Everything You Want (11 page)

“A.—You say that about everyone,
and B.—How would you know?  You’ve barely spoken to her.”

“Just a vibe I get.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah.  Just like the vibe I get
that you’re really into her.”

“Alisha, you can save it.  We’re not
even dating.  We’re just friends.”

“Yeah, you act like you’re just friends.”

“We are.  Because you’ve got it
backwards.  I’m not good enough for her.”

Alisha laid a hand gently on my forearm,
and looked up into my eyes.  “Kieran, that’s not true.  Listen, I
know about your…past…and I’m here to tell you, there’s a girl out there that’s
going to make you forget about all of that.”

I looked over at the couch where Marissa
was laughing and talking with Ollie.  “Yeah…maybe.”

Alisha ran her hand up to my elbow, and
squeezed.  “Maybe she’s even closer than you think,” I heard her say, but it
was like her voice was miles away.  My focus was on Marissa’s bright
smile, her laughing eyes.  She was radiant.

I nodded at Alisha, not even sure what I
was agreeing to, and she smiled, squeezing my arm again before grabbing her cup
off the counter.

An hour or so later we left the
coffeehouse.  I drove us back to the building.  We were standing in
the space between our doors and I didn’t know what to say, I just rambled on
about the concert and how we should do it again sometime.  I really wanted
to do it again sometime. 

Marissa nodded.  She was staring up
at me, and her lips slightly turned up, her eyes wide.  If I didn’t know
better, I’d think she wanted me to kiss her.  And I wanted to.  I
really did.

I looked down at her.  She didn’t
know what she was getting herself into.  She didn’t know me, not like she
thought she did.  It wouldn’t be fair to her. I couldn’t give her
everything she needed, everything she deserved.  It wouldn’t be fair.

It wouldn’t be fair…

My lips found hers.  Her arms
slipped around my neck, pulling me closer, and I couldn’t control it
anymore.  All the longing I’d been feeling consumed me and my hands were
on her back, in her hair.  I needed her to be closer to me, needed her to
feel this yearning that I’d been carrying around with me ever since the first
time I saw her.  I just needed her.

After several moments, I let my arms fall
slowly to my side and pulled away.  She sighed softly as she backed
towards her door.  I stood still, thinking my heart might explode from all
the electricity running through my veins. 

“Goodnight,” I whispered.

“Goodnight.”

I slipped into my apartment, careful not
to wake Kiera or my nephew.  I walked into the bathroom and closed the
door softly behind me.  I flipped the lights on and grabbed the edge of
the counter, bracing myself against it and looked at myself in the
mirror.  My lips were slightly shimmering with tiny little sparkles. 
Her lip gloss
, I thought.

What was I doing?  I shook my
head.  I eyed my sparkly lips again and couldn’t help but smile.  I
wasn’t sorry that I’d kissed her.  But I was afraid I would be. 

Marissa

I walked straight to the bedroom, my pets
trailing behind me.  I collapsed on the bed, pulled a pillow over my face,
and let out a victorious squeal, kicking my legs in the air wildly.  When
I finally removed the pillow, George and Oatmeal were on either side of my
head, staring down at me, probably contemplating my sanity, and Tulip had her
front legs on the edge of the bed, doing the same.  I smiled at
them.  They might’ve thought I’d gone nuts, but that was okay.  I
couldn’t remember a time when I was ever this happy.

Kieran’s kiss had felt exactly as I
imagined.  Warm and soft, electric.  It had left me wanting
more.  I blushed when I thought of his hands on my back, in my hair,
pulling me closer, like we couldn’t be close enough. 

I took a deep, blissful breath and walked
back into the living room where Tulip’s neon pink leash was lying on the coffee
table.  “Come on, girl,” I said, picking it up and waiting by the door.

My purse, which I’d thrown on the couch,
started buzzing.  I dug around for my phone, finally grasping it on the
last ring.  I looked at the screen and frowned.

1 Missed Call:  Shayla

What could she want at one-thirty in the
morning?  Not that she’d never called late before, but still.  I
pressed her name on the screen to call her back.

“Riss?” she answered after the third
ring.

“Shayla, is everything okay?”

“I don’t know, you called me.”

“No, you called me.”

“When?”

“Just now,” I said.

“Oh.  Sorry, I must’ve pocket dialed
you.”

“Oh.  Well, since we’re on the phone
anyway, what’s up?  Did you work tonight?”

“Yes, and then Paul took me out to
dinner, and now we’re just hanging out at his friend’s house.  It’s kind
of boring,” she whispered.

“Yeah, well, that’s what you get for
dating a forty year old man.”

“Paul is not forty.  He is
thirty-eight, and he is very handsome and kind and stable, and he’s just what I
need.”

“I’m not going to argue with that.” 
Shayla didn’t really have a great track record when it came to men.  Paul
was a breath of fresh air compared to the last three, two of which were
currently incarcerated.

“What’s up with you?  Don’t tell
me.  Cookies and Rom Coms, right?”

“Nope.  I just got in, actually.”

“Really?” she asked, a hint of skepticism
in her voice.  “Where’ve you been?”

“Well, first we went to a club to see
this local band play, and then we went to this little coffee shop.”

“Hold up.  Who are ‘we’?”

“Just some friends.”

“Friends?  When did you get
friends?”

“Well, they’re not really my friends, but
they were cool.”

“Whose friends are they?”

“This guy I was with.”

Shayla gasped.  “You were with a
guy?  So you’re seeing someone?”

“I think so.  I mean, he hasn’t put
a label on it, but things seem to be going in that direction.”  I bit my
lip as I felt another blush cross my cheeks.

“Is it that guy from work?”

“No, but I did go out with him. 
There’s nothing there, though.”

“When did you go out with him?”

“On Labor day, and then the day after.”

“Why am I just now hearing about it?”

“Because, there’s nothing to tell. 
It wasn’t that great.”

“Who are you seeing then?”

“My neighbor.”

“Neighbor?  When did you get a hot
neighbor?  Wait.”  I waited as she tried to recall all the people
she’d seen when she’d come to stay the weekend with me.  “Nooo!”  She
breathed, finally realizing whom I was referring to.  “That gorgeous guy
with the longish hair?”

“Yep.”

“Oh, Riss!  He’s smoking hot, but
he’s not your type.  He’s my type.  My old type,” she amended.

“No, really.  He’s not the bad boy we
made him out to be.  Well, maybe he used to be, but not anymore. 
He’s a teacher.”

“Teacher?  You’re kidding.  I
would’ve pegged him for a tattoo artist or guitarist or something.”

“Nope.  He’s really sweet.”

“It sounds like someone is in pretty deep
like with him,” Shayla teased.

“I am.”

“Has he kissed you yet?”

“Yes.”

“How was it?”

“Amazing.”

“That’s my girl.  Listen, I’ve got
to go before Paul comes looking for me, but I want to hear all about this
later.  Call me tomorrow?  Not too early, of course.”

“Okay.”

I ended the call and sat the phone on the
coffee table.  I clicked the TV on and channel surfed until I found some
acceptable background noise and then walked into the kitchen.  I was way
too keyed up to sleep now.  I pulled out the flour and the sugar and
flipped my recipe book to a new page.

Kieran

When I woke up the next morning, Kiera
was in the kitchen feeding Skylar.

“You got in late,” she said, offering
Skylar another spoonful of mushy cereal.

“Yes, I did.”  I winked at her as I
grabbed a mug out of the cabinet above the coffeemaker.  “Did you already
make coffee?  That is so thoughtful.  You are so thoughtful, Kiera,”
I said, filling my mug with the steaming black liquid.

Kiera laughed.  “Someone’s in a good
mood.”

“Yes, I am.”  I sat my coffee on the
small table and leaned over to kiss Skylar on the head.

“This wouldn’t have anything to do with
the girl next door, would it?”

I shrugged, trying to play it cool, but
my lips betrayed me, turning up in a giant grin.

“So, we had a good date then?” she asked.

“Not a date.  We were just hanging
out with my friends.”

“Then I guess there wasn’t any kissing or
anything like that?”

I sucked in my bottom lip and looked at
the wall, feeling the redness creep into my cheeks.

“There was!  Yeah, it was definitely
a date.”

“Maybe it was,” I said.

“And you’re okay with that?  I
thought this girl was off limits or something.”

“She is.  Well, she should be. 
I don’t know what I’m doing.  I can’t seem to stay away from her.”

“Then don’t.”

I gave Kiera a pointed look.

“I’m just saying.  You need to get over
Becca and move on.”

“I am over Becca and I have moved on.”

“Sure, you have.”

“Kiera, can we talk about something else? 
You’re killing my vibe.”

“Fine.  Just tell me one thing.”

“Yes?”

“Does she make you happy?”

I brought the mug up to my lips and took
a big gulp.  “You know she does.”

“I know.  I just wanted to make sure
that you knew.”

I took another sip of my coffee and
looked away.  About that time, I noticed the suitcases in the living room.

“Kiera, what is this?” I asked, pointing
my coffee mug at the luggage.

“Oh, that?  I’m moving out.”

“You’re what?  Why?”

“Because.  I can’t live with you
forever.”

“Sure you can.”

“That’s sweet, but I can’t.  You
need your space, and I need to find a place for Skylar and me.”

“You’re not going back to Rob are you?” I
asked, narrowing my eyes.

She looked at me and rolled her eyes. 
“No!  I’m moving in with Mom and Dad.  I talked to them last night,
explained everything.  I’m going to live there until I can get back on my
feet.”

I took a deep breath.  She was
right, but I still liked having her here.  “Okay,” I said, “If that’s what
you want.”

She nodded.

“At least let me help you move.”

“It’s okay.  Mom and Dad are driving
down today to pick me up.  Then, after I’m unpacked, I’m buying a car.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah.  You know, I had an awesome
car before you got ahold of it.  Why’d you have to wreck the Honda,
Kieran?” she teased playfully.  She didn’t normally tease me about my accident,
but I knew what she meant.  That Accord was an awesome machine.

“Kiera, you don’t want the Honda. 
It was from, like, 1986.”

“Yeah, and it was a tank.”

“Yes, it was.”  I chuckled.

I looked at all the stuff crammed in my
living room.  “You’re going to need more than one car.  I’ll haul
some of this up there for you.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“No, really.  I haven’t been home in
awhile.  I’d like to go.  I’ll stay the weekend with you, help you
and the kid get settled in.”

“Kieran.”

“It would make me feel better.”

“You’re so stubborn sometimes.”

I shrugged. 

Suddenly we heard a cabinet slam shut in
the next apartment. 

“Sounds like your girlfriend’s awake,”
Kiera said, wiping Skylar’s mouth with his bib.

“Shut up,” I said, but I was smiling.  It
had been a long time since I’d liked the sound of that word.

Marissa

After work on Wednesday, I walked up the
stairs and was pleasantly surprised to see Kieran leaning against the railing
in front of his door, drinking a mug of coffee.