroking along her swollen folds. He found the nub of her center and, pressing, he circled it before slipping a finger inside, moving his thumb to continue the pleasure in the way he knew she liked.

Her hips lifted and he heard her moan deeply.

"And you're so big, so wonderfully hard," she whispered back, her hand wrapped and shuttling on his length. "Please, Jack."

"Please what?" he asked, moving up to hold his lips on hers.

He saw her open her eyes and pulled back enough to watch her face.

"Fuck me, please," she implored and his cock flexed at everything he saw, everything he heard in the quiet of the room.

Jax raised himself up and reached for the nightstand drawer, pulling out a large box of condoms, still sealed in its cellophane. Lacey had lifted her head when he'd moved, but dropped her head back when she saw what he had in his hands.

She made a low noise in the back of her throat and he caught a glimpse of her as she draped an arm over her eyes.

"What?" he asked, trying desperately to find an opening in the plastic wrap of the box.

"You'll never get it open that way," she mumbled, one eye uncovered as she watched his increasingly frantic efforts.