Everything Carries Me to You (Axton and Leander Book 3) (50 page)

Leander smiled.

"Boom," he said, and hit the speaker phone button.

Dana looked up.

"Sarah," Leander said. "He's indisposed right now, but please say hello to Dana Weiss."

Axton screwed his eyes shut and concentrated on breathing.

"Hello, Mr. Weiss," came Sarah's voice, soft and somehow hollow on speaker phone. It was a little hard to hear her. "I see that you have Mr. Rhoden at a disadvantage there. I think you should let him up."

Leander pointed. Dana's head snapped up.

"Cameras," he said cheerfully. "You may have been too distracted to notice."

Axton took a deep breath and rippled back to human, still pinned under Dana's heavy paws, even though his neck was free.

"So should I explain?" Sarah asked.

"Allow me, please," Leander said.

Dana growled, low and uncertain.

"This is a live feed," Leander said. "If you kill me, we start broadcasting."

With a soft, continuous snarl, Dana began to change shapes again. Axton rolled away, still bleeding, but unconcerned.

"The car we crashed into you to pin you against the wall," Leander went on, "had a dashcam that was transmitting, so Sarah's seen you wrench your way free of that...and many more people could. Many more people would, should something happen to me in the near future. I built layers into the deadman's switch and it doesn't depend on Sarah, who I'm sure a man of your talents could find eventually, though isolating her might prove difficult."

Dana had finished turning human, though he stayed crouched down on the ground.

"No one would believe you," he said hoarsely. "You'd what, post a video of this on the internet? People would think it was a movie."

"A movie with a lot of male nudity," Sarah said.

Leander resolutely ignored her.

"I thought you might say that," he went on, "so no, it's not just the video. I've spent the past year and a half pinpointing likely werewolf settlements. I've confirmed about half of them. The coordinates will be included everywhere the video gets posted."

Dana breathed out very carefully.

"You think people would actually check?" he scoffed, but his voice sounded strained.

"Some people would," Leander said. "But how many of those people do there have to be? How many of them will liveblog the experience? How many more will join them? How many people need to believe before it's a problem? How many people are there out there who
want
to believe?"

Leander's eyes gleamed grey like gunmetal and he took a step forward.

"Best case scenario? You're looking at a forced mass migration with the bulk of your people in this country having to go to ground, having to lay low. Worst case scenario?"

"What the fuck is worse than that?" Dana asked.

Leander smiled. It was beautiful and terrible, and for the first time, Axton understood, bone deep, that love can be violent in all directions when threatened.

And yet--he would kiss that smile from Leander's lips, would eat it down hungrily to never see it again, would stay at this man's side forever or at least as long as they lived, even knowing what he was capable of.

Perhaps especially then. Axton wasn't sure which was more true.

"Worst case scenario," Leander said, "you've got the genocide you've been terrified of your entire life, Dana. You've got a return to the bad old days, except that we have cars and planes and tanks now, and precise GPS coordinates. And who knows? Maybe it won't be as easy and neat as a burning at the stake or getting drawn and quartered. Maybe it'll be scientists this time, instead of priests and judges. Maybe it'll be laboratory tests instead of forced confessions."

Everyone was silent.

Leander took Sarah off speakerphone.

"Hey, if I don't give you the passcode in half an hour, go for it," he said. "All right. Love you, too. Bye." He ended the call and looked up. "So," he said, louder. "What's it gonna be?"

Dana stood up slowly.

"What do you want?" he asked. "God's wounds, what do you fucking want?"

"For me and Ax to be left alone," Leander said. "To live our lives in peace. Together."

Axton staggered to his feet, eying Dana warily and joining Leander, standing at his side.

"You'd stay with him?" Dana asked Axton. "If he did that? If he betrayed all of us like that? You'd risk all of us dying?"

Axton hung his head.

"No one has to die," he said simply.

"I can't," Dana said. "Listen to me. I
cannot
make this deal."

"Damn shame," Leander said. "Genocide is very ugly."

Dana winced.

"I can't," he said, sounding dangerously close to begging. "If I let you two run off together, you're gonna get killed anyway."

"Given that you're ready to kill me, personally," Leander said mildly, "that's not so persu--"

"I don't want Ax to die!" Dana snapped. "Fuck you, man! Who gives a shit about you? But Ax, I can't fucking stand to see him get hurt."

"Oh, well, that makes me feel better," Leander said. "Here I was, starting to suspect that threatening you with the potential eradication of your species might be just a
bit
of an overreaction, but you're willing to risk the death of all your kind just because you can't let Axton go? When Ax doesn't even want to be with you? I feel like a very reasonable man, all of a sudden."

"You will get
killed
," Dana said. "Both of you. Tortured to death slowly. You alone dying swiftly by my hand would be merciful by comparison."

"Dana, it could take years before anyone else finds us out," Axton said, "if any of those cults still exist at all--"

"You two
cannot
be together," Dana said.

Leander glanced at Axton, who tensed but glanced into his eyes, then gave a quick nod and made his gaze flicker away.

Go for it
, that look said, even if it said it without words or enthusiasm.

"So we have to be separated?" Leander prompted.

"Yeah, you fucking idiot, that's what not together
means
," Dana said, taking a moment to shimmy into his jeans.

"And you feel you have to personally preside over this separation," Leander said. "You have to be involved?"

"How the hell else can I know you two stay apart?" Dana asked, but he was looking between Axton and Leander now, showing a growing discomfort. Dana had a predator's sense of danger and could feel that a trap was closing in around him again, but he couldn't tell what it was.

"So you have to take one of us back to your pack," Leander said.

"One of you?" Dana repeated. "What?"

"What if you took me instead?" Leander asked.

"The
fuck
would I do that for?" Dana responded, angry and bewildered.

"You get a little personal about Axton, if you know what I mean," Leander said.

Dana snarled warningly.

"After the coming out party you threw for him, it's not gonna play well with everyone if you drag him back," Leander said, "since you're supposed to hate him now. Your story starts to look a little flimsy, doesn't it?"

A low, rumbling growl was the only reply.

"Yeah, you know people are going to be like, 'why
is
Dana so obsessed with that guy?' And once they start asking questions, then--"

"Shut up," Dana said.

"And once people are wondering, watching--then they'll start to
look
. You can't hide the admiration in your eyes, Dana. You're just lucky no one's been looking for it yet. The way you look at Axton, the way you look away, the way you stand too close to him--"

"Shut
up
," Dana said. "You don't know that--"

"--it all gives you away," Leander said. "Everything gives you away. See. You should take me instead."

"And bringing the human part of the forbidden gay love affair is better how?" Dana asked.

"Well, unlike my lovely boyfriend here," Leander said, gesturing at Axton, "I am an excellent and accomplished liar. You come up with whatever story you want, whatever will work best, and I will back you up."

"No sudden crisis of integrity?" Dana asked. "Not sure I believe you. Not sure I can believe anyone, now."

"Well, it's not like I have a lifetime of lying about who I am to wound me," Leander said. "It's less general, less personal, in a way. I can do it. Besides, you'll be lending credence to my lie. You legitimately despise me, so we'll be a very believable pair."

"And what reason do you have to not ruin my life while you're there?" Dana asked.

"You'll be doing your best to keep me safe," Leander said. "I wouldn't endanger that. Clearly if I out you, my life is forfeit. You'd disembowel me."

"Yup," Dana said, with no small amount of satisfaction.

"Deadman's switch is still in play," Leander said. "No locking me in the basement. Keep me in good condition so I can enter the daily passcodes, and I'll be a model prisoner."

"You ain't objecting to this?" Dana asked abruptly, looking at Axton.

Axton turned his face away.

"Just don't hurt him," he said. "Do whatever you need to do to keep us apart, just don't hurt him. Please."

"I don't like it," Dana said. "This is unlike you--you're planning something."

"What could I possibly do to you, Dana?" Axton asked, turning now to look at him. "You ran us down. You have us cornered. You're bigger, faster, stronger. What do you have to fear from me?" Axton dropped his eyes meekly in implied surrender.

Give him a nice sense of confidence
, Leander had told him,
make him feel he's won
.

Axton was also turning his face away because he didn't trust his ability to lie well, even here. But Dana
wanted
to believe…

Right on cue, something in Dana softened, just a little. Just enough.

"Please," Axton said again, at a whisper this time. "Dana. Please."

"You don't have to do this, sugar," Dana said. "Ditch the human somewhere--I'll even let him live--and you and me run off together. No pack. Just us. I'm ready for it now."

Axton shook his head.

"Not in an hundred years," he said, with regret.

"And in a hundred and one years?" Dana asked.

"Ask me then," Axton said.

"Aren't you a persistent little shit," Leander said to Dana.

That wasn't part of the plan, but whatever. Axton could tell that it was hard for Leander to watch Dana's proposition. Plan or not, some deep down possessive switches were flipped.

"You're just jealous you ain't gonna be alive in a hundred years time," Dana said.

"Well," Leander said, "kind of, yes, but--"

"I'll take you," Dana said. "Don't know what the hell I'm gonna tell everyone, but I'll take you. As a favor to Axton, you understand."

"Of course," Leander said.

"I get to decide why you're a prisoner," Dana said, "and you
will
agree with anything I say."

"Whatever you want," Leander said. "As long as no one roughs me up. I'd hate to end up suddenly dead. It would be a shame to have those coordinates leaked because of an accident, right?"

"As if I'd let anyone
else
have the pleasure," Dana said. "All right. Deal."

Blindly, Axton stretched out his arm, groping for Leander's hand.

Leander squeezed Axton's hand in either reassurance or nerves.

"Deal," he agreed.

"I love you," Axton said thickly, because his heart felt like it was breaking, plan notwithstanding.

"I love you," Leander said, and his grip tightened. "Axton. I'll love you forever."

"That's nice, you two," Dana said, putting a rough hand on Leander's shoulder and yanking him back. "Let's go before lover boy here realizes he's out of his goddamn mind."

Axton surged forward and pressed into his lover, planting a hard kiss on his lips.

Leander closed his eyes and kissed back fiercely, making an anguished sound when Dana shoved them apart.

It made Axton realize that Leander was scared. Playing it cool, but scared. Utterly committed to the cause and plan, but scared. Brave, but the kind of brave that worked through fear instead of being blind to it.

And somehow, that upped the stakes just a little bit higher. Just a little. Just enough to maybe reach a tipping point.

Axton's heart hung in a precarious, dizzying balance, caught between two precipices of emotion.

Axton looked at Leander, who was standing tall and square and hiding the flicker of fear in his eyes.

Axton made his choice.

He didn't even hear what Dana said as he dragged Leander away.

Extracting his clothes from the car wreck, Axton dressed himself and then sat down on the curb to consider his options. His head hung between his knees, and he stayed like that for a long time. There were no tears. He felt exhausted beyond their reach.

"Fuck, fuck, okay," Axton muttered to himself. "All right."

He patted himself down, relieved to find his cell phone in a back pocket.

Crickets chirped as he dialed.

"Ax? Hi," Sarah said, uncertainly. "You okay?"

Oh, fuck. It was going to be Axton's job to explain. Later; there would be time for that later. He pinched the bridge of his nose, squeezed his eyes shut.

"Look," he said. "Can you get me a plane ticket?"

"You're going for it?" Sarah asked.

Oh, he didn't have to explain anything. Good.

"Yeah," Axton said. "Yeah. I am."

There was a great white nothing in Axton's heart, as if winter had come and stayed. He felt snowed in, like there would have to be a spring thaw before he could feel anything at all. He was propelled forward by an absence of feeling rather than a flood. Perhaps that would be for the best and perhaps it would not, but for the moment the blankness served him well. He had a single bag tossed over his shoulder and he went through the airport and boarded the plane without a single shred of anxiety.

Nothing. He felt nothing. Axton usually felt at least vague social awkwardness in public. He never knew where to stand. He spoke to no one, which wasn't unusual--but he was silent because he truly had nothing to say to anyone, not because he worried about saying the wrong thing.